Greatness Coaching -March 04,2024

Going through a lot. A lot of good stuff.

Yes, a lot of good stuff. Busy, but, you know, all good things. I was thinking this morning that tomorrow being Lent, I was just reflecting on, like, not only ways that. Of things that I could do to. To like, draw me closer to God or things that I can give up, but ways that I can, like, encourage my children and my husband to do that too. Like, I had conversations with them yesterday and they're. I don't know, I find them all like, ah, whatever, like, very aloof. And I was like, I prayed about it this morning, like, what can I do to, like, be more encouraging to help them utilize this time? You know, that was the thought I had in my. When I woke up this morning.

So I have. I have a prayer group and I meet with once a month, like my friends. We've been doing it for over 20 years, and. You hear me. Okay. And my husband led the prayer group on Friday, and he was reflecting on Lent, coming up and preparing. And we had like a hashtag come out of the prayer group, which is like my first Lent, because we have a. We have. One of our friends in the prayer group is like a new Christian. Like, she, like, found Jesus. Like, found God. She was more like. She would always come to our prayer groups because she's their friend, but she was not like a God, Jesus, like, religion kind of person. She would just go, you know, because she's. She's open and she's more of like a universe and crystals and like, all the things. And she. In one of the prayer groups, my husband suggested to do a challenge of listening to scripture, and she went down a rabbit hole and she found God. Oh, she's the one that. Remember I mentioned. I don't know if it was here in the Coaching Academy, I mentioned someone who was more in love with the Holy Spirit, like, than even me. And I was like, what is that what it. Like, I sound like, like, it was so refreshing. That's her son. So she was saying, like, you know, this is my first Lent ever, and I'm 40 something. So then we. So then another one who's, you know, cradle Catholic was like, you know, I was listening to her and I was wondering, like, is this my first Lent? Because, you know, she hadn't been necessarily, like, intentional about that season of preparation. So it was like, hashtag, my first Lent ever. Like, so we're all treating this Lent as if it were the first so that we may be intentional about it. And my husband asked the question, what prevents you from getting Closer to God. And he gave us, like, he did a little meditation. He gave us all the time to reflect on it. And, you know, for some people, it was selfishness. For me, it was busyness and lack of silence. Like, I'm. I'm in the car and I'm like. Like, I'm on. I'm a thousand miles per hour except for when I'm sleeping and when I'm. When I'm in the morning meditation. But in between, I don't really practice much silence, which is why the morning routine is so sacred. But I could use moments of silence in the car, in the house. Like. But I'm always like, what do I listen to? What podcast, what book, what this, what that? Like, I'm always listening to another person's thoughts. And how do I listen to God's thoughts? For me, inside. So busyness, the phone, you know, distractions, being in the car, like. Like, the lack of silence, I think, is what summarizes. It is what separates me currently from God. And we went around and we were reflecting, and of course, when other people share, then you're like, oh, me too. That happens to me, too. Okay. I got to keep that in mind. So we did that as a group with our friends. And yesterday, because my daughter has gymnastics every night, so we don't get to have dinner together. Yesterday we met and we. We had dinner as a family. And my. And we brought it up to the kids. So, like, what separates you from God? One of them said. Like, the oldest said, like, this is between us, by the way, because I don't think she would appreciate me, Sherry. But I think it. It's helpful. She said, like, gossip, right? Like, sometimes, like, her friend will say something and she'll engage in it. And we talked about how gossip could be you engaging or you starting it or whatever. And my son said. He said, like, lack, like working on gratitude, which I define as entitlement. Right. He just would never use that word necessarily. He doesn't necessarily have that awareness, but. But it's. You know, he struggles with entitlement. And so he's going to focus on gratitude during this Lenten season so that he can get closer to that. So, I don't know, maybe doing a little exercise over dinner with your family or where you create like. Like it's a moment that you create so that it's, like, ingrained. And you ask them, like, what's separate? What prevents you from getting closer to God? And then, like, what we did with the kids and is to work on that, to Set that as an intention. But we also said whenever you. Because my kids give up stuff from forever. Like, my daughter, I think, was 7 years old and was giving up chocolate and this and that. I remember feeling like bag is so little. But it was such a beautiful thing because she's developed this resilience and just strength. And so my husband told her, like, in addition to just giving that up, to give it up whenever it's hard, whenever you're tempted, whenever you really want that sweet or whatever, or watch tv because my daughter gives up TV too. Whenever you want something, offer it for gratitude. Not being, you know, not gossiping, being unselfish, you know, judgment. So my little one said judgment that, that sometimes she judged people. So, so then that's a way of, of creating intentionality. Because the idea of lens is, is preparation, lenses is training. We're. We're preparing. We're training for something bigger than us, which is that resurrection power that, that lies within us because of Jesus giving up his life. So I don't know, maybe you get to sit with your family and do that and, and maybe this Lent, they don't do anything about it and they don't whatever. Like, they ignore it and it's okay. But you're planting seeds. The seeds are not always going to grow immediately. So maybe it doesn't resonate this time, but back to it, but. Or maybe it does because they mentioned it in school and because you mentioned it at home and because, you know, they heard a thing or because the priest in mass or. Right. Like, so the more seeds we plan, the more others can water them. And maybe it'll grow this season and maybe it'll grow in 42 seasons. Like, for my friend, you know, 42 Lenten seasons.

That was helpful to hear because I feel like when they were little, they were so much more open. And now as teenagers, they're just like, whatever, resistant. But you're right, it's about planting the seeds and continuing, you know, down that path.

And so the seeds. Plant the seeds.

I know what our dinner conversation is.

Going to be tonight, and I have a family chat. So I texted the kids early yesterday and I wrote like, oh, I would love not. Sorry, Sunday. And I said, like, tonight I would love to have dinner and share some things over dinner.

Right?

Like, so I prepared them so that they wouldn't be like, oh, my gosh, here she comes again with her pre sermon. Right? Like, okay, you know, just. Just prep them so that they can be ready.

They'll do that anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at least they know that it's coming, you know? All right. Okay. I'm here to. Hola, Gigi.

Hola.

Hola, Maria.

See?

So anybody else wants to share before we get started with the presentation? I want to make sure that I hear you out, Tam. They fly or fight or fly to the heaven. No, fight or flight. Like running towards heaven and running away from hell.

The.

Run to the. Huh. Okay, so run towards heaven or run away from hell? Run away from hell. Run away from heaven. Okay, we ready? Or do you want to share?

Let's see.

I have a little.

A little question. Yes. So I have a little answer.

We were practicing visualization yesterday, and I.

Did the, like, okay, what's the best.

Thing that, like, you can imagine?

And.

We got to that. But it was like there were blocks in the way of, like, I remember you told me one time, imagine the best thing, and who cares? Ignore everything else. You're. You don't need to know how you're.

Going to get there.

Just feel the best outcome. But we're having a hard time. The person I'm coaching, let's say we're having a hard time getting to, like, that block of, like, you know, Seeing it or feeling it, because I don't know if they believe that they. That can happen. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Like, yes, there's a lot of like.

But how are we gonna get there?

But, you know, and. And I'm just like, don't worry about it.

It's gonna work out.

Just feel the feeling of, like, the best outcome.

So that's. That's what the exercise is about. The exercise is not about figuring out how we can get to where we want to get to. The. The exercise is to gain clarity on what the vision and the destination is and feel into that. So so many things play into that visualization as an exercise, right? That we can imagine and connect with things that we have that haven't physically being expressed into our reality. That's going to the movies. When you go to. When you go to the movies, you're visualizing, right? Like, you're. You're like the visual. The visualization is given to you. You're visualizing a scene, a situation, you know, on a trauma, and then your subconscious mind believes it. So you cry in the movies and you laugh and you feel what the characters are feeling, right? That's a visualization, and it also includes be.

Do have.

