Cultivating Joy: The Habits of Happiness

All right, welcome back to the Infinite Gold Podcast, Growth and Greatness. How's everybody doing today? How you doing today, babe? Baby, I can't complain, can't complain. Cheers, everybody. Today we're going with, uh, tea.

Yep.

So not our normal coffee, but it'll do.

What are you drinking?

Mm, bedtime tea.

Oh, mine's close. It's the lavender chamomile.

So perfect, perfect. Honey, honey, always gotta throw it in there every single time. So today we're talking about habits for happiness, cultivating joy and fulfillment. Lately we've been getting a lot of questions about What kind of habits do we have? What kind of habits should I have if I'm trying to, you know, live life to the fullest?

Well, I think it all starts with your inner happiness.

Hmm.

You know, not looking for happiness in external—

so good—

external things.

Yeah.

Um, so finding happiness within yourself is a good start for sure. Um, being happy with yourself, with who you are. Um, with your, maybe your self-image. Um, just like how you get down on a deeper level with that. I, for me, I think I'm happy with who I'm becoming, happy with who I'm going to be constantly growing and evolving into. I'm happy to see where I've come from, where I started and where I'm at now. And. What— can only imagine how, like, the kind of happiness that I will even, you know, be even more, uh, later on in life.

I feel like one of the shifts for both of us, but especially with you in this past year, is taking those small wins. Yeah, like taking— doing those habits, taking those small wins, and being grateful for them, being, being excited for them, being just happy that Yeah, you're not where you used to be, and we're constantly moving on and getting better, always.

Yeah, and I think tagging along with like the internal happiness and being like happy with the person that you are on the inside and out, and, uh, being happy that like however you are right now isn't who you're going to be tomorrow or the next day. Like, that's a constant like changing thing, but something to contribute to that is doing things that make you happy.

Yeah.

So, and that doesn't necessarily mean it always has to involve other people or, uh, somebody else with you. It's just things that you like to do that make you happy that are like— it could be on your own. Like, for me, uh, I'm a better person when I work out and when I get some sunshine.

Same way.

Give me a solid workout, put me out, put me outside, give me a good sweat, and I'm happy because I accomplished—

that's the thing right there is you feel accomplished, like you're getting things done. And that's just that, that's That's the type of people we are. So if you're one of those people that like needs to accomplish stuff or get things done, then do those little things. Like, it's really not that hard to go outside to get some sun. There's really not that— it's not that hard to go do a quote-unquote workout. That entails going outside and walking, going outside running, doing bodyweight workouts outside.

Yeah, going for a brisk walk. And it means like you can go without headphones and listen to just nature and then sound around you.

Yeah.

But also allows you to be more aware of your surroundings. That's just where my head goes.

But, so what kind of habits have you started to create or how have you created those habits so you can do that?

Uh, so I think I start, I, for a while, obviously, like I, I wanna say that I wore, I would have like both headphones in at one point and then I realized that I was putting my safety at risk. So I would always at least take out one headphone. So it depends on like what side of the street I'm walking on and. If they're, you know, say I'm walking on the right side of the street, I'll only have my right earbud in and I'll leave my left out. And now then I transitioned to kind of having one. And now it's if I have, like, if I'm out with the kids in the stroller, I usually just have whatever it is I'm listening to on speaker. Um, so like if I'm listening to an audiobook, but honestly, recently I haven't been listening to anything when I go on my walks with the kids because now Jackson talks a lot. So I'm conversating with him and/or trying to conversate with Laney because she's— she wants to get in it and she's starting to pick up on all the language and—

yeah, she is—

all the words and stuff like that. You know, she has her— she has her own babble going on.

She does. Special.

It's—

yeah, that's a year and a half babble.

A year. Yeah, exactly. Year and a half babble. She'll be 18 months this month. So, um, yeah, so just listen, uh, not listening to anything at some point and then just kind of learning to be content with silence and being content with nature type noises. It can be hard, especially for someone who like constantly needs to be listening to something or just doing something. Yeah, that's me. But also it, it allows you to kind of quiet your mind.

Yeah.

When you're not listening to anything, you know, you can focus on your breathing, listening to, listening to your heart, listening to your breathing patterns, and, and listening to your body. Uh, maybe you're, uh, cutting off like, or like quieting whatever nonsense you got going on in your brain. Maybe you just had a really long day and you're consumed with everything under the sun, you know, work, whatever stress, whatever side work that you're doing.

Yeah.

