Getting Through Pain... Together.

Foreigna Castro.

And you've tuned into leaders with a mission. And today I have someone who is gonna take your breath away. So let me tell you a little bit about her. Her name is Betsy Guerra. Dr. Betsy Guerra is a leader with a mission to bring hope to those that are grieving after going through the most excruciating pain imaginable. Two moms, she rose and has devoted her life to elevating others. She's a bilingual psychotherapist, speaker, and author.

Of Hurt to hope.

She's also a devoted wife and a mother of four. But above all, Betsy is a woman of faith. She combines her 20 years of clinical experience with divine wisdom to help clients and audiences turn their pain into purpose and their struggles into strengths. And with you, Dr. Betsuguera.

How are you, Dr. Betsuguero? Thank you, Diana. I'm doing fantastic and very happy to be here. I am so excited.

I have an admiration to you, to the way that you walk the walk, to the fact that you've rosen from something that, to me, is just unimaginable. So can you tell us a little bit about that story that defines how you create light in the world now that you've transformed it? Can you please share to us a little bit about that?

So I suddenly lost my daughter 80 years ago, and I found myself in a darkness and in an excruciating pain that made me believe that I could never be happy again and that I just. I couldn't live without her. I live and love my family so much. I just couldn't. I just didn't think I could go on. But I have faith. And I have faith not just in God, although that's where everything for me stems from. But faith in the people supporting me, faith in myself, faith in the process, and faith in what seems impossible. And I feel that the faith, combined with my clinical background and the support that I had around me, they all combined to remind me that everything is possible. So I tapped into all those resources. And I remember the day after my daughter passed. I was in my walking closet, hiding from the people, from the crowd. And the priest who baptized my children, whom I love dearly, came to visit us, and he sat down with us on the floor. And my husband was. Father, you've seen this before. Is it possible to be happy again? Can we be happy again? And he said, some people are. Some people are not. The people who are never happy again are people who honor their loved ones through suffering and grief. They think that the more they suffer, the more they loved and the people who are happy again are those who choose to honor their loved one through love, gratitude, and service in different ways than suffering. And I believed him. I had faith in what he was saying. I trusted him. And in hindsight, I realized that that day, the very day after my daughter's death, I made the decision that I was going to be like the latter people, the ones who are happy again. And I was going to honor my daughter, my beloved daughter, through service. So now everything I do, I do in her honor. I do because I understand love in a different way. We think that if we love something or someone, we can't live without it. But the truth is that unconditional love is born for real, for real. When you don't have that thing or that person and you continue to serve on behalf of, to honor. I adore my daughter. She doesn't have to be cute and give me her hugs with her little hands around my neck and do the. The cute Christmas shows and get straight A's and make me proud. She doesn't need to do anything for me because love transcends death. So she continues to be my daughter and I continue to love her. But it. But in a different kind of relationship. And, you know, people say, no, but you have three kids now that, you know, when they're talking about, about how busy I am, I always say, I have four kids. And then when they learn about my story, they're like, oh, but three that take your time. I'm like, that's not true. The one that takes the most time is the one in heaven. Because I'm doing a lot of things to honor her. I've become a better person to honor her. So I made that decision. And everything starts with a choice. I made that decision eight years ago. It didn't become real eight years ago. It's a process. And I had the only way around pain is through. So I had to go through darkness and pain and excruciating, the excruciating kind that you feel like in your bones and you don't think you can go on. But I am the happiest woman on earth today. I love it.

Thank you for sharing your story. And especially now, when so many people are currently experiencing loss. What message do you have for people who are currently experiencing this moment of, like, darkness? What would you tell them?

When I went to sleep or tried to go to sleep the night of that tragedy, I woke up to the sun, the sun shining in. And I remember thinking, like, how inconsiderate the sun, the world Like. Like I died. I died last night, or so I thought.

A part of you died.

Part of me died. And how could life go on? How could the light shine on, like, just. Just stop for a second world? I need to grieve. Like, do you realize, like, my life is over? My life as I knew it is over. And at that moment I thought it was just inconsiderate of the sun and the world to go on. And today, looking at it from a different perspective, I think the sun comes out, the light is always shining. We just have to look at it and look at it in a different light, in a different perspective. So at that point I thought, like, you inconsiderate. Light and sun coming out again.

How dare you?

How dare you? And now I think every time I'm in darkness still, because we all go through challenges every day. We experience some form of loss. When I experience loss or adversity and I'm in darkness, I always remember that the sun is shining and the light is on very bright. I just need to look at it. So I look for it now. So for people who are in the middle of darkness and pain, I say look for the light. And the light is in the form of angels that are there for you, that make you feel special, that caress your heart. They're in the form of signs, rainbows, butterflies. Light and hope are in the form of things that we read on social media that speak to us or gestures that random people, random strangers may have. The light is there, but if we choose to look at the dark side, then we're going to feel that darkness within. I'm not saying that it is possible to go through grief without the pain. But if we even look at pain as the pathway to hope and to rising and to growth and joy, then suddenly pain is not the destination. It's just the way. Journey. It's the journey every time. I'm in pain now for any reason, because pain is. Whenever things don't go our way or our expectations are not met, that's painful. So we all go through pain. We all go through loss. And whenever I feel it now, I, instead of thinking like, this sucks. Well, I first think it sucks. And then after I give myself permission to think that it sucks, I experience gratitude. And I find myself saying like, thank you, God, you must have something amazing in store for me, because this really sucks. And I believe that that pain is the foundation of growth. So if I'm in pain, something amazing is coming. Pain is a fertilizer. What are fertilizers made of poop. Poop. So pain feels like crap and it stinks like it. But fertilizers help plants grow, and pain nourishes us. It helps us become stronger. So if you are in the middle of darkness and pain, know that there's light and you just have to change your gaze and look at it, and look at it in the form of blessings and know that this pain is only the path. It's never the destination. We were not created to be miserable. That helps me. That gives me hope. And hope is what. What helps me get through a day and then the next, right? So hope. Keep the hope shining because something amazing is brewing. This is preparing you for something greater.

