Robert explains why he stopped doing things out of obligation and started choosing activities he actually wanted. He spent decades avoiding dancing because of embarrassment, then finally did it anyway. The shift wasn't about forcing himself into discomfort, just being 51% willing to try.
Where do you draw the line between letting life happen versus seeking out things just to try and find that part of yourself? Why go to parties? Well, first thing is, I don't go to many parties. And where I draw the line is really there has to be a real desire to be a part of something. So if I don't have some degree of an instinct to move towards something, I don't usually do it. Now, my most recent example was, which only took me about 45 years to get over, was overcoming spontaneously a self consciousness with dancing. And because I was traumatized when I was 13 by my closest friends laughing at me the way I was dancing, I basically didn't fast dance. Not much slow dancing either, but didn't fast dance until six months ago. And I finally reached a place inside myself where this was one of my deepest embarrassments of looking like a fool. So I finally reached a place where a part of me was game to be, not good at it, to feel embarrassed, and yet there being enough ease to kind of move towards it. So I actually had enough desire. I had 51% of me that moved me into it. But I never, like a daredevil, go out of my way looking for really unpleasant situations to try to prove something to myself. So it only took me 45 years. So you're not going bungee jumping anytime soon? I don't know for sure, but probably not.
