Hurt 2 Hope Book Launch

Sam, This is my boyfriend for the day. Today would have been Ophi's 10th birthday. And I am happy to say that today I am celebrating the birth of my daughter as we celebrate the birth of Jesus this Christmas. I have spent my entire life preparing for this. I was an engineering major, and I switched to psychology. I strengthened my faith. I went through all these experiences that were preparing me, and yet I was not prepared for such a tragedy. Or so I thought at the moment. The psychology, the face, everything seemed to have gone out the window. Because I'm human and I am a mom. And losing my most precious treasure was something I couldn't have been ready for. So when I experienced and endured that pain, I was like, oh, my gosh. Like I am no different than everybody else who hasn't gone through a PhD in clinical psychology or who. Who hasn't spent the entire life building her faith because nobody can be rescued from pain. But what I realized is that I didn't suffer the way other people suffer because I had hope. And that's what my background in psychology and my faith prepared me for. The hope part. And I think we need hope to survive. It's the one thing that keeps us alive, literally. I've been preparing for the joy of having had my daughter for as long as I had her, because her life was short, but full and complete. And that's what we humans don't understand. That it's not about quantity. It's not about how old. It's about how big of an impact we create. And my daughter, for real, for real, is special. My daughter touched the lives of many, and she continues to do that through me now during her celebration of life, I remember sitting there and listening to all the people that spoke about her. And I don't remember the details as to what they said because everything was a bitter. But I do recall that everybody said how she made them better. And as time has gone by, I've learned about many other stories. Fofi was almost three. She was two years and then once. And she, in those two years and nine months, understood compassion and mercy. And she had the grace of God writing this book. It was inspired as a tribute to my daughter. My daughter, even though she was only three, she was compassionate and loving, and she saw the people that felt invisible. So I wanted to continue her legacy and keep her memory alive. And that's what inspired me to push through. Because writing this book was. Was painful. It was so painful. I had to relive the pain and the darkness to be able to convey it to the reader in detail. And putting yourself through that excruciating agony when you know what it feels like is something people don't want to do. I didn't want to do it, but the pain was lesser than the purpose. I wanted more to. To bring hope and honor my daughter and do my part in this. In this wholeness, in this family, this universe that I'm a part of. Then I wanted to stay comfortable and not be exposed to the pain. I want to believe she's eternal and forget about this temporary thing we call life. I heard that the bad death is not the one that our bodies experience. The worst death is the second death. And that's the death that implies that when we go, nobody remembers us. And we didn't do anything here on earth that was heartfelt enough that touched other people so that we can continue to be remembered. And the way we make people feel lives on. And I figured since my daughter is the kind of person that would look and see the people that didn't feel seen or felt invisible. Since my daughter is the one that couldn't stand seeing the pain in others without running to them and holding and embracing them with compassion, I figured what better way than to create a gift from my heavenly daughter that allowed her to continue doing that while. And that's how this book was born. To love and honor your loved one through service, gratitude and love. It was hard. It was hard. My mom always said that my siblings were my best friends and Poffy really was. She would be a girly girl and play Jessup with me. And then she would be a tomboy and go outside in my cheese with. Most of all, she was a best friend. And she was my best friend. Kofi would copy every single thing I would do and say. In fact, I have proof. Was here on Earth. I would teach her. And when Fulphi went to heaven, she was the one teaching me. I also learned that Folphi was always going to be with me in my heart. Another thing that I learned was you should never go to bed upset with your loved ones because you'll never know if that's the last time you'll see them. When Pophi went to heaven, we would go to our avocado tree that she would climb with Kadito. At this tree, we would pray the Fulfi prayer. I'm so grateful for God. I'm so grateful that God gave me Quid Dito and blessed me with Mia so I can have a sister. So I'd like to invite Nian, Godi of the stage to come play the fufi train with me.

