Burnout Series Part 1 - Tired, Lazy, or Burnt Out?

Welcome back to the Infinite Gold Podcast. Today we have Friday Fuel. How you doing, babe?

I'm fired up. I'm fucking fired up.

Let's go! So it's gonna be a 4-part series. We're gonna be talking about burnout, and in this one we're gonna talk about questions as to what's the difference between burnout, maybe just being tired, uh, being lazy, you know, the different types of what burnout is and what it isn't, and kind of like the myth and, you know, truths about it.

Yeah. Um, fucking my brain is fogging. To signs of burnout. Yeah, you see a lot of, uh, brain fog can come from that. Um, and you talk about the differentiating factor between am I tired or am I just burnt out? And I think we identified, like for me, that times where I was saying that I was tired, well, we learned, okay, I was getting too much sleep. Hmm. And then it was also, it was a combination of getting too much sleep and being burnt out.

I, I love that you already, you jumped right into it with that because a lot of people think, oh, I just need more sleep. I just need more sleep.

Mm-hmm. Well, and, and paying, paying attention and raising awareness to my sleep patterns, going to bed at the same time every night and making sure that I get up in the morning when my alarm goes off, because I'm gonna clap for myself here. I've been doing pretty damn good with that lately.

And yeah, you have.

If you know, if you know me. I normally, I just, I don't do mornings, but I've been grateful now for being on top of waking up when my alarm goes off, because it's allowing me to have that time in the morning, at least the first hour, a minimum of the first hour.

So real quick, you're kind of jumping ahead, but this is a great tool that you have now done. What is one of the tactics or tools that you have taken into account when you realize that you're getting burnt out and What it appears is, is you weren't having mom time.

No, the— I think biggest key was being able to have my me time.

Yeah.

Um, because that's allowing me to fill my own cup. That way I have something to pour from later on.

Because dive into that a little bit more. What do you mean by that?

Pouring into myself and pouring and being able to—

yeah, what's this concept of an empty cup that, uh, you're discussing?

Okay, so like trying to pour from an empty cup is like trying to drive a car with no gas. You You're not gonna get anywhere.

No, you're not.

You're just gonna be pissed off on the side of the road. And it's probably, you know, if you're thinking summertime, you know, 80s to 90 degrees depending on where you're at. If you're in Arizona, well, 120, that fucking sucks. You know, it's, you're not, you're not getting anywhere. And the, you can only try to push so hard. Yeah. And you're like, I'm, I'm trying, but I've got nothing left to give. Now you're irritable, you're short-tempered, and things that normally wouldn't bother you start to really get under your skin. And then you start acting out of character and you are not acting yourself.

Yeah.

And sometimes when we're not acting ourselves and we're acting out of character, we're showing some ugly side of us. We all have an ugly side.

Very true, 100%. Um, let's keep this rolling. You're killing it already. Is What made you have that transition? Because I know it took some time, but for somebody out there who's like, no, I need my 8 to 9 hours sleep, like I have to have that, but it now cuts into their mom time or their dad time, why was that so important? Where even if you had to cut out a little bit of sleep to make sure you had that, why was that so important?

Well, it made a difference in how I felt because I knew, I realized how important my time in the morning by myself before I can go and give to my kids, to business, to you if you're home and you're off from work.

Yeah.

Um, allow— allowing me to recharge myself, you know, outside of my sleep. Yeah. Um, recharging myself by getting to enjoy a cup of coffee on the porch, maybe. Excuse me. Maybe, um, that's going on a walk in the morning before the kids wake up and on days that you're home, that you're home from work. Um, or, or if you're on nights, like then I have the morning and I can go walk because now that you're home with the kids. Yeah. Um, but definitely the, the walking piece was also a huge game changer and journaling, practicing gratitude.

That's, that's huge right there.

And doing some grounding.

Yeah.

