What everybody ought to know about Shyness | Interview with Shelly Nathan | The Ask Avi Arya Show

I think you look lovely, your set looks lovely. But a lot of people, girls, that's what my girls tell me. They're like, we don't look lovely, so we should not do videos. What would be your message to young girls who are saying that, you know, I'm not worth it, I don't look good and I should not do videos.

And I'm doing video all the time. And I think it makes it less scary because it's just as soon as you put the word YouTube in front of it, it makes people kind of like clam up, you know?

That's a good point.

So even when you're saying, even when you're doing Zoom call or FaceTime, you're still doing videos, but you're just not.

Aware of it, right? Exactly. I really. Maybe this is why I'm not a billionaire. I don't necessarily prescribe to that same thought that you have to do the same thing in the same place and at the same time. And I think that can almost feel a little constricting and restrictive. And I think that sometimes if you're out in the field and that's when you know something strikes your fancy and some thought you want to share. I think it's fine to get on live and be quick, be fun, then be done. And I don't think you have to wait until you're home until you can write it on a. Post it till 7 o' clock at night on the regularly scheduled time that you go. Like, I don't, I don't prescribe to that. And I think that it's fine to take that moment, to just be in that moment. And I think when you try and calculate, I think it's good to have systems in place.

Hey, guys, this is Avi Arya, father of two girls, six dogs, husband to a superwoman, a streetcar racer turned hotelier, now social media marketer and founder of Internet Moguls. Welcome to my channel. Alrighty. So should we get started?

Sure.

Okay. Thank you so much for taking the time out for this interview, by the way.

Yeah.

Your studio looks fantastic. All right, Shelley. I always, I like to start by saying the shortest distance between two human hearts is always a story. You tell a perfect stranger a story and you form a bond. So I'm going to tell you my story and then I request you to tell us yours. Alrighty. So, Shelley, my name is Avi Arya, father of two girls, six dogs, husband to a superwoman, a streetcar racer turned hotelier, now social media marketer and founder of Internet Moguls. Over to you.

Well, my name is Shelly, and I go by Shelley Saves a Day online. I am a dog mom, a Seattle Seahawks lover. I'm a resident of Seattle, and I would like to say that I am a superwoman. So wife superwoman here.

Love that.

Love that. I love that. Okay, Shelley, so, you know, tell us, how did you come up with Shelly Saves the Day?

Oh, okay. So a while back, I had a YouTube channel that I had started with a friend of mine, and we had decided to go with our names, and it was going to be the Shelly and Jade. And then eventually we decided that we wanted to have separate YouTube channels. And I was like, oh, what should I name my new channel? And then I was just like, what I really want to talk to people about is creating content, being on YouTube, maybe video editing. And I was like, maybe even shopping, saving money. And so it became like, shelly Saves. And then it was like, Shelly Saves the Day. So that's where it was born.

That's fantastic.

I see that you and I have something in common. One is the love for sneakers, and the other one is the Gary Vee's that you have at the back.

Yes, I know you said that you interviewed Gary Vee. I am a big fan. And so I met him@VIDSummit 2018. Did you go to VidSummit 2018?

No, I didn't.

He was a keynote speaker there. Okay. And he had given a pair of sneakers to everyone who was attending VidSummit. This was part of his, you know, collaboration. And then I went and attended the lunch that they had. And so I got to have him sign my sneakers.

And.

And it was a really, like, full circle moment, because I got to tell him, I'm sure you're very familiar with that video of him by the dumpster talking about haters and how it's just how people are just kind of not great if that's how they want to choose to spend their time. And I remember telling him, like, that video was, like, so instrumental to me because there were so many times, and I was, like, letting those people get to me. And, like, that helped me so much, changed my. And he was really, really nice about it. So I got to take a photo with him, and he signed my shoes, and it's just. It's a great memory, so I always put it here.

That is fantastic.

How many times do you have to.

Stop in the middle of the street when people want. People recognize you and want to take a picture with you?

