From Addiction to Success: Bernard's Journey

All right, welcome back to Infinite Gold, growth and greatness, life, legacy, and laugh with the Goldners. We have the amazing Bernard Oh, we're going to need to redo this. I don't even know how to say your last name.

Kissoumbing?

Kissoumbing? No, Kissoumbing. Kissoumbing. Wow.

I butchered it too.

I think we're going to keep this going, but I like it. We call him the rapping salesman, AKA that's what he calls himself. And I love it because we were just talking actually before we got on and we went to our last Gamma event and we're just in the car and out of nowhere he just starts rapping and just the words are coming to his brain and I'm like, That's, that's awesome. But he's been the number one salesman for 18+ years, multiple dealerships he's been at. He's currently over at Ford. He created the sales program of helping the new salesmen sell cars and what to do, what not to do, everything that he's learned. It's amazing. He created— he wrote out a book. If you're in sales for anything, whether it's cars, Door to Door, whatever it is, it's titled Stop Selling— what?

I said airplanes. I don't know.

Hey, you probably could use it. You never know. I mean, we have talked about that private jet's coming. It's coming soon.

It's coming.

But the book is titled Stop Selling, Serve and Get Paid What You're Worth. It's awesome. The best part of everything is it hasn't just always come easy to him, and he passes on that info to anybody and everybody. He's now 18 years sober. He started a podcast that actually launches this Sunday. I take that back because of this recording, it's probably gonna be in the past.

I love it.

But jump on, take a look at it. It's called Sober Superstars. Uh, it's, it's awesome. He's telling his life story and he's also interviewing other people who are sober now, all the turmoil that they went through, the ups and downs. As many people know, it's not an easy task, but he doesn't sugarcoat things. He tells it how it is, and he's always going to tell it how it is. And again, Bernard, thank you for joining us today.

Thank you for having me, guys.

Of course, of course.

What up, what up?

So a lot of our listeners know that we're here to— we're here to have fun. And as you could tell from the intro, um, that's exactly what it is. We talk a lot about life, and we talk a lot about family, we talk a lot about legacy— all three things that we know you're very in tuned with as well. And then we talk about the Infinity Model, kind of like an overall picture. So we dive into the different pillars of, you know, personal, professional, vitality, and community. Today, professional is huge for you. You're an amazing salesman. And then the community part, the Sober Superstars, you're creating that community of it. And then also Infinite Serve, that's also coming out. So you're in a lot of different things, but your, your idea is to serve. And we love that about you. And we just kind of want you to tap into that and what came about, obviously the ups and downs of everything, but what that serve, when did that word come to play in your life?

I'd say that this, the word serve actually came probably 6, 7 years ago when I realized that I was very self-serving and self-focused, only going out for the grind, only going out for the money, and it wasn't really serving other people. And I realized it was an empty pursuit. It never really actually filled me. And with the month, the way the car business works, you know, you sell as many cars as you can, and then the end of the month, it's like, get back to zero. Do it all over again and sell as many cars as you can. And then at the end of the month, it's back to zero. And after winning number one over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, and just You know, making really good money from it and everything like that. It was filling out a different side of me that I enjoyed. Right. But it wasn't filling in a deeper inside of me. And God definitely used the car business to change my life. And this was one of the areas where it really transitioned really hard. I mean, it was crazy. You guys have all heard of Grant Cardone.

Yeah. Yeah.

I remember I started reading a bunch of closing techniques and all of these skill techniques to actually You know, find even better ways to just crush it in sales. No joke, Greg Cardone is a badass when it comes to sales, but yeah, just wanted to really crush it and everything like that. So I'm studying all these closes. I'm watching myself in the mirror. I'm actually recording myself, making sure that I mastered these things. And normally on a good month, I sell anywhere from 22 to 30 cars a month. Right. So that's a good month.

Pretty awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I'm studying all this and I'm like, yes, you know what? I'm absolutely going to crush it. I'm going to kill it this month. And guess how many I sold out?

3. Wow.

And God was literally like, look, I didn't put you in this position so that you could take advantage of people.

That's good.

I put you in this so that you could serve my people. And that hit me so hard, especially coming back, coming through as a person that was actually saved by God's grace from over 14 years of crystal meth addiction, and now I'm trying to take advantage of people. It just— something was off. And he definitely needed to do a chiropractic realignment for me. And it was one of those things where it was like, snap bone, listen up.

Yeah.

Yeah. And for me, a 2-car month, that's a baseball bat to the face. Snap bone. That's like, yo, what are you doing?

What just happened?

That hurts.

Exactly. Because I I remember I'm telling Jamie, I'm like, oh, I'm going to kill it. I'm going to, I couldn't get anything to close. And it's not from the techniques, guys. Don't get it twisted. Don't get it twisted. Grant Cardone stuff is really good, but if I'm not resonating, something's off and out of alignment with me. It doesn't matter what lines you use. It doesn't matter what things you say.

People read it.

