Mindy chose grace over anger during her divorce, keeping daily communication with her ex-husband and attending family events together so her kids would see both parents still cared. Her current husband accepted this history without resentment.
You were grace during the process of divorce. You were grace in adversity. You are grace now.
Thank you.
How did your faith contribute to you responding the way most of humanity doesn't, and especially not having a role model to look after. Like what? What was it?
I don't know exactly what it was, but I'll try to explain it this way. At the moment that it hit the fan, at that moment that my life changed to never be the same, I had some just very quick split second things happen. The first was it's not hard to be a good and decent moral person when the weather is good and the money's coming in and everyone's healthy. Right? That's easy. Easy, you know, easy street. But when your life literally falls apart and when something that you believed was one way isn't that way at all, you really find out who you are very quickly. I think some people just give in to the easiest, most raw anger and don't ever come out of that. And that's such a shame. I was angry, I promise you, angry. But I didn't let that dominate me. And I decided that this was going to show me who I really am. And even more importantly, it's going to show my children who I am, who their father is, and what people do when they disagree. You don't have to hate the person you disagree with people. It's happening now, Republicans and Democrats, families don't talk. And Thanksgiving is like World War 3. It doesn't have to be that way. We can disagree and still care about each other, love each other. And my children have learned that better than any kids I know because their father and I are divorced. We have never had a Thanksgiving apart, a birthday apart. I talk to him every single day, sometimes not even about the kids, because we grew up together since we were in our 20s and his business was growing when we were together. I mean, we just know so much of the same stuff. And my husband, Don, my current husband and my forever husband, he had to accept this. It's part of my package, and I only would have it that way. So it's not like I thought, oh, self, let's be graceful. Let's aspire. You know, let's go read the Torah. No, sadly, that's not what happened. But I did want it to go a certain way. I didn't want it to be the way it was for me or for so many other kids. And I had the luck of having a very, very decent and kind and wonderful partner who was always there for me. By the Way I remember after the first hurricane that hit, when we were apart, I remember seeing him walk up the street in rain boots to check on us and I thought, this is like, this is so incredible.
So you were able to see love and grace in him while you were angry at him?
Yes.
And you were able to appreciate and be grateful for those moments where he showed up as though he cared even though he had broken your heart?
Yes.
That's hard. That's hard, Mindy. So what was it like? What, what do you. What virtue do you possess? What gift, what strength? Like, what was it about you that allowed you to see a both and a guy you wanted to stab?
Yeah.
And one that you appreciated deeply?
Well, you know, I am certainly not smarter than anybody. I am not more educated than anybody. I'm not more special than anybody. But I had a feeling and I had an idea and listen, there were people around me who would say, you're making him dinner. I would poison him. You know, Believe me, I heard that kind of thing. And I heard it all too often. I wanted my children to see their father and I, who made them because we loved each other and we wanted a family together. I wanted them to see that we're always a family. We're still a family. We still have a group chat with just the five of us. It's called squad goals. None of my sons in law are in it. Nobody else. Just the five of us. And it's been that way for a long time. And as I did it more and more, it felt better and better. And of course I did this through the separation, through the divorce, through dating, and he went right into his new life. But it didn't upset me. Like, that's okay. It would only be good for my children if he was good and happy. Not everybody has the kind of partner that I have in him. I mean, I'm very blessed. And I let him know how much I appreciate him and he lets me know. Not everybody has that you can still be the best version of yourself. And even when everything around you is terrible, it's not easy. I'm not saying it is, but it's doable. Okay.
It's love. What I heard you say is love.
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