Webinar #3

Hi, guys. Welcome back, Rita. I'm so happy to see you. And so, Rita, you were here last week, and it's the same webinar, but I'm going to go over it real quickly. I can't hear you. Unmute yourself. I can. I can hear you, Rita. Oh, you have to unmute yourself. Oh, there we go. Can you hear me now? Yes. Okay, good. So I know you were here. And what I'm going to do is I'm just going to do it real quick, and I'll have a little more time for questions and answers so that, you know, so that we can use the time for whatever you guys really need. Sure. No, that's fine. I thought it was the same webinar, but then I said, you know, I don't have nothing going on tonight. I'll just log in and listen to you some more. Well, I'm happy to have you here. Yes, I do enjoy listening to you. Awesome. Okay, so let me start sharing. Hi, Regita. Okay, so I'm going to start sharing my screen. I'm going to go over the things that you already know about real quick, and then we'll get right into it. Okay, so today is about what to do when you feel stuck. And I am going to show you how to become unfazed by external circumstances. So regardless of what you're going through, you're going to have the inner strength and the inner wisdom to deal with whatever comes your way. Turn off all distractions so that we can make the most out of it. I'll try to be quick today so that we have a little more time for questions and answers, but I won't leave until I listen to all your questions. You are in the right place if you are grieving or you feel stuck, if you don't know what to do. If you want to be happy again. And regardless of why you're here, I am super happy to have you. I think. I think all of you have seen my video. Can you send me in the chat if you want me to replay it? So why me? I have the clinical education, but I also have the experience of pain. And I think it's a beautiful combo to be able to empathize and understand what you go through, but also be able to provide you with the clinical expertise that helps guide you as well. I usually present here my story, like the video. Have you seen this video? I think so. Right? No, I believe. Yes, I did. Yes. Right, Right. Bueno. Orgita hasn't seen it, so I'm gonna play it again. Just a couple minutes. My house was seriously a fairy tale. We're about to start construction in the backyard, and we wanted to enjoy the pool one last time with our family and friends. And at some point, my friend asks me, where's Fofi? And when I looked down, I saw her red polka dot mini bathing suit. And at some point, I'm looking at my husband, and he was like, fi, Come on, Fofi, you're strong. You got this, mamita. Let's. Let's go watch movies after here, you know? You got this. I found myself falling on my knees. I just stretched, singing a song to myself. And to me that was like, okay, it's not gonna happen. She wasn't gonna be saved the way I wanted her to be. Sa. Are we ever going to be happy again? Is it possible to be happy again? The priest said those that were happy again chose to honor their children or their lost one through service, through love, acts of kindness, and gratitude. And I want to honor my daughter. So everything that I do is to honor her. I learned through that experience that just because I went through this, it would make people feel more understood and they would feel hopeful. Because if you went through this and you can smile and you can experience joy, then I can too. So everything I do, really, is for my little angel. She wakes me up at 4 these days to write, and it puts me to sleep past midnight also writing for her and for you guys. I'm trying to share the hope that she's brought into my life. I have been able to go from the pain of loss to experience the joy among my surviving family. And I want to help others be able to do the same. I want to be able to help you rise above adversity and overcome the pain that you've experienced. So can you imagine what it will feel like to feel at peace regardless of the circumstances? And that's what we're going to talk about today. No matter how great the pain, you don't have to suffer. And there's a difference between suffering and feeling pain. Pain is the path to healing. Suffering is pain without hope, like wasted pain, or like when we decide that pain is going to be our final destination rather than the tool to achieve healing. So you have the power to. To tap into your inner wisdom and go from being stuck to elevated. And what does it mean to be stuck? It means to be. To feel paralyzed or lost. It's dwelling on the painful past or worrying about the uncertain future. It's having no control over circumstances. So maybe you don't know what you're supposed to do next, and you're scared of what will happen in the future, or you're worried about never being able to overcome the past. And you feel like no matter what you do and how much you try, everything is falling apart and you have no control over it. And if that's what stuck is, then these are the things that you need. You need guidance so that you can stop feeling lost. You need to live in the present moment so that you stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. You need to surrender so that you let go of the control that you don't have anyway. And the best way to do this is through the three S's, practices that involve the three S's, and that is silence, solitude, and stillness. So I have. I've spoken a lot in different workshops and in videos. And a lot of the content that I do has to do with this. And it is included in my book and it is included in the program that I lead online. Give me a second. And I want to share a little more about this and what I want to. What I want to explain about that is like when we engage in a practice of silence, solitude, and stillness, what we're doing is we're quieting our minds, our busy, busy, busy minds. And we are allowing for some space to be created in our minds so that we can download divine information from. Whatever you believe in, to me, it's from. From God, from the Holy Spirit. But if you believe in some other higher power, then that's what you're downloading information from. And the reason this is important is because the mind is limited, as are the human beings. So if we only confide and we only depend on our thoughts, on our intelligence or our wisdom, our abilities, then we're going to always be limited. And the problem is that when we're stuck in a difficult situation or when we experience adversity, loss, pain, hardships, our prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain in charge of making decisions, is compromised. Because what happens is whenever we're in a stressful situation, all the oxygen, like the fight or flight response, the oxygen goes to the extremities of the body so that we can, like, run or fight or do what we need to do to protect ourselves. And the brain stays without enough oxygen. That's why we have difficulty breathing. The that's why we have difficulty thinking. That's why we feel drained, overwhelmed, tired, exhausted. And it's why when we try to think hard about what the right decision is to move forward. We can't. We can't. So depending on our minds, solely on our minds, because we're intellectual and we're smart, and we've been able to use it to get as far as we have gotten to, is very limited and dangerous. So what stillness, solitude, and silence does in a practice of mindfulness or meditation or prayer or breathing exercise, yoga, whatever you're into, that kind of practice allows you to quiet the mind and let go of your humanity, your human thoughts, so that you can welcome your divinity. And when I say divinity, I mean the presence of God within you. We all have a divine source inside of us, right? Like when. When mom and dad made us, they. They made, like, they contributed the genetics. But the. But God deposited the spirit in us. And our spirit is wise beyond belief. It can bend time and space and. And intelligence and IQs. And it's. The wisdom that we get from our spirit is grandiose. So it is important for us to be able to tap into that, because that's where all our answers are. We think like, oh, my gosh, when am I going to be able to find the answer? And there's a story about this man that had. He had lost his car keys, and it was daytime, and he was looking for them in the front yard. And someone passes, like, a neighbor passes by, and the neighbor tells them, like, hey, good man. Like, what are you doing? Oh, I'm looking for my keys. I can't find them anywhere. And