Doing, just doing all of those things. And the other thing I started to take advantage of that, so normally I'm not a huge breakfast fan. I don't want to eat right when I get up, but I understand the importance of it and getting protein into your body as quickly as possible when you first wake up, down your 20 ounces of water, take in 30 grams of protein in the morning. Before coffee. And what I used to do was go straight to my coffee, and that would spike my cortisol levels. And then before you know it, if I woke up too close to when the kids were getting up or when they got up, my cortisol levels are already through the roof. I'm already amped up, and I'm like, shit, well, I didn't have my me time. Now, now I feel like I'm gonna be on edge and everything's gonna get to me under the sun. Kid drops a fork off the table and I'm like, yeah, it's not a big deal, it's not that serious, it's just a fork, I can rinse it off, I can rinse it It's just a fork. But it was— it's all of those little things that were like triggering to me when I wasn't giving myself that time that I needed in the morning to fill my cup.

Yeah.

So I'm like, okay, I'm filled up, I'm recharged, I'm ready to go. Now I can, I can, I can pour into others.

Yeah.

And pour into them. I can pour into the business and not feel so— I don't know if bogged down is the right word.

It makes sense though. But, um, Bogged down with life, everything we have. Yeah, we're all— we all get bogged down with life.

Yeah, everybody's got something going on.

So I love that. It's what's, what's interesting is, is everybody always thinks that, you know, burnout, it, it comes with everybody. Like, it's the same thing with everybody. It shows up the same way, it looks the same thing, and we all have it at the same time. But for you and I, it's completely different. Obviously, a lot of your burnout comes from the kids. That's who you deal with on a daily basis, which, thank you for You're amazing at it because I could not do that. Um, there's, there's a reason why men and women and we have different tactics and stuff that we do in life, and that's not one for me, and that is definitely one for you. Yeah, but for me, my mornings, I'm more of that buffalo. I can get up and I can just go. Like, I don't need to have that alone time. I don't need to have that, those certain things. I can just get up and just go. Like Hormozy talks about it. Some people need to have a morning routine where they need to do A, B, and C, and D, and E, and they start going. I could literally just jump into work right away and I'm perfectly fine. But for me, my burnout comes midday or towards the end of the day. That's when mine comes if I'm not paying attention. So for some people who maybe that happens for you, you need to have some different rituals or tactics that will help you. One of the big ones for me is breathwork. Yeah. Some meditation or like just going on like a quick walk or something. Like if I'm in the middle of work and I'm like, okay, I've got too much going on. I just need to go for a walk. I just need to walk around, get some fresh air, get some sunlight. Those things are huge. And then I'll give kudos to, uh, one of our friends, uh, love the guy. Uh, Gary Chupik talks about the reset button. Yeah. That's huge for me as well. Especially with, you know, us first responders and even just high-pressured entrepreneurs. Like if you're going from meeting to meeting, to meeting, to meeting, you need a reset button. You need to take a break after every single meeting, after every single call you need to take, whether or not it's, yeah, whether or not it's 5 minutes or even just a minute.

Yeah.

You need that minute just to decompress, let go of what you just dealt with. For example, if I was on a call for service or traffic stop, let it go and then move on to the next thing. Cause if you don't let those things and they just keep piling up, yeah, you're going to burn out. It's inevitable.

You're gonna burn out and you're gonna blow up.

Exactly. It's, it's gonna, it's probably gonna be both. And then next, you know, you were on a sales call with somebody and it was going well and they're just were asking you so many questions and in your mind they're asking you so many questions, but they're just interested. Yeah. They're just curious. How? And you didn't decompress from everything and then you end up blowing up and there goes your sale.

Yeah.

Or it could be a, a myriad of things. If you had back-to-back coaching clients and next, you know, you had a coaching client who was really struggling and then you just could not pour into them as much because You're burnt out or you've got so much going on.

Yeah. Well, it's like, we're human too. We're human too. And I think there's some people out there that forget that.

They do.

There's like, but you're a coach. You're supposed to be maintaining your composure at all times. Like, yeah, there might be some truth to that, but what Greg has said before, don't mistake my composure for ease.

Exactly. But that's what. Makes or breaks the high individual who knows what they're doing and who doesn't. Where we make it look easy because in the back end of things we're doing all of these little things, right?

Yeah, like if having the reset button in your toolkit, correct, is—

it's handy. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, the amount of times that I've used the reset button. Yeah, like, okay. Time to go step outside.

Kids are freaking out. I'm gonna walk to another room, take a couple deep breaths.

Follow me, bro. Stage 10 clears.

You can't—

like, I can't even go out the front door.

You can't— you can't even shit in peace.

