Betsy Guerra (speaker) explains the importance of choosing the right life partner and maintaining a healthy marital relationship. Key points: don’t rush into marriage or settle; prioritize choosing a partner who elevates you; for married couples, invest in the couple relationship first because children often mirror couple dynamics; model desired behaviors rather than keeping score; love requires humility, not pride; and a call-to-action directs viewers to betterwithbetsy.com for coaching/support.
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Betsy Guerra.
September 21, 2022.
betterwithbetsy.com
Chapters
Today we're going to talk about the importance of choosing the right partner. You've heard it said before, the people you surround yourself by, you become more like. And the one person you tend to share your life the most is with your partner. So choose wisefully. We oftentimes are so focused on, I want to get married, I want to have someone, I want to share my life with. And we don't pause to think, do I want that more than I want it to be with the right person. Like, just because you're ready for it now doesn't mean you're supposed to settle with whom you're at. So if you're single, ready to mingle, or if you're single with someone, don't rush into your life. Choice of, this is the person I want to live with for the rest of my life. Until you know that's the person you want to be surrounded by. Until you know that that's the person who's going to elevate you by just existing and being part of your life. But if you are already married and you already chose your partner, this is for you as well. My experience having a private practice has been that a lot of my clients have a sense of urgency, and they prioritize for their children to be treated or served or coached. And it's important for them to support their children in whatever struggles they're going through. But they don't realize that the majority of times, the reason their children are struggling is because they're carrying the symptom of the couple. They're carrying the symptom of your family. The problem is not your child. Your child's not defective. The problem is that your child is learning how to focus the attention on him or her so that you guys can take a break from each other. So instead of prioritizing your children, first and foremost, go to your relationship. You guys are the pillar, the foundation of that family that you've built. Prioritize that. Make sure that you choose the version of yourselves as a couple that you want and that you deserve, that you were created for. And in doing so, remember that we get to influence and we get to transform by modeling, not by judging and asking that the other person be the one to change. You want your husband to be more loving. You want him to be more considerate. Practice that you want your wife to show up for you and to give you your place. Then give her her place. We tend to think, like, when you do this, then I'll get to it too. And we play this tit for tat and you did it, but you did it worse. And that's not taking us anywhere. The Bible says that love does not live in pride, right? Like love is not prideful. And we oftentimes in our relationships have this power struggle and we're constantly trying to win. Win what? When you win, you lose in a relationship. So going back to choosing the right spouse, for those of you who are not yet married or have committed to a lifelong relationship, then choose wisely. And for those of you who already chose, transform your relationship. Invest on it. Make it better. Because the role of a husband or a wife is to help that spouse make it to heaven. It's to help them become their best self. If you are not doing that for your spouse, prioritize it now. And if you want some help, go to betterwithbetsy.com I have a fantastic team that will help you reach your goals.
