How to Discover Your Challenging Feelings

Foreign guided meditation is for so many people, the best way to truly gain benefit in your response to personal challenges. As you invest in bringing your own experience to the guided meditations, you'll give yourself the best chance to change long standing patterns from suffering toward a state of well being, peace and healing. It's important to put yourself in a comfortable body position in a private space where you're not disturbed. Turn off your phone and be ready to really be alert. So allow yourself to remember something that sounds obvious but isn't obvious. That you want to guide yourself in a direction that is going to care for you and care for others. And that you have a heart and that you want to activate that heart. And just notice as you hear those words, what it stimulates. Does it stimulate trust? Does it stimulate judgment or inadequacy? Just notice it. Notice what your reactions are and come back to that intention that you know you want to live a life that is kinder towards yourself, that is more courageous, that is more patient, that allows you to live a quality of life that is your potential. And whatever doubts arise, just simply ask, is it really a legitimate question that I want to care for myself? Or is it simply just reactions from life where you get lost and you forget you know somewhere in the depths of your being that you want to care for yourself? And while you're in the response to that, let yourself ask the question, what is the one challenging emotion that is most challenging? And appreciate the fact that you're observing intelligence and that you are being called by it right now for it to be recognized and appreciated. It is asking you to discover what is most difficult so that you can help yourself and recognize that this is utterly paradoxical. Because when you can identify where you feel stuck or where you're buried, you feel like you're in quicksand. It gives you the chance to see that you have a need that isn't met. It also gives you the motivation to deal with an area where a part of you is really struggling. And also to see that if you're unaware of where you're challenged, you're not going to be able to deal with it. So see if you can appreciate the importance of having this simple awareness. But for many, it's not easy to stay focused on it. Realize that by being aware of it, it doesn't reinforce gives you the capacity to move toward, well, being. It doesn't mean that you couldn't be aware of it and just stay fixated on it. But when you find the awareness of it and you also add that crucial element of of course I want to care for myself. Then it becomes obvious that awareness is the beginning of a gold mine, the beginning of building up another part of your heart. It's so important to recognize this is not masochistic or a futile exercise. The point is to see what's hard and to respond in a way that is making even the smallest of steps in a direction of being more fulfilled, peaceful, maybe even inspired. So let yourself keep returning to your challenging feeling and also glimpsing your desire to care for yourself. And ask wise questions as to how you can care for yourself more deeply and sense the possibilities. And let it be utterly personal. This is you being you. Nobody else can do this for you. And you may be discovering anxiety, anger, despair, inadequacy, and only you can choose to guide yourself to be there. Don't be distracted by the words you're hearing. Stay interested in your own inner experience and continue to ask, where do I get stuck or restricted? It's helpful to realize, oh, it's not only that I feel this way, I'm stuck here, I'm restricted here. This is painful. And yes, of course, when I'm aware, I can see, I want to move towards the needs that could help soothe me or strengthen me or give me what I need. You may have words like I really want to guide myself or care for myself. Let yourself ask, what is the specific question that gives me the best chance to help myself, given what I'm feeling or the challenge that I'm facing? And ask yourself that question as I repeat it again. What is the specific question that gives you the best chance to help yourself, given what you're feeling or the challenge that you're facing? What are the thoughts, qualities and actions that are most helpful? And you may just start with the thoughts. And the thoughts will lead you to ideas of qualities or actions that you can take. This awareness gives you the potential not to just be frozen, but to actively care for yourself and the situation you're in. Realize again and again that these questions will break up the cycle of just being in your challenging emotions. And it makes it an alive dynamic where forever. If you get this whenever you're feeling challenged, automatically it sparks the questioner in you that's coming from the observer that knows you need guidance. You need to ask, what way can I find resources or qualities or actions? And it's only interested in your well being. And pay close attention to the tone that you're asking yourself with. If the tone is gentle or kind or strong or emulates what you need, you know that you're already well on your way to finding some of the essence of support. And if you see that the tone isn't, then you want to ask the question again. It's like finding your music, finding your rhythm. Inquiring from the heart when you're not feeling good is a source of great wisdom itself and could also be called contemplation. And contemplation itself can be a state of fulfillment even before you get any answers. Because you can enjoy the live intention of wanting to care for yourself by the tone revealing the caring itself. You might ask, how can I feel courage when I'm afraid? How can I find harmlessness when I'm angry? How can I find trust when I. When I'm confused? Being as exacting about the question as much as you can is an evolution within the evolutionary practice itself. So you want to be as precise as you can with the question without being perfectionistic. You're just doing your very best to ask the question that's central to your difficult feeling. And you want to remind yourself this is not something you just want to do during a meditation. This is a potential lifestyle. You can get wiser for the rest of your life. You can help the world for the rest of your life in whatever small way it might be a smile at the grocery store, it might be a touch on the shoulder. As you ask this question, let it relate more and more to the present and the near future. As you do that, it becomes more grounded. If we go way off into the future, none of us can do that. If we go into the past, none of us can change that. So let it relate more and more to the present and the near future. In the present, it can include things like tone of voice, the exact thoughts you're thinking, your body language, how your eyes look. If it's in the near future, you're looking at the next day or two. What actions might I be able to take? What attitude do I want to bring to this relationship that I'm going to see today? And as you more deeply realize that, you get to be contemplative, not this you should be. Not a moral standard. It's a gift you're giving yourself. It's natural that some gratitude will arise inside you because you found a direction to care for yourself. No matter what state you're in, it will allow you not to be as afraid because you have this capacity that you've been developing where difficult state. Ah, helpful question. And it becomes associated immediately. Why wait? If you remember, you won't want to wait and recognize I get to ask these questions no matter what's happening, no matter what I'm feeling. And as you remember this and practice it, notice if you can see that you'll become more and more liberated and relaxed and trusting and less afraid of whatever's going to come up emotionally. And see if you can add a little appreciation. Because you see that you're going for your own well being through your sincerity, your honesty, humility and strength. And end it with a wish. May I carry this with me throughout my life.