When you tap into enjoying that moment and that experience, you're working on being first, you're not working on what you need to do to get there and how you're gonna get there, which is having it, right? So it's, it's tapping into being, being the person who's already succeeded. And that changes you, that expands you to be able to fit the belief that it's coming. Right? So if he tries to believe it before doing it, he or she, whomever you're coaching, I assumed it was a he. If he tries to believe what you are visualizing, it defeats the purpose. The whole point of the exercise is you don't need to know anything. You need to how to get there. You need to know, you know exactly what it looks like. Just, just play with it, imagine it, visualize it. Because your subconscious mind doesn't know how to differentiate truth from fantasy. So if you're able to visualize the. Like. I remember when I was writing my book, I went to an event and they asked us to do this exercise in the middle of the, of the speaking engagement. And I visualized myself having published the book. I was in my book launch. I was, you know, I was crying the. And I was signing books and I felt fulfilled and I knew who I was with and I like all the things and I remember being like. I remember feeling like it's when I finished feeling like it was possible because I had felt it. So this is not about working your way to it. The whole point of a visualization is imagine it. Connect with the you with the emotions and all your five, all your senses and then let that help you build the hope, build the belief, and step into the higher version of you who is expanded enough to fit that possibility, that reality. So it's not the journey on of how to get there. That's not what visualization is. It's not the journey. It's the destination, not the path. The path will be revealed to you by God. Right? So that's, that's the whole point of having a guided life. It's the whole GPS idea. You enter the destination and the step by step directions are given to you, are revealed to you as, as you need them not a second before. It's really annoying. You know, the GPS doesn't tell you turn left when you get to La Quina K, then turn right and then you're gonna. No, it tells you turn left in a mile, turn left in whatever you know, 550, 500ft, turn it right. But it doesn't tell you with anticipation, which is why uncertainty lives. So help him understand we're not visualizing the journey we're visualizing the destination. Okay, perfect. And that we surrender. Okay, we ready? Let me open the. Okay, so I shared at the beginning of the call that are we recording yet? That I, when I asked you the questions, I got a few responses. And what you all agreed with were two topics. Making decisions. Like, how do I make decisions? How do I, you know, find that piece? How do I go through the process and staying present, especially when you're traveling, when you're busy, when you're going through so much. So that's what we're going to talk about today. I am going to pause after these two before we get into lens to see if you, you have won the time to discuss or if you want to continue with the, with the content. Because I want to make sure I give you as, as much as you need today. Okay, so decisions when you. I don't know if I think I shared this in, in the outsmarting your mind master class, but the adults, the average adult makes around 35,000 decisions a day. And you may think like, oh no, that's not possible. But you know, how do I brush my teeth and how do I make my coffee? And what shoe, I mean, what foot does this shoe go on is. There are decisions, they're just automated. But if you think of a little baby, a little baby doesn't know what shoe goes in what food, doesn't know how to do the coffee in the coffee machine. They struggle with brushing their teeth. Right? So that's why it's so powerful to engage in healthy habits. Because the more we automate, the less we have to think about the decisions we're already making making. They're made like automatically. They're in autopilot. That's why habits are so powerful. They free space in the prefrontal cortex where decision making takes place so that it goes to the basal ganga, which is where habits and automations are in the brain. So we make over 35,000 decisions. If we had to think about all those decisions, if we had to like, process them, if you had to go through this journey that we're gonna, that I'm gonna share with you today, our brains would literally explode because the prefrontal cords has limited real estate and it cannot hold all of that activity and movement and stress and craziness, and it just can't. So automations help remove or release some of that space or real estate in the prefrontal cortex to make sure that we're only using our functional, our executive system, the, our executive skills to make decisions. That are important. If every day you're thinking like, do I work out or do I not work out? You're expending energy. Do I eat the chocolate cake or do I not eat the chocolate cake? You're expending energy. What do I wear this morning? Oh, I planted last night so I don't have to think about it today. Right. So if we could automate as much as possible and create healthy habits that support us, we are supporting our brain health and we are helping our limited adaptation energy be applied to the things that really matter. On a daily basis, the brain burns around 500 calories. Some research said like 300 to 500. I listened to a podcast that shared. It was 400 to 600. And so I just put it at 500. And if you are really like, like Rompino de la Caraisa to understand a particular problem that you're going through, like an important decision. Like I have a client who is going through cancer treatment and she has decided to decide if she goes the holistic route or if she. Or if she takes radiation and chemotherapy again. And so she's. That those are like big decisions that take time and take energy. And when that decision is in place, you burn like 20 more calories per hour. So it's a significant amount. It's like 20%, they say, of the calories that we expend in our bodies throughout the day. 20, 20% of that is. Is the brain alone. So there's a lot going in our minds. And automating, like using a process to make decisions that's automated and that you can automatically take your problems, you know too, so that you can problem solve, will help support this brain health by like going to the automations. Right. Like I, I always, when I read about businesses, businesses are big on automating as much as possible. And they call it operational systems, they call it structure, they call it systems, they call it habits, whatever you want. I know Starbucks, for example, is one that's discussed in the. I think it's the Power of Habit, that book. I'm pretty sure it was in that one. And they. Or uneven sports, they explain how in Starbucks you don't have to think. Like, they teach you everything from how to greet the clients and what things to say the customers when they come in to how to serve the coffee to how to present it. Like they teach you everything. And they repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat. And the training is very extensive so that you don't have to think about it. And that's how they're able to promise excellence and consistency across the board. It's through the training that they engage their. Their employees in. The same thing is true with sports. If you have a quarterback and he knows that when this happens, this is what I do, he doesn't have to think about, okay, they threw the ball to this guy, what do I do now? Do I go around it like basketball? I see it in my. My son's basketball games. They said, like, you know, they. They said red or they said, you know, whatever it is that they are a number. And all the participants in that team know what happens next. So they're all automated. They're all like, they're all made habits. So that's really, really, really powerful in the decision making realm. Like, if you could just automate this process. And the process is the peace process and this is how it goes. So does anybody want to share a thing that you're wanting to problem solve for? You want a decision you're wanting to make so that I use your example as I go through this, or do I just make my own? Anybody has a problem you're wanting to solve? Like a decision. A decision you're wanting to make. I'm not looking at you, Mariana, at all. Not even like. Like, I'm just looking at everybody else.

Yeah.

What do I do next?

What do I. What, what do I do next?

Like, because I'm wrapping up my assignment here in May, so it's just like, do I travel more? Do I go get a job? Do I try to do startup with my sister? Like.

Do your starter. What? With my sister.

Do a startup with my sister.

Oh, startup.

Startup.

Okay. Oh, wow. Like, those are really cool options. Okay, okay, okay, let's use that. All right, so. Oh, sorry. Okay, so the P and peace stands. And obviously the reason it's called the peace method is because that's how you know a decision is the right one. It's when you experience peace because that's how. That's the language of God. So the PNP stands for priority or purpose. I think one of the two will resonate more depending on what decision you're making. Like, if you're making a decision of, you know, what treatment do I use for cancer? I think priority may. May resonate more. Right? Like, my priority is to, you know, to expose my body to as much healthy options as possible. So maybe holistic is the way. Right? Like. Like, what is your priority? Like, my priority is to save my life. Oh, well, maybe because it's a more intense problem, maybe we go the chemo route. So, so priority may resonate in. In the case of Nathy, like, you know, she's taking care of her.

Her.

Her parents and. And that's a priority. So maybe she's been wanting to, I don't know, go on a very special trip, like a. A pilgrimage. She wants to go on a pilgrimage and. And an opportunity comes up. But her priority right now is not to grow spiritually, even though that may be a priority in her life, throughout her life. The priority right now is to take care and be there for her parents. So being away for so long may not be aligned with the priority. Right. So keep in mind that I was very intentional about using both, and they may sound and feel differently, but ultimately the priority or the purpose always point to the North Star in regards to where I'm at. Like, the intention. The intention, the North Star, where am I at right now and what is most important at this moment of my life? So that would be priority. Purpose, I think, is more aligned with what Mariana just shared. Mariana is. And we had. We talked about purpose the last time, and we know that purpose is more than just having a career that aligns with your mission. It's more than, you know, being. Doing things for other people. Purpose is. Is how do I. How do I. How do I live? Like. Like, how do I live as my highest self, with love, with intention? Like, how do I become holy in whatever I do? But she's looking to. To. To find what that's supposed to look like, the presentation of that purpose in this part of her life. What is that going to look like? Right? So purpose is something that I think would drive her in this. In this process. So, Mariana, what is. What is your purpose? What is. Like, what is your. Your priority, your life purpose? Like, what do you. When you think of purpose, like what. What comes to mind immediately?

I mean, like, robbing from what, like, I think what Gigi said was really cool about, like, living and sharing love with those around you. And I think another one is. I don't know if it's a purpose, but, like, using my skills to my maximum potential.

