Awareness of Aggressive | Awareness That Heals Chapter 8 Meditation #1

So start off by noticing just where your attention is right now. Don't try to change it in any way. No pressure to be anywhere, anywhere special. Just be aware what your mind is thinking and if you can slow it down, what your heart and body are feeling and maybe you're listening to the voice that's speaking and what your reactions are. Simply notice where your awareness is focused without judgment. Or if you see that there's judgment, let the awareness focus and go. Ah, judgment. This being aware of where we are is one of the most gifted aspects of being alive. And we so rarely, most of us treasure it, devote ourselves to it, what's really happening. So put your awareness on your belly and heart and notice how you're breathing without trying to change anything. Just stay aware of how relaxed or how tense you are as you take in your next couple of breaths. Now ask yourself, what is the most significant emotion that you express that has elements of aggression? This is a brave question. It could be anger, frustration, irritation, impatience, annoyance, intolerance, sarcasm. Take a few seconds and look, really look. Ah, this is my tendency. And hopefully the ah, this is my tendency doesn't have any or much judgment in it because that's what awareness is. Awareness isn't the judge. Awareness sees the judge. So just see, Ah, this is the way I frequently do it. Maybe it's subtle, hard to see, maybe it's, maybe you've never seen it before. But let yourself be aware and if there's a judge of it, recognize that's not the awareness, that's just the judge, which is another form of aggression. And see if you can appreciate that you are using your awareness to potentially create benefit for your life and those around you by humbly and courageously seeing what you would normally. Let's stay out of your stable awareness. This seeing stably your form of aggression is an incredible act of potential being opened. If we just act out, if you just act out out in the same ways, then your life could almost be put on a video and mail it in. Because you're not grow, you're not going to grow, you're not going to improve your quality of life. You're still going to piss off the same people, you're going to still be in the same power struggles. So see if you can feel the motivation to just stably notice. Yes, this is my way. No matter what you see, do your best to name the feelings. If it's anger, just as gently as possible, say anger, and the same for impatience and so forth, and stay in this precious state of Awareness noticing. The longer you can sustain your awareness, or particularly your awareness of your aggressive feelings, the better chance to increase your mastery of gaining control and choice of what you energize and what your other options are. This is is an act of courage and strength just to be able to see what we normally view as being strong, but it is a form of false strength. It is both defensive and oftentimes offensive. See if you have the courage not to judge it, just to see it. If you judge it and you stay judging it and you think it's awareness, it's not going to help. If you judge it and you see it and you have the original form of aggression, that's wonderful. Let yourself realize that the true strength is being able to stand up for yourself as a response that you choose, rather than a negative reaction. That is impulsive. See if this makes sense to you and see if you can see how big of an ask this really is and how much more sensitive your world can become, would become, will become. And it's likely to be contagious because as you become more accountable for your form of aggression, the odds are so overwhelming that the people around you will really notice that this is a bit like a lobotomy for most of us, as we're usually taught to express our feelings even when they create harm. Even in psychotherapy, oftentimes there's an encouragement to express your feelings, which from this vantage point, it's very clear that's harmful. Take a moment and see how true this has been for you, either receiving these feelings or putting them out. I literally don't know anybody that doesn't do it in some way. Now it might seem a little tricky because aggression can also be in the form of just withholding, being cold, not wanting to be sexual anymore, just out of choice, out of spite. So that may also be your way. Oh, I move away. I just say, well, I'm not going to give to you anymore. And again, not to judge that, but just to be aware of that. So coming back to your form of aggression, recognize you have this capacity to be like a mirror seeing what is happening, which allows the potential for a form of wisdom to intervene. Again, it's so important because for your life you're the boss. Does this make sense to you, that you want to inspire yourself to be this contemplative and that will then guide you to further potentials of how then you can respond? How often can you catch that glimpse when aggression arises? In some cases, maybe even before the aggression arises. Can you see this as A potential ongoing informal prayer that would be beneficial to give yourself. May I become more and more aware of my aggression to enhance peace, trust and connection. And while you're doing this, allow yourself to hear your tone of voice. Can you say that same prayer with a tone of voice that's going to nurse you, support you, encourage you? Are you motivated to give yourself the opportunity to take what is normally maybe at best a quick, fleeting awareness when you see your tone and add the prayer, May I become more and more aware of my aggression to enhance peace, trust and connection? Can you see the potential of that welcoming your awareness of anger and related feelings with oh good, I can see it and go into silence and contain myself and be curious how I can better take care of myself and those around me. You can literally become more and more your awareness itself at the deepest level, and you can stay there with practice and use it to awaken alternatives. Can you see the inspiration? Can you see the paradox that your awareness of aggression, or whatever your particular form of aggression is, doesn't have to own you. The awareness of it doesn't have to increase, paradoxically, has the potential to denuclearize it. Finally, your sense of self, your identity, can be more the awareness of your form of aggression than the aggression itself. I'm going to say that again. Finally, your sense of identity can be more the awareness of your form of aggression than the aggression itself. May this be so for you. So again, where does this leave you, authentically, genuinely, not trying to be ahead of yourself, not shortchanging yourself? Are you in touch? And do you have a sense of the high stakes of being aware of your aggression and it opening up the probability, certainly the possibility of changing your capacity to find real strength? Just pause for a second. Can you feel the longing to find real strength, to be able to say what you need rather than bark or bite or be impatient or intolerant? Hopefully this inspires you to be captivated with curiosity as to how you can give yourself reminders and deepen your choice to wake up your awareness at these critical times that we all have. If so, this sets you up perfectly to continue on to the next meditation that will guide you on how to really make this link tangible, how to move from your awareness of your aggression to meet your needs and the needs of others as well. Let into your heart that this awareness of aggression is going to be given, step by step, alternatives of cultivating real strength. Continue to ask, because again, you're the authority for yourself. Does this really make sense to you? And my prayer is May this create benefit for you, for those that you love, and for the world. Thank you for your heart and your mind. Listening.

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