None. No, really, none. I think my biggest Moment. There was one time at VidCon, and I was actually walking around with a friend of mine, and people do recognize her. She's a much larger creator. And people are always like, oh, my gosh, you're this person. And there was one time there was a gentleman that came up, and I thought he was coming for her. Her. And he's like, you're Shelly. And I was like, yeah. And that was the one moment. And I was like, oh, I've had my moment. That was it. Just the one time.

That is fantastic. Shelley, tell us.

When it comes to videos, like, you.

Know, you're all about videos. You're all about tubebuddy. I see that you and I have Rob as a common friend as well. And so when it comes to videos, and let's talk to an audience who has. Who's say, shy.

How do you. What is your suggestion to people who are shy? How should they get over their shyness or videos?

Sometimes it's just a muscle that you have to flex and build upon. And when you actually break down, how often you are on video, whether that's Snapchat or instant messages with friends or making duo calls or being on zoom calls for work, a lot of us are working remotely. We forget how often we're actually doing a lot of this video thing. And so if you just take away all of the fact that it's YouTube or it's, you know, someplace else, it's like, oh, no, I really am doing video all the time. And I think it makes it less scary because it's just as soon as you put the word YouTube in front of it, it makes people kind of, like, clam up, you know?

Good point. So even when you're saying, even when you're doing Zoom calls or FaceTime, you're still doing videos, but you're just not.

Aware of video, right? Exactly. And you don't get nervous when you get on the phone with your mom or dad on FaceTime. You're just like, you're excited to see them and you're happy. And it's about connecting with the person that you're contacting. And so it's the same. It's just that right now, you don't see the other person on the other side. And for a lot of people, it should be even less scary because you can edit as many times as you want to, and you can make yourself look as good or as bad. You know, there's no one there stopping you being like, you know, oh, I can't redo that line. Again, like, you can take all the time that you need to edit it and then put out whatever you feel comfortable with.

Got it. So that takes care of the. I call it going from shyness to awesomeness. Find your own awesomeness. Get over your shyness. Okay, when it comes to gear, tell us, you know, like, what kind of gear do you need? You like, need $10,000 to start with. How do you start?

No, not at all. I tell everyone, like, the easiest way to get started is like, use what you already have. Because you could go out and spend $10,000 on gear, make one video or no videos, or find that you hate making videos. And I always tell a lot of people, like, focusing on the gear does not make you a better storyteller. Does not make people more engaged with your story. Your story. And I love how you had that on your connection. You know, like, take your mess and turn it into a message. It's about your. People can use their cell phones, they can use their old iPads or ipod touches or whatever it is. You can use the built in laptop camera. And it may not look the best, but what's more important is the message, right?

Okay, so you're saying it's more important to tell stories.

I think so, yeah.

So how do I start telling stories? Like, I mean, is there a format for telling stories or.

Well, I like to think of stories as the fact that if you remember, like all of those favorite 80s and 90s sitcoms and family things, like, they would have a problem that would arise, there would be some drama around it, and then they'd always wrap it up with a nice bow at the very end. Right. So it's like a very pointed story. So if you think about this, even if you're a service based provider and you're trying to help your clients, first you identify what is the thing or dramatic thing that's happened, you know, or like, oh, you're standing in front of someone and you really want to ask them out, but you don't have confidence. Just painting the picture, right? All of a sudden you're like thinking, oh my gosh, that happened to me one time. Then you have some sort of solution. You're like, and this is something that I do to help you build confidence so that the next time you're in this situation, you'll feel more comfortable. And then they're like, I would like that. And then you come in and wrap it all up in a bow and say, if this is something that's interesting to you, not only do I have more content on this. But maybe you want to work with me. And it's simple as that, right? We told a story, we identified a pain point, and then we even provide. Provided a solution. But you can even take it backwards and just say, these are things that have happened to me and things that I've learned. And even if you're not pushing them into any kind of like paid offer, I think there's a lot of, like you said, you tell a story and you feel closer to someone. So it's really just sharing that story.