Okay. Yes. Yes. So leveraging the gifts that God gave you to support others and to be there for others. I am going to open real quick the purpose presentation that I shared last time to remind you a little bit of what we shared. So purpose is where your gifts, pains and passions meet to fulfill a need. So, you know, like, how. What do I have that is good for humanity and what does humanity needs? Like, that's when they get when they meet, when God. That's what we think of purpose, when we usually think in society, like, oh, I'm fulfilling my purpose. I'm using my gifts to help other people when God's will shows up in the form of a desire. So we know that if there's something like that, you're going to be guided to this purpose with. With like something in your heart, like emotions as compassion, something that's going to get you really excited. And right now you don't. You're. You're, you know, you're in neutral, you're in limbo. Like, you haven't really, like, experienced that joy within how we assume our part in the whole. And like this is. We're part of one body, the body of the God, like the universe. And there's legs and there's arms and there's mouth and there's hair, and there's all the things, and they all fulfill a purpose. So how. What is my part in this big universe that is, that I was created for? It's how we glorify God. It's like how we. How we honor the gifts that he gave him, gave us by multiplying them. Like if we think of the scripture of the. The parable of the talents, right? Like, he gave us 10 talents and we're going to create 10 more. We're going to multiply that. We're going to. We're going to use that. We're not going to hold them selfishly. What remains when everything changes. So we know that purpose ultimately is that, that love, that which is also here where we were created. It's that love, the holiness, the better version of ourselves, that we, we are the purpose. God created us on purpose, so we are the purpose. That's it. Right? But sometimes purpose looks like a career at, you know, eight months in Malawi, motherhood, therapist, coach, right? Like it looks a teacher, retiree, mentor. Like, it looks different. But ultimately, what never changes is that seed within which is who you are, you are the purpose. And then why we were created. So that's what we discussed last time, and we come back here and Mariana's priority and purpose is to shine her light, to use her gifts, to do something meaningful, to. To impact other people, to help others and. And to be mag, which is what she calls her highest self. So that's. That's her priority. Exploration. Okay, so what could we do? Exploration is the research. What are the options out there? Well, for her, it's. Sky's the limit. So which may make it harder, right? Because it's like the decision fatigue, right? There's all these things I can choose from. So she said I could work on a startup with my sister. I can find another job in what I've already been doing. I can coach people. Which she actually got some information, and we're going to go to that step soon. She did a webinar. She killed it in the webinar. If you haven't seen the recording, I encourage you to do that. Because her mom said, like, she was like a mini Betsy. I'm like, that was all her. That was our.

And.

And by the way, it was all her. I didn't help her create content. I didn't. I did nothing for her. Except, listen. She, like, she could do coaching, she could pursue coaching. She could travel the world. She has a time off, and she could, like, take advantage of this freedom and travel the world. So now we go to any. Any other thoughts that come up to mind, Mariana, Any other options? Okay, so that's exploration. So in exploration, we're looking for possibilities. We're doing the research, we're talking to people, we're paying attention. We're. We're interviewing others who are doing something that we're curious about. We're. We're exploring. We're just researching. The A is alignment. This one's very important. Notice that the first three steps are all about our power. So alignment. You go back to your North Star and you go, is traveling the world aligns with my priority, my purpose, which is to be my high self, to shine my light, to use my gifts to help others. And you could be, like, not so much. Unless I'm traveling the world to. To create stillness in my life and to connect ever more deeply with that next step that God is calling me to. Unless I am traveling the world, and in every place that I go, I do, like, an act of kindness or I go visit, I don't know, the homeless or an. Or an orphanage or. Or. Or I. I don't know. Whatever it is, right? Like, because I've. I've witnessed Mariana have these holy moments with the people in Malawi. That is her shining her light in a different way than Cody, and she seems to derive joy from that. So let's say if traveling the world looks like not just going to enjoy myself, but also engage in experiences that are going to further clarify and deepen my connection so that I can have access to that next step, then, yes, it's aligned. If it's traveling the world just because I have the time, you know, my priority Right now is not to experience freedom. It's not to, it's to, you know, to get to know the world. It's not to enjoy myself. If that would have been the priority, then that one's really aligned, right? Like at some point I did that when I was in, when I graduated college and, and my priority was to see the world, to be free, to, to like expand my, my mindset and you know, I lived in a little bubble in Puerto Rico. So traveling was, was a form of expansion and that was a priority. So it was aligned. Right. So alignment then she can. Do you have any other thoughts about alignment with traveling the world? Mariana? No, it's okay.

The only thing with alignment, I'm just like, you can always put a spin on things to align it. So like travel but make sure you do active service while you're doing it or like do a startup that make sure you.

Okay, so that's a really great question. That's a really great question. And it's. That great question is coming from a level of thinking that's different to the level of thinking that I am expressing these, this process. So I'll share. There's not one decision, like there's not one right decision. And I think when we're looking for the right decision, then it's like I could put a spin and then go that route and it was the wrong one and it was not the right one. All the decisions that you come up with are possible right decisions, right? Like it's, you're the one co creating this journey with God so you can get the same outcome in different, with different experiences. That's why people, some people experience their personal development, growth with a spiritual leader, others with a coach, others with a therapist, others with a book they read or a moment they had or a retreat. Right. All of the above are possible solutions, are possible decisions. So my invitation is that you don't look for the right decision, the one and only right decision, but rather that you make the decision right. So if you put a spin and it leads you to your, your destination, which is to live in an integrity with what God created you to be and to share your God given gifts. It doesn't matter if it's in the startup, it doesn't matter if it's in the trip, it doesn't matter if it's just don't take the trip just to vacation and leave the purpose out, right? That's the idea. Like if you're going to decide the traveling decided, right? So that it aligns with what's important for you. Any thoughts on that? Okay, so alignment. Yes, I have a question.

So then what you're saying is that there's really like no right decision and take that like you're always stuck and.

Like, oh my God.

What's the right decision?

What's the right decision? There's really no right one as long as you make it with your align with in alignment with what your purpose.

I love. There's not one right decision. There's that one decision that you can make. Right? Because whatever you choose, if you choose with intention, integrity and alignment and I and I have only shared right now that you're going to align it with your North Star, right? With the priority or the purpose, the intention. But you're also going to align it with your values, with your principles, right? Because let's say Nati. Nati. One of Nati's main values is faith and its connection with God. And this, a pilgrimage is very aligned with her principles and her values and maybe not so much with the priority, but if she really wanted to do this trip and the will, let's go. Let God. Let God's will be your desire. And there's a desire to go right now even though the timing is horrible because my parents are going through so much. Like she can make the decision of going on that pilgrimage and offering it for the well being of her parents and, and maybe she just prays about it the whole time and she, you know, goes to visit Unabi Hencita and and you know, offers that visit for, for the health of her, her dad and like, and you know, she makes sure that she makes the arrangements to have the support she needs at home while she's gone. Like that would be, that's a very feasible decision for nothing, you know, given what she has going on. It's not off the bat. It's like, oh no, that's not the right one. But if God puts the desire and you know, and she really wants to do it, this is her time to do this, then she can set as an invitation, she can align it, she can manipulate it what Mariana was saying. And ultimately if she has peace, she's like, okay, I got this one to take care of my mom here. If something happens, they're going to show up immediately. You know, everything was very like thorough in booking the flight, but like if she's booking the flight and, and there's an obstacle and another obstacle and another obstacle and another obstacle and, and like everything is so hard. That's restlessness, the opposite of peace. Right. So. So keep in mind that we're not just going to manipulate the alignment and say like, oh, yeah, ultimately. And that's step four. We're going to tap into. Okay, now we did the human alignment, which is with this. Now we did the. I have power over aligning this and manipulating things. But what we ultimately, when we ultimately make the decision is when we happen to spirit center and spirit is going to say, go for it in the form of peace. Or it's going to be like, but I don't know. But I'm not sure. But what if something happens? I'm never going to forgive myself if something happens to my parents and I'm away. Like, if you go away, you're going to make that decision, right? Because it's going to be aligned, you know, your alignment with the priority and your values and your principles and what matters, but it's also going to be aligned with the. The God within, right? Because that's. He's gonna have the last word. So. And when we get to that, let's.

Say like Mariana, so she makes a decision, okay, and she feels good about the decision and then she does it. But then she can change her mind later. Like, something else can come up and she can go back, like, rethink it a hundred percent.

I was just gonna say, oftentimes you.

Make a decision and it feels good and you go down that path and.

It leads you somewhere else. That's why there's not one decision. Because it's like. My friend Nikki wrote a book, so let soul, let living. And she illustrated it with this analogy that I think is helpful.

She.