Any of those things that's keeping you busy or something that you're worrying about, maybe it'll allow you to quiet your mind. When going on walks. So as hard as it is, it's something I think you kind of have to just gradually do. Maybe even if it's a more physical thing where you feel like you gotta have a headphone in and you just start slowly turning the volume down. I haven't tried this 'cause it's not, it's never been an issue for me 'cause I like being outside and listening to just nature. Mm-hmm. But maybe turning it, turning whatever you're listening to, turn it down low and keep turning it down lower each time you go out. And that way you start getting used to more of the quiet. And then you don't have to have a headphone in or listen to anything. Um, yeah, no, I just, uh, I never really got to like thinking about that cuz I don't have that problem. I'm sorry you do. And that other people might.

Well, when you have a go, go, go brain, sometimes it's, or a lot of times it's hard to shut, shut it down.

Yeah.

Um, one of the places that helps me or that I can do it a lot easier in is, uh, the sauna just cuz it's just hot in there. So sometimes I'll go in there, won't listen to anything, and just be one with myself. And a lot of times that's the only time, or one of the only times, that I can actually relax. And that's just probably because also the heat and sweating and everything that comes with it.

As long as I'm not interrupting you coming out, hey babe, what are you doing?

Yeah, you know, it happens sometimes. But so one of the questions that we received is, what does happiness truly mean to the both of us personally, and then has our definition of it evolved over time? So for me personally, it's 100% evolved over time, and I'm guessing it has with you, and it's gonna most likely do that for everybody. Like, happiness for me in high school was, you know, being with my friends, and for sure in college it was the, it was the same thing. In college it was just being with my friends, it was going out, going to events, doing whatever it had to do with that had nothing to do with life in general.

Yeah.

And then obviously it progressed when I had a career. And then now we have kids, we have two beautiful kids. And happiness for me now is being with you and being with them. So like whatever I have to do in life, whether that's my current job, other jobs, working a lot so that way I can spend more time with you guys and do more things with you guys. That's what happiness truly means to me. And then Also, like, you and I, we're both the same, and that's why we get along so well, is we like to serve people. So for us, or for me, being able to serve you guys and be there for you guys is what true happiness feels for me. So yes, it's 100% evolved over time and it's probably gonna continue to evolve. Mm-hmm. Um, as time progresses.

Yeah, no, I, I definitely think it's probably changed for me as well. Um, I think it's kind of more of a blur now, if anything. The one consistent piece of happiness that I think has always stayed is I'm very simple and simplistic, um, or minimalistic. That's, that was the word I was looking for. Uh, and it's the little things in life that make me happy. And I've always been that way. I haven't ever really been materialistic or need big things in my life to like make me happy. Like, sure. You know, maybe a nice handbag, whatever. But even then I'm like, I'm gonna carry it a handful of times and then it's gonna sit in my closet and collect dust.

Yes, yes it will.

And I used to be like a purse collector in my like teenage years and even preteens.

I know, remember we went through the garage and you had a box full of them that you completely forgot about?

That was different. That was different.

No, you're right.

Mind you, in all of these, they weren't like those fancy like designer handbags. Yeah, it was stuff that I just got at like Kohl's or Target that I saw was cute, you know, and they were like no more than $30.

You still, you still collected them?

Whatever. Yeah, whatever. Okay, you know what, I was purse collector, okay? I even had a rack for me put on the back of my door to hang all of my purses because I collected them. I liked changing out my purses, and sometimes I still do, but now, now as a mom, it's just what's convenient and what's easy to carry.

The kids.

Yeah, with the kids. So I don't really even carry like a a nice purse out unless we're going out for like date night or something. I'll carry like my nice Michael Kors purse and I like that purse. Um, but you know, otherwise it's, it's the, uh, that like belt bag.

Yeah.

Or, or as we used to call it, a fanny pack. You know, cause we're, we're that old that, you know, those were the things that we, we carried and or our parents carried. So yeah. Um, but yeah, it was, again, it's the, is the little things, um, in life that, you know, really make me smile, make me happy. So it's like, and, and being present with the ones that I love the most and the ones that I'm closest to. So any spending any little bit of time with you through all of the damn hours of work that you, you know, sacrifice. Just a couple. Just a couple. But I know it's, and I know it's all in, you know, in good, like it's all for purpose.

Yeah. Good purpose.

100%. It's all in good purpose and I appreciate all the hard work that you do. Because then it makes the time that we do spend together that much more valuable. It does. And with our kids, I— that they're the lights of my life. They might drive me freaking crazy every day, every single day. At some point I'm just like, who are you? What?

They're just— why? They're just testing you, that's all.

