A guided meditation that walks you through a recent moment of anger to find what's underneath: hurt, rejection, fear, or loss. You'll sit with those softer feelings and learn to tolerate them, which the practice says opens the door to better self-care and relationships.
Let yourself choose a comfortable setting where you won't be disturbed. Take a few breaths to feel and enter into your body and heart. Slowly continue breathing, acknowledging that being with your inner experience is your top priority. If it helps you, put your hand on your heart just to ground yourself in your body and your breathing. Now remember the last time you felt aggressive. Take the time to just scan. When was the last time that you felt aggressive, irritable, annoyed, frustrated, impatient? And make sure that it's really fresh in your mind and as vivid as possible. Feel the moments of the aggression, or the aggression like feelings themselves in whatever way they appeared. Ask yourself, were you conscious of the quality of these aggressive feelings at the time? If not, pause for a moment and encourage yourself to remember next time. After a few moments, ask yourself, what did I feel before the aggression started? Look as closely as possible to discover softer feelings underneath your aggression that were very likely difficult to tolerate. They may be feelings like hurt, rejection, helplessness, disappointment, loss, fear. So just take a few seconds to identify what were those, maybe flashpoint feelings that occurred right before your more resistant, aggressive reaction. If you can find these softer parts of your emotions, appreciate that. Just appreciate that you are able to sense and see these softer emotions. If you can't find them, appreciate that you're even looking for them, which is the essential purpose of what you're doing right now. Sincerely looking requires a major shift from being aggressive to being more humble. Recognize that this is no small task because this sincerity is the key to shifting out of aggression. Remind yourself that this looking is a place you want to return to whenever you feel these more resistant emotions. If you can find these more delicate feelings, dwell in them for as long as possible. If you feel fear, failure, inadequacy, hopelessness, or loss, encourage yourself with statements like have the courage to just feel and not do anything else. Recognize that it's very, very rare, that it's not beneficial to feel these feelings for at least a few minutes. Whether you're sincerely searching for what is underneath or found it, you are fulfilling your original intention in this meditation. No matter what your results. Appreciate yourself for your depth of honesty, courage, and tolerance to face what you normally weren't even looking for. Remind yourself that being aware of what's underneath your aggression is going to allow your heart to be softer and allow you to be closer to what it is you really need to best take care of yourself and ultimately to also take care of those that you love around you.