Excellent. So have a problem, give a solution, and you know, and tell them how you can help them at the, at the end. So it's as simple as that. And maybe use an analogy of, you know, the other day, Sherry met ABHI walking in Seattle and Avi was trying, fiddling with his newly found dslr. Shelly could see very. I could see. Shelly says I could see very clearly. This is a guy with a fancy camera and has no idea how to use it. So she said, tapped me on the back and said, if you don't mind. Can I help you, auto? Can I help you put this on auto mode? I helped him put it on auto mode. So after this, he doesn't need to be an expert. The camera works on its own. So every camera has an auto mode. So if you too are like Avi, who loves to buy expensive gadgets but doesn't know how to use them. My name is Shelley Saves the Day and I'll help you create your perfect photographs and videos with no knowledge of how to use them. Something like that.

You just did it. You just did it. That was exactly the formula, is it not? And you're like, oh, okay, yes, absolutely.

Got it. Okay, so you are known for your vertical videos, right? So tell us what's like for the layman.

Why?

What's the difference between vertical videos or. I mean, I just thought videos were videos.

So vertical video is usually referring to the orientation that they're either shot or that you view them. So if you hold your phone out right now and you take a selfie, most of the time you're going to do it in an up and down orientation. Most of the time, unless you have multiple people in the shot with you and then you're trying to get, you know, a wider frame of reference. But it's actually amazing because most of the time, more than 85% of the time, when someone has a smartphone in their hand, usually they're holding it in that orientation, in that up and down orientation. So what's so fascinating. Like Even something like YouTube where you are 70% of the traffic and watching on YouTube is coming from a phone. What's so interesting is if you look, the majority of people, even though they're on a video site, will still hold their phone in an up and down orientation so it never fills the screen. And they're doing that so they can scroll and see comments or see what the next videos are. And I'm a big proponent of being able to take up the screen and stop their scrolling and fill up the entire page. So, and I love that because you can take that same video and you can put it everywhere. So whether that's Twitter for fleets or Instagram for stories, or LinkedIn for stories or Snapchat or, you know, IGTV, all of them, Facebook, they all accept vertical video. So I'm always about efficiency as well. So I like to take the one video that I have and place it everywhere because I think that it reaches more people and you don't have to do as much tinkering sometimes when you do a landscape photo, and not only that, but something just photographed better or video better inside of a tall frame. So if you had like a bottle of wine or you had like a really tall building, sometimes you just lose it when you turn that phone sideways and try and actually pan to what that looks like.

Right. But why do people, why do people take pictures like this? If this is how a picture looks nice and you can, you know, everything that you said, why is it, I mean, is there, there has to be some advantage of this as well, or.

No, there is an advantage. If you have something like you're trying to photograph a mountainscape, you know, you want to have that beautiful wide photo. And there's also like this great image. Like a lot of time when movies, you're not going to always go and watch movies in, well, most of the time in a theater in a vertical format, you're gonna want to watch it in a widescreen as it was intended, as it was shot. But those are more specific times where it's almost like taken for granted that it's going to be in that format. And actually anything else would be kind of jarring to you. But if you're thinking about the way that you're using your smartphone and how much time people spend on it per day, and that's where so many people are making buying decisions and scrolling and, you know, shopping. I think it's really, really important to like fill people's feed up with things that one, they can't scroll away from two that are visually beautiful and three that are just actually different. Because if you think about it, you take a really wide video and you put it onto Instagram, it's really easy to scroll past it. But if you do an entire full screen, it's not as easy to do that.

Got it. Shelley, tell us when it comes to a new.

A new.

A new. A new business, you know, and most businesses, unfortunately are just about.

I mean, fortunately, because after Covid, people.

Are like, I have no other way but digital. But unfortunately they've waited for something like.

A Covid to come.

I love that mug. My daughters would go, that is.

So I got it off of Etsy. There's a lady who does this and she puts all the crystals on and you know, she does your name or whatever you want. And yeah, I found her on Etsy.

That is so cool. I love personalized stuff.

You know what?

I'm not wearing it right now, but I don't like to wear a chain. But this is my grandmother's chain. So she was 86 and when she died, she told the doctor, I'm dying.