He says that, like, living, like with your. With your soul, like with the spirit indwelling may look very differently for many people. And it's like an. It's an expressway. Like, it's an expressway and there's two parallel expressways. And many times we're living this path, right? Like, we're living this way, but then the. So let living path is this one. And they're parallel and they don't connect, right? So you're being ego, you're being the person, your personality, the ego, the what, what we created, right? Like, you're being this person, but this is your spirit. This is who God created you to be. This is who you truly are. Your truth. And then she says, and then there's exits all throughout. There's exits. And those exits are like the perpendicular path that leads you to your solit life. So there are all these decisions that are going to connect with your True path. And if you make that decision, right, by doing this process, by connecting with peace, maybe you go straight and maybe you deviate again. Or maybe you go, you know, maybe you come and. And that takes you to like a different path, right? Like, it's ultimately just know that there's not one decision that's going to be the end all, be all for as long as we live. But. But decisions matter because we have, we have this life that's a gift. And you know, tomorrow is not promised. So it's a both. And it's really important that we're mindful about making decisions. And it's really important that we don't take them so seriously as if they were the last decision on the face of the earth. And sometimes we interpret like, I speak for myself, I make decisions only. Like, I've been doing this for years, only when I have peace. And I consult, as of two years ago, I consult every little decision with God. So for example, in my business back then, God would give. Put something in my heart and I would run with it. Like, it's like God told me to do this. I would hire the people, do the things, and like, I would do it on my own. And I learned all too quickly with a lot of failure that that didn't work, that it was like, okay, I'm gonna obey. But then every step of the way I'm like, yeah, and what do I do next? And what do I do next? So that's why I say the Holy Spirit is my business partner. Because I literally consult every little decision. Who do I hire? How much do I pay? How much do I charge for this program? Like, do I do it? Do I not do it? And I wait. I wait, I go through this journey and I wait until I have the, the, the connection to discern. I have peace or I don't have peace. It just happened in something super dumb. But still, I didn't have peace with the coach and client assignment of this cohort, which I owe them for last week. And I was working on it with time. I didn't procrastinate, and I just didn't have peace with it. And I'm like, I don't know. Like, I don't. I'm not sure about this person for this person, but it was like, tremendous. I failed them. I couldn't give it to them. I'm like, I don't have peace. I don't, like, give me another week, please. I don't have peace with this. So I, I waited until I was like, yes. And interestingly enough, what happened throughout the, the process, it took me a whole other week, and I was doing it every day. I was sitting down, I was praying, I was assigning. I was. And then I'd be like, I got it. And then when I would confirm that I. Everybody had someone, I had duplicated someone. And it wasn't as easy as exchanging them because then they would get themselves like it was. So to me, that was. That was lack of peace. That was God saying, that's not it yet. Not yet, not yet, not yet. Until it all just. It just flowed and it felt right. And I was like, okay, hit send, right? So something as dumb as that. So what happened was I was every step of. So first I had the big vision that he gave me. I ran with it. I did the step by step. The next year, I was like, I'm not going to make that mistake again. So I'm going to. I'm going to ask God step by step, everything. But I decided the big vision. I went to my planning workshop. This is the year that my word is freedom. This, that, and then this is what it's going to look like. It made sense. It was. It made a lot of sense. So I'm like, I am going to build a team that is administratively responsible for my team, a leadership team, and I'm going to be administratively free. And I am going to create a model that helps the business pay for itself instead of me having to come out of pocket to. To help support the. My team. So I had the perfect plan and I went step by step, waiting for God to tell me everything. And I. And I. And he told. I waited, didn't hire anything on. But then I realized, like, I was, I. I was letting him guide me step by step, but I didn't let him create the vision. So when you practice visualization, you get to pray maybe about it first and be like, God, reveal to me the vision and like, just change it as. As you will so that I can connect with clarity with where I'm going. So what I learned that second year that was very painful in my business is that I had peace amidst all of the adversity and all the other challenges that presented themselves because I had included God every step of the way. So that served me. And it was beautiful. Beautiful. I wouldn't, I wouldn't change it and have it any other way. I was in a lot of pain and in a lot of peace. And that helped me grow closer to. It just changed me. It elevated me and so supported Me, it was beautiful amidst the craziness. But then I realized like, oh, imagine I told God. I gave God a multiple choice. Hey, God, do I hire this one or this one? So then he's like, oh, this is the better one. That's going to ultimately lead you to your path. But if I would have asked and answered an open ended question like, God, I'm thinking about doing this with my business. Is that aligned with your plan for me? I think I wouldn't have had to go through that year. Right. So that's why, again, this is, this is important to like co create this. Co create. This is. Does anybody have any questions about that? Okay, so alignment is building a business with a startup with my sister. Aligned. It's aligned with my principles and values. I'm like, big on, you know, Mariana is big on family values. She's, she loves her sister. She could definitely use her skills and her gifts to like create this business around their gifts. Yeah, like it's, it seems, it seems to be aligned with values, principles and connection. She gets to also explore in terms of values, like, do I, do I, like, am I the kind of person that thrives in creating my own structure or do I thrive more in having someone create that structure for me? Like, like a job? And like, I remember one time one of my students saying she had, she, she let go of teaching and she's like, but I don't have a schedule. And it was like, I was like, that's awesome. I just like, no, but I'm used to people telling me what to do, when to do it, at what time, when do finish and, and it was hard because she hadn't yet developed that skill. So is it aligned with your gifts to be an entrepreneur to have like, you know, if your priority is to have time for traveling and you know, or like if your priority is to build a business, for example, if you were to build it around your gifts and priorities, where you have the freedom to take time off, but you also have the responsibility of leading that and, and honoring that. Like, is that, does that feel exciting or is it heavy? Do you cringe or do you expand when you, when you feel that, when you feel into that. So alignment is about just connecting with the emotions that come up for it. When you think about what it would entail to do have a business with your sister, if there's a partnership and there's a disagreement, do I feel ready to address those difficulties? Do I feel ready to possibly be at a position where my sister and I are in discord and, you know, and. And it's too hard for me to see eye to eye or. Or to forgive her for this thing that she did, like, without consulting with me. Right. Like, that also has other implications that maybe you haven't thought about. And the idea of alignment is to. To connect with all those possibilities. Do I find another job? Last time I had a job in this same field, I was miserable. So should I maybe, like, pause and have some clarity and interview people and. Yeah, I can go. You can go for job interviews. You can date people, and that doesn't mean you're going to marry them. Right. You're not going to make that decision. So. And by the way, I distinguish between making a decision and executing on it, because you could also make a decision and we'll get. We'll get there soon and not execute on it. You can make a decision, and that'll be part of your connecting process where you're. Where you're, like, feeling into it, like, okay, I'm going to do this. And if you see that you can sleep at night and you're excited and you start getting used to the idea, okay, then execute on it. But if you made the decision and you're like, whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have second thoughts, like, you got engaged, and then you're like, I'm not sure I like this guy. You can always not execute on it. And like Ceci said, make a different decision. Like, go back through the process. So alignment is that. So the startup, the finding a job. Well, I'm definitely not going to find a job like the last one. So maybe exploring, researching, job interviews, talking to people of something that's still aligned with the job, but a little different. By the way, what you did in this alignment part, like, with the coaching, like, do I coach people? You did a webinar, if. If I'm not mistaken. Like, that was kind of fun. Yeah. Or no, was it kind of fun? Did you enjoy it? Not so much.

Yeah. Yeah, I did, but I just.

I feel a little bit uncomfortable. I know it's not like life coach is like a pro and you're, like, preaching, but, like, it was a little bit about, like, taking steps. And then I feel like I'm back in the place where I'm like, I need help making steps. Like, how could I be someone that presented about that?

So I think in my field, that's. That's me. I'm always making the mistakes, and I'm still. But I'm always striving to. And I Believe. I believe in coaching, so I. I believe I also get to have someone support me. Right. But I. I am a few steps ahead of many people, and many people are a few steps ahead of me, so I receive support from the ones that are ahead, ahead of me in the areas that they're ahead of me, and. And I give support in the areas that I'm ahead of them. It's an exchange. Nobody's perfect. So. But anyway. But what I'm. What I got from you, and please correct me if I'm wrong, is that you kind of, like, the webinar was fun. Like, you know, you came up with this content, you shared it. You've been. You've been actually dabbling into, like, ooh, content creation. So you did that in a different format, maybe a little bit fun. Like, at least, like, you made it seem very easy. I know it was stressful and this and that, but, like, it was. It was. It was really good. You were very successful. I was really impressed. And then you set some, you know, you set some time to talk to people, and you were like, I'm not sure. I like listening to people's problems all the time. Right. And that's information that's in alignment. You're doing that. You're aligning. Like, does this align? You're. You're still exploring, right? That. That's exploration, alignment. And then you're like, it didn't bring me so much joy to listen to all these guys. Problems. Right? So you. So you're. So. Then. So then you're like, oh, this is not that aligned because it doesn't feel good. In the heart, God's will will always be your desire. Right. Ultimately, that doesn't mean maybe this was the first time. And then at some other point, you're like, oh, it sounds like I feel whatever. Right. Like, it's never, like, a final answer, but maybe it's a not right now. You can still continue to explore. This is, by the way, I have this in order, but it's. You go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I have a question. So that's alignment. Yes.

For Marianne. Mariana, I'm wondering if it was. You find it hard to hear the people's problems because you're where you're at and you're seeing real problems, like, and people with a lot of poverty and, like. And then you hear other people's, you know, first world problems. And does that make a difference for you? Like, are you.

Like.

Sometimes it has, but I feel like right now I have the same problems. Like I was talking to a kid who was discerning career. So I feel the same drama for myself. So it's. I think it's more like.

I have enough with mine. I don't want to deal with yours too.

Yeah, like I want, I want more like hype. I want to not like have a two hour conversation. Like another problem. Like if I'm having a two hour conversation, I want like a hype one.