he's like, okay, I'll help you. So they both start looking in the grass and in the. In the. Like, everywhere. In the front yard, by the plants, by the mailbox, everything. And then after a little while, the neighbor goes like, buddy, like. Like, just think, where were you the last time you saw those keys? And the man was like, oh, I know exactly where I was. I was inside, in the kitchen. And he's like, so why aren't you looking for the keys in the kitchen inside where you last saw them? Oh, because I figured that there was light outside and there's no electricity, so I couldn't see inside. And I decided to come outside and see if I find them. And it's as ridiculous as it sounds. It's what we do. We look for the answers outside of us, in external pleasures, in people. And this happens. We go to therapists, we go to attorneys, we go to counselors, coaches, and we look for the answers in other resources and people. And it is important to. To seek out professional advice and to allow ourselves to be helped by others that have maybe more experience in the area that we're struggling with. It is important to be guided. But in order to be guided by someone else, you need to choose the right person. You need to choose someone that's aligned with your purpose, your values, what you stand for, your priorities. And I always tell my clients, like, if you're gonna hire. If you're gonna hire an attorney for, like, the custody of the kids or the divorce or whatnot, make sure that you hire an attorney that has your values, that has the best interest of your sanity, your family, your kids, your life. You know, like, not just a person that's gonna be able to get you the most out of it. And we don't realize that the same is true for therapists. If you go to a therapist, and that's an atheist, and you're a person of faith, you're missing out. You're missing out on using a protective factor as powerful as faith is. So go to someone that's aligned with your values and your purpose so that that person can guide you. The problem is, if you're operating from the mind, you may think, no, I should get the one that's the best in the country, rather than that's the best, because they're aligned with your values. And the problem is that because our minds are not necessarily working, operating at 100%, they may guide us the wrong way because we're not tapping into the inner wisdom. So even finding someone to guide us and help us has to come informed by the Holy Spirit within us and by the presence of the divine within us. And I always tell my clients, listen, you don't have to listen. You are the boss. You don't have to listen to what I'm telling you. I'm not going to take offense. I'm still going to be here. Like, I understand that I can counsel you and you can do something completely different to what we talked about. And I'm still going to be here the next time with a. With a smile on my face, because I cannot possibly know what's best for my client, because I've had 20 years of experience. Every person is unique. And I may think I know what's best for someone, and if that person doesn't feel in their spirit that that's the right thing, I want them to be able to voice it and connect with that and prove me wrong, and I'm okay with that. So I feel that no decision that you make, even if it's to find guidance, should come from any other place. But from your spirit. And in order to do that, you need solitude, silence, and stillness. Because it's in those practices that you're able to let go of the mind, give it a break, a timeout, and just connect. And it's hard, and it may feel like a waste of time. And for years, I wish I would have known this before, but for years I thought that to do, to do and to think and to research and to ogu parme, you know, like, to just be hands on was the way to get more done in my life and was the way to succeed further. And I've learned that less is more, less is more. And there are times that the best thing that I can do is be still, be in silence, and be in solitude. And every morning, every morning, the first thing that I wake up is I set a timer. I get up, I set a timer for 20 minutes, and I practice silent prayer or centering prayer. That is my form of stillness, solitude, and silence. And I love it because it is similar to meditation, which I prefer over mindfulness because it involves quieting the mind. And my mind is very, very busy all the time. I know that I need to quiet my mind because it's so hard for me to do so. So meditation, although there's guided. There's different types of meditation, but the one that I'm speaking about is one of just being still in silence. And how that works is you have like 15 minutes or more, if you can, like daily more, the more the better. You have 15 minutes in which you close your eyes. In my case, because it's a form of prayer. I consent to the Holy Spirit to come within me, to come the divine to come within me. And. And I stay in silence for 20 minutes. I always have a bunch of thoughts. So whenever I realize that I have a thought, I'm like, whoa. Okay, so then I repeat, what. What meditation. What they call a mantra in meditation that. That I call. Well, that centering prayer calls a sacred word. So let's say your sacred word is peace. So as soon as you start having a thought, you say, peace, peace, peace. And because you're repeating the word, then that cancels the thought. Because we cannot think about two things at the same time. And that's how we're letting go, letting go of our thoughts and just consenting for. For the grace and the wisdom of God to be bestowed upon us. Another thing that meditation and centering prayer and mindfulness does is it allows you to. It allows you to surrender, to be at ease, to experience peace. Because for that moment, you are in the now, you're in the present. You cannot be thinking about the past and saying your sacred word or being in silence at the same time. So it is a very grounding balancing experience because it quiets everything that has been torturing you. Because as we discussed in our previous webinar, what hurts us is not so much what happens to us, what people say to us or do to us. What hurts us is what we interpret from those actions, behaviors and words. So when we are still, when we're in solitude, when we're silent, we are unfazed by those things. Because in that moment, nobody is hurting you, nobody is saying or doing things, and you're not allowing yourself to bring the thoughts into the present moment that really belong to the or to the uncertain future. So being able to practice something and it could be like you could Google and research and there's a bunch of apps and I'm happy to give you some recommendations if you need me to. But there's a lot of resources that you can use and you can try different things mindful like let me go over a few of them so that you know what they are and then you can explore whichever one you're most intrigued by. Breathing exercises are really important because as I mentioned before, whenever we're in a fight or flight experience or situation, our oxygen goes into our extremities and we're left unable to breathe well and think well. Breathing allows you to get out all the used air from the lungs and replenish it with fresh oxygen. So breathing allows you to like change your brain neurochemically and calm down and become peaceful. Because there are a lot of other things and we've spoken in. Something that I talk about in my online program is affirmations and how you can reprogram your mind by speaking to yourself through self talk. But when you talk to yourself, you have to be in a peaceful state so that the brain and the subconscious mind can connect with it. If you are in fight or flight, if you're anxious, if you're freaking out, if you're nervous, if you're angry, if you're like full of all these emotions, what triggers the cortisol, which is the stress hormone in your brain when there's like a stressful situation is the amygdala. And that part of the brain is nonverbal. It's pre verbal. So at the beginning we need to calm down and balance our brains neurochemically. And we do that through breathing. So breathing is always the Beginning of any mindful practice, I do it before my center in prayer. Even though I'm not, like, hysterical in the mornings or freaking out, like, I'll still do it to, like, get grounded to, to help be, like, stay in the present moment. Because when you're breathing, you're also focusing just on that, and it just replenishes your oxygen and your. And