A guided meditation/reflective talk that leads listeners from unconscious self-rejection toward self-compassion by naming the difficult feeling they most dislike (e.g., anxiety, anger, jealousy, shame), noticing avoidance and judgment, and practicing tolerance, acceptance, and kindness toward that feeling. The speaker emphasizes patience, repetition, and the paradox that greater self-care increases care for others.
Moving from self rejection toward self compassion. Ask the question, what is the particular feeling that you least like that you'd like to get rid of? If you had a magic wand like anxiety, anger, jealousy, inadequacy, hopelessness, or whatever is truly yours, appreciate that you have the humility and courage to to admit it. As you hear that, do you have any appreciation that you could be dishonest? Notice that you really don't like likely feels like it's humiliating, depressing, defeating, or impossible to overcome. It feels intolerable, which is what we're going to really take a close look at. See clearly that not only do you feel these difficult feelings, but you also are either feeling like you want to avoid looking at them and feeling them, or you generally put a spear. By judging these emotions, can you also feel a part of you that wants to reverse this? Realizes that you want to be a support to yourself? Do you realize that you aren't being emotional like this on purpose? It's deeply painful. Again, these might be feelings like abandonment, jealousy, competition, shame. Only you know what feeling you least like. Stay focused on feeling it and recognizing that you're either judging it or you're abandoning yourself and leaving this feeling in solitary confinement. Pause and recognize the side of you that knows you want to find a way to care. You want to move closer to your heart, be your own friend and take the shortest path toward healing. Once you start to clearly glimpse your dear and deep intention to care for this wounded part of yourself, recognize that you are first going to need to be able to tolerate it so you can stay aware of it. How are you going to stay aware of it if you can't tolerate it? You may say something to yourself like, I really want to tolerate this and not either fight against it or withdraw from myself. How can I move toward tolerance and acceptance? How can I make greater peace and realize this is difficult for me? How can I say this with greater sensitivity from my heart? This is the beginning of greater self care, paradoxically, will automatically allow you to be more caring toward the world around you as well. Take your time here, as it is a monumental pivot or turning point. When you start to stabilize this, as it deepens, you start to really become interested and asking, how can I continue to deepen this tolerance and awareness for my difficult feelings and eventually move toward acceptance and kindness? You might say to yourself, it's okay that I feel this particular feeling. Can you ask yourself that now? The music of your question will go a long way toward guiding you to where you need to go do you hear it soften? If not, continue reflecting on your need to soften toward yourself. This doesn't mean you're not strong. In fact, once you're able to be more soft, it allows you to feel more self loving and deserving of strength too. Return again and again to the original feeling that you've chosen, being aware of it and the deep seated wish to care for it and yourself repeating in your words, I want to tolerate what has been hard to tolerate. More and more, I want to move toward acceptance, kindness and even tenderness when I'm ready. This back and forth allowing and facing your most difficult feeling. Bringing caring again and again is a sacred act of peace. Paradoxically, the more you accept this feeling, the freer you are from being dominated by it. Recognize that this requires great practice to reverse automatic patterns that have been with you your whole life. Don't underestimate how big of a shift this is. Brace yourself with a patient acknowledgement with as much heart as you can. I'm appreciative. I can see how to begin a deeper caring in the emotional places where I'm most stuck and usually run away or judge from. I want to be moving toward this caring for my benefit and all those that will be supported by the greater heart I can bring to this emotion. I can see that by caring for what has been most shameful, I am bringing greater love and peace to myself and the world around me.
