Ben Wise explains the Franklin Effect: asking someone you dislike for a small favor can make them like you more. Benjamin Franklin borrowed a rare book from a rival, who became his friend. The brain resolves cognitive dissonance by shifting attitudes to match actions, so craft short, flattering requests for advice or quick reviews instead of direct asks.
To win someone over, you should do them a quick favor, right? Wrong. In fact, sucking up usually makes people respect you less. So if you want to turn an enemy into an ally, you have to do the exact opposite. You have to make them do something for you. Now, Benjamin Franklin—yes, that Ben Franklin—used this exact move to transform a bitter rival into a lifelong friend. This is the Franklin Effect. And it's about to ruin every bad networking attempt you've ever witnessed. Now, Franklin had a rival who just despised him. He was the kind of guy who would accidentally leave you off email chains that you needed to be on. For a whole year, Franklin tried different ways to improve that relationship with no luck. Then one night, Franklin lay awake thinking about the issue, and suddenly he was hit with a brilliant idea. He jumped out of bed and wrote to this rival, praising him for his massive private book collection and asked to borrow a rare book. The rival was so flattered by Franklin's interest and appreciation for his collection that he sent it to him immediately. And then the next time that they met, this former enemy acted like they were just old friends. So here's the psychology behind it. It's called cognitive dissonance. When your actions don't match your beliefs, Our brain just freaks out. The rival thought, "I hate this guy, but I just helped him. Why would I help someone I dislike?" So to make it match, his brain rewrote the story. "Actually, that Franklin guy is pretty sharp. I've always liked him." Your brain will literally change your feelings to match your actions. But here is where people screw up. They ask for favors that feel like work. "Could you review my 20-slide presentation?" That's not flattering. That's a pain in the ass. If the favor takes them more than 10 minutes, it's not a favor. It's homework. You want to trigger their ego, not their to-do list. If you get this wrong, you'll actually damage the relationship. So let's see how this works. First, think of your sales meetings. Most people just vomit buzzwords. "Let's synergize on a robust solution to unlock unprecedented value." The prospect ends up with their eyes crossed, wondering if you've swallowed a corporate dictionary. So flip it. How about, "I've been studying the compliance nightmare in your industry. You're the expert. Am I reading this trend correctly?" You see that shift? Instead of being pitched at like a credit card, you're consulting them like the veteran or expert that they are. You've asked for their opinion. Now they're psychologically invested in your success. 10 minutes later, they'll be co-authoring your presentation because advocating for you means advocating for themselves and their ideas. All right, second, in internal politics, you know that VP who never has time for you? They just communicate in one-word Slack messages. Now, your traditional approach might be to go up and say, hey, here's what I can do for your department. But they've heard this from 17 people this quarter already. So instead, try, I'm finalizing my presentation and I loved your recent market analysis. Could you check my summary slide for blind spots? Now they're not being asked for money. They're being asked to share their wisdom. And once they give their input, they're invested in your success. When you present and quote some of their insights, guess who's going to be backing you up? I'll make you a bet. Try this once in the next week. I guarantee that they will treat you differently. You will literally rewire their brain so they see you as an ally. So find one opportunity to ask for advice, but don't ask for something they can Google. Ask for their unique insight. Make it effortless to say yes, but meaningful enough that they feel valued. Then tell me in the comments below what happened. Did they respond faster? Were they more engaged? Let's prove that 10 minutes of their brainpower makes them start rooting for your success. Here's the bottom line. Real influence isn't manipulation. It's showing respect for expertise that actually matters. When you ask for their opinion, you're saying, I trust your judgment. You're not a line item for them. You become a character in their story. And that shift from transaction to collaboration is where real relationships are born. So if you're ready for genuine influence instead of generic tactics, subscribe today for applied psychology that actually works at work. We're decoding what makes people tick one insight at a time. See you in the next video.