People can feel it. That just ends up becoming manipulation. And if you get really comfortable with manipulating, sure. You, you'll win in manipulation.

You don't wanna do it like that. And you figured that out.

Yeah. Well, no, God didn't even give me a chance to figure it out. He was like, take that wrong direction.

Right at the knees.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. Okay. Loud and loud and clear. Loud and clear. Got it. Got it. And I realized what, for me, overcoming objections wasn't to convince somebody to do something that they weren't wanting to do. It was actually to help them through roadblocks that they were having to get to a decision of something that they really needed to do. So that's what I used overcoming objections for and the skills and techniques and stuff like that to help them make the right and best decision for them. And as long as I was actually serving them and I knew that I was serving their best interest, I didn't have a problem utilizing those skills and techniques. To push them over the edge to make a decision and to make a decision now, because closing happens now, especially in cars. It's like, you know, the statistic is if they leave, you've got a 20% chance of ever getting them back in the door. So it was always about a now close. And a lot of times some of the objections were silly and it was fear-based and it was not having the right information to actually make the right decision. So it was just Finding ways to communicate that in a way that would be like, oh, absolutely right, let's do this.

Makes sense. You talked about the objections part and like the roadblocks. I know what you've gone through in your past, there was probably a ton of roadblocks.

Oh geez.

Yeah. Yeah. What is, what would be like the number one roadblock that you see the majority of people, when they get into like car sales? And because I feel like at like the younger kids, sometimes they get that, oh, I can go sell, you know, 15 cars and I can get my Lamborghini. I could get this, I could get that. What do you feel is like that number one roadblock for people that are just getting into the business that, that are trying to, trying to get to where, let's just say you are, because they see that. Absolute laziness. Shiny object.

Ooh. Laziness. I see it all the time.

And I wouldn't have thought that. I would've expected they would come in hard charging, like, let's do work.

The problem with the car business is there is a lot of dead space. Yes. Right?

If I understand, I could speak on that too. Mm-hmm. Because I used to work for a dealership as well. I was a receptionist, but I saw it coming in when we had new salesmen that were these young guys thinking, oh, I'm gonna sell a bunch of cars this month. And then I'm going to drive off the lot with the most expensive one we have, you know? Right. And it was the complete opposite. They're like, shit, I got to work harder for this.

Right. Like it was, it's a lot harder, especially in the beginning, because not only that, they've got to learn the processes, they've got to learn the closing techniques, they've got to learn the greeting, they've got to learn the cars, they've got to learn everything, how to even run the system to do the follow-ups and all these different techniques and processes that need to be learned at first. And The glamour is really cool, right? Like, it's like, oh yeah, that guy makes a lot of money. I heard he makes like this much money, blah, blah, blah, blah. Look at the car he drives. Look at the suit he wears, et cetera, et cetera. And it looks glamorous from the outside. And then all of a sudden you get put in a position that really doesn't have much micromanagement. So if you don't have the grit already within you and the resilience already placed within you, you're not, it's not going to be a place for you. You know what I mean? And the reason why it was so different for me too was, look, I was, was a 14-year crystal meth addict. I was 6 days sober and I applied to 43 different places in a matter of 3 days looking just for any place to hire me. Like any place, I didn't care. I just wanted to work so that I could stay here and start living this life of freedom from addiction. Right. And I didn't care. Like I applied to McDonald's, I applied to King Soopers. I applied to every single— actually, I walked to the little mall strip that was like right next to where I was staying, my cousin's basement. Right. And I walked there and I applied to every single store. It didn't matter what it was, but nobody gave me a chance. Probably because I also put previous job, drug dealer/drug money collector on every application. I wasn't trying to lie anymore.

You were honest.

No, I was trying to turn a leaf. Shut you down. No, I was trying to turn a leaf. I wasn't trying to lie anymore. Like, seriously. And so I was like, okay, let's do this right. Uh, ever been arrested? Yes. For what? Stealing a car. Look, I've been involved in all the drug stuff and I've never actually got in trouble for any of it. The only thing I ever got in trouble for was stealing a car. And literally, like, God's so funny that I went from dealing drugs and stealing cars to now dealing cars. The comedy is insane.

The irony just comes full circle.

Yeah, but, um, right in your story, right?

And I wasn't even— I wasn't even trying to steal the car, be honest. Like, truth be told, I just needed to get from Edison to Jersey City to go pick up so I could do something. That was it. I wasn't even trying. I wasn't even trying. I told the cop that. I was like, I'm just borrowing this.

And they just laughed at you, huh?

Yeah, of course. I mean, they had the guns drawn and everything like that. And here's the craziest part. Guess where I stole it from? And please don't, don't get insulted when I say this. A Dunkin' Donuts. I stole it from a Dunkin' Donuts. Do you know how many cops were already there that I didn't notice was there? Oh my God. We dropped the jet out of it. 3 cops were coming in. That's how high I was. That's how ridiculous it was.

Those weren't your finer days.