Freaking savages. It's just— they test my patience for sure. But you know, that's, that's the beauty of motherhood and God doesn't give you more than you can handle. So, but they are my little, my little shreds of happiness, and I, I don't need, I don't need all the big things in life. Like, yeah, they're nice to have, and there's nothing wrong with having them, especially when you work hard for them.

Um, but, but that future ranch is going to be nice though.

Oh, for sure.

Oh, for sure.

I'm not gonna say that I don't want that. Like, yeah, I do want that. Yeah, working hard for that right now.

You know, yeah, I agree. That's perfect. So the next question that we have is, what are 1 to 2 consistent habits that we genuinely believe contribute to most of our happiness, and why these specific habits? This one's easy for me. It's laughter. It's literally in— it's literally in our podcast name, Growth and Greatness: Life, Legacy, and Laughs. Yeah, on a daily basis, I think you and I try to outwit and get the other person to laugh more than the other person. Oh, for sure. Every single time.

Oh, every, every day. Yeah, every chance we can get. You say something, I try to say something back, and then I like forget what I was gonna say, or it didn't connect the dots the same way it mapped out in my brain. And then I go to say it and you're just looking at me like, what are you trying—

I don't know what she's trying to say.

What are you trying to say right now? I'm like, I don't even know.

It sounded way better in my brain.

It did, it did.

But you're getting better. Yeah, yeah.

Before— I've always been witty. Yeah, ask my mom. I've always been witty. I have that like snapback kind of attitude sometimes. Attitude, humor. The humor too. I've been told by complete strangers that don't even know me, they've just been in my presence. Yeah, you know, being out somewhere, I don't know, having a cocktail or having dinner or something with like mom or whatever. But, um, yeah, no, I I think, uh, it's not exactly the same as it used to be, for sure. Since having kids, my brain's a little messed up. I think, I think all the moms out there can, can confirm this as well.

Like, they don't call it mom brain for nothing.

No, they don't. So you thought I was making shit up? I'm like, no, dude, it's a real thing. And I literally thought it— I thought, I thought what you thought. Yeah. When one of my other girlfriends was like, Did mom brain forgot? I'm like, what do you mean?

How?

Yeah. And then, and then it happened and I'm like, yeah, it's happening right now. It happened. Hi. But you know, I know with the Vitality calls with Dr. Eileen, we'll probably talk about some brain fog and how to improve that because brain fog doesn't just happen for moms. It can happen with anybody.

Usually you've got an imbalance going on, um, with whatever the case may be. And that's also another reason why I do those water fasts. Like, doing that—

I'm considering it now after we had our chat on our last recording with Kane. Yeah, I'm considering doing that because I think I really need it. I think my body will thank me. Not that I've been treating it poorly, no, but I know that I would be doing it a disservice if I didn't at least attempt it. Yep. Again for 3 to 5 days. I know I can do— I know that I can do 3 days because I've done 38. 38 hours. 38 hours. Yeah, 38 hours when we did Project 33 Level 2 Extreme with Greg and RTFP peeps.

Yep.

Um, so I know that I can get through 3 days, uh, easily.

Yeah, well, I don't know about easily.

Okay, I shouldn't say easily, I take that back. Uh, but I could for sure get through 3 days. Yeah. So if I can get through 3 days, I can probably push for another 2.

I mean, you can always start. This is what I tell everybody is just start with 3 days, get that out of the way. And then the next time you do it, see how you feel, go a little bit longer, go a little bit longer. Okay. Um, don't like force yourself that, oh, I have to do 5 days. But yeah, like you said, if you're feeling good after 3, yeah, then yeah, push, push it a little bit longer. Um, but that's the one thing that I always recommend to people too, is if you're thinking about doing a water fast, is listen to your body. Like for me, I wanted to do the 7-day. The previous time, but 5 days in, I already lost like 4.5, 5, 5% body weight. Crazy. And yeah, so, and I'm still trying to train for the police unity tour, so I was like, I can't lose any more weight. So I was like, man, we're gonna cut it right there. But, um, yeah, eventually we'll bump them numbers up to 7. I mean, we're all at rookie numbers compared to Kane over here doing 8, 10. No, I think it ended up being like 10.5. Oh, because he broke it on day 11, but he didn't make it 11 days because, because he went to sleep without eating. So I think he did like 10 and a half days or something like that, or just over 10 days. Yeah, crazy.

That's wild.

All right, that's one consistent habit is, um, humor. Um, what is— what would be the second one?

Um, I think that still takes it back to, um, working out. Yeah, yeah, it's physical activity. Because yeah, for us, I mean, but in general, I think you would— I know, know that it'll help anybody because when we're working out, our body's releasing endorphins.