Only because you didn't do a good.

Job when you were studying your medicine. You shouldn't know how to say.

I love that.

Isn't.

Yeah. So she was amazing. So she, she gave me this.

And I've got a. I've got a.

Thing which I left at home today. Damn. It's called. It says Internet moguls. So anything that's personal, own brand is just. I love that. Sorry to go off.

No, no, I love that story. That's good.

So it's all about stories. Like, and it's all about the personalization. Like I'm talking to you and I feel, oh, my God. Like in the last 10 minutes, I'm like.

I'm looking at you and I'm like.

This is somebody who's got it all figured out. Like, look at your screen.

Oh, no, not at all. Not at all.

I love the light. The nice yellow light falling. And I'm feeling. I'm kicking myself under the table. I'm like, look at my light. Oh, why can't I be like this? I love the Gary V shoes. I love the tubebuddy pillow. They didn't send me the pillow. I'm going to write to them.

You should talk to Rob. I'm sure he'll hook you up.

I know we're both in Vancouver and we talk almost every week, so I will. I will speak to them.

Well, one thing is like, this is a set that's been built up over years. This is not like day one. This is day four. So never compare, you know, someone's day one versus day four. But like, like the other shoes that are up here actually, so you can see my love for sparkly things. Those are my wedding shoes. And so like a lot of the stuff that's in my set are things that are like near and dear or personal to me. And that takes time to build up. So. So like if you looked at my videos from a few years ago, half the stuff wasn't in it. So you still have time. You can build your perfect set.

Yes, that's a good message for everybody who's watching. Get started. Perfection. Progress over perfection. It takes time. But like right now it is all. I'm sure.

I mean, I can just imagine you.

Coming to your, your office, set up your studio setup and feeling so at home. Because this is a memorabilia of everything that you know you love doing and everything that you've created. And it's so you. And it's. And I can make out and I, you know, it's so, it's so coming back to that business person who just about getting started, should they just start recording from wherever they are in the office with the tower at the back or whatever or they should have a one space every time at the right angle. Set up a studio at home or at work. How should people start getting started with doing videos? Like, like they say, sorry, when you, they say when you do yoga.

A friend of mine is a yoga.

Teacher, he said do yoga at the same time in the same place every day. That this becomes a sacred place. Right. And they say if you.

And today, if I read any book.

From any of the top billionaires of the world, they say whatever you do, do it at the same time every day. So the only. I try to do many of those things that I read from these books, except I've never been able to go for a 4am ice cold bath.

Oh no, Me either.

So that's, that's sort of. I'll take a little bit less success and I'll forego the bath and. But when it comes to getting started, you know, what is, what is. What are your top two, three recommendations?

I really. Maybe this is why I'm not a billionaire. I don't necessarily prescribe to that same, that thought that you have to do the same thing in the same place and at the same time. And I think that can almost feel a little constricting and restrictive. And I think that Sometimes if you're out in the field and that's when you know something strikes your fancy and some thought you want to share. I think it's fine to get on live and be quick, be fun, then be done. And I don't think you have to wait until you're home until you can write it on a. Post it till it's 7 o' clock at night on the regularly scheduled time that you go. Like, I don't, I don't prescribe to that. And I think that it's fine to take that moment, to just be in that moment. And I think when you try and calculate, I think it's good to have systems in place or things that can make it more efficient, such as this set. I can now leave my camera up and then if I'm invited to a zoom call or if I'm now needing to meet with a client or whatever it is, I know that I can go sit down, turn on the lights and actually get on camera. And that has a sense of freedom and flexibility for me. But if I said that I have to do a same type of recording, I, I don't think I would feel the same excitement as, as I would if I just, you know, wanted to record when I want to record. Now that being said, I do like usually record like on a Friday or Saturday after I'm done with my work week for my video that comes out on Sunday. But that's just more of an internal calendar that I put that I could record at 5 o' clock on a Friday, it could be midnight on Saturday. It's, it's whatever I feel, you know, So I don't like to think that I need to have that same restriction.