I don't know. Yeah, so. So maybe that's why I distinguish between webinar and one on one. Because I know, like Gigi, for example, enjoys workshops and teaching and like it's fun and you don't have to deal with the drama. And if I'm completely honest, I am at a place in my career where I've done so much of the heaviness that I choose private clients who are not going to be as heavy. I choose not. I choose to work with more elevated people. That's why I'm doing the work that I do with you. It's a lot more fun for me and it's lighter and it feels really good. I still will do here and there, the heaviness. But I also don't want to be listening to pain all day long. It was. It's excruciating. Right? So like I've had enough of that and I've. I feel like I'm in a different season of my life. But I did go through that and I. And I had joy and I was happy to do that. And I'm. Now I'm not so happy to do that. Only. Right. So that's fair. That's fair. Okay then. Connection. So once, once you align, alignment means. Is this aligned with my priority, my purpose? Is this aligned with my body? Like my feelings, my emotions? Like it my. Is it aligned with my values and my principles? Like there's, you know, you're cut. You're really exploring to discern. Does this feel right? Because maybe it's aligned with your principles. And it's like that happened to me yesterday. I'll give you an example. I. Someone called me about a speaking engagement for a Catholic organization and they asked me for my fee and I told them I do 3000 for like faith based. And they said our budget is 1500. I'm like, can you look in? She was new, so she wasn't sure about if there was wiggle room. So I'm like, why don't you look into that? Another way that other people have done it is they'll pay the 1500 and then they'll do. They'll buy books and that's a different budget. Right. It's material. So, you know, whatever. We can figure that out. Like, let me do the research and let me know and we'll. I'm interested in supporting your organization. So, like, let's talk about it. She goes, comes back, sends me an email. And it was like a slap in the face. I was. My ego was bruised. And she's like, she's telling, like, oh, I've done some research. This is how it works. For local speakers, it's 500. For national speakers, it's 1500. Super straightforward. So there's no wiggle room. And. And, like, the majority of speakers have been local, and they even forego their 500 modest fee because they're friends with someone in the organizations and. And then other people or. Or they'll donate it to a charity and da, da, da, da. And then. And then she's like, so if you can see your weights in, like, way into like, 500 and you could sell books there, then we would love to have you. And I. I had all the triggers and like, like, alarms go off. I was super triggered because I'm like, first of all, like, she, like, she didn't have to give me all this information. She's. And it's like the Catholic guilt that was instilled in me by my dad, which I have worked. Like, I'm so resistant about. Like, Like, I. What I heard was like, you're only interested in money, and that's not what we're. We're all about. We're Catholics, Catholic Guild and Catholic Macederia. Like, Macederians in. In Puerto Rican. In span. In Puerto Rican means like. Like, like they don't pay for anything. They don't want to pay for anything. They want it to all to be free because it's service. And service should be free. Right? So I have all these triggers, especially with my, you know, coming from my dad, that I've had. That I've worked on and overcome. So she was like, my dad sending the email, and I was like. I felt judged. I felt like other things. Stories I tell myself, because maybe she didn't even think about this. And I was like, I was pissed. I was like, I don't need to know if other people, like, gave it up and give it to charity and didn't or for Gwen, like, whatever. Like, I was super annoyed. And I'm like. And then you have, like, the audacity to tell me, like, if you could see your way to fit 500. Didn't even acknowledge, like, oh my gosh, I know I told you 15 and now it turns out that it's 500. Didn't even acknowledge. I was, I was like, you know what? Like, I wanted to like send her to fire kite. Super annoyed. Super annoyed. But because I was so annoyed, I knew I was triggered. I knew it was mine. So I processed it with a few people and then I, and I, and I would write the email because I wanted to say yes. I would have done it for free, by the way. Tranquilita. Because it's a really great opportunity. It's my. I'm going to be in front of the, the people that are going to hire me. I'm going to get a lot of business from this. I know it's, it's a great opportunity and they reach out to me. I would have reached out to them and done it, like offered it for free. But I was like, my, my. And I was like, what comes from the ego?

What's.

Lack of peace? How help me discern. So then I went back to exploration and I. And aligned. Exploration and alignment. Right. Like I was talking to people, doing research and like connecting with that, like trying to align with my emotions. And I spoke to Philanita and they're like, no brainer, you have to do it. But yeah, it's a slap in the face. Oh yeah, that sucks. Whatever. I'm like, okay, you can negotiate. You could negotiate back to the 1500. You could tell them like, hey, I'll do it for free but buy all the books. And I'm like, like something that didn't align with that was. I am really easy to work with when it comes to speaking and I take pride in that. And I, it's part of my brand. When people, when corporations call me about speaking or workshops or whatever, I'm like, yes, kind of girl. Hey, can you do it this way? Yes, of course. And can you change it a little bit? Yes. And it's a day off and like, hey, can we reschedule?

Yes.

And can you do two hours instead of one? Yes. Yes. Like, oh, I forgot to send you the payment. No problem. Yes. Yes. Like, that's part of. I love being that way because corporations have a lot going on so they don't have to worry about me being picky and making their lives difficult. Like, why worry? So, so then I'm like, if I start negotiating in the email and going back and forth like, it's not me, it's not Aligned with my brand and what I stand for. So that didn't feel right. And I call my husband. My husband, you know, knows me well and I'm like, I explained to him and he's here. He validates me. He agrees with me. Like, he also thinks it's a no brainer and I must do it. So he said, baby, forget this lady. She doesn't mind you. This lady reached out to me because she saw me speak at St. Louis and love me, right? Forget this lady. She doesn't know what she's doing. She's new to this. She's not on my. Like, don't forget her. Like, go to the website of this place. Like, like, do you stand for what they stand for? Do you like what they're doing? Do you want to support them? Is this, Would this serve you? Like, are you going to get in front of people? Can you leverage this? Like yes, yes, yes. Forget the lady. Respond to the, the Domino's Pizza guy is the one who founded this organization. It's called Legatus and it's like a, like a entrepreneurial Catholic organization. Like, you know, respond to him or respond to the, to the mission of the place. Forget the lady. I was like, ah. I was suddenly like all my stress, I'm like, who, like who does she think she is and why is she like all of that crap went away. And I wrote, I had actually prayed about this and I'm in. Didn't say anything. I'm in for the 500. I mean I'm in like let me know when and where to show up and da da, da, da da. And then it was like ah, like it was easy. Betsy, you know, she's. It was, it was me, right? Like, it was. Yeah. It felt so good. So. And, and how would they. What they end up paying me? No importa. Because that's going to be like, like over a hundred thousand dollars speaking engagement. When I leverage what's going to come out of it. Like, I know it in my heart. So important what they pay me. If they pay me, maybe I will give it to charity. So, you know, so explorate. It's like just keep, keep at it until you find that like peace within you. I'm telling you, I started writing that email like 20 times over the course of the last week. I. I respond. She, she wrote not the last week, like the last four days, five days. So it's a process. We get to have the patience to go through it. So the C is connection and. Or like I used to think of it. Of control. So, like, we had control the first three steps. Now we release control. And when we release control, when we surrender, we connect. And when. And connection means stillness. Stillness. You did all the research. You went through all the things. You have all the ideas. Now be still. Be still and know that I am God. Take their time. Pray about it. Put it in your surrender list. Don't think about it anymore. God, when you're ready to reveal it to me, let me know. And, you know, maybe journal and ask God to, you know, write through you if there's a little bit of a sense of urgency because there's a deadline. But otherwise, just. Just wait. Be still. Wait with intention. Be still. And it'll be revealed to you. And one day you'll wake up and be like, this is it. This is what I'm gonna do. Or someone will invite you to do something. You're like, it wasn't A, B, C, D, E, or F. It was the. Like, it's something that you haven't considered yet. Like, that happened to me with guys. I was like, am I gonna marry this boyfriend or that ex boyfriend or the other one or the one that I like while I'm with my boyfriend? Like, it was none of the above. I hadn't met him yet, so of course I, you know, I was giving God multiple choice and I was like, okay, stay with this one for now. But it's none of the above. So thank goodness it was none of the above. And then E is execution. So here, when you connect, you could be like, I'm going to do a startup with my sister. And then you, like, sit with it in stillness and prayer and. Or I'm gonna. I'm gonna apply to this job or I'm gonna do whatever. And you make the decision. Yeah, you made the decision. Like, okay, this is what I'm gonna do. But you don't execute and execute on it. Maybe you don't inform it to the people. Like, let's say, like, you went to a job interview and. And you're like, I'm gonna take the job. But you don't tell them you're gonna take it just yet. You sit with it, you sleep on it, you pray about it. And if your heart expands and you feel good about it and you're excited and you then sign the contract. But if you're not, then you don't sign again. And if you sign the contract and you haven't started the job and you have this thing, you have the opportunity to recalculate and Make a U turn. And if you sign the contract and you started the job and you realize, like, oh my gosh, no, you quit. And of course we don't want to get to those places because socially speaking, they're not professional. It's not appropriate and doesn't look good. That's why we go through this process so that we can be really intentional about making the best decision yet. But if we failed at some point, or we didn't have information that came up late. Yes. Later. Or we felt pressured at some point and we skipped a step. And that happens. It's okay. It's okay. I, I, I just, I just heard of a friend of mine, a friend of the family who was going to a wedding, and the wedding was canc. It was a cruise. It was cancelled. They had gotten married by the state. They were getting married, you know, like, they were leaving on the cruise, like, three days later for the actual wedding. And in those three days, something happened and they broke up and no more wedding. Like, it's, I, you know, it's okay. It's crazy and painful, but it's possible. So that's peace. I don't know if we should do the present thing. I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna pause real quick, real quick here and get a little bit of your feedback. Do you have any thoughts about decision making?