No, not at all. There was no finer moments than that. My God. And then, and then we got pulled over and I'm sitting there like all smooth talking. I wasn't the driver though. I was in the passenger. I even pulled out the registration of whosever car it was and I'm handing it over and everything like that. And we would have been fine except the guy came running out of the Dunkin' Donuts and was like, that's my car. Guns got drawn. We got pulled out and we went to jail.

And now you sell cars.

And now I sell cars. Go figure. But yeah, so, so that was the thing. That was the thing, right? Like I, I applied to 43 different places and nobody would hire me. So when the car dealership gave me a shot, I wasn't going to mess around. Like, I mean, I dove into everything. Like I took home all the brochures. I was so happy. 43 different places in 3 days of applying to every place that just nobody even gave me a shot. Yeah, this place was giving me a shot. I took all the brochures. I'm like studying everything I possibly can before my first day of work. So I came in with a totally different, like, motivation, totally different position. And yeah, I put into work and it took about 7 months before it finally clicked. And, uh, for the first 7 months, all I did was watch all the top salespeople. Asked them for help, and just sat there and listened and everything like that. And some of the stuff that they did was definitely questionable. I didn't take those on. But I took on the ones that I felt resonated with me. And in the beginning, there was a lot that I did compromise with, in the sense of integrity. But like I said, God used the car business to literally change my life. So those kinds of situations where if I went the wrong direction, I knew deep down something felt off.

Right.

And it wasn't something that the money could buy. So there was always this redirect, this redirect, this redirect that helped shape who I am today, 18 years later.

What an incredible story. It literally is a prime example that you can change your life when you're down in the dumps. That's wild. And it all started with making a choice. So proud of you, B. You're an incredible human being and I feel so blessed to know you.

Likewise for both of you. You guys are golden.

See what you did there?

I, yeah, I mispronounced your last name like you do mine.

It's, you know, it happens. But I like how you, you mentioned that cuz that was gonna be my next question is, so what are 3 golden nuggets from the book of yours that you would recommend to the new salesman, to the new guy trying to, get his feet wet and, you know, he's got 7 months of, you know, working until he can get to anywhere. And what are those 3 golden nuggets you'd provide to him?

Nice. Okay. So I'm actually like scanning through the book in my head right now. Okay. So first golden nugget, like I just mentioned over here, like I, I literally immersed myself in all the information immersed. I sucked it all up, tried to study as much as I possibly could, cuz I built a confidence, right? That you would not normally have if you don't. And a lot of times they, they did provide this basic training for you, but if you just nonchalantly do the training without really diving into it or without expanding even further to try to find as much information as you can, then you're only going to have a limited aspect of initial confidence in something that you have no clue what you're doing, especially for the newbies. Right. And it's not even just the newbies. This is, this can go out to all the people that have been doing this for a long time. Stay up to date with the information. A lot of these people don't care anymore, right? Or they pay somebody else to do the testing for them and everything like that. And it's like, you're, you're now becoming outdated and you're not becoming efficient and you're not really serving your customer to the capability that you can if you only have limited knowledge. So definitely immerse yourself into that. Another one is don't jump on the roller coaster. And what I mean by that is the roller coaster of good months, bad months, good days, bad days. A lot of times people literally change. It's like change the barometer. Don't make selling a car the barometer of whether or not you have a good day or a bad day, because unless you're really that good and unless you're capable of grinding at 110% every single day, day in, day out, as if you had no problems outside of your home, outside of your work, I mean, or anything like that, literally you will burn out. Here's the thing. Focus on coming in and doing your best, putting a smile on people's faces, serving others. One of the biggest things that I tell salesmen right now is if you're having a long stretch of you haven't sold a car in a while, go help your fellow salesmen for no half deal, for no ask, for nothing. Just go help them. Go serve your managers. Go do something that'll actually shift everything about you. And so that, you know, cause we have this term called snake bit. After a while, you just keep getting nos and nos and nos. All of a sudden you feel like you're poisoned and it's called snake bit. Right. And it's like hard, hard, hard to get out of that. And they always say that the best time to sell a car is right after you just sold one because your energy's all the way up and everything like that. So this is just a shift of energy. Go serve somebody else. Yeah. And then the question. The thing is though, on that second nugget is don't focus on the car deal. Focus on the serving others, putting a smile on everybody's face at the dealership, everybody else. You know what I mean? And when you talk to a customer, really, really just focus on really caring about them, serving them, helping them with their needs. Because the truth is you do that and that be your focus. One, you're going to be a happier person. Two, you're going to sell so many more cars.

Oh yeah.

I mean, consistently, it's just, it's a snowball effect of that joy, of that happiness, of that serving and everything like that. I mean, it gets to the point where you're literally just having a blast taking care of customers. Next thing you know, you're doing paperwork and they're like, did I just buy a car?

Yep.

You did.

Enjoy. It's like, well, let's get a quick, let's get a quick photo. Right. I see your photos.

