How to Identify and Care for your Greatest Wounds

Foreign guided meditation is for so many people, the best way to truly gain benefit in your response to personal challenges. As you invest and bring your own experience to the guided meditations, you'll give yourself the best chance to change long standing patterns from suffering toward a state of well being, peace and healing. It's important to put yourself in a comfortable body position in a private space where you're not disturbed. Turn off your phone and be ready to really be alert. Ask yourself, what's my intention going into this meditation? Are you aware of what you would like to receive? Whether it be self, compassion, kindness, strength, humility? See if you can become aware of what your greatest wish or your intention is. And it doesn't really matter whether it's one or the other of those. What does matter is that the intention is a part of your heart. And if that evokes a click, then enjoy the click. Yes, I am wanting to join this meditation to open up a part of my heart. And if it leads you into self doubt, then just notice it. And then ask again, isn't there a part of me that wants to move toward well being? You wouldn't be listening to any meditation unless you had that part. So stay focused on the part of you that has the intention to move more toward some element of caring. And then ask the question, what is my most difficult emotion that I'm facing now or near now? That's such a great starting point because wherever you're feeling free and good and peaceful and strong doesn't need any help. The only thing that needs help is where you're challenged. It's not out of being morose, it's out of being courageous. It's out of being humble. It's out of being honest that you're asking, what is your number one most challenging emotion? Because you want to grow, because you want to find a way to support either that challenging feeling or perhaps it's a challenging situation. And let that awareness of the feeling or the situation be as clear and as crisp all the way through and not be distracted by the words that are being spoken. So as you ask that question again, see if you can have the question penetrate deep in your body, not just be in your head, not just be intellectual. You're looking for clues and cues and sensations. When you ask, what is the most challenging emotion and can I find a place inside me that wants to care for me? And as you penetrate into a deeper layer of yourself, realize that that observer can guide you to be in your body and really ask what's challenging and Would I rather care for myself or would I rather give myself a hard time? Because it's conscious? That becomes a silly question. But the unconscious doesn't know the difference between a silly question and a profound question. So recognize asking it consciously is going to help you immensely because it's going to guide you to the obvious. Of course I want to care for myself. And I can even see that if I'm in a better state, it will help everyone around me. I'll either be speaking for more wisdom or more heart or more of both. So we're going to be going to two questions. The first one is how are you doing inside yourself? And you're gravitating toward whatever isn't a state of well being. But you start to fall at least in like, if not love. And the question of how, how are you doing? Because implicitly it means that you care. You care enough to ask. Remembering and seeing around you. This is not the common way people interact with each other. To say, how are you doing inside yourself? They might ask, how are you looking for good or fine? This is different. This is like a mri, scanning your body and really being interested. And it may sound simple and trivial, but it's so rarely a lifestyle. It's frequently not even a vacation. So appreciate that you're taking a few moments just to start off by seeing that you're interested in how you are. You're not looking for a story, you're not looking for a lot of content. You're looking for an emotional state, like empty or frustrated or impatient or meaninglessness or agitation, anger, helplessness. That list probably sounds like a downer, but what it is is a form of pregnancy where you see a potential birth that hasn't happened because the need is frustrated, which has left you in all those states. All of those states are frustrated needs. So as you're asking how you're doing and you're focusing on the challenging aspects, you're wanting to give birth to where you're hurting, to where you're suffering. And by asking this question, you're opening up all the possibilities. So you want to look at your subtleties. How does your body feel? Is it tight? Is it relaxed? Let yourself breathe, which allows you to feel it more distinctly. And when I say breathe, I mean breathe a little bit more into your belly if possible, and notice are you motivated or unmotivated? Maybe you're starting off with only a little bit of motivation. Or maybe you're quite committed to want to discover how you are. And getting to the second question, which is going to deepen it further. So notice, are you high energy or low energy? Are you judging yourself or accepting? Peaceful? Are you inspired? Are you empty or neutral? And whatever other description you would give, just accept it. Treat it as if it's your precious awareness of what is real. It's important. And the reason why is that it's one of the few ways we can guide and support ourselves by addressing what isn't fulfilled. And especially with staying aware and finding that place inside us that wants to care. The amazing partnership awareness of what's challenging and finding place that wants to care. Almost none of us were taught this and if we're not in touch with how we are, how can we possibly support ourselves? And the answer is we can't. So this first question can be asked on a minute to minute basis. Hour to hour, day to day, Whatever your capacity is is a central part of your life. Practice, whether you know it or not. And it's not a contest, it's not a competition. Just notice how much you aspire to ask and check in with yourself how are you really doing? Which will give you cues as to how you might respond wherever you are. If we pay attention closely, we're going to see that none of us are the same all the time, even though it's common for people to appear the same. So let yourself savor your awareness of sensing the experience of where you are. This actual sensation of where you are and the awareness of it, and this urge or longing to care for yourself might be a very superior definition to who you are. This capacity to be one with where you are is a very fruitful, profound and hopeful place to be because it gives you the unknown to move yourself in a direction toward what you really need. This naturally leads us to the second question after I'm aware of how I am, how can I most support myself given how I feel and the conditions that I'm facing? Again, the second question, which hopefully is something that is planted inside you for the rest of your life. How can I most support myself given how I feel and the conditions I'm facing now? Normally we just feel something and we don't remember to ask the question to bring out the wisest, most caring parts of ourselves. This is a process that's asking you to be your best self. And you may just recognize no matter how I'm doing, I always want to support myself and nurture myself. Not putting frosting on garbage, but caring for myself in a way that that's going to lead to well being and healing for myself. And significant others, and recognizing that these two questions are the foundations of giving a best chance to you living a fulfilling, potentiated life that is grounded in your actual experience, it's very helpful that we genuinely breathe into our actual feeling state and are honest, humble and trusting. The truth of our experience is more important than our image or what we project out into the world with our words, facial expressions, or even what we normally think about ourselves. The smaller the gap between what we actually experience inside and the words that we find to describe our experience, the greater the gift we can give ourselves because we can relate to what is most real inside and not be fooled even by our own ideas. We can override our own thinking in how we normally respond when we habitually say, I'm fine, I'm good, which is an abstraction, an automatic pilot answer that so frequently in our society we give to each other. If we listen for a while as we ask these questions, we'll inevitably notice that we have parts of our inner experience that we keep private or even rarely visit ourselves. This is real gold in the making as it gives us the extra raw materials or energy to give more options and optimism that we need to direct our attention toward. It inspires the question how to care for ourselves in ways that are frequently overlooked. Just notice if you want to plant a seed to remember to ask these two questions. How are you? And how can I care for myself? For many, it's hard to have the faith, the humility, and the courage to take a fresh, open look at ourselves without wanting to repeat our idea or that we've had about ourselves. However, see if you can't plant that seed to do your best to imagine that you can take care of whatever you discover much better than by letting it stay in solitary confinement. Now, as I say these words, I smile because we have this potential to take ourselves out of jail, out of solitary confinement, and bring life to what is challenging and bring healing and qualities of our heart and our deepest needs to wherever we are. So see if you can appreciate your sincerity that is there and that you want it to grow. See if you can appreciate that and if not, be curious why. And as you look, there is a sincerity that you need to connect with and to appreciate and let it grow throughout the rest of your life. May that be so.