A guided meditation that walks you through a body scan, then asks you to recall a moment you resisted something. Notice what you felt: impatience, frustration, anger. What came before? Anxiety, emptiness, rejection. Watch it all without judgment.
So just start off by scanning your jaw and just sensing how much tension or relaxation there is without judgment. And always give permission for relaxing whatever you become aware of in your body as much as possible. And then just let your awareness go to your forehead, your temples, and just sense how do they feel? Are they relaxed? Are they easy? Are they strained? Take a great interest, just an awareness of how much tension, how much relaxation you're holding there. And finally, just let yourself put your attention on your shoulders and see how much your shoulders are leaning forward. Just kind of relaxed in a natural state. Allow yourself to be held in a way that's going to be nurturing for you. And then just ask yourself the question, when was the last time that you can remember when you were in a resistance state that had some significance that is likely to be one that's going to repeat. And with as much gentle awareness as possible. Take a look at your own resistant emotions, whether it be impatience or frustration or irritation, annoyance, anger, judgment, moralism, sarcasm. Just allow yourself to be in a certain kind of appreciative awareness that you can see. Ah, yes, here is a place where I have a resistant emotion or perhaps even a series of resistant emotions. And recognize that this awareness is an act of courage and an act of peace and integrity. Because it takes courage to be willing to not idealize your ego. And it creates peace and the possibility for peace when you can see your own resistance more clearly. And it is so dignified to be able to be a witness and be neutral and see yourself as you are and as you're visualizing, see if you can remember the words or the body language or the tone of voice or the muscular tension that you carried at this particular time and just feel into it. This is a time where it's completely safe to just allow yourself, if anything, to exaggerate it and just allow the feelings to be exactly as they were with maybe a little extra. Take a look at whether in that situation you were justifying why you felt the way you felt, whether you were rationalizing. Well, it's because he. It's because she. And for this moment right now, just give it up. Just give it up and just recognize that that's the state you are in. And don't let the rationalization or the justification grab. Let the experience of the tension and the resistant feelings just be there as they are and just spend more time sincerely looking and feeling these feelings with no judgments, recognizing that the sincerity mixed in with the resistance is the alchemy, is the healing, is what's really going to allow your life to thrive. Sincerity with resistance and awareness. And as you look more closely, see if you can see or notice a constellation of feelings. You might notice that in addition to the resistance, you felt something before that. What did you feel before this started? Just notice. Did you feel anxious? Did you feel empty? Did you feel alone? Did you feel flat? Did you feel frightened? Did you feel rejected? Whatever the feelings are, just be appreciative and aware and glad that you can see it. Congratulate yourself on being able to have awareness and encourage yourself to be as truly accepting as possible. If you're embarrassed or ashamed, recognize you have great company. That's what the whole human world is doing. But hopefully you recognize as you're sitting here now that being proud or trusting yourself is a much more natural response to using your awareness in this way. And recognize that this is a true key to creating intimacy. That you being able to witness this much more clearly, so clearly that you'll be able to have impact on its future and the way it acts out is going to allow you to be intimate in your life. And perhaps you can end with a small prayer that's just saying to yourself, may I appreciate this awareness of this resistant feeling as much as possible in the future, may I carry this awareness with me. May I recognize it's a blessing for me and those around me.