You sometimes go for, go for a nice cappuccino and you find a lot of ice cream cones and everything and.

You'Re like, I need to make a video of them.

You just pull out your phone and make a video and post it. You do all of those crazy things as well.

Well, sometimes I'll take video and save it just for later because one, I don't subscribe that we have to necessarily post immediately because one, depending on how large you are, that could be a safety concern for you. Like maybe you don't want to post that you're at a certain ice cream shop until after you've left said ice cream shop. Especially, I don't know, sometimes as a female, I do worry about that as well. So I don't try and post immediately in the moment if I'm at a Location, especially if I'm going to market publicly. So that could be something there. But one thing that you just said that I love so much is a lot of us will whip out our phone and take a video in the moment. And one thing I love about that, especially. Especially about vertical video, is because it kind of brings that into it, because so many of them you're gonna create it on your phone with. I feel those moments are more real and more genuine and better. Sometimes when you just whip out your phone and you're like, look at us. We're at the zoo, or whatever it is, and then you take those and you stitch it together later and you make a video of it, I think that those moments are great. And I love that. Basically right there, you're saying that the phone that's in your pocket, your smartphone, is good enough to make videos to share with the world.

Awesome. Love that. So you mentioned, you know, safety and all of that. So. I've got two daughters who are 14 and 11. They behave as if they're 31 and 21.

I'm sorry.

Thank you so much. But the thing is, they. The one discussion I have with my. With my daughters, and they. They'd love to see this interview in the evening, and I'm sorry they could not be here. They. They are here for 90 of. They do the interview themselves. They write it and all of that, but they often say that, you know, by the way, you know, Sherry, I. You. I think you look lovely. Your set looks lovely. But a lot of people, girls, that's what my girls tell me. They're like, we don't look lovely, so we should not do videos. You know, it's. It's. How. How. What would be your message to young girls who are saying that, you know, I'm not worth it, I don't look good, and I should not do videos. And they're, you know, staying away just because they feel they'll be judged.

It is really, really difficult. And I even did a project in October. I called it vlogtober, where I was ramping up the launch of my E course. I was doing speaking at a couple of summits online. I was, like, doing podcasts with my friends. I had the busiest October that I could even remember. And I thought to myself, like, what is one way that I could actually chronicle this entire. And I decided that I would at the end of the day, because I have all of my lights and everything set up, I would turn on the camera. And every night, sometime for at least five minutes, it was the goal. For five minutes, I would talk about my day, what happened, the highs, the lows, how I was feeling, because I knew that later on, even now, I could look back at that time and be like, wow, that was the most stressful time of my life. But it was also one of the most productive, and I'm proud of myself. And if you want to watch someone completely, like, descend into madness and lose their mind, you can watch those videos. But there were some of those days I didn't want to get on video at all because I didn't feel pretty, or I didn't have makeup on, or I hadn't done my hair. And so those fears are very, very real. Because a lot of the time when women get on camera, so much of what we're being judged and critiqued on is not the quality of the information that we're giving, but how we look while we're presenting it. And so I find that a lot when I'm doing tutorials, when I'm teaching or talking about technology like cell phones or anything, it can be a very exhausting place. So a few things that I would put out is that, one, your message is still way more important than what you look like. And I think that all of us, we are way harsher on ourselves than other people tend to be on ourselves. And another thing that you can do is even though you put out content and people are allowed to say however they feel about it, and you don't have to let those comments stay on your videos. So I have a very, very extensive blocked words list within my YouTube library and within my Instagram. So some of those comments I just never even see, period. And then the other ones, I sometimes will even make a game out of the comments that come in because they're usually coming from people with no profile pictures. They're coming from people who've never put out or produced any content.

And.

