A guided meditation that walks you from feeling alone and hurt toward self-compassion. You learn to ask yourself gently how you're doing, let loneliness and sadness surface without pushing them away, then meet those feelings with a steady inner voice that offers presence and safety. The practice ends with the affirmation: I am the love that I'm seeking.
Here I find myself, I'm feeling alone. I have some very important need to make contact with my lover. And I've asked as softly as I know how to ask for a tone of tenderness or a curiosity with a question. And I'm feeling very empty and subdued. And what I'm receiving back is some form of frustration or agitation, as if I'm being demanding or as if I'm being judgmental. The experience leads me to feel more and more despair, aloneness, helplessness. And then it becomes clear it's up to me that at that point I'm not going to receive it from the outside. And I need to be the love or lover that I'm looking for. So I need to ask myself the questions, how are you really doing? And here the subdued, the tired, maybe at other times it's anxious or lonely, abandoned, hurt. And I ask myself the question, so how are you really doing? With as much tenderness as possible. And I answer, I'm feeling lonely. I have frustration too, but on a less defended level. I just feel hurt and sad and alone. Then I hear the voice that I'm looking for on the outside say to me, that must be very difficult. I'm here with you. Feel my presence. I am here with you. You're safe. Drop into the experience as much as possible. I can stay with you longer than you can stay with yourself. So just be the very rock bottom of wherever you are and know that I am the real you or the deeper you. That is an effortless presence that has no interest but to hold you. I'm holding you in tender curiosity. So tell me more, tell me what else you're going through. You say I feel so hopeless, feel so alone, Perfect. Keep going. Have the courage not to change, not to defend, not to attack your lover, not to attack yourself. But just to hear the permission and the encouragement to keep dropping in and hearing this other side of your being, of your depths. I love you exactly where you are. And I know you can't quite feel me, I know you can't. But I want you to visualize all these arrows and all these energies coming towards you that are tender, that are sweet pillow like energies and they're all around you. And you can stay right where you are as long as you need to. But you need to recognize that the real source of love, the reliable source of love is the essential you. And you can afford to drop to the bottom because you're safest there. Because that's where I appear. I, who is the one that wants to hold you tenderly Just settle in now. Just settle into where you are. Breathe and realize that, yes, there's a part of you that wants to get it from the outside. Doesn't want to have to do the work fully to get it on the inside. But come back. Come back and recognize that in your core you know your love. You know your tenderness. You know you're innocent. You know you're trustworthy. Own those qualities even if you can't fully feel them now or even partially feel them now. Just intuitively know they're sending you waves and waves of energy and encouraging you at the same time to stay vulnerable. And in this healing alchemy of dropping to the bottom and tender love, support, inquiry, you can live there for the rest of your life. It's one of the major purposes of why you're alive. It's the way you'll need to be at death. It's the way you'll need to be every time your ego dies. And so you need your deepest heart's and soul's support. So dedicate yourself to the realization. I am the love that I'm seeking. I am the trust that I'm seeking. I am the tenderness I'm seeking. I am the vulnerability I'm seeking. Sa.
