A guided meditation that helps you notice shame, guilt, and inadequacy as forms of self-rejection, then shift toward self-compassion. The speaker asks whether you care for yourself when you feel these things, and shows how repeated practice rewires your response.
Moving from self rejection towards self compassion. Take a look for the feeling that you most dislike. These are inevitably feelings like feeling rejected, anxious, angry, impatient, terrified, empty, or perhaps lonely. When we don't like our feelings, it's a form of self rejection. Is that clear? Can you see that? If you don't like, when you feel frightened, that means there's a part of you that is either judging it, or perhaps you just simply are withdrawing from yourself. If we stay aware of these forms of self rejection, it opens a possible door. We could move toward caring for ourselves. If we're devoted, can move toward acceptance, kindness. But if we're unaware that we're having these kinds of self rejection, there's no impetus to move toward the part of ourselves that could be kind, accepting and self compassionate. Self rejection isn't primarily about just the critic. The more obvious critical thoughts in our mind. What we're looking for are feelings that come from rejection, shame, guilt, inadequacy, even withdrawal or suppression. These states, these feelings, are some of the most painful forms of ways that we abandon ourselves and judge ourselves. Ask yourself the best diagnostic question. Do you care for yourself? When you feel, then you can fill in the next words. When you feel angry, when you feel frightened, when you feel abandoned, when you feel lonely, do you care for yourself? And if the answer is no, then you can be assured that you're caught in another level of self rejection and you probably don't normally notice. When we're aware, we can ask, how can I shift from self rejection and the feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy and make a move toward acceptance, kindness and tenderness? This opens up a brand new way to explore. We need to stay aware of these things, feelings, and see that they actually are a form of rejection. So it inspires us to look for ways to more deeply care for ourselves. We need to be inspired to see these subtle forms of self rejection and let it motivate us to seek a caring instinct. Can we feel these longings? As you hear these words, as you hear that you're rejecting yourself in these feelings, does it evoke a part of you that would prefer to care for yourself? Hopefully it does. Maybe something like I want to care for myself when I normally reject myself in all these ways. This is a time when we could be quite discouraged. When we're in these deep feelings that are shaming and feeling inadequate, it's very hard to glibly find a direction that would be healing. And so it's so important that we rely a bit on our friendly mind that will tell us. Hang in there. This is a long process. This is going to take practice to really plant new seeds. The key is we can recognize the self rejection and give ourselves a chance to move the opposite way. But we can't have an instant fix. There is no substitute for practice. Without awareness we don't even have a chance to practice. We may want to end this with a question. Do I care for myself when I feel the most sad, the most helpless, the most angry, the most lonely or whatever it is that you you feel you dislike the most? When the answer is no, let it be like a Pavlovian response. I want to explore ways in my thinking, actions and heart that will support and care for me when I have these difficult feelings. That is who I am becoming. That is who I am wish to keep growing into. This is what I want to encourage at these most difficult times. I want to use this counterintuitive language at these times of greatest need. Again, it is a mini miracle whenever we can reverse ourselves from what we most dislike to look for what we most need.