And they're coming from a place of jealousy and a place of wanting to tear people down to make themselves feel better. And I was like, I just like Gary Vee, right? It took a while to embrace them. Like, it makes me sad that their existence is only to make other people feel worse about themselves. And so I actually had a moment. Maybe I'll tell you this story, but I had a moment. So for fun, I play guitar acoustically. And I like single. And it's just. I take sad songs and I make them, like, depressing, or I take happy songs and I make them sad. That's just my special gift. I just make sad, sad songs. And I sing guitar with my guitar. And then I was using a platform, so I was multi streaming. I was on Twitch, I was on Facebook, I was on YouTube, and a young gentleman came into my Twitch, which can be a very bad place sometimes, and started saying things about how old I was, about my ethnicity, about just tons of tons of bad place sometimes, and started saying things about how old I was, about my ethnicity, about just tons of tons of things. And actually, like, I stopped the stream on YouTube and on Facebook and I had this conversation with him, and I was like, it's just you and me here right now. Like, what is going on with you? Are you okay? And is this, like, really how you want to spend your time? I've never interacted with you before, and this is how you want to spend your time? And it actually, I think, made him more upset that he wasn't more able to get a rise out of me. And then what was really ironic about this entire situation is because not only did he finally apologize, it wasn't even until later I happened to come across his father's profile. And me being me, I just. I have this thing about. It's about the principal. It's about the principal. And I want people to know. I was like, as an adult or if I had children who were doing this type of thing, one, I would want people to know and make me aware if they were behaving in such a way that was hurtful. And two, that's something that I can address or choose not to because I can't tell people how to raise their kids. But I happened to come across it, and I'm like, do I take this moment to say, hey, I've been kind of subject to online belittling and bullying from your child, or do I just let it go? And I took that moment and I was like, you know what, though? You know, him just ignoring it. He's gonna go on and do this to somebody else. But I know that if my dad came and talked to me about something, it would, one, embarrass me, but two, probably teach me a more effective lesson than just some random person on the Internet, right? And so I just happened to message this person's father, and I said, hey, this is a long shot. By chance, is this your kid or do you know them? And they're like, yeah, that's my kid. Is there something I need to know? And I was like, hey, I just. I wasn't, like, angry. I just said, hey, I just want to provide you with Some of these screenshots that I was given from your child and let you know that these are some of the things that were said to me. And they were so embarrassed, and they're like, trust me, we will take care of this. And that's not my place to judge how they want to talk to their children, but at least it gave me hope to, too, that I was just like, I'm sure this is just a kid who is feeling tough and wants to talk big on the Internet, but probably is going to one day realize there are real world consequences for this. And I feel like that's one thing that is sometimes missing from the online space is this anonymity comes with so much bravery. And I feel like sometimes once you strip that away, I don't think if he was standing here next to me, with his father next to him, that he would be saying, you know, these things about me. And I would like to think the same, you know, would be said for the people who maybe would harass or say things about your girls, you know, once they realize, like, this is not okay and this is not regular behavior. And the problem is not with you. The problem is with the people saying those things to you.

You know, I'm gonna go home and make this. Play this video for them, because what happens is, like, my girls are creators of. I mean, they are. They're fantastic, but they clamp down once in a while and they're like, why is this happening? But they've got a very strong mom. And it's like, we're not. We're not backing off. Get right back there and create your content. But it. But. But, you know, my girls tell me that we've got a good support system at home. We all create videos and all of that. My girls went to meet Gary Vee, like, twice. They've interviewed him. They've met him twice. And, you know, they've done. They interviewed Grant Cardone, they interviewed Pat Flynn, they interviewed John Lee Dumas. My girls, they've interviewed everyone. And they're not backing off, but behind closed doors, we do have discussions to say, you know what? It just. It's scary on various levels when people say these things. And I've said. I've said, yeah, I get it. So, no, congratulations on. I won't say setting the guy straight, but actually showing him the mirror and saying, you know, what if I didn't help you at this age, maybe tomorrow you would have gone and done something which maybe would have got you kicked out of school or some job or something. And, you know, right now it's just between you, me and your dad. And we just figured it out. So.

Yeah. Awesome.