I was just gonna say I had a call with Elizabeth yesterday that was awesome. And I do think, like.

I, I.

Feel like I'm in a state that I'm being too theoretical. And like, Elizabeth helped me see that. Like, just like, start writing things on paper. Because even like the first step of a. What is it? Priority and purpose.

Purpose.

Like, like, I just have to move on. Like, the priority and purpose that I gave is like, I just have to be like, okay, it's good enough.

Move on. Exploration.

Write it down.

Three calls. Next.

Like, you know, because sometimes it's hard to like, but what is my priority right now?

I don't know.

Do I have to meditate for two more, like more hours a day so that I know and really feel it and know it's my priority?

You know, I wouldn't force the meditating on it so that I can get an answer right now. I wouldn't force that. Unless if, if I have, if I have an interview or I have, you know, I have a meeting with the person who's going to hire me and we're going to sign the agreement in the meeting or that's the plan. I will spend a little Extra time meditating that day. I may not get the answer in the meditation, but it may come out of my mouth like it's happened to me, where I go into a meeting, I'm like, I have no idea what you want me to do with this. What the heck? And I'm about to start the meeting, and I just. I just. Whatever comes out of me. And then in hindsight, I realize that, you know, he's never. God's never late, but. But you're trying to control the surrender. You are related to me for sure. I was your mother in another world, in another life. And the idea is, the whole point of surrender is for you not to control it. But you're like, I'm gonna meditate so that I can control the outcome and the answer. Meditate to spend time in silence, solitude and stillness so that you can be more aligned with God and leave room for listening to him. But. It's really annoying. Trust me, I know. It's.

How about going back to when you were talking about visualization? Like, what if she were to, like, do. Go through the process of, like, visualization with. With each of your options and, like, seeing which one feels good or feels like the best.

That's a great exercise for exploration. Slash alignment. Yes. So, like, are you excited? That's making a decision, right? Make a decision and visualize it and then see how it feels. So that's a way of. There are ways of speeding up the process with tools. There are ways, but ultimately we, like, we trust that God was never late and he will give you the peace. Like, I had a deadline for last week. I was supposed to give the assignment of coaches and clients to give me the piece. So I was like, oh, like, do I seem unprofessional and don't deliver and risk that? They think that I didn't do anything about this or I didn't work hard enough, or do I just follow guidance? It was really important to me because it's important to me that you get the right coach and the right client so that supports you throughout the journey. Deadline. Because his time is different to mine. And guess what? Nothing happened. No, it wasn't the end of the world. People didn't quit the coaching academy. It's fine. We put deadlines, and it's like he's talking to God. You're not God. You don't know. You don't know more than him. I promise you. I found that the wrong way, the hard way.

I can.

I.

Can you guys hear me?

Yes. Hi. Hi, everyone.

I'M glad to see you all. I just wanted to say that I think sometimes you have a purpose, you have your priority, you're doing the exploration, you have an alignment, but then you don't execute. You know, it's like sometimes you have to execute and then say, oh, well, this isn't the right one. And then, you know, move on. But you have to. Because if not we think so much that then. And we're waiting for that answer. But, but it's almost like we, we put ourselves like a hamper. I don't know if that makes sense. But we, we put ourselves in the way, let's say instead of just opening up and, you know, receiving whatever it is and going through the exercise and then just doing it, you know, the execution of, of who, which maybe it's the visualization or the interviews or whatever it is that would help you kind of say, oh, this is, you know, I think alignment is like the, the out of all these things, it's per perp. I don't have to pick them. But I'm saying, you know, you have your purpose and then what am I.

Aligning with and how am I going.

To connect and execute? I mean, it, it's pretty nicely divided for us to understand it because I think we do these things all the time. But when you break it up like this, you realize, oh, this is what we do. So my question I posed to you is, is like, is this what you're doing in your mind when you're trying to make these decisions?

Yes, yes. Yeah. And, and they, there's overlap and we go back and forth. And to your point, Elizabeth, sometimes I execution is exploration. Right? Like sometimes you execute and you make the decision and only to realize, nah, this doesn't, I don't, this does not look the way I. It looked like in my head. So then you go back to exploration and you're able to remove that because it's not aligned. I like. But you wouldn't have known. She wouldn't have known if she would have loved coaching had she not spent two hours talking to someone who was telling her about her problem. Or she wouldn't have known that webinars may be a way of content creation and it may be fun and she may have groups and whatever, and, and it's not as heavy as one on one unless she did it right. So she executed on an idea and now she gets to this turn. She has better information for the exploration part of like, oh, yeah, no, no, I don't want to do that. Or oh, yeah, that, that was okay. I can do that again and you know, keep trying. So. Yes, but yes, that's the process I go through. Yes. And, and I, and ultimately the one that I value the most is the sea. Because Eve, like the sea can exist alone in this process if I don't do the research and do the priority. And, and I, and I just go straight to like, I put something in my heart and you know, like, I'm in surrender. I mean, I'm in connection. I, I can go from C to E and then I skip pea. Right. So I would say C is the most important because it's the one. It's when you make decisions. The first three are make decision with your mind and that can drive you crazy. The C is make decision with guidance. And if God made the decision for me, if I'm living the dreams that he has for me, I'm. I know I'm never going to fail because he knows the future. I don't. He knows what I'm gonna. Like, I don't. So he knows he. All things work for the good of those who love him. Like, even if it's a failed things like, I know it was, it was meant to support me. So I would say C is don't skip C. Don't rush C. That's C. Yes.

So Elizabeth said something and it, it made me think. I have two people in my life that are big overthinkers and even like little decisions, like big, big overthinkers. So you're saying that even with those, you're like, God help me make this little decision. Like, do I go to the dining hall right now or not? Do I say hello or not?

Do I.

You know, it's like, oh my God, why do you overthink everything?

What I'm thinking of when, with that example is more of the decision to overthink than going to the dining hall or going. Doing the thing. The, the actual overthinking. Right. So when you tell me that, my first reaction is instead of doing the piece acronym for every little thing, why don't we go to the cost of those little overthinking decisions like, and then take that through the process. Because it's ultimately a choice and a habit to overthink that, you know, they can just decide. I'm not going to engage with this. If I'm prompted to go to the dining hall, I'm just going to go. And, And I think the 5 second rule from Mel Robbins now that let them is in. In such. Has such popularity at mucho. Her last book let them maybe like read like, like understanding. And there's videos on YouTube. They don't, you don't even have to read the whole book. There's short videos. I think I may be, I have it in, in my teens group manual. So I may, I may send you one. But you could Google on YouTube mean you could YouTube Mel Robin's five second rule. And I think that may be helpful for those cases more than the piece. So the five second rule essentially says that your brain has like whenever some divine, some in some inner wisdom pops up, like I should go to the dining room, I should introduce myself to this person. I should go greet Fito. I should whatever. Like those little things that people tend to overthink that you have five seconds between that moment of clarity and wisdom and your brain like your mind like sabotaging the possibility. And so then you go the moment you think it do I go to the dining room. But you, you literally count backwards. 5, 4. As you walk there. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And do it right. Like just do it. So I think for an overthinker I would. So no, I think for those examples I would use the five second rule. But I would take the overthinking decision that they don't realize is a decision because it's automated to have it through the piece. And then I could discern is does this serve me? Is this aligned with where I want to be? Like every time I under overthink things and I feel anxious and da da da da da. So I would take that through piece.

But that's like, so you say like why. You have to get down to why they're overthinking. Oh, they're, they're insecure.

That's like a whole other process that, that's not necessarily. Yes. So in a, in a coaching process, like how does overthinking support you? How does it serve you so that we can disarm it and we can understand where it's coming from and maybe substitute with other, other habits and you know, so that would be like a coaching approach to how do I support you to become less of an overthinker. But when it comes to decision making process, which is, you know, the topic of today, if you want to take that through peace, then it wouldn't look like where does it come from? It doesn't matter because peace is more about moving forward, not about processing the past. It would look like is more a big decision. Piece is that no piece is the, the main decision which is choosing to engage with overthinking. Right. Like, so you don't worry about where does it come from. You worry about where does it come from in the coaching process to help you, to help you this, to help disarm the power that overthinking has over you. But if you're going to get put overthinking through peace, it would look like what's my priority? My priority is to find joy and peace in my life. What's the exploration? I could continue overthinking, which is what I'm already doing. I could engage in coaching to like release, you know, release that habit. I could do nothing about it, whatever. Right. Those are different options. Then the A would be okay, overthinking. I'm going to stay overthinking things. Does this serve me in fulfilling peace? Is this aligned with me experiencing peace? No, it brought me on my peace. It creates a lot of anxiety, creates a lot of uncertainty. Okay, then that's not aligned. Then the decision is where we're going to release that and how we're going to do that is now we go to coaching and we explore where does it come from, how can we substitute it makes sense.

