A guide to deepening intimacy through presence, breath, and tenderness. The speaker emphasizes soft eye contact, shared breathing, vulnerability about desires and limits, and holding space for your partner's healing. Practice matters more than understanding the concepts.
So each of us has a certain orientation in our sexual life that's focused on just the sexuality or the pleasure itself and to some extent on the heart. But for most of us, we haven't really given deep attention as to how we can bring our heart more and more into our sexual lives. So we're going to explore together which elements of the heart you might want to bring more into your life and into your sexual life with your partner. And what does it really take to be more intimate and more connected on a deeply felt heart level? Now, the first thing is that we really need to be present. And as we look at these things and these particular qualities, notice which ones are ones that you want to bring back to your partner and you want to bring into your own awareness, because that's what really matters. So, presence, how much are you really in your body? How much are you really in your breathing? How much are you really in and with your partner's body, how much are you really with their breathing? And just appreciate that that's a deeply sacred, intimate part of connecting in the heart. And then take a look at how much have you brought your tenderness and softness into the experience? A gentle wish, a. A kindness, a warmth. How much do you really, in your touch, in the way that you breathe, if you're making eye contact, how much do you show this more intimate part of your soul and your core and appreciate as we're exploring this together, that you're having the courage to look at the places where you want to expand and the places where you have already expanded. Because it takes great courage to look at where our sexuality and our sensuality isn't intimate. Because normally it's just the way it is. And we think we're good enough or we're intimate enough. And yet if you're like me or you're like most people, we have a tendency to take certain things for granted, no matter how developed we are. So another part of heart connected sensuality is being vulnerable. And that means if we're frightened, we're openly frightened. If we have a part of ourselves that feels empty or sad, we're able to communicate that with our partners. Now, when I mentioned communication, that's a whole other area of heart connected sensuality, which is that we not only are where we are, but we're actually able to tell our partners, you know what? I'd like to move a little bit slower, or I'd like a little bit more attention on my breasts, or I'd like to be. If you don't mind, I'D like to be able to kiss a little bit more and just notice how you feel about this kind of communication. Are you open to it? Are you afraid of it? And no matter whether you're afraid of it or not, just recognize that you have the choice whether you want to engage this fear and move more towards a connected type of kissing or touching or rhythm. It's also very important that there's a certain kind of stillness and a rhythm that feels very peaceful to you with your heart. Because if it's really so active, then the heart has a tendency to go into the background and pleasure and excitement has a tendency to go into the foreground. So, again, look and see. Do you want to bring more stillness and tenderness and warmth? Just look at which ingredients you'd like to bring more into your love life. Now, perhaps you might also notice that your breathing has been unconscious. You haven't even thought about breathing, or you thought a little bit about breathing, or sometimes you really focus on it and sometimes you don't. Whatever it is, maybe you want to give yourself a little bit more encouragement to breathe with your partner, which will help you feel more connected and more united. And how do you feel about soft eye contact once in a while and just having a nonverbal or perhaps a verbal I love you. I'm grateful for you letting the most pure and innocent parts of your heart actually radiate to each other in the act of making love. One of the most sacred places that can exist in the lovemaking is the wish for the other to be healed. And you can actually have that wish. When you touch different parts of their body that you'd love to, they're back to be relaxed and healed and healthy. You like their shoulders, and maybe you squeeze them in a certain way that they've guided you towards. Now, just notice if this seems or which part of this seems to be attractive to you, sensible to you, intuitive to you, and be appreciative of for anything you're noticing that's lacking. Because that's the place where you really can be pregnant with a greater intimacy and a greater sense of lovemaking. And if you think you know all these things, who cares? What matters isn't what you know, it's how much you practice these things. And none of us can really be that level of love on a reliable basis. And all of us need gentle reminders to be present, to be tender, to be kind, to wish for healing, to communicate, to be gentle. And whatever of these qualities are most wanted by you, let yourself softly reflect on that and bring them into your love life as much as possible.