Thank you for. Thank you for doing that. Now I've got two. Yeah. Two more questions. My next question is that when it comes to, you know, I. There was a bit of an error. So I'm in Vancouver Ro, who organizes my interviews. She's been working with me for the last 10 years. She's in Singapore and we've got an office in Delhi. And we manage our calendar based on three different timelines. And so because of various reasons, I got five minutes late for this interview. And I apologize. And not once were you upset I sent. You know, and you, You. You know, you were still as sweet as. I just wanted to know what. How does that happen? I mean, for being five minutes late, everybody would have been upset or at least express some. Some. Some discontentment for the. I mean, what, what. How do you. How do you deal with the things not going your way?

Oh, well, one thing I think you learn. I do a lot of live stream streaming. And so, like, I have a weekly show on YouTube and it's almost always the case that something happens, like when you're live, and so you kind of learn to roll with the punches. This person's. So yesterday we did this takeover on ECAMM Live myself and I invited my friend with me, and he took the entire day off from work. Like, he was so excited about this. And then it turned out there was an Internet outage in his neighborhood and he was like, what do I do? So he packed up his entire, like, mobile studio and he booked it to a friend's house. And he's like, I'm gonna sit here at my friend's house where they have working Internet, and I'm gonna do this interview. Like, nothing is gonna stop me. And I think that sometimes, you know, if you're not in the thing where you're used to kind of rolling with the punches, you could take that moment and decide that, like, I'm pissed off at everyone. I'm canceling this live stream. I'm gonna get really, really angry. But that wouldn't have really helped too much. And in fact, this is something that I'm still working on is like, patience and understanding from other people. Because I used to live in a very black and white world. So had you, I would have been like, screw this guy. I can't believe this. I'm not, you know, showing up for this interview. And now I'm kind of like, life happens sometimes. You know your car gets stuck or you can't find your phone and you can't even though you want to message someone. And so I feel like now, especially with everyone in lockdown or under Covid things, people are stressed and, you know, and hurried and frantic. And I think that sometimes just giving people a little bit more leniency and understanding, there's probably a reason why you were late. Probably not trying to blow me off. There's probably, you know, and I would make it like he doesn't respect my time or he's not understanding or, you know, if it was something like that, that's how I would used to react. And now I'm just kind of like, well, I've already blocked off an hour or more for this, so there's no harm in me just waiting, you know, so it's like, it just. It's a different frame of reference in mind.

How lovely. I really, I really appreciate that because that's what's missing today. Every single day we get riled up. So I run an agency. I started an agency with a four member team in 2009. We grew it to 225 people. So I run a very large army of people. And when you go and walk into an office with 200 people, there is always. There are 200 human beings with 200, with 2 million emotions up and down. Somebody has got some bad news from their mother. Somebody's mother, father is saying, you better get a better job. Somebody is saying, you get married. Some. Something is happening in their lives. And then the manager is breathing down your neck and saying, hey, have you delivered the videos we have to send to Shelley? The edited version. And while that is happening, the client is calling and saying, what happened to my, you know, to my work? Between all of that, I have learned over the last 10 years to say, okay, the work was supposed to have been done. It was not done. Can we now get it done before you leave for the day? Is it possible? So instead of saying, why was it not done? And you know, whatever, because there are so many things happening around a human being. But at the same time, I also have learned from one of my gurus who said that you every. Everybody is going through some level of spirituality. So these 200 people, or two people, whoever are working with you have been put into your frame of reference for you to be able to guide them. So don't give them the easy way out, it's okay, but sit down with them and say, it is not okay. But on a human level, I understand, but On a work level, the client will not understand. And you may still have to, I may still have to let you go if you continue to work like this. But it's not because I, I need to, I don't need to shout at the person or, you know, go all crazy and make him feel, him or her feel like they're, they're nobody in life. Nobody deserves to make anybody feel like they're nobody in life. That is right. With having that as a benchmark rule, I think life becomes easier. However, today what's happening is in corporate America or corporate world, this is becoming a rule. Don't be rude. So people are like, oh, you know what, let's just text rude. Or actually, you know what, people can read my text, so let's just think rude. So, so is whatever I'm not getting caught at. Let me just do that. But the thing, not to, not to mean it in the first place. And you know, so, but, but I, with my girls growing up, I am seeing that. I went to high school many years ago, but I'm just seeing from, I'm, I'm reliving my high school days with my girls. It's not an easy place to go because everybody creates videos and there are Instagram stars in school and they have their own friends. And then you're trying to build an Instagram journey with 30 followers and you're like, all the best doing that. Because everybody's going to put you down to say, what the hell are you even talking about? And my girls are like, you know, it's difficult being a brown girl. I said, yeah, that's the challenge. I mean, everywhere there's a climb, everywhere there's going to be a climb. Like, my elder daughter loves to go to the gym. I said, what do you go in the gym most for? She's like, Daddy, she's a 14 year old. You know, last year she wanted to become a Hollywood star. Now she wants to, to become a bodybuilder. She's a Dwayne Johnson fan. So she wants to become a Dwayne Johnson.