your neurochemical needs in the brain. So starting with breathing allows you to again connect with the present moment and enter a state of balance, of stillness. And then you could still stay. There's a lot of exercises that just involve breathing, and there's all types. There's some to help you relax, there's others to help you, like, have more endurance. There's different kinds of breathing exercises. The ones that help you relax, two of the basic ones are, the most famous ones are known, are the box breathing, which is you inhale for four seconds. So let's do it together. We're going to inhale for four seconds. We're going to pause for four seconds, then exhale, then, then exhale, then hold it for four seconds. Inhale. So we're gonna do like that. It's gonna be a box. So inhale, pause, exhale, pause. Like, hold it. When I say pause, I mean hold it. So we're gonna do that four seconds. Okay, so inhale, stop, Hold it, and then we start again. Inhale, hold it, exhale, hold it. So that is something that helps you relax. And another one that I really like, which is usually the one that I practice, is you inhale for, let's say, three seconds and you exhale for six seconds. So you're going to exhale for twice as long the time that you inhaled for. If you do three seconds, then six, if you do four, then eight. The reason that I like this one is because I have a hard time. Sometimes I have a hard time catching my breath because I'm always so busy and running around that I literally don't stop to breathe. And this form of breathing allows you to empty your lungs from the used air so that you can inhale and really fill them up with the new air. So the reason we inhale for just half the time is because we need to first exhale as much as possible to empty the lungs, and then we can fill them up with the inhale. So. So the exhale is longer because we need to get out all this stuff from there. And I like the symbolic meaning of that. At least the symbolic meaning for me. I have a lot of weight on my Shoulders. And I have a lot of daily experiences that I go through with my clients, with the activities and the projects that I have that are. That are constantly, like, filling my cup. And some of those things drain me. Some of those things pain me, hurt me. So as a therapist, I am constantly listening to problems and to negative things, and I am exposed to a lot of different kinds of energy. So I'm constantly, like, putting a lot of stuff inside that's not good for me. And I need to empty all of it in order to breathe in good information and good energy and like, you know, peace and all these things. So I practice that one because it works for me. And symbolically, I always say, like, I always give it the meaning of I'm inhaling peace and I'm exhaling pain and struggles and stress. And when you inhale, you are. You're. You're triggering the parasympathetic system. Nervous system, Right. And the parasympathetic is the one that relaxes you when you're exhaling. That is the one that is. No, sorry, I got it backwards. When you inhale, like, that's why when you're. When you're, like, stressed out, you, like, you're going like that. When you're inhaling, you are triggering the sympathetic part of the nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system that reacts with when you're in danger and you have to do something. But when you're exhaling, you're triggering the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows you then to relax. So exhaling for longer is also giving you a longer opportunity to let go of all the things that are preventing you from experiencing peace. So breathing is always important and should be a part of every exercise. But you can also do a breathing practice in and of itself. And that's what all the, like, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour may consist of. And mindfulness is being able to use your five senses to experience your present moment without judgment. So, for example, there's different mindful practices, such as body scan, where you go through your entire body and you try to pay attention to what you're feeling in each part of your body. Like, if you're feeling a backache, if you feel your clothes rubbing against your skin, if you're touching the floor with your feet, everything that you touch, you smell, you hear, you see, you taste, you experience in mindful practices without judgment. So let's say. Let's say you practice mindfulness in the morning and you're sitting down and you're. And you're, you have your eyes closed, and then you go to, to the taste, right? To the sense of taste. And you're like, okay, so, like, you taste your morning breath. You taste morning breath. You don't taste. Taste bad morning breath. You know, like, my breath stings. Like, you don't judge it. So the important thing about mindfulness is that you do experience everything with your senses, which are very human and not divine. But when you experience it without judgment, you get closer to that divine wisdom because. It grounds you in the present moment. Being mindful allows you to be present because you're thinking and feeling and processing everything that your senses are, are witnessing in that moment. So that's mindfulness, experiencing life through your senses without judgment. And then meditation. There's millions of meditations. There's guided meditations. There is. There's silent meditation. There's all kinds of, of different types and different ones. And you can look at, you can Google to see which one is more appealing to you. And then there's prayer. And when I say prayer, I'm not. Although it is important and powerful to read the Scriptures, to speak to God, to share your concerns, the one that I'm talking about specifically today is just sitting in silence in the presence of the Holy Spirit, just telling him, like, hey, you have work to do, and I consent for you to come inside of me. Just take over. I'm yours. I'm yours. Because God's a gentleman and he does not go into the lives of those who don't allow him in it. So you have to open the door. And that is a way of doing that I particularly like. You could go to, like, a chapel, a park, like a place in your house where you feel sacred and peaceful. Just find a spot that has, like, that, right, silence and solid, like, where solitude is a beautiful thing. I heard this once, and I think it's so beautiful. Being alone can be something really painful or really amazing. And there are two different words to be able to distinguish between the two. So being alone in a negative way, like, oh, my gosh, I have nobody, nobody cares, I'm alone in this world, is referred to as loneliness. But when you're alone and fulfilled and whole and it feels good and you're like, I want to stay like this forever. I don't want anybody to come and interrupt this. That's solitude. So being in solitude, in stillness and in silence is a gift. It is a beautiful gift. So those are some of the forms, like the practices that can allow you to tap into your inner wisdom. They take time. I would say, like, do them consistently for two weeks and you will start seeing a transformation. I've been doing it for a couple years now, and I feel like. I feel like that has been it for me. I've been doing a whole lot of other. Practicing a whole lot of clinical tools in my life, and they're all powerful and beautiful and important. But even then, like, even though I master reframing and affirmations and doing all these things, I still need the wisdom to know when to practice which. And when I'm feeling and embracing pain or when I am, when I'm dwelling on suffering. And that's part of what we talk about in my online program. It's being able to distinguish between pain and suffering and being able to develop the wisdom to distinguish and discern between the two. So we still need to have contact with our inner wisdom to know if someone that we chose is guiding us the right way, if the tool that we want to implement is appropriate in that moment, and if we're being guided the right way. Because in the end, we all have a life purpose, and our pains are guiding us to that purpose. Our pain is our greatest gift, even though it may sound a little masochist on my behalf. So let me tell you what meditation, mindfulness, prayer, or breathing can do for you. Did I share the screen? Did I share. Oh, I'm not sure. Sorry. The technology and I. Okay, So we said. We said here that what we needed if we felt lost was guidance. When we're worrying about the future and the past, we need the present