Using Fear to Find Courage and Peace - Article By Robert Strock

Thank you very much for joining us. As we address the question, how can we deal with fear to support ourselves, to find courage and peace without suppressing the fear itself? Really, the best description would be embracing fear to unlock courage, which is our key to resilience. Fear and courage might seem like very unlikely bedfellows, but as you'll see, they become a source of transforming the fear itself to have it work for us rather than against us. In the aftermath of the recent election, I found myself grappling with a profound sense of fear and anxiety. It was as though the very fabric of our country was unraveling, and I couldn't shake the nagging fear that we might be veering dangerously close to a dictatorship. And as I sat with these emotions, I realized something equally powerful was rising within me. After a few hours, a deep well of courage and fire. Despite the fear, there was an undeniable surge of energy, a drive to step up and support the world in the best way I could. Both emotions, fear and courage, coexisted within me with an intensity that seemed almost contradictory. When friends asked me how I was doing in the wake of the election, I responded jokingly that I felt like a balanced and stable schizophrenic. Now, of course, I didn't mean this in any clinical sense, but instead I was trying to express the overwhelming internal split I was experiencing. It was as if two very different parts of me were appearing to be at war. One filled with paralyzing fear and the other bursting with fierce resolve. This internal conflict reminded me of something I had experienced before, something I'd become quite familiar with, the feeling of fear when waiting for essential health results. Every time I face this uncertainty, fear and anxiety would come rushing in without fail. I imagine that you, as you look at your life, can have areas where fear and or anxiety came rushing in in a similar way. So I'm asking you to really look at your own life, because that's what's important. Not what I'm saying so much, but more how it applies to you over time. As I went through this cycle repeatedly, something shifted. I realized that fear wasn't helping me, it was draining me, especially when I just had it in a one dimensional way. So I made a conscious choice. I decided not to feed the fear. Instead, I would focus on trust. I told myself that whatever the outcome, there was nothing I could do about it right now, so I might as well try to distract myself and focus on other things. Much to my surprise, I realized this didn't work. Coexisting with fear it turned out fuels my essential need to care for myself. So how does this work? So here's the strange thing. When I consciously chose not to engage with my fear, I noticed that I began to feel drained, sluggish and disconnected. At first I didn't understand it, but over time I realized that suppressing my fear didn't make it disappear. It just left me feeling empty, as if my vitality was leaking out of me. Have you ever experienced a time when you tried to push a feeling away only to discover that it didn't vanish, it simply drained your energy? Now, if you haven't noticed that, I'm encouraging you to take a close look because this is a major key. Maybe you don't remember. However, it's very likely that it's happened to you and everybody as well. This was a turning point for me. A pivotal moment that accelerated an ongoing process of self discovery. I realized how important it is to feel everything that arises within me and within us, especially the difficult emotions. There is power in fully experiencing our feelings. Not only is it vital on an emotional level, but it's also energetically invigorating. The energy we often avoid is the very energy that can fuel us. Do you sort of get that? If you don't suppress the feeling and you don't completely indulge in it, it can give us energy. Over time, I developed a practice of accepting and witnessing my emotions. It wasn't enough to just feel them, I had to honor them too. When I feel fear, for instance, I now say something like, I accept you, fear. Take all the time you need. I'm sorry for any resistance I may have towards you. I know you are my vitality and it's essential that I embrace you fully. I won't let you control me, but I will feel you fully for as long as you are here. And I will also ask this critical question. How can I care for myself while I feel this fear again? Feeling the fear fully and asking the question, how can I care for myself? And then find the wisdom I need to stay grounded and focused with as I get the answers to that question of how I can care for myself? Most often it will suggest accessing courage and doing the best I can to have a coexistence with fear and courage and. And a vacillation, but not to forget that I'm also capable of courage. Because fear makes us feel like we're doomed and it's over. And it tries to be a monopoly, but it doesn't have to be a monopoly. That is the essential quality that we need to dig deep for in our heart to find. How can I manifest courage when I'm afraid? Now, as you