Inspiring LoveRelationship Part 5

Could you talk a little bit about how much you would like to feel Justin's feeling levels more? I mean, just to him.

I mean, that's. That's what I've been asking for this whole time. And when I feel frustrated, I actually feel angry because I feel like when I ask for that, you associate it on some level with being asked growing up to be emotional or to open up. And that's not what this is about for me. I. It's like sometimes I just want to reach over and shake. You just feel like, are you kidding me? Do you really think that I'm just so emotional and you're not open up already. Like, you know, I can be even. Yeah, I might have tears streaming down my face, but my tears are not just about me. And the ones that are about me, I'm willing and ready and wanting to just set those aside, you know, sometimes my tears are for you. I really feel bad that you just don't feel like you have a place where you can just open up and just have space to be free with that. I can't imagine what it's like to have to have to contain it on such a level that it's not even conscious. And I really. I really want that. As much as you want peace, I really want that. And I'm really tired of being set up to be the one who's so emotional, because I am a very emotional person. But I don't feel like I'm quite what I'm being set up to be. And I really want to be there for you.

And.

And I. I don't know how, but when you say you want peace and you just want that space. What I imagined when we had our interaction, what I really wanted was just to put my arms around you and just to. Just to be what I envisioned that you need. And I don't feel like I have that opportunity to ever give to you in that way. And that that's what I really want for you and for me. I don't really see our relationship fully working out. Ideally, if that doesn't happen on both of our parts, me trying to be more peaceful and you having the courage to open up more.

I just want to be clear that opening up is really good news. It's like it almost sounds like, well, you have to open up, but really from an impulse level, from a getting to receive what you most want and need in life, this is like, you get to open up, you get to receive more attention. You get to have an evening of peace. If you'll be a protector for yourself. A lot of what's happening is your internal strength of protecting for yourself isn't activated. It's in a semi mute button. And so this is all potential benefit to your life. And it's a matter of permission. It's a matter of encouragement. Now, coming back to what you said when you said at one point, you don't know what to do. I know. You do know what to do, which is to spend more moments just creating an invitation where there is a containment and not falling prey to the tendency to fill in the space with what you're going through. And I think. I think the. I think the key thing is, are you game to experiment? It's clear at first for both of you, it will feel a little bit unnatural and contrived because we're talking about breaking literally a completely lifelong pattern where you're used to feeling whatever you feel and just being open about it in a way that's extremely unusual. And you're used to being in a state of relative peace and evenness that's also equally very unusual. And both of them in our society are actually great strengths and great qualities for a therapist or counselor or a human being or a lover or a friend or a family member to have. So we're talking about two unique gifts that you both have. And you both possess the opposite gift, which makes you potentially the very perfect match as a couple, because you together have it all. For you to have the permission that Jody does to feel everything that you feel, and then, therefore, to guide you to the quality of life that you want and to have that strength to ask for it. And for you to be able to be in a state of being where you realize, you know what, you're already exquisite as you are. And to have that kind of internal peace, you know, just balances everything out because you get to be authentic and you get to recognize your own lovingness and compassion and peacefulness on an internal level without having to do anything. You don't have to always earn it. Your accumulation of who you are, your integrity, structure, it's plenty. And you basically have a right to the piece that you want. And you have a right to be intense and passionate about wanting the vibration and the frequency you're in, to be more supported by the external world. Not only with Jody, but with everyone.

Around you, because you have that wisdom.

To give to everyone. It's like, hey, I'm just kind of in this easygoing, friendly, affectionate state of being.

I think I'm hardwired to believe women can't be that way and some men can. But like, it's hard to trust that that's even a potential that's realistic.

Exactly.

So that distrust is, you know, in psychological terms, as we all are familiar with, is a repetition compulsion, which means basically that we're repeating an idea we learned in our past that we don't think that someone can change. So you feel like forever a woman can ever keep an equilibrium and really allow your inner reality to be the focus of attention for an enduring period of time before reflecting back on herself. And of course, by you being hyper rational, you're unwittingly creating that self fulfilling prophecy.

Right, I get that your awareness gets.

That, but your being doesn't. Yet. And when you say I get that, it's only if the harmony goes and has a really, really high frequency level that you get it.

Because the I that gets it is.

Only the awareness and only the mind. It's not the being.

It's not.

Yeah, no, it's not integrated.

It's not integrated, it's not passionate. Yet here I am. I thought I was really developed by being in this apparent calm, but actually I'm in a state of suppression. Actually, I'm in a state of muting my fear, my frustration, my. My impatience, my anger, my intolerance, my judgments. And I'm not in a state of openly saying, can I just have the permission and freedom? Are you in a place where you feel clear enough and strong enough, where you can just let me be the center of attention and let me just ventilate? And so one night you come back and you're wanting to have just a peaceful time. And Jody's saying, God, I'm really nervous about what's happening with, with this or that. And inside you're starting to go, oh, God, not one more anxious feeling, please. And then you went, oh, that's right. That's my arrogance. Oh, that's right. That's my ego structure. That's not as together as I think it is. And then what you do is you go, okay, let me just share with you. And then you do a version of representing the maniacal presentation like I did, where I'm really like unleashing and going, you know, not one more feeling. You know, I'm tired of your feelings. Would you just be peaceful and let me come home and just let me just chill. And you realize, oh, I get to reach this place inside me. And you know what? It's kind of fun.