I couldn't be prouder as a dad, as a husband. Thank you, the both of you, to actually, to the four of you, thank you for being the best kids in the world, being the best wife in the world for you. It's. It's an honor to share a home with all of you and to be able to call myself your. Your father and your husband. I started reading the book last week. We were flying to Atlanta for Thanksgiving, and I started reading her. She's sitting beside me with her AirPods on. And I'm reading it, and I'm like, this girl is amazing, right? I love to read. And I'm reading this, and I'm thinking, this is another great book that I'm reading. Except that I'm in this book and I know the author pretty well. And I'm telling you, I'm like, I can't believe this. I'm just amazed. This book is not just for somebody who's lost a child or lost a family member. Betsy makes that very clear in the book. If you haven't read it yet, this is for somebody who's lost something, anything. I think all of us in this room can probably say at some point or another, we've lost something. Lost a marriage, lost a job, our financial security, our friendship, our health, a loved one. The way that she turns that hurt into hope. I mean, the title is perfect. The title couldn't be more spot on. Seven years ago, a little bit over seven years ago, I stood in front of a large audience. Many of you were there. And I was going to talk about my brother Kofi. I put on this same tie that day. This was the last Father's Day gift that Fofi gave me. She gave to me that year, 2013. I did it as a way to remember her. And I remember when I was putting it on, just being really sad, thinking that that was the last gift I was ever going to receive from her here on Earth. The pain was still raw. She had, you know, when I stood up in front of many to talk about her, she had died less than three days before. The pain was wrong. I was sad. But I fast forward seven years later, and I'm not sad. In fact, not only am I not sad, I'm happy. And I think everybody at this table can say the same thing. And we owe that to God. We owe that to this wonderful community that we have. Guys, thank you. We owe it to our family. We owe it to our wonderful friends. But Most importantly, I'm happy today because of you. And I thank you. Thank you for being an amazing wife. Thank you for being an amazing moment. Thank you for putting together such a wonderful celebration for our daughter. Thank you for keeping her spirit alive in such a special way. I believe you can do. Thank you. Because today I put on this tie.

Happy.

I was able to put it on as a happy dad, a happy husband, and it's all because of you.

So thank you. When people ask me, like, how. How do you go from hurt to hope? I know you were in pain because I saw you. And I know you're happy because I witnessed it now. But how, Betsy? And that question. That question. That question was. I guess it was like God's way of using other people to bring me here. I didn't know I had this faith. I learned this in the process because I was hungry for the hope. So I sought it and I, you know, and finally, fortunately, I had a background that I was able to look into and grab some tools from there. But what I feel I've been successful at is inspiring that faith in others. Because since they see me human and raw and real, and I experience the same pain that they're experiencing, and yet they see the joy and the hope and the faith and the. All these things that I feel deeply, then they're like, oh, my gosh, I want that too. So that's part of my mission. It's not just to bring hope to people experiencing adversity and loss. It's to bring people closer to their. To themselves. Because I wholeheartedly believe that God lives inside of us. And when we connect with our true self, we connect with God. So faith is not something that you have to go outside and look for. Faith is something that you just find within. Many times people think that they were dealt a bad hand, bad luck, and that their life is determined by the experiences that they have. But I know for a fact that we decide if we're going to transform a tragedy into a fairy tale or rags to riches, or riches to rags. Right? Like we decide. So I believe that one should not be defined by the loss, the grief, the adversity, the experiences. One is defined by how you respond to those experiences. And I think we all have the opportunity to choose to learn from pain and be elevated with it so that we may rise above adversity and become the person we were created to be and share the story we were meant to tell. I once heard the definition of grit, and it was described as someone who perseveres when things are going great, when things are going terribly, and when things are stagnant. And I feel my journey has been that it's been a testament to grit, which I believe God gives me, because it's. It's almost been a process similar to my grief, in that some days I thought I could do this and I can build the brand and I can be known in social media and the community and I can go places and make a difference. And other times, it was like, at what cost? And in my process, I had to. I had to write and make time for writing. I had to be a mom and a wife and continue to be present for my family. I had to continue to support my team and my staff at work. And at times I wanted to give up, and at times I didn't know if I was going to finally have a book in my hands and see this product finished. But when you have a bigger purpose, and when, when, when, when the. When the reason why you're doing what you're doing is greater than the pain that it takes to do it, you just push through and you. Funny enough, when I think about creating an impact, I'm actually scared of making an impact or being big Betsy, because I honestly feel like the glory is not mine. I don't have what it takes to be happy again after losing my daughter, but I have faith and I have hope, and I believe in this freaking amazing man that's got my back, and that gives me strength when I don't have what it takes. So what I want is for people to see him. What I want is for people to, like, look at me and bypass my face so that they can see him. And to me, that's also a way of getting closer to my daughter because he's a God of mercy and he's letting me in. I hope, because I need to embrace my daughter again. But. But I feel that if. That if I let him guide me and direct me and use me to bring hope, then I know for sure that I'll get to embrace my daughter again. So I'm not worried about creating an impact myself. I am worried about people seeing beyond me. Sam.