Yep.

Every single time. So do your, do yourself a favor and go work out. Nobody's saying you have to go lift a bunch of heavy weights.

No, it could be yoga. It could be—

yeah, you can go to yoga. You can go for a nice brisk walk, get some fresh air. Like that, that in itself is good for the soul. Yes, and green. Some people would be like, oh, some woo-woo shit. Nope, it's just, it's just good for you. It's good for you to get fresh air. Yeah, it's good for you to move your body. That's— we were made— we were not made to sit with our asses on the couch eating freaking Cheetos.

Yeah, like, I don't even like Cheetos.

You used to.

No, it was the hot lime.

The lime The hot lime Cheetos?

Yeah, regular Cheetos I was never into.

No.

Regular Cheetos are disgusting.

No, once in a while I'd get a wild hair up my butt in like middle school and get them. They sold them at like our morning break time.

In school, mine was actually Doritos. Cool Ranch.

Well, then they upgraded to the baked ones.

Yeah, I mean they're healthier, but they're disgusting.

The baked spicy ones though, those were actually pretty good.

Oh, what was the crutch? Garrett always, always got them. The Doritos? Famos. The Famos flavor. Famos. Flamin'? I don't know.

You're so white.

It was delicious. It was delicioso.

Or the ones that look like, um, tortilla chips but are like rolled up, kind of like Takis. Oh yeah, those taste so good but they're so bad for you. We haven't touched it. All of it is— they're all bad. We haven't touched those in I can't tell you how long.

And I wonder if they're gonna change now. I had to get off political, but I wonder if it's all going to change.

I mean, it'd be doing us a favor. Yeah, it'd be doing us a favor.

I mean, like, I will probably— I'm not gonna have them.

We won't lose any sleep over it because it's, it's something that we, we didn't even intentionally really like cut it out just because it's in our habits as it is and in our nature that we don't really eat junk food. Once in a while, yeah, like on a road trip or we go camping, and that's when we would get like chips and stuff, but that's— that was, you know, that's only once in a while, and we haven't— we haven't done that in a long time. Like, now our idea of chips, it's tortilla— tortilla chips.

Tortilla—

I can't even say it now. Tortilla chips.

Yeah.

And guac and fresh salsa.

Yep, exactly. Well, especially if it's Nana's salsa.

Oh, Nana's salsa is the best, especially when it's spicy. Yeah, well, what's funny is she doesn't like spicy, but she's the one who makes the salsa.

I don't know. So, and you call him— and you're calling me white?

Spiciness right here, says the guy that puts freaking ketchup on tamales.

I've never done that.

You put ketchup on something.

You know, this is your father. I don't know why you're now equating the two of us. It's kind of weird, just saying.

Well, you and Dad are, are a lot alike in a lot of ways. That's true, you know that. Um, no, but you've— you did something so white with Mexican food one time, and I was just like, what are you doing? Nope. Like, no, you definitely have. I'm gonna figure it out.

Yeah.

All right, I don't know.

We'll come back to you guys on that one.

Yeah, we'll update you on that one.

Yeah.

What was the— what's the whitest thing you've done with your Mexican food?

Um, Yeah, it's pretty good. Those two, without a doubt. Yeah, laughing and working out. Those are probably like the main two. Obviously there's a lot more, but those are like the, the biggest two.

Yeah, like action things. Yeah, action things. And then just, I, I think just surrounding, surrounding ourselves with our family.

Yeah, family, friends, like-minded people, all of the above. Yep. Do we think— oh, number 3: Do we think there are universal happiness habits, or are they highly individual? And where might there be overlap? Okay, this is a very good one.

No, so yeah, there was a reason I picked this question because there's a lot of people that are probably like, well, does everybody have to do this for happiness? Well, I like doing that. I, I like painting, or, you know, or I like playing chess. You're naming off some things that just are different and like hobby type things. One of the hobbies that I like is just making those bracelets. I got in— I got in a kick where I was making all these bracelets um, in jewelry making, but it's— it can be universal. Certain habits can be universal and others might be more unique to the person itself. So really, again, it's, it's, uh, I'll take it back to fitness. Fitness really, really contributes to your overall, overall happiness because when you do it, you feel more accomplished, you feel better about yourself. There's like a little bit of a glow in a person. I feel like after they're done working out, Always, even if it's something minimal.

I never feel upset at the end. No, I always feel accomplished and happy.

Yeah, there might be times I've gone in pissed off. Oh yeah, pissed off at the world, but after working out, I feel 133% better.