ask that question, do you like asking the question? I really hope so. Can you imagine yourself asking that question when you're afraid? Not only to do with the election, but just in life? Can you get the principle of feeling the fear and asking the question of how you can respond to it in a way that's going to support you? And in this case, with fear, with courage. There's a particular paradox here. Something miraculous happens when we allow our feelings to be felt fully without suppressing or indulging them excessively. We find ourselves with greater access to energy and vitality and stop getting lost in them. Instead, we begin a unique coexistence with them. It's as if we're saying to ourselves, I am both present with my emotions and beyond them. I can feel you fully fear, and yet I am not lost in you. I see you for what you are energy. And I choose to use that energy wisely. Using it wisely is allowing the fear to be the way it is and asking for guidance to find our courage. Do you sort of get it? This is the key. We don't have to avoid or repress our emotions, but. But we also don't let them dominate our lives. Instead, we can use our inquiring mind with a question and find the wisdom to navigate the feelings. We can engage with our feelings without allowing them to take control of our thoughts and actions. It's about finding a delicate balance where we don't suppress our our emotions, yet we don't let them hijack our ability to think clearly or act purposefully. Let's return to the fear I felt after the election. This fear will likely persist for a long time. It's not going away anytime soon. And that's what I thought to myself. It's so important to not to feel like we have to get over our feelings. But that doesn't mean I have to be overwhelmed by it. The breakthrough comes when we allow our fear to coexist with our sense of inquiry or asking questions that will lead to resilience and purposeful thoughts and actions. We can acknowledge fear, be thankful for its warnings, and still find the energy and clarity to do what needs to be done. This is true with fear in all circumstances in our life and not limited in any way to just the election. Can you now summon up an area where you're afraid and ask the question? And don't forget, how can I find my. My courage and Stay with the question. What actions and thoughts would be courageous? What conversations are needed? Can you feel the swing or the potential swing from fear to courage? As you look at any fear you have, just take a few seconds and just see if you can identify a fear and just start to see a co connection with fear and courage existing at the same time. Here's what this might look like in practice. You first acknowledge and accept the emotion fear. I see you. You're alerting me to danger and I appreciate your vigilance. But I don't need to dwell on you. I can feel you and still choose my independent thoughts and actions. I can add heartfelt questioning. I embrace you fear, yet you do not control me. I am free to ask myself, how can I best take care of myself now? And how can I take affection active in whatever way is needed? What while you continue to be there? We can use fear as fuel. It's natural to feel fear in these circumstances and I'm grounded in my authenticity and can channel this energy into thoughts, actions and attitudes that will help me move forward. I can stay focused on my higher purpose. You can stay focused on your higher purpose. I recognize that fear can easily pull me into a spiral or future oriented thoughts. But I choose to stay present or in the near future I'll acknowledge my fear while focusing on my purpose and the things I can control. Now and in the near future. I can also be kind to myself. You can be kind to yourself when you fall out of balance. I say this to myself. I know I will sometimes struggle to maintain this balance and that's okay. I'm human. When I lose my balance, I gently encourage myself to realign with my feeling. The feeling and inquiring how to find courage and follow this wisdom and purpose. And when I need support from significant others, I seek it. I will connect with mentors, friends, guides who will help me stay grounded in my feelings while supporting me and finding clarity and purpose. Now recognize if it's not common that people know this skill. So you may have to do a lot of this work yourself. But if you're lucky enough to have a counselor or a guide, it's really helpful to have someone that would also mirror this for you. I say to myself I want to surround myself with people or a person who can hold space for both my fears and the wisdom. Living with fear is not about getting rid of it or pushing it away. It's about allowing it to exist alongside our capacity for wisdom and action. Key line here. Fear is a messenger, not a master. I'm going to repeat that. Fear is a messenger, not a master. As we fully feel our emotions without letting them hijack our lives, we open the door to a more profound sense of vitality and purpose. And that is a most significant breakthrough for all of us. May we all wish for this. I do. And thank you for giving this your attention.