No, that's accurate. That's accurate.

Especially while potty training basically both of them now. They want to go with you.

Yeah, well, I mean, Jax, but he knows what he's doing. But now he gets excited because like Sissy goes, yep, and then like we run out of toilets. Like, we need a bath. We need one of those bathrooms with multiple stalls, one for each of us, because Bubba likes to come in when Sissy and I are going. We're like, well, we're out of toilets, bro, go upstairs.

Yeah, and the next thing you know, he's gonna poop upstairs, and then you're running upstairs to try to wipe his butt.

Oh, that's all good. No, that, or he won't even tell me, so I'll go up there at the end of the day or even the next day, and there's just this turd that you could tell has been marinating in there for a while. You're like, cool, bro, thanks, thanks for the heads up.

He—

I taught you how to flush. Why didn't you do it?

Like, well, that means he also put on his underwear and probably didn't wipe his butt or do anything, correct? Gotta love boys. So let's backtrack a little bit. Um, obviously we've got a lot of questions that we've had recently from some clients and just other people in general, people from, you know, our amazing Front Percent community. But one of the things, um that was coming up a lot was like the lesser known signs of it. And you kind of brought up one of 'em, which was like the brain fog. Um, I know another one is like, you talked about like irritability. Yeah. Um, like that's not, that's not tired. That's something else.

Yeah. And then, and there's a lot that contributes to the, like the brain fog too, but it's, it's definitely what, it's still one of those signs that like do come up. Like when you can't think straight and you are constantly forgetting stuff, you're like, you know, that you're burnt out because you're not, you're not pouring into yourself. You're not taking care of yourself and your wellbeing.

Yeah.

Am I hydrating? Am I eating healthy whole foods?

Mm-hmm.

Because your nutrition and hydration are huge when it comes to your brain.

Yeah. Now you're tapping into the vitality pillar.

Yeah, exactly.

Mm-hmm.

So it's like if, if you're eating shit and you're not drinking enough water, like, well, yeah, you're not gonna be thinking straight.

You're just in go mode.

Yeah. Like, do you realize what you're doing to your gut too?

Oh yeah, you're killing it.

You're not— you're not helping any of it.

But, um, not to get off topic, that's why I love our water fast.

Yeah, no, I—

taking the health into account.

You could tell that we enjoy talking about this because we are— we're so passionate about our health and we want to share that with others as well.

But again, it's so true. I realized for me one of the biggest things, um, is I'm a very optimistic person, as you know. Like, I've always— long-term vision goals, I'm like, yep, we're thinking it, yep, this is happening, I become less optimistic and more pessimistic. That's what I noticed. Yes, I've noticed that.

I see that.

Yeah. And I'm like, so that's probably my biggest like trigger that I realize, like when I see that, I'm like, time to reframe, time to start focusing. What have I been doing in the last couple days, the last couple weeks?

Because you've gotten it, you've gotten negative when you're burnt out. I'm like, immediately you're like, that's not gonna work out. I'm like, babe, yeah, give it a chance. And you're And then I'll reframe it for you.

And then you're like, you know, that makes sense. And then for me, I start realizing, I'm like, okay, am I not sleeping enough? Am I working too hard? Am I not sleeping enough? Yeah. That's besides the point. That's, that's a completely different topic. So am I not like, but am I not doing my me times? Like you said, like, am I not resetting enough? Am I not, if I'm not going on my walks, I'm not meditating. I'm not doing breathwork. Like, am I not doing that stuff to ground myself a lot more? And I'm like, okay, it's time to start grounding. But yeah, it's funny when you're like, You sure that's not gonna work? I'm like, why did I say that? That's not even me. That's not even my normal self.

I'm like, again, okay, out of character.

Correct. And that's something that you need to think about, uh, listening in, is where is your thought process changing? Because whatever you're thinking is what your actions are going to be. Whatever you're thinking is what is going to come. If you're thinking that you can't do it, if you're thinking that it's not going to work, well, you're probably going to be right. It's probably not going to work and things aren't going to go well.

Well, too, okay, with the mindset piece of like when you're burnt out, people get the poor me mentality and like— yeah, the plum party. Like, life is happening to me, and really it's— no, life is happening for me.

I love the way— that's your favorite quote, and I love it.

