Excerpt from a YouTube video discussion on counseling around death and dying: speakers note that humans carry incompleteness (unfinished business) and discuss how counselors should sensitively assess and engage clients in life-review conversations. They advise an incremental approach—"inch" forward, assess readiness, and expand as the client permits—rather than imposing the therapist's agenda.
The nature of being human is to have incompleteness at any moment. Things we need to do, things we haven't done, things we wish we would do that is going to lead to things that are unspoken or things that we've. As counselors, we see our clients that we may know very well have suppressed or have acted out on people have displaced from one place to another. Knowing these things, how can we be effective with that knowledge in some cases about the person we're with? And also to the extent we can be effective with them if the opportunity comes to deal with it.
It's a really intuitive call as to how much you really can go forward. When you have this knowledge of all this unfinished business, you're with this person and you're making an assessment. How much are they interacting with me with a life review? And how much is it my agenda as a therapist that I think they're supposed to be in a life review? And again, I would suggest that you stay just inching forward, asking the question inch at a time. And if they give you an inch, you'll take a foot. You won't take a mile, but you take a foot and then you'll bring another foot. So as counselors, we're really. We're inching into investigatory terrain when we think there's a real possibility of an opening. And that is part of our function as good counselors, for sure. It's not just passive.