Betsy, can I say something really quick?

Yes, of course.

So. I'm, I'm personally not an overthinker. And, and I'm just sharing this, Mariana, just maybe a little bit of. Of aging gives some. I don't know if I'm saying this right. Let's say a little bit of wise. Like when I was younger.

Yes, right.

And when you. When I was younger or when people are younger, they, they're. They're kind of like second guessing themselves.

Right?

Like, do I do this or do I do this? And which is the right one and which is the wrong one? And, and, and the, the. For me, at least the older I got, the more I realized that God is going to open the doors that you're. That. That are going to be clear to you. And I, And I stopped doing that overthinking because I realized I'm just gonna execute. I'm gonna, I'm gonna pray about it, I'm gonna ask about it, and then I'm gonna execute. And if one in the process of executing, the doors will close, if that's not the path you're not supposed to be on and the doors will open like clearly, like, it's like, wow. But you have to get to the point of being that to, you know, not, not. You have to. I used. I had to get to the point of getting to the execution. So I realized like, oh, okay, well it's, it wasn't this, but who cares if it wasn't this? It's this one. Like it, it didn't, it wasn't as heavy on the decision. It was more of oh, now I, now I understand that this is the right decision because I already tried this, this and this one. And even though those were wrong, it's there, there's really no wrong decision. It's just what God wants better for you. So when, when you live in, you know, I'm going to try all of them. I'm going to travel and I'm going to live with purpose and I'm also going to do the startup and I'm also going to do, and you know what if, when I do this, this one closes the door, I'm going to do this one. And especially at your age, it's, and, and, and, and there's no, when you have kids and when you have, you know, maybe there's not as many ends, right? Because now you have somebody else you have to worry about or a husband or you know, other decisions that are, I think even, you know, like, but at your age or at my kids age, it's like, no, no, no, it's and, and this and this and I'm going to do all of them. And then the one that God wants you to go through is you're gonna see like the door is going to be like, here, here you go, this is the one. I mean again, that's, that's what, I'm 40, I'll be turning 50 this year. And I, and, and in the later part of my 50s or the later part of my, you know, let's say middle, middle years, I realized that there is no wrong answer. They're all right. It's just which one is God's like avenue for you?

Dream for you, dream for you.

And the life that I live now, I, I, I could have never, ever designed it on my own. Like, there's no way, like if I were to write it down when I was in my 20s, it would have been like, there's no way that, you know, I would, you know, be able to have a business and work with my family and also be able to enjoy my grandchildren and also be able to travel and also be like, I, I, if I would have written it down, it would have been like, there's no way I could have designed that on my own. And, and, and by the way, God, sometimes like, So it wasn't all like, oh, awesome. It's so great. But it. It was very crystal clear that, you know. You know, live by what I'm telling you, and. And you're gonna be. And it's gonna be good. So just.

That is incredible wisdom, Evelyn. Incredible wisdom. Do it all that. Dabble into all those things and. And get information from that. And what she said was so beautifully said. Like, you can't even imagine what God has in store for you now. Like, you. You can't. So trying to make a decision now when you can't even, like, hold it in your mind or imagine it is. It's. It makes no sense. So just make the decisions that you can now, and then you'll get closer and closer to it. That was. Sometimes you think that you want to.

Do something and you go down that path and you realize, like, this is not what I want to do. Like, it makes that decision clear that it's not the decision that you want to continue to live in.

Which might.

Make you overthink even more, but it's true.

And remember, that purpose is that which never changes. So if it looks like the startup, you know, the way you're exercising your purpose, or if it looks like the job, or if it looks like traveling, or if it looks like being still, if it looks like it doesn't matter, because it.

What.

What it looks like is going to change no matter what. I was the couple's whisperer, and then I was the grief, like, the hope lady, and then I was the coaching academy person, and I'm the greatness. Like, it's. It's. It looks differently. It's okay, it's. But ultimately, are you in alignment with. With what God created you to be or do? And you'll know as you go and feel into every experience that you have.

And also, sorry to add something probably a little stupid, but.

Oh, please.

My mom used to tell me, you.

Know.

Because I would date somebody, and in two months, I was like, no, no, this guy's not for me. And then I would date somebody else. No, no, no, this guy's not for me either. And then I would date somebody. My mom was like, like, I don't understand. Thank you. And I used to think, like, what exactly is she saying by that? Until God put the person that. That. Even when I said, you know what? This one's not for me, he goes, no, no, no. Oh, this one is for you. And he made. And he made sure that that was the one that was for me. Because, you know, I could. In my younger age, I Could have been like a little bit lokita and been like, oh, no, no, I don't. I don't want that. No, I don't. It was like, no, no, no. This one is for you.

And by the way, it's her second marriage, so the first decision was the. Not the right one for her long term. Right. So even then. Even then, I think she would have chosen Oliver from the beginning had she done the coaching academy before marrying anybody. But. So don't worry, Mariana. You have this. These tools. But, yeah, it's. It's part of the journey. Okay, so I am thinking. Any other questions or any other thoughts? Okay, so I'm thinking tonight, like, because I want to give it the proper space, I think I'm going to skip to Lent because that's more pressing. And then next week I'll share. I mean, next week, next month, I'll share with you. Like, the exercise and how to be present when you're busy. If you have a sense of urgency and you want to talk about it before, just reach out to me and I'll make the time to support you. Is. Does that work for you? Does that. Is that okay? Okay. So let's go to Lens, because I think we get to. We get to be intentional, this lens, and let it, like, use it and leverage it to transform us and continue our journey. Okay. So for. I think all of you are familiar, like Catholic or familiar with Catholicism. There are three. There are three Rs in Lens. They're repentance, reflection, renewal, repentance. I know we're used to thinking of repentance as like. Like a regret or something we did that was wrong and we feel really bad about it. And. And my invitation is to, yes, consider that, of course, like, if there's something that you realize you did and that didn't come from your highest self, you know, connect with that regret and surrender it to God. Give it to God and be intentional about not continuing to engage in the same behavior or, you know, practice. But my invitation is that you think of repentance as return. There's an opportunity. There's an opportunity to. When we repent, we return to our true self, to our highest self, to our essence, to our pureness. Right. Like, when we repent, we return to pure, to clean, to. To holiness, which is what God created us, how God created us in the first place. So retentance is a return to God and a return to self. Reflection is when we're a little more intentional about listening through silence, solitude, and stillness. So when you're reflecting you. Whether it's through journaling or meditation or prayer or mindful walks or mindful practices. When you're reflecting, you are, you're listening more and you're creating space in your mind to download divine wisdom, you know, and experience that connection with God. And what happens with returning and reflecting or spending that time in, in prayer with God is renewal, right? Like you are renewed. And you're renewed because if you return, then you're renewed to your factory settings, which is one with God. It's oneness. When you're born, you're one with God. You're perfect. You haven't, you don't sin. You're. You're fully dependent on him. You're in full surrender. Like, you know, even with mom, like, mom's taking care of you, Mom's breastfeeding, mom's putting you to sleep, moms bathing you, changing you. So you're restoring. Renewal is about restoring our factory settings and, and coming back to who we've always been, but that we've hidden behind the labels that we've assumed. So this is. There's an invitation to practice the three Rs in Lent and then the three pillars according to the church in Lent are prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Prayer. I don't think I have to share much of that is to be in constant communication with God. So while reflection, I think of it more in terms of, of listening because we're creating that space to, to listen. Prayer is about making the space to connect. And it could be you speaking to God. It could also look like silence, but it's just prayer is the, the intentional practice of creating space to connect. And prayer can be what we think of when we think of prayer, like talking to God, listening to God or whatever. But prayer can also be doing things with love and living with purpose. That's a form of prayer doing the dishes with love because it's supporting your family or doing the laundry or, you know, spending time with the kids in Africa and dancing with them and celebrating their birthdays when you have a lot of things to do at home, right? Prayer is, is creating space for God. And that may look like creating space for people, creating space for self care. So anything can be prayer. Anything. If you choose to make it so fasting. I want to invite you to consider a different approach to this. I know that like if you've been, you know, if you're a creator Catholic or you've been practicing, we don't eat meat on, on Ash Wednesday and Friday, the Friday Of Lent, we give up sweets or chocolate or TV or cursing or whatever. And that's cool. I think that's cool if you're. If every time you feel, like, tempted to get the thing that you gave up, you pray, you, you know, you offer it, you. You attribute purpose to it, right? It's not just, I want to lose weight, so let me give up sweets. And fasting is about giving up. So what I plan on fasting and I. This is very embarrassing for me to share. I've come a long way, but it's still struggle with it. What I'm fasting on, what I'm giving up is touching my phone when I'm driving. And my kids have been supporting me through this journey. It's sometimes really annoying because they have no mercy and no tact and no validation and no anything. Like, they're just very cruel. And I've been really good at it. But, like, as soon as I stop in a light, I'll grab the phone and I'll send the message and I'll respond to the person and I'll put something in my calendar or if I remembered something, I'll put it in my. In my reminders. And the reason I'm giving up the phone is because the phone is a distraction for me in times where I could be practicing silence, aside from the morning practice that I already have established. So. And the reason I came up with this is because what separates me from God these days, or we're talking about it, is, is lack of silence. So if lack of silence separates me, then I'm going to create more silence. I'm going to create more space for prayer and silence. And the way I'm going to do that is by fasting a my phone, right? Like, giving up my phone when I'm in the car to allow for silence, solitude and stillness and maybe even connection when my kids are in the. Usually I. I don't use. I don't talk on the phone or use my phone when they're in the car. And they will give me the hardest time when I'm in the car and they. I touch my phone. So, like, I'm. It's like jail, God forbid. But, you know, sometimes I come back from dropping off my daughter in gymnastics and I'm like, what am I going to listen to? What podcast am I going to listen? Who am I going to call? Like, which is good too. So if your priority is like, what separates me from God or what he prevents me from getting closer to him, is not looking out for People I love. So then use that time to make phone calls and call your friend and ask her how she's doing and ask her, call your mom or whatever. Right. Like, so if it's aligned with your process, then maybe it's the opposite of me, but for me, this works. So fasting is about giving up something that prevents you from getting closer to God, or if you give up something that's not good for your health or whatever, then whenever you're tempted to do it, just bring prayer back into the picture and then alms. Giving is about giving, so notice that prayer is about giving up and giving to. While remaining in prayer. So arms giving is about acts of kindness, helping the least fortunate. And many times we think of. Of the poor. Right. But it could also be of people who are in pain, like those who are struggling, those who are going through adversity, whether it's a physical, financial, whatever, adversity, or emotional. So there's someone that is hurting. This is a good time to give them. You give them the gift of you and practice your purpose in. In this. In this way. And so I would love for you to reflect for a moment on what prevents you. What prevents you from getting closer. Whatever. Whatever question helps you more. For my husband, it's like, what prevents you from getting closer to God? Like, what's that obstacle? Or, you know, what separates you from God. So if you could think about that and if you'd like to share, you're welcome to. If not, you can keep it to yourself.

