Moving From Withdrawal to Engagement Guided Meditation

So just start by putting your tension a couple inches behind your eyes, just above your eyes, and just feel what that part of your head feels like as you give it attention. And just notice whether your brow is tightened at all or whether you have a sense of just being an open field. Just let your attention rest there for a few seconds where you're interested in just being in the experience of being above your eyes, inside your head, feeling the sensation of that whole cavity inside your brain. And then let yourself ask the question. Now that you've identified yourself as someone that has some issues with withdrawal, just ask the question, where do I most often withdraw in my life in a way that it affects my. Well, so scan the key relationships that are in your life and notice how you might withdraw by simply not engaging in conversation. The same way you might withdraw by having your tone of voice be not as warm. You might withdraw by not being as physically affectionate as you might otherwise be. You might withdraw by simply tightening your muscles a little bit and not having interest in what the conversation is. But whatever way it is, just give your attention on the most frequent way and ways that you withdraw in the key relationships of your life. And start with one that comes out where you can sense how you withdraw. And it might be that you've been in a state of withdrawal since you woke up for days, weeks, maybe even a good portion of your life. It might be something that you learned from prior generations. It might not even be something that you've particularly focused on. But now you can see that you have this pattern or habit of disengaging, being part of the fight flight syndrome, where you're fleeing from intimacy and closeness and vulnerability and exchange of energy, and instead are moving into a more separated, overly autonomous experience. And that you're having the courage to see yourself in this pattern of imbalance because you really want to find a way to improve your quality of life. So just notice what the conditions are that most reinforce the feeling of you being withdrawn. Maybe there's a certain attitude, maybe a habit on your part. Maybe it's certain actions that happen that reinforce your sense of withdrawal. And again, appreciate that you're heightening your awareness enough to see what you might not normally see as clearly. Now notice as you're starting to look more deeply into your own withdrawal from other people, that a very high percentage of the time that you're withdrawing from other people, you're also withdrawing from the finest qualities of your own heart, that you're actually losing some contact with a sense of, well, being inside yourself as well, and that you're paying a price. And this internal withdrawal from yourself might be in the sense of having joy or inspiration or affection, pleasure, light heartedness could be any particular positive way. But it's so helpful to realize that when you withdraw from another so frequently, you withdraw from yourself. And that becomes further incentive to want to notice it, so that you can start to engage in a way that's going to stir your own heart and theirs as well. So as you look at the one or two ways that are most affecting you now, where you withdraw, start to visualize yourself engaging, embracing, expressing a tone of voice. Visualize what would be the healing of the withdrawal, the way that you would engage that would actually allow you to have a sense of connectedness and have that extra benefit of connecting you also with you to your most essential sense of self. So appreciate the paradox of withdrawal itself, that when you are aware of withdrawal, you become also immediately aware of the capacity to, in an essential way to engage with yourself and the other around you. And that it truly is a state of awareness to seek, seek out and keep you really inspired in watching your own inner world.