moment. And when we have no control, we need surrender. Because if we're not going to have control over it anyway, then we need to accept and surrender it to God or to a higher power. And how we get that through a meditation or mindful practice is seeing like living your life by turning on the gps. So instead of global positioning system, to me it's God positioning system. And because we feel lost, when we're stuck in pain, we need guidance. We need to turn on the GPS and say, hey, you know, where am I supposed to go now? I have a decision to make by tomorrow, and I have no idea what that's going to be. Can you give me peace? Because that's how God speaks to us. Can you give me peace with what that decision should be? Can you show me the way? And the thing is, I wish so badly that God would come and tell me, but see, this is how you do it. But the guy does not do that with me. I Don't know if he's that generous with you. So I have to depend on quieting my mind and tapping into my inner wisdom, into the divine wisdom. And the way I do that is by turning on the gps, God's positioning system. So when you use God as your gps, you receive guidance. You receive the gift of living in the present moment, and you receive the ability to surrender. When I speak about guidance. When we get to. When we. When we experience hardship, adversity, pain, we get to the point that we feel we've done it all and we're stuck. We reach that wall, and it's too tall for us to climb with our bare feet or with our human abilities. So when we reach that wall, we have the ability, the power, to be lifted from that wall by our gbs. So he, like, we get to the end, to the. To the dead end, and then he goes like, okay, this is our wall. I was like, okay, I got you. He picks us up and he takes us over that wall or that end, and he gives us all. At that point, sky really is the limit. Because if we continue to do all the things that we know how to do that people can show us how to do, we're gonna be able to accomplish a lot. Like, we have amazing abilities as human beings. The problem is, when we hit our maximum potential as humans, what do we do? Then? When there's that wall, how are we lifted past that wall? And that is living a life that's guided, because at that point, you get directions as well. So if you think of a gps, the other day, I was wanting to get to the Coconut Grove for those that are not from Miami. That is a beautiful little town in Miami. And I wanted to go through Sunset Drive, which is a more scenic drive, like a beautiful street. And you could also go through the expressway, which is the Palmetto. So I turn on the gps, and I'm like, okay, God, I want to go to Coconut Grove. Okay? So I put in the destination in the gps because we have free will, and we get to tell God, like, this is what I want, but don't confuse destination by route. Your. Your final destination is like, you know, God, I want to find peace. I want to be happy again. And if you're going through divorce, it's not like, God, I want to be peaceful, but I want to be peaceful staying in my marriage, because that's the route. You want to be peaceful or you want to stay married? You know, like. And sometimes it coincides. Or let's say, like, you lost a loved one, and you want to find happiness again, or you want to honor your kid through. Through love and. Or your spouse or the person that you lost, you want to. You want to honor them by keeping their memory alive through love and gratitude and service. Then that's your final destination. You think it's going to be through a foundation. You think it's going to be by speaking through speaking engagements, but that's the route. So we just put in the final destination. We don't tell the GPS where to take us through. So we turn on the gps, we put final destination. I put Coconut Grove. And when I'm getting. I'm on the Palmetto, I'm on Sunset Drive, which is the street that I wanted to take all the way. And then the GPS when I'm getting to the Palmetto, which is the expressway, tells me, turn left. And I'm like, no, it's. There's probably a lot of traffic, and it's not as beautiful of a drive. And this is the ride that I know really want. I want to go through here. So I keep going. I think the GPS is just so wrong, so I keep going, and then I get to the next. The next light, and I'm like, okay, the GPS must have. You know, must have figured out that we're going this way. And the GPS tells me, recalculate and make a U turn. I'm like, no, I'm not going to the Palmetto. It doesn't make any sense. I'm going through here. And then I keep on going. And then the GPS is like, recalculating, make a U turn. And I'm like, oh, crap. This doesn't know anything. So I turn it off, and I keep on going. And guess what? I get to the Cocoplum Circle, which is right before you get to the Grove. And there's ambulances and, like, police officers and cars, and it's. It's. There's an accident. There's an accident that I could not see from where I was, because that's the thing about living a guided life. You have bird's eye view. You have a satellite looking at your past, your present, your future, what's gonna happen tomorrow, and how your decisions today are gonna impact your experiences tomorrow. And, like, your GPS is like, knows everything, whereas you just know what you have in front of you, but you can't see what's in front of that wall or that building or the trees and everything. Like, the cars are blocking your view and. And you think you're so smart and you can depend on your mind. Good luck with that. Good luck to me. Because when I got to the cocoplum circle, I was screwed up and I had to come back. I never made it to cocoplum on time. So living a guided life means that we listen to our gps. Not like I did, because I am a recovering control freak and I still have some my days and my symptoms, but I'm working on it. And because I thought the illusion that I could control everything, I would listen to my mind more than I would to my inner wisdom because it was too loud in my mind anyway, there was no space for wisdom. And when I started living a guided life, every little decision I surrender to the Holy Spirit. I'm like, okay, so Today I have 10 hours worth of work and only five hours to do it. So can you, can you hook me up? Because I can't make the, the hours be longer than 60 minutes and you know, like. But can you do something to help me be more efficient and manage to do in five hours what I need to do, what I would typically do in 10. And I can't tell you, like, it's just, it's incredible how, like, it just happens. And I don't take the credit because I know I'm not capable of it. I've proven it before. And sometimes it happens because since I meditated and I had, I was present and I was energetic, I was more efficient. Other times it happens because God wakes me up at 4 o' clock in the morning instead of 6 and I had two extra hours to do some of the work. Other times it happens because that client canceled last minute and that gave me the hour that I needed to complete it. It's amazing. And the beautiful thing about this is that when you're being guided, you're able to recognize all the most minimal blessings because you see how God is putting everything into place to hook you up so that you can get to the Coconut Grove on time. It's amazing. So living a guided life means you don't have to worry about it because you don't know how. You don't, oh, but here's the thing. And then I guess this is how it connects to the present moment. And I'll share a little bit of that. Now, when you live a guided life, you also have the opportunity to live in the present moment because while you're driving, you can only see a little piece of head. So imagine you're driving late at night in the mountains of Georgia and it's pitch black and your headlights only light up 350ft. 350ft are lit up. So you don't know what's ahead of 350ft. And it's pitch black. It's super dark, which is what it feels like when we're in pain. It feels dark and it feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel and when are we going to get there? And we're worried about the final destination, which is a mistake because you're missing out on the process. You're missing out on the beautiful experiences of the process. So what happens is when we're living a guided life with the GPS, we only have 350ft lit up. And we're like, buddy, can you tell me to turn left a little ahead of time so that I prepare? And he's like, I won't tell you a minute earlier than you need it