A reflective talk about emotional sensitivity in relationships that emphasizes asking permission before sharing strong feelings. The speaker argues that requesting consent to share (especially with aggression, grief, fear, or sadness) respects the other's autonomy, fosters intimacy, and demonstrates emotional maturity and caring.
There's got to be a tremendous excitement and enthusiasm that comes with these breakthroughs and strategies and sensing that there's a more effective way to be alive, to conduct our relationships, to be with ourselves on a moment to moment, day to day basis. And in that enthusiasm, you said before that sometimes in that enthusiasm, we don't fully consider the other person, that they've got a whole other. They may be operating at a completely different wavelength and how important it is for us to consider what they might be going through as we begin to approach them and engage them. Could you say some more about that? Sure. Asking for permission to our partners, our friends, is the biggest single missing link in intimacy. It's as if we feel like we're entitled to just invade the other space. And what my experience is, is that people, myself included, are in shock because suddenly there's a feeling of excitement coming into our body or anger or. Or sadness or fear. And it's so important that when we're sharing with each other, that there be a direct asking, are you okay if I share some feelings right now? Now, this is dramatically important with anything in the range of aggression, frustration, impatience, because it's so invasive. It's also really important to recognize it's hard to absorb another person's grief or fear or anxiety. And so it's such a caring request when you ask, are you in a place to really listen right now? What message does that send when we ask first rather than just opening the door and walking through? I care enough to recognize that you are independent from me and I don't own you. And I respect that you have free will, and I only want to share what I want or need when you're ready. And if you're not, I have the emotional, caring, sensitivity and maturity to treat you with respect and kindness.
