A guided meditation on using anger to find what you actually need. Stay with the anger without judgment, notice the vulnerable feelings underneath like fear or rejection, then identify what's missing: maybe sensitivity, communication, or touch. The shift moves you from being against something toward actively seeking what helps.
Awareness that heals, episode 142. Very warm welcome to the fifth episode of Caring for and Responding to Our Anger and a series of seven guided meditations. So now let yourself get into a comfortable position and prepare yourself for the start of the guided meditation. Remember that the first step is always being aware and being aware of your anger or your emotion that's related to anger. So let yourself identify and feel into whatever your most significant place is that's angry or related to anger. So even as I'm talking, keep letting yourself go into the experience of where you're angry. And as you're doing this, recognize that of course you don't want to be critical of yourself and set up yourself to suppress it. And recognize that you want to care for yourself. You don't want to unnecessarily force yourself to suppress the anger or make yourself even angrier. So allow yourself to stay aware of the anger and then just have a little voice that says, I want to support you anger, because I know you are juicy and you're really a form of aliveness, and I want to support you to be there. And I know you're safe because I'm learning how to make you safe. And that leads you naturally to a place of containment, to where you know you don't want to act it out, and you know you don't want to suppress it. And you know you want to discover what it is that you feel, stay aware of it, and find the unique vulnerable feelings that you have. And it could be feelings like fear or abandonment, insecurity, rejection, and allow yourself to feel both the anger and the vulnerable feelings. And then we're going to go to the next level, the fifth step, which is what is it that you actually needed in the first place that made you angry because you got something you didn't want or you didn't get what you did want. Now see if you can make that connection. You're angry or you're frustrated or whatever your feeling is because you didn't get something you need, or what is it that you need. And if you can't discover what you need, it's worth going to awarenesstheals.org and discover the needs. And when you discover your need, treasure that. Recognize that that need is the key of having you start to move from being against something or someone to being for what you actually need. So, for example, you may have needed sensitivity, you may have needed communication, you may have needed someone to touch you. So whatever the need is, that's the beginning of you making this turn, I'm going to go for what I need rather than fight against what I don't like. See if you can get the service to yourself and everyone you're close to. If you can find this almost magical way of learning how to go from against to for. And the four is not only what you need, but unquestionably finding a way that is going to also take care of the person you're involved with. So just pause, feel the anger. Feel how you've found a way to make it harmless, and how you've discovered your vulnerability. And then this pure need. And knowing that in the next step in the sixth meditation, we're going to start to go into how can you take care of that need and be for something in your life, rather than locked in to being against? So I invite you, and please join us for the sixth guided meditation.