so many times. We're like, okay, God, but can you tell me what's going to happen? And when I'm by, just tell me if in five months, 53 hours and 20 seconds, I am going to be happy again and then I'll figure it out. Like, I'll figure out this time. But no, he doesn't print out the whole map and tell you. Like, so first you're going to turn left, and then you're going to turn right, and then you're going to do this, and then that's going to happen, and then you're going to be happy, and then your husband's going to make your life miserable, and then you're going to feel this piercing pain for having lost that person. And then you're. You're going to be broke as heck and you're going to be living under a bridge, but then you're going to recover. He doesn't tell you all that. You have to go step by step, step by step, trusting and learning all these beautiful virtues of patience, trust, surrender. It's amazing, like, because you, by living the process, you grow and you. And you find the virtues, the strengths, the training that you need to be able to rise up when your time comes. But it's always one step at a time and 350ft of lighting at a time, and we get to chill. We just do what the GPS tells us. We don't even have to think. It's amazing. So living in the present moment is important because there's a. I don't remember who it is that says this, but there's someone that talks about how when we live in the past, we experience depression when we live in the future. We experience anxiety. Only when we're in the present moment can we experience peace. And the idea behind this is that the now is the only time that exists. Now is the only time. If you ask anyone, what time is it now? What time is it now? Now. What time is it? It's now. So it's only now. Time is an illusion. It's a thing that we humans created because we have to put in a little square everything that we can understand. So in order to understand that, we need to, like, label it. So we called it time and hours and days and 24 hours and 60 minutes and 60 seconds. But we made that up. Because what we humans do is we make everything that is infinite finite. And that's why only depending on our minds and our skills is limited, because that is finite, that dies with us. But our spirit, our wisdom, our grace, the presence of God within us, that's eternal. So being able to. To connect with the present moment through any mindful practice of the ones that like, especially the ones that we talked about, allows us to come to the present moment and realize that what we're worrying about isn't really happening. My daughter's not dying right now. I'm not in the streets or under a bridge right now. I'm fully dressed, and I have food to eat right now. I'm here speaking to you guys right now. So right this moment, nothing bad is happening to me. But if I decide to live in the past. Oh, the past that now that was now in the past, that was painful. So if I bring it to my now, then of course it's gonna hurt. And then if I start worrying about, like, oh, my gosh, and then, am I gonna have enough money? Am I gonna be able to do this? Will I find someone that will love me? Am I gonna be able to make that money back? I. You know, like, am I gonna succeed in life? Is there a purpose for me? Is there. Is this the best that I can get? If we don't. If we live in the future, we also don't have the opportunity to embrace the fact that that hasn't happened in Alcoholics Anonymous. And in a lot of the addiction programs, they do the 12 step program, and they have a poem on living one day at a time. And they say that there's two days of. That poem says that there's two days in the week that. When you like that, two days in the week that are. That are not good that you should get rid of. And those days are yesterday and tomorrow. That only today is a day that is valid, that matters. And I had a friend tell me that. And then that's the point that ends with, you got to live one day at a time. And I had a friend that told me that he was an alcoholic and that when he started this program, he was like, oh, my gosh, I can never drink again. There's going to be a time where I'm going to go to Europe with my family, my wife, and I'm going to want to have a bottle of wine and there's a time that I'll go to Ireland and I want to have some scotch and be able to drink something. And he was so worried about that day that he's going to be able to do those things and not be able to drink. It was just. He just couldn't bear it. But then he realized that that day wasn't today, that day wasn't right now. And that what he feels right now is not what he's gonna feel tomorrow. And what he knows right now is not what he's gonna know tomorrow. So this same guy is very happily married, which the alcohol almost cost him his family. And he's gone to Italy and he's gone to Ireland and he's traveled abroad with his family. Family. And he doesn't care to have a drink. He eats delicious food instead. He does not care to have the drink. So he was worried about something that never even happened. Worrying about the future is lack of trust. It's lack of surrender, lack of acceptance. It's being a coward. It's not having enough faith to realize that God's got you. Just follow the GPS. 375ft at a time. And I remember one of the stories that was helpful for me to remember. The idea of living in the present moment was when I, for some time, the darkest part of my grief was how my daughter died. Like, thinking, like, having flashbacks of like. Like, I don't know. I know. Don't know how it happened. I was in the pool with her. So I just don't understand how it happened. So I would try to understand and think and, like, imagine things and have, like, scenarios and imagine what she thought about when she was under the water. Like, mommy, where are you? Like, you're not taking care of me. Like, feeling abandoned, neglected. Like, I had all these, like, nightmares and haunting flashbacks that was. That were consuming me or images of her lifeless body. And when it became real, that that's it, that she wasn't going to be saved. The Way I wanted her to be saved. And a day. There was a day in which the priest that used to be my spiritual director came into my house just to visit and give me a hug. And he stayed for a little bit, and I told him about this, and he was like, betsy, if you had a really bad headache last week, like, a bad migraine, and you were inside, like, in your room with everything, like, all the lights turned off and everything dark, and you were like, it was unbearable, and you took medicine and you got better, and, you know, that already happened. Are you still, like, telling me about this headache today? I'm like, no. If that headache fails, I'm not thinking about that thing anymore. It's gone. Bye, bye, headache. I know. I'm not talking about that headache. And he was like, where's Fofi right now? And I am a woman of faith, and I believe that she's in heaven, and I believe that heaven is a super cool place. It took me a while to, like, really believe in heaven, because, you know, we Christians, we believe in heaven, but God forbid I die. And if we really, truly understood how amazing heaven is, we would all be suicidal and be like, oh, my gosh, I can't wait to die, right? Because So I had to believe that heaven was that amazing place, and that was work that I had to do. But I do believe she's in heaven, and I think she's the happiest kid in heaven. And I can imagine her glowing smile and her, like, vibrance, like. Like, eyes. Big, dark brown eyes. And I, like, I imagine her around flowers and butterflies and, like, the blue skies and translucent green grass. And I have, like, this whole image of how beautiful her home is. And when I thought about it, I'm like, if I think she's there, like, how am I the selfish mom that can be happy for her daughter who is living the life? And I want to be a good mom. So I decided I was gonna believe that. Like, I was gonna become the mom that was happy for her kid instead of the selfish one that wanted to have her by her side. So living in the present moment allowed me to have that vision and embrace it, use it every time I forget it, because I forget it all the time, by the way. These things, you know, being guided, living in the present moment and surrendering. It's not a linear thing that you master, and then you continue doing it forever. Like math, right? Like, you master addition, and then you continue to do addition forever, and you're good. You know that two plus two is Four. This