Betsy, that was so beautiful and deep. And that's one of the things that I appreciate about you.

You bring light to.

You're an instrument of light. You're an instrument of hope. Tell me about the book Hurt to Hope. How was that born? Tell me a little bit about that project.

Hurt to Hope is my gift to my daughter. When you want to do something for someone who I believe is in heaven and is greater and bigger than me in so many ways, you know, you don't know what to do for that being. But I, as a human being and as a mom, still wanted to give her a part of me. And because I love her through service, it had to be something that was going to keep her memory alive and to help others see hope in the middle of loss, adversity, grief. So I felt called to write this book. I didn't want to write it. I fought a lot with God when he suggested I do this, but I'm obedient. And I was writing a different book for couples and relationships. I'm very passionate about couples work. And my consultant, my storyteller consultant, was like, you need to start with Fofi's story. I'm like, no, that doesn't have anything to do with couples. You need to start there. And then I stayed there. And that's how this evolved. And this book is a two part story or two part book. The first part is my story. And the whole purpose of it is not to tell people about my life as much as just showing the raw, vulnerable, grieving woman who lost her daughter so that they could connect with the pain, so that they could feel heard, understood, and validated. Because people look at me and they think, like, you're so strong. No, I wasn't. And it was a journey. So to write the book, I had to go back to that pain to write from it. And Be able to connect with the reader. And it was excruciating. It was very hard. But I had a bigger purpose than. I had a purpose that was bigger and greater than the pain I was feeling. And then the second part. So the first part is hurt. It's like, connect with your own pain. And the second part is hope. Hope is where I share all the tools, whether they're clinical or spiritual, to help people rise after such an excruciating tragedy. And I think it's beautiful.

I think it's beautiful.

I put my heart and soul into it. And I've had a lot of amazing testimonials, and people have reached out from all over the world to tell me how much they've. It's changed their lives. And people who have lost someone to death, but also people who have a child with special needs or who are struggling through a financial difficulty, because it's not just for grief of a person, it's loss.

So is this book the end of the process or is this the. The starting point? Because, you know, we. You honor your daughter. You. You went there, you went to the pain. What happens next? For those who are looking for a guide?

The book helps a lot. And the book takes you on an emotional journey from hurt because, you know, some people have to pause because it's. It's, you know, they feel the pain to hope. Right? But. But hope is. Is what allows you to get to joy, to fulfillment. So hope isn't the end either. It's what allows you to get there. So the book is hurt, to hope, and I take you to hope, and I teach you how to go there. But I think there's also the opportunity to deepen in your journey and to have someone hold your hand and to practice those things that I teach there. Right. Like, if you just read it but don't implement them, then it's not going to change your life. The book is to help you do the work and transform that grief into hope, into joy, into service, into purpose. I have other programs also, because people reach out and they want more. They want a deeper interaction. I have an online program for people who have experienced the pain of losing a loved one, whether it's through divorce or death. And it's a beautiful program. You know, it's beautiful because you recorded it. And as part of that program, I also have coaching sessions where I accompany the people going through the program in their journey. I hold their hands, I hold some space. I help them carry that pain, and I provide a community that accompanies them as well. And it's a beautiful community, Diana, because unfortunately, a lot of these support groups are defined by the grief. We come together because of grief, but we are defined by the hope and by the way we rise and by the way we choose not to identify with. I am the grieving mom of an angel who can never be happy again, but rather by. I am the chosen mother of an angel, and I am VIP in heaven, and I am strong as I can be, because if I can get through this and be happy again, I can get through anything. And I am empowered. And that energy. You should see how the videos of the Zoom sessions, like how you witness the pain, the raw pain in the first session and eight weeks later, people are shining. They're shining their light. And that doesn't mean we heal in eight weeks, but it does mean that we understand that pain is just the path, never the destination.

So how can people find you? How can people get in touch with you if they needed to? If they have someone that they would recommend this program to, if they've lost something that they want to heal because they refuse to become victims of their circumstances, where can they find you?

Well, my website is betterwithbetsy.com because life really is better with me. Life is great with me and social media, also better with Betsy. And then I also have the online program website, which is hurt the number2hope.com and that's also the title of the book. You can find it in Amazon books and books, Hurt the Number two Hope.

Okay, so you heard it, guys.

So please go check it out.

And for those of you who are leaders, are change makers, who want to make a difference in the world, who know that visibility and making an impact is important to you, head over to fordproductions.com and let's have a conversation. See you there and see you in the next video.