Let's get a quick photo. We do photos all the time. We post them and everything like that. And then I'll even do like. Quick testimonials, I'll be like, are you camera shy? They'll be like, nope. I'll be like, okay, good. Let's go. So, and then it's smart. And then the third nugget is that make it an amazing experience, right? Like take the time to take the photos. You know, they just spent a lot of money with you, make it an amazing memorable experience. And what better to memorialize the whole situation than by taking pictures? Like I take all these pictures with them, then I post it. Then I tag them, then I send it to them with a big thank you and everything like that. And so all of that makes it so much more of a memorable experience. That's awesome. So there's, there's 3. I could keep going though.

I know you can.

There's 3.

I had, I had to stop you. I was like, we can have multiple podcasts on just that. Yeah.

You've been sharing all the nuggets before they read your book.

Right. You know what? I don't care. As long as it helps somebody and lifts them up and helps them position themselves to a better way. Hey.

Let's go. Awesome. Uh, next question I wanna lead into is what are you most passionate about in your field and why?

Which field?

Well, let's say, uh, in, in all of them. In all of them.

So car business, your car business, influencer, influencer, coaching. Yeah.

Wrapping.

All three.

Okay.

Author.

Shoot. Actually, you know what? It's the same thing on all of them. Okay. Just literally helping somebody. That's the most— that's what I'm most passionate about. Because you know what? I've been the recipient of being helped so much to the point where I am free. Right? Like, my cousin didn't have to take me in 18 years ago. Yeah. But if he didn't, I'd probably be dead or in jail. But he did. Right? So if I can give even a portion of that back and help somebody. It doesn't even have to be as drastic of a transition as mine has been blessed with.

Right.

Yeah. But even that little bit. So that is probably what I'm most passionate about in all of it. And it's funny because my biggest struggle is also having to battle my inner demons and my ego of self-serving, right?

Because I'm[No speech] Share the wealth. You share the wealth.

Every awesome thing I get to do for somebody else has become a deeper pleasure and a deeper joy for me than anything I've ever really truly experienced. So God's showing me the difference. Now don't get it twisted. I still get caught in it. Yeah, we all definitely still get caught in it. I want the new microphone.

And how much is that?

I want the new cameras. Just like, well, I'm not that much into cars. I'm not that much into cars. Go figure, because I've been spoiled with it. So I don't really like, you know what I mean? Like me and Jamie get a new car every year. Like, that's insane. So we don't. The car thing doesn't move me anymore. I don't get excited about it. You know what I mean? Like, I'll even get a new version of the same car that I bought as long as I like it. And I'm so used to it and I'm just like, ooh, I really like that one. I'm just going to keep with that one. Yeah.

Nick? Well, well, I forgot where I read it, but basically it's just, it's you're buying something and if you're buying a materialistic thing, you're not going to like, you're not going to love it. In a week, in 2 weeks, in 3 weeks. It's just gonna be something that you do, especially like a car. Like you just drive it. Momentarily. Like it, it, it's, it's, it's a momentarily thing. So it's one of those things that is gonna move down. But if you're living your life to serve others, that just continues and continues. That continues. And especially like, for example, you, when you go and you coach these younger guys or even older guys that have been in the business for a while and you hear from them that their next month they just doubled their sales or tripled their sales or something like that. Like, that feels so much, so much better than anything.

Well, it's no joke. It's no joke. There's actually this girl, Deanna, that's at our dealership. And she came from— she came from the food industry. Okay. And I knew from the beginning that she was going to be a superstar. This was 2 years ago. I knew from the beginning because she had like She had the heart of service that I literally have to work through all of my demons and fight so hard just to pretend to almost be. Yeah. And she's already there naturally. Right. And so I told her from the beginning, I was like, you are literally going to take over by storm. All you need to do is learn the skillset and break through some of the fear factors and you will crush it at this. And it took about a year and a half, but But then it finally clicked and she broke through the fear factors and stuff like that. She went from, she went from a flat pay and finally jumped into the scary commission-only pay.

That's awesome.

And she's literally triple quadrupled her breaking through the fears. And she, I was like, I was like, so what's different? She was like, nothing. I was like, no, no, no, everything. Because now you're attracting deals. You're no longer repelling them from all the fear that And she was just, yeah. And the universe definitely followed through and supported her decision to jump into that. You know what I mean? To jump into that scary new world. It was actually the same world. Right. But still just the fear factors that were holding it back. And, and it was funny because there were some obvious deals that should have just been deals. But she was like, I don't understand, B, I don't understand what happened. And I was like, literally everything inside you is repelling him. So it has nothing to do with you. It just has to do with your fear.

And she finally got clarity.

Yeah. And now she's just, just crushing it now. And I love it. Like, absolutely love it. And the best part about it is not only is she crushing it, she is absolutely loved by everyone. Like, you can't even hate on her being so good because she is so sweet. She's so precious. She's so awesome. Yeah, I, I absolutely love her. She's, she's great.

That's cool.