She's in the gym all the time.

Exactly.

So I think, why do you pick up weight? She's like, because it helps me grow my muscle. So I said, a brown girl going up in Canada is, is weights. That's the weights that you, your life situation has given you. You know, like, don't disrespect the weight. That's the challenge. You know, use it as a weight. But it's, it's, it's so Difficult. And I loved what you, you said about how you keep your calm and how all of that. So my last question before, you know, we finish this is that we always say our company is called Internet Moguls, and we say an Internet mogul is somebody who uses the Internet to be nice, uses the Internet to make money. At the same time, uses the Internet to save at least two to three hours a day because you can do it from your home, studio, whatever, 15 hours a week, 60amonth, 720 a year. And over a lifetime, you've saved at least three years of traffic just spent in traffic. And that three years, at least three years you spend back in your hobbies, your scuba diving, your, you know, your raising your kids or whatever. So that is the definition of an Internet mogul who can save time using the Internet and spend it, you know, doing what they want. So what would Sheri's definition of an Internet mogul be?

Oh, that's a good one. Okay, so I do believe strongly in make it once and redistribute it lots of places. So I like to make one video. And then I would say, you know, can you break it up? Can you put it into 1 minute IGTVs? Can you take those and make quotable graphics? Can you then rip out the audio and do a podcast? Can you strip out and do the transcription and make a blog post so it looks like you're everywhere or while you're only doing the same amount of work? And so I think the whole repurposing and being everywhere while still doing less, instead of thinking, what am I going to post on Instagram and what am I going to put on Pinterest and what am I going to. Just taking the thing that you've made and, like, pull it apart and put it everywhere and break it out into pieces. And I think that doing that smartly and effectively and being able to drive and funnel, you know, attention back to if you're selling a course or if you're doing coaching services or if you're whatever it is that you want to do to be making money. I want you to be able to have the life that you want while not killing yourself and being a complete slave to the Internet machine. Because it will never be enough. No matter how many videos you put out on YouTube, no matter how many times you go on live stream, and there's only so many hours in a day, I would really like to be able to see people have that freedom to just walk away from their phones. Now, whether that's a team doing this or you doing it smartly, once a week, once a month, whatever it is. I would like people to be able to and for myself to be able to do that. Have people funneling into my systems and make me money and having multiple streams of income instead of ever relying on anyone and then being comfortable to turn off my phone. And it's so weird because it's. Even though it's an Internet mogul, my ultimate dream is still be making money while my phone is off.

No, no, I don't. I totally understand that. That's very well said, that yet. Let the Internet work. Why do I need to work on the Internet all the time?

Exactly.

Awesome. That is perfect. Shelley, thank you very much for this interview. This has been. This has been 45 minutes of awesome talk from the heart, from storytelling to understanding why it's important to be a certain way. Vertical videos. Your message for my girls, which I'll definitely share with them and everything in between, including Gary B. And Rob from Tubebuddy and all of those people. It was great talking to you. Thank you. Sheddy. This once again, this is Avi Arya, father of two girls, six dogs, husband to a superwoman, a streetcar racer, turn hotelier, now social media marketer and founder of Internet Moguls, signing off. Thank you very much.