Betsy, when you're saying that you're going to give up your phone, does that mean you're not going to have your phone during Lent or during certain times or.

Oh, that would be a problem. That would be a problem with.

I would love to. On vacation, I give away my phone. I don't even carry my phone.

But.

No, my intention is to put it in the trunk when I get in the car.

Oh, in the car.

Or like, throw it to the back in the car. In the car? Yeah. Or in the. In. In my house, I'm really good. Like, I'll leave it somewhere and I'll forget about it in the car. Since it's my quiet time in the car. Like, I'm. Usually I'm young and in the car I'm like, oh, I think of my phone, right? Like, and usually I have 20,000 text messages because when I was working, I couldn't see them. So if you see that I'm a little slower in answering your messages, bear with me. What prevents you from getting closer to God.

Being busy. Busyness really. And I feel like in the morning I'm. I'm pretty good at it. If I sleep good, I'm pretty good at it. But then like, the rest of the day is like, like. And then at night I'm exhausted, so I just plunk. Can I.

So what can you offer during Lent that will help you create pockets of stillness or silence?

That's a good question. Because I mean, I even put like on my phone, like, stop working. Like a reminder. Stop working. And it's like just. Or I put, you know, stand and stretch, you know, or meditate, like, as a reminder on my phone every day. And it doesn't. And it still doesn't happen.

Oh, maybe engaging, which, this would be helpful for people who are traveling. I know at least every one of your questions was like, how do I stay present while traveling? Maybe you engage the people around you. Maybe you create opportunities with your family to have those moments. So let's say if you have tea with your husband in the morning and. Or you have quality time at night or whatever, maybe you come like, hey, let's do this together. And then now you don't have to like remove yourself from life now you can do life with him, have accountability and, you know, help each other out. My husband and I, like, for example, like, if we want to create that silence and I have him, I include him and I ask him to support me through it. We'll go for walks, which we did last night. Like, we have a heavy, a busy schedule because my daughter, my little, my little one goes to gymnastics every single day, 5:30 to 8:30. So I come home, it's like cooking dinner, this, whatever, let's eat it. And then before you know it, it's 8 o' clock and you have to leave again. So yesterday we were done with dinner at 7:30. He's like, do you want to walk? I'm like, okay, let's go. And I didn't. Like, I was, you know, I had other things pending. But since he's my priority, it was, it was easy to say yes. So I went to sleep a lot later, finishing what I was planning on doing. During that time, Pero gave me that pocket of silence and connection. When you connect with others, you connect with God because is of oneness. We're one with. So if you're connecting with your husband, if you're connecting with your kid, if you're connecting with someone who is also God's creation, you're connecting with yourself and you're connecting with God so it doesn't have to look a certain way. So maybe try that you're walking with hobby or, or having, you know, praying, making. Doing a prayer together. Try one pocket in addition to the morning, one more pocket. Or take the baby for a stroll. And while you're walking, have that moment of silence. And that way you didn't go away, you took your baby with you. Right. Like you said that time with your family.

Kind of like do a second time during the day that I'm connecting and it's not really happening. I can't even like, I've been trying.

That for 10 years. It's been hard to. It's been hard for me too. But if I include someone else. Yeah, yeah, Stacy can do that. Sty can do that until she gets grandkids and then we'll see. Does anybody wanna, anybody else want to share. What prevents you from growing closer to God and what you want to do about it? By the way, I have soul cord tomorrow at 6 o' clock if you want to start Ash, you know, like blend with so core.

Sometimes what happens to me is if I'm in like my morning routine that I like, I like to do my journaling and read my things and then people start with the phone.

Phone.

Like my kids start in a million questions. So I like your putting the phone away thing. I'm gonna try that because it's such a distraction. I can't stand it. And how, you know, I'm solving someone's problem. Yeah, I'm solving someone's problem or whatever. They're giving them advice or talking to them and then. Or send me money and I'm like.

What the heck, dude?

I mean, you know, so yeah, you know, I have a friend that, that she would, she would meditate every day and she would send out a message like, I'm going to be meditating like for an hour. So like, you knew that she was.

That's a good one.

So like, I think that's a good one. In the morning, whenever it is like just to not start with the phone. The phone is. Yeah. When you wake up, immediately you're like, okay, what's happening in the world? And then that throws you off from that centerness or that oneness or it just throws you into the communalness of the world. So I think I'm gonna try that one.

My husband, my husband charges the phone in the bathroom or outside, and he's so good about not letting it own him. He like, you know, he, he puts the alarm so it also gets him out of bed, like, to turn it off, and he leaves it there. And then he goes. And he journals, he prays, he does his thing. He works out. And then whenever there's time for the phone, then he goes, checks it out. It's. It's. It's. He's free.

He's.

He's very free. I think that's what we get to achieve. Okay, one more share. Anybody else?

No, no.

I would like for.

Let them share. And then I just have a question on a text that I received yesterday on coaching, but I. I got a. I'm a little. I just want to ask a question about that when we're done.

No, no, ask it, ask it, ask it. Because it's almost 12.

A question yesterday. I mean, a text that somebody sent me that it was later at night. I haven't even had a chance to look at it today. That they're my coach. So are we assigned a coach now in this program? In this. No.

Oh, there's another. Elizabeth. I must have made a mistake. Oh, okay. Don't worry. I got you.

Reach out to this person.

But I'm so glad you made. Said that because I had actually prepared this. Would you like to do that here? Would you like to. For me to assign coaches so you can support each other?

Do we. Do we answer this now?

Yes. Yes, because I. Because, like, I know somebody. One of you called me, like, hey, like, I would like to continue coaching. So I was like, oh, maybe we can. Maybe we can do the same thing here that we do in the coaching academy. Okay. Okay. So I. Everybody answered, maybe if we.

If we didn't have the coaching academy, I would definitely do this.

And I feel like here we're friends. We could be like, hey, need help?

But the difference is when you. When you are assign somebody, you, You. It's like, it's a commitment, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. So I got three nos, two yeses. So I get to honor that. If you guys want to accord that entropes, you're welcome to do that. I also thought, like, if. If somebody in the actual. In the current coaching academy would like to coach more, to get more reps, like, you know, I'm. I'm also happy to connect you with that, but so reach out to me if there's a question regarding coaching, but for now, I'll bypass that to honor what the majority of you chose.

Now we get to log on to the other one. Be with Betsy another two hours.

Yes.

You're gonna have me again. Oh, my gosh okay, you guys can go for a quick walk or something. Bye, guys. Okay, I'll see you in a month. Call me if you need anything. With anything. La. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.