Wow. I just got a text that says, hey, can you create an Apple account for Sober Superstars? There it is. I guess I gotta do an Apple account. I don't even know where do I create an Apple account for that?

Uh, you have to use a new email address at Apple.

Okay. I gotta, I gotta Sober Superstars Gmail.

There you go. Cool. Well, since, since you brought it up, we, we might as well move into that. So what got you? Started into wanting to start Sober Superstars?

So Sober Superstars, the real reason I did it is because I have one of my closest friends who I just talked to yesterday actually who is still struggling with addiction today and I've taken him in, you know, I've tried sharing every aspect of everything I possibly could and everything I've learned and, you know, like Everything, everything. And there's just no freedom. Right. And I was, so my ego back then was like, look, you should just do what I tell you to do. And you'll, right. And what I realized was, I don't have it. I don't have what it takes, or I don't have what it is that's going to help them. So what I did was I was like, You know what I need to do? I need to go out there and find all the different keys to freedom. And so that was literally the whole source of Sober Superstars. I wanted to find people that are absolutely crushing it. That's good in sobriety. Hence the sober superstar, not, not just somebody that's sober, but an absolute superstar being sober. Right. And I want to find out what it is that they're doing, or what it is that they did, or what keys to freedom that they discover during their journey, so that I could gather all of that and share it with everybody that's struggling with addiction. That was the birthplace of Sober Superstars.

Wow. I even love the story behind how you gave it the title, that they're not just sober, but they're sober superstars. They're making their sober life so much better. Right. It just, gosh, I feel like I'm, I'm struggling how to describe, but I think you get what I mean. Um, how they just have taken it up a notch, if you will. They've gone up exponentially in the right direction and they're just running with it.

Yeah. Cuz I mean, and that's the one thing too, right? Like we talk about it a lot on the podcast is What's after sobriety? Right? Because if you're just cycling with sobriety over and over again, I'd rather get high. Like, honestly. But if you're absolutely used, that same grit and that same power that you had to go get whatever drug— like, one thing that we would talk about again is, for example, if I was still addicted today, right? Let's just say I was still going through my addictions. and I ran out of drugs, what would stop me from getting drugs right now? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing, Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, Nothing. Nope. Right. I would be able to utilize whatever I had in me to go get drugs, and I would get it 100%. Now imagine using that same grit into something positive, into something powerful. Literally, your life can skyrocket. I'm like, addicts are so powerful. It's true. Powerful.

You're like, what now?

Imagine you use that power to become a sober superstar, right? For everybody that's just on their start of journey to sobriety, you're a sober star because there's a light in you that's ready to shine. But let's explode that and become a supernova. Let's become a sober superstar for anybody that's struggling through addiction. Yeah.

So that's, that's the basis. You set the example for the people that are just beginning their sobriety and are able to carry the torch, if you will, and be like, hey, there's, there's a better life outside of the addiction. Like, it's gonna get better. It's not easy right now, but it's gonna get better. We get through it together.

And it's gonna get amazing.

Amazing.

Not even just better. Yeah. Like, absolutely fantabulous. It's not just, it's not just better. It's amazing. Like, the freedom is amazing. The outcomes are amazing. So I bring in a lot of people that are living amazing lives now that know for a fact that it wouldn't have happened if they stayed trapped in addiction. And the awesome thing is there's so many different keys to freedom, so many different things that these people went through that I didn't go through in discovering their freedom. So now I feel like, just like with you guys gathering all these gold nuggets, I'm gathering keys to freedom so that I could be like, here's the master keys.

Because it's not—

you know which one actually works. Yeah. Figure out which one actually works for you or try all of them. Yeah. Until you finally unlock who you truly are and become free from the addictions that you're suffering under and then shine like a sober superstar that I already know you are.

That's awesome. Well, obviously we've already talked about, and you just mentioned it, where it's not a one-stop shop and one thing not gonna work for another person. And sometimes they have to go through the tribulations themselves and even find it out themselves what's gonna work. But since we're on the topic of golden nuggets, what are 3 golden nuggets that you would recommend to somebody who may be going through, let's just say that rollercoaster ride that you just mentioned? Where they are getting sober and then they're going back and then they're getting sober and going back. What are like, let's say 3 golden nuggets you'd recommend them try out?

Dang. Okay. 3 golden nuggets on, so I'll share my keys to freedom.

I like it.

Isn't that, that way it, you know? Yep. Number 1, be willing to surrender everything you thought before, everything you think you know, because obviously everything you did know is what led you to currently where you're at. Be willing to take on new knowledge and new information and delete all your old nonsense. Now, you might need it. You'll be able to bring some of them back. You know what I mean? It's not like you're losing yourself, but you need to lose the majority of yourself because the majority of yourself is still— is now trapped in this addiction. So be willing to surrender all of it. Because if you're not, then you're just going to be battling every great idea that's being brought to you for this freedom, every great opportunity or every great, like, thought concept that you could utilize to find your freedom, you're going to argue unless you're willing to surrender and be like, you know what, I've lived my life, look what it's gotten me. I need something different. Let me take that on. So that's number one.

