Robert Strock explains why calling yourself stupid doesn't help, but saying "I don't like how I treated that person" does. The difference: one is unchangeable character judgment, the other points to something you can actually fix.
Can you see the difference between abstractly judging yourself and specifically judging yourself in an area where you can see clearly whether you can do something about it or not? So if you say I'm stupid or you say I'm inadequate or you say I'm unworthy, there's nothing you can do about it. But if you say I don't like the way I treated so and so in this conversation and they're still alive and I can go back to it, that's criticism, that's valuable. As you see abstract judgments, you say, no, I'm not going to let you judge me and give me a character assassination. You need to give me a chance and tell me specifically what you don't like about me and how I can do it. Or I'm going to say get the hell out of here. And that strength is going to develop. Self compassion. Come join us in the webinar as we go much more deeply into this.