is like an everlasting work in progress. Like, right when I feel like I'm the guided life kind of girl, then I realized, oh, crap, I'm trying to take control again. Or when I feel like, oh, I'm the queen of surrender, then I realize, oh, but I didn't give this up. So. So it is. It is an. Which is beautiful because it keeps us living in the present moment and continuing to work on ourselves. And we never get too comfortable to. To not continue, like, living right, because we don't want to get in survival mode. We want to always be alive. So that's present moment and then surrender. I've mentioned it in many occasions, and what I mean by surrender is we have the opportunity to. We have the opportunity to give up what we can't control because we can't control it anywhere anyway and stop worrying about it. So surrender allows us to accept reality and then use our energy on healing and pursuing what we can control. Because if we're constantly dwelling on, like, but it wasn't supposed to be this way, and, you know, like, he's supposed to give me this, and she was supposed to bury me and. And, you know, like, I work so hard for that money, and I. And I'm, you know, like, I've done so much to be able to be where I'm at. Like, and I've invested so much on this project of that person. If we're constantly battling reality, we're. We're wasting our energy on fighting it. And we're always going to lose because if we're stuck in traffic and we start cursing and Batman, you know, like, start with a road rage, is that gonna make traffic go away? Traffic is there. You can scream, you can fight with it, but it's not gonna change it. Every time we fight against reality, we lose. And every time we don't accept what is, we lose because then we're investing our energy on resisting, on fighting and complaining and being upset by it and so suffering and dwelling on it instead of using our precious and limited energy to heal, to calm ourselves, to ask for guidance, to experience the present moment, to acknowledge the blessings around us. So surrender is. Surrender is not the same as giving up. Some people confuse it and they think, like, no, how can I surrender this? Like, that would be giving up. No, surrender is to give up only what you cannot control and to continue doing what you're guided to do. So surrender is a. Is power. It's a strength, because only people that are courageous enough to relinquish power over their lives can do this. So it is a power. But the people that are too weak to trust, to have patience, to connect with the inner wisdom, to be guided, can't practice surrender. And then it's like they keep. Like they keep running around in circles and they're trapped because they. They can't connect with. With the higher power that's going to allow them to take care of the things that were out of their reach. When we surrender, I surrender everything to God. Like I said, sometimes I catch myself failing at it. But if I see that I'm writing a book and I have deadlines and I am very rigid about, I'm a woman of my word. And if I told my editor I'm going to have it ready by this date, I am going to have it ready by that day. And I can be very rigid when it comes to that because I feel like it's inconsiderate to not meet the deadlines. But I realized that some chapters took longer than I thought they would. And I put in the time and I put in the effort. And I would wake up at four and I would go to sleep at one and I would. And I would get sick because I wasn't resting. And I would do everything in my power and I still could. Couldn't meet the deadline. Then I get to surrender it and I get to accept that God sent me is perfect and that it's okay and that I don't need to be as rigid as I've been in the past. And that that doesn't mean I'm being inconsiderate. So I surrender every little thing in my life. Every little thing. If I don't think I have time, if I don't think I'm capable of being happy again after losing my daughter, I just tell him, like, hey, God, I put it on the gps, like, I want to honor my daughter through joy Guide, like gratitude, service, love. That's in my gps. And then he recalculates the crap out of my life because he's done that many times. And he shows me the way and he tells me what to do, you know, I didn't want to write this book. I was writing a different book for relationships and communication, and I was happy with that. It was my own trademarked a concept, and I was excited about it. And then God came through a person because he usually uses angels or signs or symbols or little thoughts that you're like, this came from something higher than me. And. And that person told me, you need to start your book. With your story. And I'm like, no. What does that have to do with couples and relationship? So you need to start your book with. I'm like, no, it doesn't have any. You need to start your book with your story. And I'm like, okay. So I started it and then I stayed in it. So the next one will be on couples and communication, because I already started it. So guidance. Recalculating. No, make a U turn. And the times in which you feel you lose your peace, those are the times that God is, like, recalculating. Don't go that way. That's not working. Because he speaks through peace. So if you don't. If you're like, yeah, Betsy, but this is so abstract. What do you mean? Like, how do you live a guided life? When you lose sleep over something, when you find yourself agitated because you're going a certain route, or you're thinking about making a decision, or you're hanging out with a person, or if that situation, person or experience robs you of your peace, run the other way. Run the other way. That's God telling you, recalculating. Get the heck out of there, because that's not what I want for you. And when you find peace, even if it's still painful or scary, because peace doesn't remove the emotion, you could still feel a little scared, excited, right? Like, you're scared, but you're excited. You, you. Or you can. You can feel nervous, but you. But you have peace. Like, you. You have that calming sense of, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Then you go that way. That is God telling you what the right route is. And usually, I mean, it has to be scary. It has to be scary for you to, like, if it's too smooth of a ride, I don't know, you question that. But sometimes it has to be scary. And not because we're doomed and we're supposed to suffer, but rather because it is through pain that we accomplish our greatest successes. So we have to make sure that we don't waste that pain because God knows it doesn't feel good. And that is something also that I share in the program where I teach you guys how to use the pain to rise up to from, you know, above adversity. Okay, let's go back here. So I am going to tell you a little bit about the online program that I have, but I wanted to give you some testimonials. I have a client that's been married for over 2, 25 years. She lost her son to Cancer. And when she felt she was done, she was falling apart. She couldn't deal anymore with the pain. She found out her husband had been cheating. Throughout the son's illness, I was still with the woman. And the pain that I. That I felt witnessed. And that woman, I just, I can't even express. But because she was guided and she surrendered and she practiced being in the present moment, not only has she been able to rise from losing her only son, but she also saved her marriage and is happier than ever. Like, they're always sending me pictures and giving me updates. I, you know, I stopped seeing them almost a year ago. So it's. It's been a while and they're still sending me updates on how amazing their life is going. She sent me a text. One of the texts that she sent me a few months ago was, we're getting closer and depending on each other and getting closer to each other and mainly to God. So thank you, our angel, for being a great part of that. So they, they're a beautiful example of using God as the gps. And then this is one of our her to Hope girls. Ah, sorry. And I thank you. I feel like I'm still going to continue because this is literally just how like I have tough, tough, tough days. But I feel that it's just going one day at a time. And these videos, literally when I have my downs, I just go back and just think and you know, I'm not the only one going through these like this awful pain that even though we experience express it differently. It's pain and it comes from inside. I am so proud of you. Thank you. I don't