Let go of the number two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Like, let go, let go. Just let it go. You know, I promise you'll be able to come back to you. Yes. Right. And you'll be able to see all the magic that was always in you that all of a sudden got stifled by the addiction.

I love that part.

I love that part. Yeah. You're not going to lose yourself.

Yes. I like that.

You could always come back. Like, for example, for me, I had to surrender music. I didn't do music for 4 years and I was doing music day in, day out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, and I had to let it go completely. Completely. I left my studio behind. I left everything behind.

That's big.

That's big. Yeah. And that was hard for me. That was, that was real hard for me. Number 2, shout it out loud that you are trying to get sober. Shout it out loud that you are on your path to getting sober. The reason why is now all of a sudden you have so much accountability. Yeah. You have so many people. If you put it out there, people know So then you can't sit there and play dumb, right? Like, and everybody around you knows, you know what I mean? If you're somebody struggling with alcohol or somebody struggling with any kind of drugs and you're hiding it in the dark and nobody knows about it, you're not going to make it out. Promise you. Tell everyone. Tell everyone, hey, listen, I'm struggling with this because you know what? If you're struggling with alcohol and you don't tell nobody and then you go out with a bunch of friends, Of course they're gonna be like, hey, have a drink with me.

Have a drink.

Exactly. Yeah.

We're all doing shots. You might as well do one.

Yeah. The crazy thing is the people that really, really care about you and love you, and if you actually authentically tell them your situation and what you're trying to achieve. Yeah. The right people that you surround yourself with, if you told them, hey, listen, I'm not wanting to drink anymore. It's ruining my life. It's absolutely destroying me. Right. If they ask you to have a drink or try to push you, wrong people.

They're not your friend.

No people. Yep. Right. But if they are like, you know, and the people that are the right people, and if you tell that to, they'll be the ones to make sure that, oh, wait a second. Well, didn't you say you wasn't going to have a drink? Yeah.

Did you say no? Call you out.

Say no.

Hey, no to the fries.

Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah. Look at this face, dude. You look so much leaner, dude.

You look good. I'm telling you.

Yeah.

I mean, I was 253 in Seattle. 253 in Seattle. I woke up at 221 today.

So what is that? 8 months? 30 pounds in 8 months? Yeah. But here's the thing.

The majority of it happened this last— no, no, no. So I got stuck at about 231, 235 in that range. I got stuck. That's where I was at the Gamma Group, right? Like when we did the Gamma Group and I was stuck there. But then this whole No Fries thing kind of changed everything. You know, I was like, I realized my standards weren't really standards that I needed to be at, right? Like they were kind of like substandards.

Yeah. Step it up.

Yeah. So this next level has been insane. I have been shedding weight and you know what? I can't wait. Like, On the cruise, I will be under 200.

I'm stoked for you.

I'm excited. The last time I was under 200 pounds was when I was born. I was 198.

Just a couple of years ago.

Yeah. No. Yeah, I was 198 when I was born. I was a big baby.

My gosh.

Poor mom.

You said it, not me.

Dude, that's great. So third nugget. Yes. And most important nugget. Get away from the people that are still doing it.

I had a feeling that's going to be one of them.

Get away from the people that are still doing it. They may be your closest friends. They may be people you love. Get away from the people that are still doing it. You won't find freedom if you start hanging around with them. It's just not going to happen.

So let me ask you a question, a follow-up to it, and a hard one. How do you do that? They're all you know. And in your mind you think they're your best friend. So how do we do that? I left Jersey and that's what I physically— and that's what I, that's what I've heard people recommend is you, you, you just have to leave.

Yep. I left Jersey with $50 in my pocket and about $13,000 of debt. Yeah. $50 in my pocket. Got hired, took a, rested for 6 days, stayed at stayed at this guy's house. Shout out to Stephen Duncan, by the way, who was willing to take me in. Thank goodness he was in the military beforehand. And they told him my situation. And I was like, oh my God, who is this amazing man that he's willing to take me in knowing my whole situation? Meanwhile, he loved the God that I love, right? Not only that, he also said, if he acts up, I'll just shoot him.

No big deal, right?

Right.

He's, he's learned a few tools. Yeah.

Yeah. Honestly, I just slept. I slept for 6 days. I crashed. And the scariest part about the addiction cycle was after that 6-day crash, right? If I wake up and I don't have any drugs, I'm willing to kill somebody for drugs. Like, that's how bad it is. The withdrawals are so bad. The bloody stools, the stomachaches, the throwing up, the feeling sick, the nausea, the all of it, right? The emotional depression. I mean, it slams down. But this time around, when I came out here, my cousin and all the friends would pray over me even while I was half asleep. I wanted to be left alone, but I was like, hey, surrender. So fine, you want to pray over me? And then in the middle of the night, I was like, God, look, I don't know if you exist. I have no clue. But if you do, you're going to need to take this from me. Because if you don't, I'm going back to Jersey and I'm off. It myself. I'm done. But I did say, look, if you do take this from me, I will surrender my life to you. And on that 7th day, literally the whole room was so white, like I couldn't even see anything. So I was saved by a grace and a miracle that I still don't fully understand today, except I know that I'm blessed. And it was literally peeled out of me to the point where I knew at that moment that I was free. And I've been free ever since.

