Andy talks with Dr. Chinna Dua about raising two daughters to think for themselves rather than follow a script. He discusses letting kids find their own path and what it means to parent without imposing rigid values.
Andy, I had another question for you. You know, you've raced two lovely daughters and they're doing some amazing work, both of them. What did they say? It takes a village to raise a child. What are your. And I know there are no tips for parenting. There's no manual for parenting. I've got two lovely daughters of my own. So tell us and tell everybody who's watching what are. What, what. What did you do to raise your kids with such lovely values? We'd love to learn from you.
Okay, thanks for the compliment. If you think that I have raised two beautiful children, I should say we have raised two beautiful children. I must add that when we decided to have children, we were very sure that we are going to have two, irrespective of what the sex of the children will be, whether they are two girls, two boys, or one girl, one boy. Sex did not matter to us. The gender of the children. Child just did not matter to us. And I won't say that we raised our children. Girls like boys. No, girls are girls, but boys are boys. And we have raised them to be independent thinkers. And as a parent, what I feel is, especially, I would say a lot of influence came in from my husband. He's. He's. His thought process is very different from mine. I would say that I was quite a prude and my values of morality, as well as I used to be judgmental. Those things kind of gradually changed. Having been married to such a person and after having interacted with him, I. It definitely did open my mind. So he, he taught me that, you know, we don't have to be. We certainly don't. It's not our call that we, it's not our duty to be hypocrites in front of our children. Like have different values for ourselves and different for the children. Certainly not. So we have been ourselves in front of the children, and today they feel absolutely free. They are able to interact with us at one to one level and they're able to talk about anything on earth with us. You know, there are no holes barred at all. And we don't judge them and neither do they judge us. Okay. Okay. And apart from that, I would say the second thing is that we never believed in programming both of us. Like, I'm a doctor and I know a whole lot of my doctor friends who would say that. Dr. Banana, thankfully, both of us thought alike. He said, no, whatever the child wants to be. Now, if I had pushed them to become doctors, they, both of them did not have a bent of mind towards science as well as mathematics. So it would have been a stress on them and it would have been a bigger stress on me too, you know, and it's their life and they should be able to do what they feel like, you know, Like I remember when we had gone for my younger one's graduation to the US and the dean said that we create the education that we seek, seek. And that was a very, very beautiful thought. So every human being is a seeker. So I'm sure, you know, like children will find their way. They would like we all, in our day to day existence, we all take time out for something that we badly want to do. There are other things which we kind of put it aside, okay, which are not so important to us, but what we really want to do, we do. Like even at this age of 57, till date, I learn music, okay, Because I feel that day to day Riyaz is not possible. But if I have a music teacher coming, I'll definitely do Riyaz just like that. We all manage to take time out for this and we have to be there as I will not even say guide, but like for any, you know, course correction, we should be there for critical course correction. And beyond that, I don't think there is too much of role of parents and we have to of course ensure safety, security and you know, look after their daily needs and monetary needs. Okay. Beyond that I don't think there is too much to be done, you know, programming them, pushing them and, or especially, you know, we have some unfulfilled, unrealized dreams which we want to kind of fulfill through them. No, that is not my idea and that is not my husband's idea as well. So I would say that let them be. And it's like when a bud is flowering, you're not going to, you know, hold the bud and prevent it from growing into a flower, you know, and trying to modify the pace at which it is going to bloom. It's like that. So they should be free and I'm sure they will, they'll find what they want to do and do it very well. And that's the way it has been. And in fact my younger one, she has been into a very offbeat track in the sense that she is into the electronic media, which was not there during our times. And I, I don't even understand that, but I was not. I will say that I did have apprehensions, but beyond that I knew she will manage her way and which she has done, she's done a great job of that. And the same thing with my elder one. She always wanted to be an academic, and she's doing a great job of that. So we, I don't think, have consciously done too much as a parent. So I don't really know whether I can give tips as a tips for parenting, really. I can't sleep, but I'm highly awake. A limbo dance Such a fine romance Bit by bit I am so.
