Finding Self Value

So, Robert, there's. There's been times in my life where I felt very disillusioned with my career.

And.

Kind of wondering my. My value as a human being and are questioning that. And I've been lucky to have teachers and people who I feel have really seen me and seen the good and the value in me. But I also feel like there's kind of a. That I seem to depend on them as the support for my. My sense of value. And to not have that support, that I would feel kind of nothing, feel worthless. And I'm wondering how to find that sense of value in yourself that's not based on anyone else.

Well, I think you're in the perfect path. I mean, the best way that I know that any of us can gain a sense of value is first to recognize that we don't have it. And most of the people on the planet think they have value and are lacking much more than they realize. You suffer from the exact opposite, which is you don't recognize the degree of value you already have and you exaggerate your valuelessness. And the best way to, let's say, evolve in that area, as far as I know, is to take on people who you admire, that you feel have the strengths or the wisdom or the capacities and temporarily be in what might be called a healthy dependent relationship. And what that means is they have a sense of courage or strength of conviction or sensitivity, receptivity. Whatever the areas you're trying to develop. And you're asking them the good question like you're asking right now, which is, I don't feel like I would be like anyone unless you were mirroring that back to me. Now, as a little child, that's where we all start. And for most of us, that's where we end. Because most of us didn't get the mirroring or the positive reflection back. And we don't find the values that are really integral in our heart and in our souls. We might become successful, we might become influential in the world in some way, we might become popular, but that doesn't really translate into what might be called a heart and soul value. And you're clearly pursuing both. You want to be a heart and soul value, and you want to be a value in the world. I've been very fortunate to work with a tremendous amount of people who. Who are successful, who are also honest enough to tell me that every time a film doesn't get picked up, or every time a script doesn't get picked up, or every time their career goes south, a little bit they're no. 1, they're back to zero and they can't understand why. And part of the reason why is because we're taught from childhood that, that we're only as good as what our performance is in the world and we're only as good as other people that we admire. Eyes tell us that we are. In other words, if people we admire tell us we're of value, then we are. That's what we're taught and that's what most parents believe. And so you have the awareness to see that and to feel that. And so you need to inquire, well, what is it? What are the qualities that I need to develop to really be of value? And so let's review those together and see whether or not you have some of these qualities. And that inner reflection is the true sense of well being versus the outer reflection, which is just seeing it from a person outside of ourselves. So are you an honest person? Are you fundamentally, do you think that on a 0 to 100 relative to people you know, are you an honest person? And the answer you're saying yes, and hopefully that has some good feeling. Are you a caring person? Do you actually attempt to open your heart to people around you? Do you work hard at what you do? Are you somebody that's disciplined and has a good work ethic? And if somebody gives you a task or an assignment, are you dedicated to go for that? If somebody was really hurting around you, would you do your best to try to help them? Is there a kindness? Are you looking for what might be meaningful in life? These are just a handful of questions inside yourself. You need to ask yourself, am I really this way? And hear and ultimately feel your own truest truth as you experience inside your own being. So everything that any good teachers would be saying to you would be go inside and ask yourself these questions and let yourself experience how much you can feel them. So that's one of the practices you keep asking yourself, am I this kind of person? And that's much more interested than recirculating all the feelings of inadequacy or uncertainty or this or that. Instead, you spend time in this practice. So the other thing that's important to understand is that you're in a conditioning. And knowing you as I do, you're in a long family conditioning that basically you inherited some messages that were saying to you that you aren't adequate. And it's a family hypnosis and it's a bunch of crap. And when you investigate the truth of seems like it's all based on shadows. Wait a minute. Isn't a sense of, well, being, being a good soul and being dedicated to being reliable and being intelligent? I mean, aren't you intelligent enough? I mean, do you think you're intelligent enough? I'm all right. Yeah, you're right. All right. So do you feel. I feel already just in the sense of you asking yourself these truthful questions, you're a little bit lighter. And I think therein lies one level of the truth. And the other one is seeing that you inherited a message from your childhood in some way that you're not enough or that there's an inadequacy feeling that you just imbibed, I think, frankly, to some extent from both your parents and you took that line as if it's you and it's not you. But the only way you're going to be able to experience that is to keep asking yourself these truthful questions. And fortunately, you who doubt yourself more than most people that I know, when you really ask the truthful questions, you. You're going to get good answers. Most people, if I ask them to say, are you truthful? Well, I'm okay. You know, Are you dedicated to. Well, I'm a little sloppy. I'm pretty sloppy. You're going to get good answers.