know how to. I don't know how to thank everyone because I literally have you guys in my thought. I actually prayed with my children last night and I was praying for you guys because I'm like, I know that, that you guys are with me. Like, I feel it. Like, I feel that, that, that getting connected with God and with people that, that believe and have faith and helps helps. So she's there, she's her girl and she, she lost her daughter very, very recently. I don't think it's been two months. Maybe. Maybe it's been a little over two months. She's from Dominican Republic and she found the program on Instagram. And the transformation that we've seen in just six weeks with her has been such a beautiful testimony. I'm so proud. And the community that we've built with based on hope, not on loss has also been very special. So we. What would your day look like if you knew exactly what to do and had the energy to do so, because you're guided and you are well informed by the GPS satellite that has bird's eye view. And I just want to emphasize that I'm not different to you. A lot of people are like, no, it's because you have this and you studied psychology and. And you, you know, like, you have faith and you. But the truth is that everything that I've used to tap into my inner wisdom, I have had to learn in the last few years. It had nothing to do with a PhD. It had nothing to do with what I have or don't have. These are things that you can explore and experience and learn yourself. So would you allow me to accompany you in this journey and have the honor of helping you go from being stuck to becoming elevated? I created this online program called From Hurt to Hope because I want to honor my daughter through service. And I found that many times the people that, like, more people were calling me for individual therapy than I was able to see. So it got to the point that I had to stop accepting clients and build up group private practice. But I know that I'm the girl. I'm your girl. I'm the girl for a lot of people. My team is freaking amazing. And they are the people for other situations. But when it comes to adversity or pain or loss, I'm your girl. So I want to be able to support you through it, and I want to be able to honor my daughter in everything that I do because she really gives me purpose and inspiration. So I created this program in which I have the opportunity to bring hope to hopelessness and to help you transform pain into the biggest blessing that leads to hope and happiness. And that program is the Herd to Hope. It is a. It's an online program that consists of five modules. Each module has three or more videos, and each video has like, each video lesson has a hope sheet. So it's like, it's a worksheet, but it brings hope. So I call it Hope Sheets. And those hope sheets are like, allow you to do the clinical work. So I figured, like, you know, I want people to not just hear me say things and be inspired. I want them to be inspired to take action because only through action can you really, like, accomplish the healing that you're looking for. So what I decided to do is I created this program that allows me to reach way more people than one on one because there's not enough time in the day. My. My one on one fees is it's close to $493, 95 an hour. And I also know a lot of people can't afford that. So I decided to do a program that everybody could afford because we have payment options and that would still have the great benefits of individual grief therapy or therapy to be able to overcome any form of hardship or adversity. And in creating these videos and this program, I also added a sense of community because I feel that when we're going through this, being able to see that others are on the same page and in different stages of ours allows us to position ourselves in a more realistic situation or platform where we realize like, okay, so this person felt what I felt. And look, they're feeling joy again and they're feeling they're better. They found hope and this has worked for them. And so it's not just me helping you guys, it's all of us contributing to the growth of one another because we have different experiences and value to share. And that's what I've seen in my virtual sessions. Originally it was supposed to be a questions and answers session, but it evolved into becoming a support group, a group therapy, like whatever you needed and wanted to be. So I have people like. What's beautiful about it also is that it's in blocks of six weeks where you have an hour and a half of the coaching, the free coaching included in the, in the program. And during that hour and a half we do whatever you want. If you want to ask questions about the program, about your life, about your relationship, about whatever you want, then you ask the questions. If you want to process, if you want to share, if you want to say, tell others, like support others, it's been so beautiful. And because it's in lots of six weeks, then you also get to connect with the people in a special way because it's not, it's not like people are coming in and out every week like you, you get a. You make a connection with them. You also have the opportunity to continue engaging in future live coaching sessions for like a 297, which is a very reduced price because you get six weeks, you get nine hours of online coaching, group coaching, which would cost 4,740 if you were paying it at 395 an hour. And then you have the bonus of the live group coaching cost, which is $2,400. You have the members only Facebook group, which allows you to be accountable and get extra content. And you have the hope sheets, which is how you implement to your life. And you apply to your life, the clinical lessons that are being taught in the videos so that this is where you make it your own. If you don't like this, if you don't think it's a good program, if you're not satisfied, if you gave it a shot and you did the work but you thought it sucked, I will give you your money back because I don't believe in buyer's remorse. I want to. Again, I don't do this for the money. The truth is, it may not even make sense to do. To do it if it's for the money. I do this to honor my daughter. So it would be completely unethical against my own values to take your money and not serve you in any way and not bring the hope that I promised. So if you feel that this program wasn't good for you and it didn't bring you the hope that you were hoping for, and it didn't make you a little wiser and a little more connected to your inner wisdom, then show me that you did the videos and attend the sessions and so you get all that for free, and I'll give you the money back 100%. And I'll do it gladly and happily. And I will still love you and, and love to see your face in these webinars every other time. So the program is normally 997. And starting this was the launch year. I started this on March during the pandemic. And so I'm doing a special this year for 3:47. We only have two more sessions left. Once January kicks in, we go back to the 997. And maybe as we continue to add to the program, by the way, you have lifetime access to it. So for as long as this program is online and I continue to add content, you can continue to benefit from that and you can come for refreshers and you can redo the hope sheets so it's not something that expires. So as it continues to grow, because I plan on continuing to include content in the program, then obviously it'll become more expensive, but you, you won't have to pay anything additional. So now at 347, we have payments of 147 every other week. So if you don't, if you can't afford 347 now, then you can do the three payments of 147. And you are welcome to go enroll right now@hertohope.com join if you want to get unstuck and transform your life and learn how to view pain In a light that's going to serve you and your life. And you're responsible for also making a difference in this world. So if you're not doing it for yourself, make sure that you do it for the people you love and for us. Because we're all part of one universe under God. And we're all responsible for bringing our gifts to the world and to contribute to making it a better place than we found it. And I am all yours now. So I am open for questions if you'd like to share anything, any question, any concern, anything. It doesn't even have to be about the webinar, because this is free therapy, guys. So shoot. I'm here and I am comfortable with the awkward silence. So, like, it usually takes people a couple minutes to share. So I will just wait here peacefully and patiently. My assistant has my back. She's like, I can ask a question if you want. She's so sweet. You guys want to see her? She's so awesome. Is this abuse that I have right here at this time? No questions, guys. Free therapy. Yes. Yes, Vivian, you definitely can. I would love that. So the coaching sessions, this session, it changes. And it usually depends on a survey that we do. We're thinking about doing it on Wednesdays at 4 or maybe even 5. But I have like, I have to see if other people can make. Make it at 5 because it's 5 to 6:30. Would 5 work for you, Rita? 5 would work. I can hear you. You have to unmute yourself. Okay, yes, definitely. 