Robert J. Strock explains why people isolate when they have deep feelings: emotional exposure hurts. He avoids isolation by recognizing that hurt without judgment, choosing friends who share inner lives, and deliberately building a meaningful life around people he can trust.
So, Robert, I feel like most people are not able or willing to access. They're more vulnerable and deeper feelings and are guarded about expressing those. And so I'm wondering, someone like you, in this environment, in this world, how do you help from isolating yourself or from feeling alone in the world?
Well, I do partially isolate myself, and I do feel alone in the world, not very alone, but by first recognizing that the reason why people don't expose their feelings is because it hurts too much, and so that helps not be too judgmental. Secondly, by choosing my friends carefully and really having friends that are wanting to share their inner world, I don't feel too alone. And it's really so important to craft for yourself the life in a way that isn't traditionally taught, because that's really where the trap comes, where the loneliness gets greater when you think that your unique desires are a problem rather than a solution. So for you, you really want to be able to be with people who are open. You really want to pursue a life that has greater meaning. And the key thing is you trusting that. And that's where it gets hard, because you haven't had the amount of support that you need. And so I think the key is going to be you hanging out with and discerning the friends that are the ones that can be those that you really will find supportive.