Dude, he just knew that you were and are so needed and necessary. So incredibly needed and necessary. I can't, I'm just at a loss for words. That's a wild story. I feel like my eyes are getting watery right now just after you telling that.

I—

well, we—

you put the wow.

Oh yeah. Well, we appreciate you going through that because then now we get to see you and we've got to meet you and learn everything that you do have to offer everybody. Like, just everything we've learned from you already has just been amazing, and we are super appreciative of you, your wife, your family, and everything. And it's, it's been amazing just this past— not even a year— getting to know each other. It's been awesome.

I feel like we've known you forever.

And it'll be like, wow, man, this community just fosters that, right? Like, it's so good. So good.

Well, let me ask you about that. How has community now supercharged everything that you're doing and everything that you want to do?

Well, here's the thing. Biggest impact on this community and everything like that is, right? Like I've been a grinder and a hustler. My wife was an ex-heroin addict as well, and she was struggling through addiction as well. And when we came together, I mean, You know, we loved each other. God put us together. But we've always had a tumultuous relationship. We had all of our baggage that we carried along with it. And it always broke a connection somewhere. Right? So here I am grinding it and doing my own thing. Here she is grinding it and doing her own thing. And we live together and have kids together. And it was, you know, From the outside looking in, did we have a great marriage? Yeah, it looked good. But from the inside, there was things that were missing that we didn't even understand were missing. We knew something was off, but we didn't know how to fix it. We didn't know how to really help reshape it. And then we have Craig and Meredith, we have Greg and Kayla. Now we have people like you who just are such great examples of it. And then we're all willing to share our garbage.

Yep.

Yes. Right. Like, we're all willing to authentically, openly share our garbage and then create standards with each other. That's no joke. The same standard that's making my face go is making my marriage go. And it's absolutely amazing, right? Like, it's amazing. And don't get it twisted, we fight a lot. We fight a lot. But now we're learning new methods and things of how to navigate that. Not only that, freaking Craig and Meredith are helping us out so big. That shout out to Craig and Meredith, Infinite Relationships, Road of Life, crushing it on helping marriages become so much better. It doesn't even matter if you don't have marital problems, like they will increase the joy, the fun, the connectivity, having similar goals. My gosh, it's, it's just been amazing.

They're just absolutely fabulous. We highly recommend them as well. Yeah. Agreed.

Can confirm.

Yeah.

Can confirm. And yeah, so this community has definitely like changed my marriage.

So I love that for you guys.

I mean, just from that piece alone, you know what I mean? That's everything. Like Greg said earlier today, you know, you could be crushing it at work. But if it's bad at home, you ain't winning, bro. You just ain't. Now, if it's awesome at home and you're doing horrible at work or your professional life and you're losing, you have an amazing life.

But then he said, you can, you can work on that, right?

That's always, yeah. Like, and it's so funny because me and Jamie are now looking at each other like, you know what? It doesn't matter if we lose everything. If I got her and the kids, I'd kill us. Literally. We're going to build an empire together, no matter what. Right? Especially if we're together. And we can face any one of the situations together. And it's actually really crazy now, because even the communication has shot up through so much that it's like, instead of me feeling a sort of certain way, if money's going down or shifting or whatever, and all those different things, it's like, no, no, no, we got this together. And we're both navigating it through together. So instead of me having to be like, hey, we're cutting it down, like, you know what I mean? We're cutting the spending down this month, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that creates tension. Well, that's because I'm not sitting there communicating everything else, right? Like that's actually going on. Because if I am, I won't even have to tell her that. And she's already got my back in handling it. She's already handling business for me, with me. And it's so different. So that's one thing. And all the people, come on, meeting you guys, meeting everyone in this community, it's been insane. It's been insane. One of my closest right now is Robin. I love that dude, man. He is ridiculous. Do you realize that he just— so tonight was Ever's birthday. Party. Yeah. And he gave her a huge surprise because they weren't going on the cruise.

Right?

Yeah. And his daughter Nicole, who's 13, is going on the cruise. So he literally bought her a piece of luggage and was like, and when they opened the luggage, they were like, want to cruise with us?

That is—

and he bought her her ticket.

Oh my heart. Oh my gosh, bro.

Like, what?

Yeah, we've got givers in our community. We, we don't have a giving problem, that's for dang sure.

No, definitely not. So yes. Oh my gosh, who's hanging out with Nicole and everything like that? And just— it's not like he got a small try. Oh my gosh, like, how sick is that? That's just so sick. Wow.

Yeah, see, look at the incredible people we've met and have in our lives now. I literally— I couldn't imagine it any other way.

