A guided meditation that helps you notice your most painful emotional state, then practice three concrete responses: asking what it needs, requesting the opposite heart-quality, and offering yourself supportive words. Includes breathing and pausing techniques.
What emotion or state do I judge the most? How do I instead generate an accepting awareness? So just start off by appreciating the fact that you're taking this time to look at your most challenging emotion and learning how to develop acceptance and tenderness and awareness. And as you hear these words, see if you can sense any appreciation whatsoever inside yourself. Like your glad you're doing it, glad you finally got around to it, or whether there's just a void. But whatever you see inside yourself, just accept that you are where you are, wherever that is your game. To start from that place, ask yourself the question what emotion or state do I judge the most inside me? That is what emotion or state do I dislike the most? Do I feel the most aversion towards? Do I cringe? Do I feel embarrassed or shame about and have a tendency to very likely to keep the most private. And it could be any emotional state from anxiety to depression to emptiness, exhaustion, anger, impatience. It doesn't matter what state it is. What matters is you're now zeroing in and taking the time to actually have the courage to just see, this is the emotional state that I'm having the most difficulty with. As you're looking at that state, just appreciate that yes, I am dedicating myself to have another part of me that is an awareness of this state. And that by developing an awareness of this state, I'm no longer consumed. I now have two parts inside me, I have both this so called dreaded state. And I also have an awareness. By doing that, you're no longer as out of control because the awareness has a growing possibility of having an influence on on how you can be with this state. Because without awareness it's just going to run itself amok. It's going to just have a monopoly on your inner world. And then in addition to this awareness, also look at the quality of your interest. How is your heart? Is your heart actually engaged in being interested in what you're going through? So as you hear the tone of these words, see how that matches with the tone of your interest and inquiry of what is my dreaded state? Am I kind as I'm asking that question while the awareness is there, or am I just flat and empty? Or even more let's say disturbingly, am I judging myself while I'm taking this? Look, tell yourself right now I want to be as much as possible in a kind accepting awareness of this state. Because I recognize the closer I can come to that, the more I have a chance of being in a state of being that's Going to serve my life. Recognize that with awareness and a developing kindness or empathy or compassion, you're going to start with a very small percentage. And the whole priority is to build the percentage so that your acceptance and your awareness might move from being 1% to 20%. And each time you develop this practice, each time you remember during your day that you want to be in the awareness of your state, you want to be more and more deeply in the acceptance of your state, you're going to gain in its potency. And the more that accepting awareness, the more this embracing awareness can coexist with your dreaded state, the more possibility there is for you to find a sense of well being. So now just zero in this is the dreaded state and see if you can find a voice inside yourself right now that's going to say, I see you, I accept you, and it's okay that you're a part of my inner life. In fact, I see you and I recognize that there's no other way you can be right now, because you or I would not be doing this to myself on purpose if I had a way of getting a magic wand and eliminating the state. So appreciate the fact that you would never bring yourself into a state of anxiety or anger if you really had the option of the opposite of peace and calm. Therefore, this desire to move towards this wisdom, to move towards an accepting awareness, is something that you want to cultivate in the present and for the rest of your life. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has mastered this practice. And so the more you repeat the awareness and the acceptance of the most dreaded state you have, the more your life is going to be filled with a sense of well being. And once you are engaged and you really now have located this feeling state and have really allowed yourself to surround it with a certain degree, your degree of acceptance and awareness. Ask yourself the question, how can I best support you when you're in this state? Really, sincerely ask the question and wait for the answer or answers to appear if they might come. If you're in anxiety, you might suggest to yourself, for example, to just relax as much as possible. Or you might suggest for yourself to take calm breaths. If you're in anger, you might suggest to yourself, take a breath before you react, and in that way you'll be more harmless. If you're frightened, you might ask yourself, is this fear something that is realistic? And if it is, then be as kind to yourself as possible. The second practice, in addition to asking yourself these inquiry questions that you can support yourself with, is a certain kind of prayer where you're asking for the heart quality that's exactly the opposite of what you're feeling to be accessed as much as possible. So if you're afraid, you're going to ask for as much courage or as much safety as possible. And may I experience this as much as possible. Now, as a third practice, you can ask yourself, what would the thoughts be that I would say to myself when I'm in my dreaded state that would be the most supportive? What specifically would they be? For example, when you're in fear, you might say to yourself, you're not doing this on purpose. You deserve to be kind towards yourself. Or you might say, be as courageous as possible. If you're angry, you might say to yourself, be as contemplative as possible. Be as harmless as possible. So now you have three practices. You have inquiry, you have prayer, and you have wisdom guidance. And all three of these practices are ones that it would be helpful for you to write down what you've come up with each time you do this meditation. The specific answers to the inquiry, the prayer and the wisdom guidance will support you the next time the dreaded feelings come support you to move towards an empathic compassionate awareness. Sam.