Always, every single time. The only bad workout's the workout that didn't happen. Exactly. Yeah. And then universal happiness, I'm gonna go with laughter. Yes. Again, I think our, our two, it can 100% be universal because Yeah, just everybody loves laughing. And then yes, things can be individual per person where some people like certain things, some people get happiness from certain things, others may not get happiness from those things. Yeah.

Um, I think of a third one because I feel like, well, we just need to have three. Yeah, but this one may not even be necessarily me grabbing your butt.

It brings happiness to me every single time, just saying.

Okay.

Yeah, I, I feel like that's gonna be for every couple too. That could be universal as well.

Well, yeah, I was thinking about grabbing your butt earlier today, and then I realized you weren't home, you were at work, and I couldn't grab it.

So you just gotta wait until I come home.

Yeah, what do I do? The first thing I'm like—

yeah, exactly, a kiss and an ass grab. There's happiness right there. Happiness. Try it out if you haven't done that in a while.

You should definitely do it. Okay, you know, I was talking about happiness. Have you seen Uh, one of those reels where there's this little girl trying to say happiness, but she— the mom's like, say happiness, and she's all, happy penis. No, happiness.

But again, that's happiness, that's laughter, that's fun, that's hilarious.

I got a good laugh. I know a lot of other people did too. And if anybody's seen it, they, they know what I'm talking about.

Exactly.

It's hilarious.

So one thing that you and I would recommend all of our listeners to do is Write down what makes you happy. Make a list, big and small, make a list of it. And then every single day, try to do one or one thing on that list. Once you get that down, make it two things on that list and do that for a while. And then take three things off that list and just do as many things as you can. Greg talked about this the other day. If you're part of our Facebook group and if you're not, you should definitely plug in and get part of the Final Percent Facebook group. It's free. It's fun. But he talked about is we got to get the negativity out. We got to be more positive. We need more positivity in our lives with all of this left-right BS going on. Like, let's just, let's just bring happiness and positivity to the world. So if you can do those daily habits that bring you happiness, you're going to end up being a happier person, and that's going to spread with everybody around you. They're all going to feel it, they're all going to realize it, and it's going to, it's going to force them to bring themselves up to the level that you're putting yourself at.

Yeah, no, I completely agree with that. Um, excuse me, I was laughing so hard earlier. Uh, yeah, no, exactly what— exactly what you said. You literally took all the words out of my mouth. Focusing more on, on the positive versus the negative, it's something I was actually thinking about Um, the other day I'm like, if we just stopped thinking about all the shitty things that are going on in our life and focus on the good things that are going on in our life, there's so much to be grateful for.

Oh yeah.

And the one way I suggest, if you're struggling with that kind of thought and you feel like you're constantly in a negative thought process, which one, it's in our nature. To think negatively and to always think the worst. Unfortunately, unfortunately, human nature, human nature.

I have 80, 80% of our thoughts on a daily basis are negative, negative. And then 90% of every single day's thoughts are repeated thoughts. Yeah, from the day before.

So one way I would say to learn how to start shifting that mindset from focusing on the negative, or removing the focus from the negative to the positive is practice gratitude. Either write it down, say it out loud, or tell— or tell— hold on— or tell somebody that you're grateful for them in your life. Reach out to them. Or bonus points, do all three.

All three.

All three. Practicing gratitude is something that I do every day. I include it into my journal, and it reminds me that you could literally be thankful for everything under the sun. There's like— there's literally days that one of the things that I'm grateful for— and I write three down every day is sunshine. I appreciate that. I'm grateful for the sunshine because it brings warmth. I like warmer weather. I don't dig the cold.

Um, we could be like our friends in Washington.

Yeah, they don't get it, and they don't see the sun very often, so I feel very sorry for them. Um, anyways, but the sunshine, my coffee, my family— it's just to name a few. But like, you could— it could be as, as, um, as big as I'm grateful to be alive.

That's true. And we're healthy right now.

Yeah, I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for my progress. I'm, you know, all those things. So, and if you want to go more than 3, go more than 3. Write down all the things on your mind that you're grateful for, because all that does is you're just putting that back out into the universe that, you know what, I'm, I'm so grateful for these things.

Yep, I agree. It's good. On that note, focus on your happiness. Get rid of the negativity. Create some habits that are going to allow you to focus on that happiness. Write the habits down, say those habits out loud, and tell other people that. And when you do that, you're going to get accountability back towards you. We love you guys. Hit the subscribe button, follow us, do that 5-star thing, do all those things that you know you need to do, that we need you to do. Do the thing.

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