Yeah, no, it's— it's— I think it's definitely a game changer too, because you, you start to shift your language, and you're like— at first it might seem weird because maybe it's not your— it's not your typical verbiage is not your typical language. You don't normally speak so positively or so optimistically, as we like to— like, especially if you're trying to transition from being a Negative Nancy, you know, be an optimistic Oliver.

I like it. That's perfect.

So good. Um, but see, look, well, let me ask you a question.

Yeah, let me ask you a question while I think on that. Yeah, so my— that was my biggest thing is when start realizing that I'm more of a pessimistic. What is some things that you do that kind of leads to it? And like, one of the things that people are asking is like, what are some like causes or deep like drivers that have caused burnout for you?

Well, I think number one, being a mom, like having everything being demanded of you from everyone and everything. That's true. And that's like not even incorporating the business owner entrepreneur space. That's just, that's just being mom. Like, especially when you've got toddlers and all the toddler moms out there will be like, yep. Hey, every 5 seconds, Mom, I need a snack. Mom, wipe my butt. Mom, I need juice box. Mom, Mom, Mom, Lois.

You know, if we got— if you got paid a cent for every time they said Mom, yeah, you'd probably be a millionaire by now.

I wouldn't even have to work. Like, well, we're moms. We're work— our job is, is more than a 9 to 5.

It's 24/7, 365.

Like, yep.

Yeah. Um, no paid holidays.

But yeah, being, being a mom, yeah, you feel like you're always on.

Yeah.

Um, and I know like even in our burnout quiz, I'm just now like realizing, I'm like, cuz the one of the questions was, do you ever feel like Your brain doesn't ever shut off.

Mm-hmm.

And I think I gave it like a 7. Yeah. I was like, eh, it's more like, okay, a 10 because it doesn't ever shut off. Because whether I'm thinking about turning over laundry maybe, mm-hmm, or feeding the kids lunch, feeding myself. Yeah. Handling something business related, what have you. My brain's constantly thinking about something or thinking about the future or thinking about the next thing. Yep. And go like all these things one after and after another.

Um, real quick. I love that you just brought up the quiz and for all of our listeners, it's going to be in the show notes. We created a burnout quiz. That's going to help you identify where you are on the scale of burnout. And each question you're going to rate yourself. And at the end, you're going to see, cool. Am I doing well? Am I not doing well? How can I, uh, where are you at in the circle? Yeah, exactly. Where can I help myself out? So you mentioned right there that it was like a 10. But it's not always a 10 because you've now tapped into tactics and tools, which now we have in our burnout guide that you get with the quiz. What is one of those tools that you've realized that when your mom brain is like on 24/7, which it's always going to be, you guys are moms, like it's inevitable, but how have you like reduced that on, like instead of it being like redline on, how are you like less, like how have you reduced the RPMs of that?

I definitely think it's more, um, of a green to yellow light on. It's not—

but it used to be red.

It used to be a red. Yes, it used to be a red. And you know what, there are some days where it does come up and it's a red day, but it's gonna happen, um, just because life happens and things come up. Um, but I—

toddlers are toddlers. Toddler is gonna toddler.

One thing that's helped me that I do is a lot of brain dumping. I'll write in my reMarkable or I'll write in my journal and just kind of dump whatever's on my, on my mind and put it onto paper. And then I get to physically look at it like, oh shit, I got a lot on my mind, you know? And then kind of like attacking one thing at a time, step by step. But like sometimes if I'm just going to get it out and not picking apart everything that I write down, because sometimes it's a laundry list of things, sometimes it's just a handful of things but they're in depth, you know what I mean? Yeah. So writing those down and then at least like getting it off my mind for a little bit, like, okay, And it gives me a little bit more clarity too, like, okay, what am I so wrapped up in mentally up here? What's going on that I need to figure out? And maybe there's some— maybe there is something on that list that you go and you dive deep on. Yeah, that also applies to a couple of other things on the list, and now you're attacking more and getting it out of the way.

That's so good.

Again, the clarity piece that you get from brain dumping.

Yeah, for me, the journaling has been huge, um, because I've never been that type of person. And if you're a man out there and you think journaling is weak, uh, I highly recommend you rethink that.

It's a flex.

