A guide to healing from deep emotional wounds by replacing self-criticism with one question: What is the best way I can take care of myself? The speaker, drawing on clinical counseling experience, shows how asking this repeatedly shifts you toward compassionate action and finding the support you need.
So today we're going to explore what is your greatest wound and what is really needed for your healing. And the greatest insight to guide ourselves is to shift from all these random thoughts that usually are not supportive of us and ask the question, what is the best way I can take care of myself? Now, you might think that's just a small detail, but if you can imagine how many times you're ruminating in thoughts and if you remember, and I'm asking, encouraging you to remember to ask that question, what is the greatest way I can care for myself when I'm dealing with my greatest wound? It will change and pivot the trajectory of your thinking and will deeply affect your feeling as well. Can you glimpse the ramifications of making that pivot? To really asking a question from your heart that wants to care for you by asking a question that will stimulate a part of your intelligence and your wisdom that will just click in. But it's critical that you remember to ask that question and keep your eye on the ball. Because if you're not asking this question and not looking for guidance, you'll go back to those random thoughts that will be critical of your wound, that will be withdrawing from your wound. But if you stay zeroed in here, it's going to really help you stay with something that's going to be a benefit to your life and to those around you. What steps do you need to take to not keep re injuring yourself that you will be able to gain the humility and the courage to face directly by asking this kind of question to yourself? Just take a moment and just ask, do you see the wisdom of shifting to this question and that it's not a minor thing. This is a big deal to shift in your own inner process and become familiar that this can be a lifelong change to be asking a question that's going to benefit you. Now, if you look closely, you'll see that this hasn't been modeled for you by anyone, very likely in your life, where you make the shift that automatically, no matter what you're going through, and in this case we're dealing with your greatest wound, that you're asking that question. It's such a sweet question and such an intelligent question that you yourself can make part of your lifestyle. Now, you may not think it's a big deal, but I'm going to emphasize over and over again this is a life change changing event. If when you're suffering with your wound that you automatically start to dwell, no, no, I don't want to go into this place where I'm criticizing myself. I want to ask that question, what is the greatest way I can take care of my wound? Now, this could be finding some gentleness or statements that you know are good for yourself, like, you know, you want to take care of yourself. You know you don't want to belittle yourself. You know, you want to find ways and people that will support you. And ways might be things like putting your hand on your heart, continuing to ask the question with a gentle tone, and see if you can intuit why this would be of great benefit to you. Now, in my 50 years of counseling, I've found that this shift to ask the question, how can I best take care of my wound? Is going to lead me to a second step. And that second step is all of these flashes of ways that I can take care of myself. And then in these moments, you're making the shift from being critical of yourself to where you're flooding in possible guidance, not only in your own thoughts, but also the people that could most support you. It may be a counselor, it may be a best friend, it may be yourself. And so just repeat to yourself, I want to, very likely for the rest of my life, start to ask questions from my heart that are going to benefit me, because why would I ever want to just add and pile on criticism to myself rather than stimulate the question that's going to bring my heart and wisdom to me. Recognize if you can. It's a joy, it's a sense of well being when you remember this shift, because you know you're now clicked into a direction that's really going to find guidance, the people that need to support you. And it creates a protection inside yourself and creates a kind of sacred space or a kind of place where you will be protected. So I wish this for you, and not only as an insight, but as something that you can practice for the rest of your life.