No, me neither.

It's truly amazing. It really is.

Me neither.

We found our people.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, definitely. And Colorado coming up, that's gonna be insane.

I'm so stoked.

Yeah, that's gonna be awesome. So obviously I think we can go for like hours and you have so much. So if anything, we're just gonna have to bring him back on here.

That's for sure. He's definitely coming back on for another episode.

But I got a question for you. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Question we like to ask people. Just to see where they're at now and where they plan to be?

Realistically, go figure, I'm gonna say realistically, and this is gonna be so audacious. Watch this.

I like it.

Realistically, all of us will be having our junior masterminds serving thousands of people, literally changing lives, creating multiple mini communities like this where people could grow with each other. I will definitely be On stage with Tony Robbins.

Yes, you will.

Yes, you will. Greg Kimball.

Yep.

Yes. We and Anthony Goldner.

Let's go.

Let's go. Interesting people's lives. And, um, you know, Sober Superstars will, will have a, we'll have homes for people that are struggling with addiction. That's cool. And create creative centers. Where they could actually, like, one of the biggest things for me with the Keys to Freedom too was still back in my creativity, was utilizing that in my creativity. So creating creative centers with that and then also creating an app for people that are struggling with addiction to find freedom with it, like daily activities and CBAs that I love, you know what I mean? So that they're not just winging their journey through sobriety. It's actually guided things like what books to read, what everything like that on, on a, and it's going to be profile-based. So depending on whether or not somebody's an uppers-based or downers-based and stuff like that. So that it really taps into who they are and, and then finding them, helping them find their path to sobriety and then giving them, you know, even small, like for some people like myself, give me 20 tasks and let's get started. Yeah. For some people that would be so overwhelming. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe even just one.

Yeah.

That they can do daily. Right. So yeah, an app and stuff like that. And then literally traveling the world, serving others. And no longer battling with the self-serving factor.

You got this, brother. You're, you're growing so much. I, we see it already and we, we love it. Like you, You're a beacon of hope for others, bro. And you're definitely one that people can look at and be like, okay, I'm in the shoes that he was in and looking at him, I could totally get out of it. I could totally move on and I can be where I know I need to be. So 100% needed, necessary, and you're doing big, amazing things and we appreciate it.

Thank you. Yeah. Like Greg said, you could be one of two things, an example or a warning. Yep. And I definitely want to be an example.

And you are. You definitely are, buddy.

Exactly. Also a warning.

Just kidding. The past. The past is the warning.

Don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't do those things. Don't do that. Don't do that. Do what I'm doing now.

Yeah. Right.

Don't do that.

That's awesome.

Well, we'd like to thank you, Bernard, for being on with us. We, we super appreciate it and We can't wait to see you and I'll see you in 2 weeks.

Oh yes, let's go, Captain Buffalo. Let's go. Let's go.

Shoot. But we love you and, uh, we'll see you soon.

Oh, real quick. Yes.

Wait.

Yeah. I know he deleted your last one and I'm putting this on camera. Yeah. But I need the new, I need the new one. I need the new one by Sunday. I wanna hear this. I'm like dying to hear this. Yes. Yeah. I was actually gonna ask you today, I was gonna be like, where's my music?

I knew you would be too. I was like, right, when I first started messing around with it on Friday, one, I was still having technical issues. Story of my life.

That's me. I'm not, I'm not tech savvy. But hey, let's put it this way, I'll put the kids to bed and then she'll have some time to do it. Yeah.

Oh no, I'll, I'll get back in, uh, back into it and re-record it for you. But yeah, I know that. And I also, I was struggling with my creativity at that moment in time. And so, but when I sat down to do it today, it just came out and I was like, oh. But in my head, while not being in front of the computer and recording it, I, um, I was playing around with it in my head cuz I kind of remembered what the beat sounded like. So I kind of did a lot of humming this weekend and it kind of got my gears going. And then I was able to step into my creativity zone sitting here. And just started— I, I was listening, then I started writing, and I was like humming, and then I started singing, and I'm like, okay, cool. So nice.

Yeah, nice. And then he deleted it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, it's all meant to be. It's all meant—

that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. So I told him, I'm like, it's meant to be. As frustrated as I was, I'm like, no, the magic still clicked the button. I'm like, it's okay, babe. I'm frustrated, but I know you didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident. It happened for me. So now when I go to re-record it, there's gonna be— it's going to be more to it, and it's going to be that much more like— I'm just gonna say golden. It's gonna be that much more gold.

I'm excited. It's just gonna be magic. It's just gonna be absolute magic. So I can't wait.

I'm super stoked. This is gonna be like literally the first ever like recording I've ever done, so Cherry Pop.

Let's go, because I want to rap on it already. I want to rap on it already. I want to be like, boom, let's go. And then we'll release it right away too as a single.

Yes, dude, I'm stoked. I can't wait.

All right, let's do it.

All right, guys, have a great night.

All right, take care. Love you. Love you guys.

Bye.