Yeah, and take a look at it. Um, and again, it's— try not to think of journaling as this like high school girl thing. Yeah, that, oh, I'm journaling about my crush and when I'm gonna get married and this and that. Like, yes, there is journaling for that, but there's also journaling for exactly what you just said, and that's brain dumping. Like, for me, I'm a buffalo. I am in go mode 24/7, 365 days a year. Not with the kids. Well, sometimes with the kids, obviously, but just in general, I'm like, hey babe, and you're going to laugh at this. Hey, I got a new idea. Hey babe, I think we should do this. Hey babe, what if we do this thing? Hey, this thing would be really cool to do.

Put a quarter in the jar for every time, babe, I got an idea.

I got an idea. All right.

When don't you have an idea?

I don't know.

You've always got—

I always got an idea. I always got something.

Yeah.

But for me, is— that's the visionary— is putting it down to paper allows my brain to slow down, but it also allows me to realize that I'm, I'm starting to think about too many different things that aren't aligned with what we want to do right now. Now, there are a lot of things that I want to do.

Yes.

But they're not aligned with what needs to happen right now.

Yeah.

And that's been the biggest thing for me is transitioning is, is I'm always in that visionary mindset. So if you're listening and you're always in visionary, you're always in dreaming, you're always in like that mentality, you need to bring yourself back to more present and be like, okay, that's great. That's where we're going to go, but we can't jump there now.

What, like now you have to start setting the steps and setting the goals and milestones. Okay. What am I going to do to get there?

Yes. And what do I need to focus on right now?

Except 2, it's not going to happen right now.

And that's huge. Like, again, the majority of people, myself included, I want, you know, 10 years to happen right now. Yeah. Now we work that hard. That's— you have to work that hard. And Grant Cardone talks about, he's like, imagine what you can get done if you think that you can get 10 years of work done in 6 months. And you're not going to get it done, but you're going to get a hell of a lot done before then. I mean, we've talked about with scheduling, if you don't schedule, that's another thing. And just think about it. When you were in high school, college, when you had a paper due on Friday, you did it on Thursday night, but you got it done on Friday. So if you put in your mind that, oh, I'll get that done, you know, in 3 weeks, well, you're going to get it done in 3 weeks. What if you tell yourself, I'm going to get it done in a week?

Yeah.

You're probably gonna get it done in a week.

Yeah.

Now that's the opposite of things.

Yeah. You start setting plans for yourself and expectations like, hey, I'm going to get this done before.

Yes. So that's for like, cause you can get burnout from being lazy. Like you can get burned out from not doing anything. And that's one of the other things that we talked about is I'm gonna bring it up here so I don't get it wrong, but Maslow's model. If you Google Maslow's model, basically what he is talking about is the burnout model. And there's 3 different things when it comes to it. The first one is emotional exhaustion. That's a lot of what we've been talking about right now. At first, a feeling of being like depleted, worn out. Yeah. Number 2 is gonna be like a depersonalization, is a cynical or detached attitude towards others. So that's when you try to, you start being more alone. You, you, you start focusing on just yourself and you're not focusing on other people. It'll happen like, You're not focusing on your family. Like, there's been times where I haven't gone that far, but I have had moments where I'm like, I don't want to be around the family right now. I don't want to do that. I just want to go work. And that's not the best route to go, obviously.

Yeah.

And then the last thing, which is the— I feel is one of the biggest things for a lot of people, and it's the reduced personal accomplishment. It's a sense of ineffectiveness. So, and that's where the laziness comes into play. It's like, I'm not getting anything done. Or nothing's happening. And that's where you alluded to it, where you're like, it's not happening right away.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No. And I feel like that's definitely been a stage that I've been in and it's like, we've got a lot of stuff going on. There's a lot of moving parts. We're moving, we're moving forward, but we're moving at a slower rate than we would like to. So it feels at, in that moment, it feels like we're not going anywhere.

Yeah.

But when. We're measuring our progress now. We can go back and look at it and see, okay, we did this, we did this, we did this, we did this, this, this, this. Oh shit, we actually did a lot. It just took a while. And that, that's how it's supposed to happen, correct? It's not how it's supposed to—

it's not going to happen overnight. Yeah. And again, check out our routines. We'll throw them in the show notes as well. But that's where your weekly routines your, and your monthlies come into play is what have I done this past week and what do I need to do the next week? And it helps you realize, holy moly, yes, I'm not where I want to be, but I'm a lot closer to where I want to be and where I'm going.

Yeah. Well, and using those are, are tools to set you up for success and you can start small. You don't need to go a mile. You can go an inch.

Yeah.

Those inches will stack up. And start creating greater wins. So don't discredit the smaller, the smaller bits. I've talked about this before. A win is a win, bigger.

A win is a win.

A win is a win, big or small. Um, and I guess it's just like tracking that. It's that tracking piece of like saying like, hey, okay, we're done, check that off. You know, it's what's one thing I can do every day that's going to get me closer?

Correct.

And just start with that. And once you can start achieving that one thing every day consistently, yep, for however long you set the date for— you got it set, you got to set a date.

You do.

Yeah, set a date. Because now, now you're like, okay, now I have to work for it. Now I have to make sure that I'm doing it. And then start adding something else onto it. Don't add something else if you're not already accomplishing the one thing a day that you said that you were gonna do.

Exactly. Yeah. Don't start stacking things on top of you if you haven't even gotten the couple things done already.

Mm-hmm.

Because then you're gonna get burnt out. Yes. Which we're trying to eliminate right now.

Right.

Awesome. So as we close up here, 3 golden nuggets that our listeners should know when it comes to burnout in the early stages of it, or if they're in, in the deep depths of it right now.

I would pay attention to the, the sleep portion. The sleep was a big one for me. So pay— paying attention to your sleep, um, and tracking consistently going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time. Um, obviously, like, if you end up going to bed a little bit later, still aim for that same time that you're gonna get up. So maybe you lose a half an hour of sleep. Maybe you don't get your full 8 hours. Maybe you get 7 and a half.

Yeah.

But get up at that same time and just kind of like play around with it. See how, see how it affects your, um, your energy levels.

Yep.

And if you're get— if you're getting what's necessary for your body. Um, I mean, I track mine on my Garmin, but the sleep piece was definitely huge when I, I recognized that when I started going to bed on at the same time and getting up at the same time every morning, I felt less burnt out. Yeah, because now like It's routine. Yep, it's a routine that you're following.

It's a routine.

And having a routine, we've recognized and identified how important it is. Yeah, because that's also kind of like an action piece of staying out of burnout. Yes, or avoiding, you know, avoiding it. Paying attention to irritability is another, another one. And, uh, not, not just like it being one thing that irritates you, but if you're consistently being irritated by the small stuff and you know, that's not like you, pay attention to that sign. So sleep and irritability are two things for me.

Perfect. And then I would say for the third one would be find out when burnout hits you. So find out if you get more burnt out because your morning's not scheduled correctly. Is it because midday you Usually deal with a lot of clients or you deal with stressful work or is it—

or lots of kids.

Or lots of kids, or is it towards the end of the day when everything just starts crumbling down? Find out when that hits you, notice it, and then jump into our burnout guide and utilize the tactics and tools that are gonna help you to get away from that and to eliminate it and/or stop it from happening. So like, you know, that usually around this time or when these certain things are happening, you're gonna throw in a tactic or tool before it happens.

Mm-hmm.

So that way it doesn't.

Yeah.

And again, things are gonna happen, but having these, having this toolbox is what's going to get you to that next level. On that note, thank you for listening to our first of a 4-part series when it comes to burnout. The next episode's gonna be on burnout and hormones and the different differentiation between men and women, obviously there's a difference between the two. We're not going to go dive into that whole concept, but still there's a difference between the two. And check out our show notes. You'll see the burnout quiz in there. Throughout the burnout quiz, you're going to get a free guide that goes with it. You're going to get energy maps that are free. You're going to get videos from us that are free. It's all free for you. Just make sure you check it out, subscribe. Like us. If there's any other questions or any other topics you want us to discuss, reach out to us and we'll be happy to help you guys out.

Yeah, if you need our help, let— reach out. Yes, reach out, participate, take those— take the— participate, participate, take the quiz. Because if you're, if you're struggling but you're just kind of like, well, what do I do? I'm afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Also, you book a free call with us, so we'll walk you through it. We'll help you out.

Yeah.

All right, take care everybody. See you on the next one.