5pm Would work best for me. Okay. Four doesn't work, right? No, because I work until 4:30. So I get home at a quarter off 20 or 5. So 5 would work. Okay. Can you take note of that at 5pm? Yeah, I have to figure. I have to figure it out because my evenings are a little hectic and I have some other programs. But we can make it happen. Make it happen. I would love that. Vivian, would that work for you? Five o'? Clock? I know you usually work later. I think for you it was better in the morning. I can make it happen. Okay. You can do it from your phone and you don't have to put. Turn on your camera. Like you could just listen to it on your AirPod. AirPods. Perfect. It'll be Wednesdays. Wednesday is at 5. That's the proposed time. Yeah. Okay. Okay, let's see. So no more questions, you guys. Hey, Betsy, how are you doing? This is Michelle. Hi, Michelle. Yes. So the first one is. Do you think so? Currently I am doing my master's in counseling. And why I landed here is because I follow your work in Facebook and Instagram because I really love it. Do you think this could be a good thing just to gain knowledge as well? I'm not going currently to a rough moment, I would say, but just for knowledge, you know? Well, I have to tell you, Michelle, that what's really cool about this program is that it prepares you for life because it's based on the experience of loss. And we experience loss everything every day. We lost a little bit of youth and we lost our previous day and we lost the previous moment. So we're always experiencing loss, like the loss of expectations, the loss of dreams, the loss we experience failure, adversity. So what's really beautiful about this is that these are tools that you don't only use while you're going through grief or while you're going through the loss of your marriage or your life as you knew it. These are tools that you will be able to apply to every single thing in your life. In fact, one of the most. One of the coolest testimonials I've had is from one of my first girls that was in the first session who's actually continuing in our group coaching now, this next block of sessions. And she lost her mother and she says that she had found herself using all the tools and with her husband, with her kid and in like experience. She's a teacher. So like in stuff at school, like, she was constantly using all the tools that she learned in the program in many different areas of their life. And I use them every single, like every day of my life. I will work like, I will use reframing, which is one of the tools that I talk about, or I'll use visualization exercises. I meditate every day and practice mindfulness. I. I try to live in the present moment every pain that I go through because Waking up at 4 is painful. The other day I had the worst stomach virus. I had to call rescue. I had to call the paramedics. At 3 o' clock in the morning. I felt like an old lady because I felt like I was dehydrating. It was terrible. And I remember in that moment with the piercing pain that I had and I was like, like I would close my eyes and I would try to like, meditate and be in the present moment. And I would, I would, I would literally say thank you to my pain. Like, I would feel grateful for the pain. I would feel grateful for the fact that I was in my house and I could run to, to the bathroom to throw up. And I wasn't caught up in an airplane or somewhere uncomfortable where it's not my home. And I was grateful that I had a husband there. Like, I thought about single mom moms and how they had no one to call and they can't run to the hospital or get, you know, like, they have to do everything themselves. So then in the process, I got a little better as a human being because I was able to appreciate the blessings amidst the pain of being sick and the blessings that I have. And I was also able to send a little love and a heartfelt prayer for the single moms that didn't have the help because I was able to wake up my husband and tell him, I'm dying. God. 9, 1 1. So you. I think it'll be really beautiful for you because although the videos are directed towards people that have lost their marriage, their families, their loved one they like, so the examples may not necessarily resonate directly with you, you will still benefit from, from, like you say, that the knowledge or the wisdom of learning how to embrace pain as a fertilizer that helps you grow. Thank you. Thank you. The next session, Vivian's asking. The next session starts next Wednesday, October 7th. Right. And Sylvie, you were talking about relationship therapy. And I just wanted to tell you that every time Tuesday and all of you, actually, every Tuesday I have a free Q and A. It's usually at 12, but sometimes, depending on events and projects that I have going on, I have to move it to 1:30 or so. But every Tuesday, I do a live Q and A. And you can go to Better with Betsy on Instagram. I do it through Instagram and I always post to let you know the time for that Tuesday, so. So. And you can ask the questions on Instagram or you can ask the questions live. So if you have questions about your relationship, that's that. I thought that was my gift and I thought God wanted me to do. And he was like, just kidding. Betsy, I'm going to recalculate you. You're going to make a U turn and you're going to be working with these things. So I still do work with couples, and I love it. Absolutely love it. But I. But the work that I'm doing at a bigger scale in terms of, like, online programs. Although I have an online program for couples, too. Actually, the work that I'm doing in terms of, like, creating programs and content and writing a book is mostly about overcoming adversity. October 7th. Which apps do you recommend for meditations or for prayers? Affirmations. So for Hallow. I love Hallow because it's a Christian app for meditation. It's not for meditation. It's for prayers. It's for prayers in general, but it includes the Examen de Consciencia, which I love. That's like a form of meditation or mindful practice where at night you go back to your day, you think about the morning, afternoon, and evening, you go back to your day and you relive your day, but with a more conscious mind, more mindfully. And during that time, you explore to see where you felt the presence of God within you and where you need a little improvement. And then it helps you prepare for the next day because you. You have the awareness. It's like literally like Groundhog Day, right? Like you repeat the day you woke up and you went through your day, but you're mindful and you create awareness of where you were really awesome. Or where there's need for improvement. So they include examine the consiencia, they include silent prayer, and they guide you through it, which they tell you what to do in what moment, and then it gives you like the space of Silas and then it puts. Prompts you again. So I love Hallow. H A W. I mean, sorry, H ha L L O W I love. I haven't. I haven't used this one, but I've heard a lot about it. Calm and what's the other one? Can you think of it? Calm and then YouTube videos for guided meditations. You can find all sorts of things. You could Google. Let's say you're going like you're feeling anxious. You could do. You could Google a guided meditation for anxiety if you're feeling. If you're going through a divorce, you can Google like meditation for divorce. But in terms of app, I feel that halo is very complete for prayer. And I've heard really good things about calm too. And I can get you more. I have a. Actually Caro's core challenge on her website. She has a whole list of resources for that. Any more questions, anyone? Hi, Melissa. Thank you. I needed this program. It has helped me so much. Hold on. I needed this program. It has helped me so much through my grief. My girl Hurt to Hope. I love you. And when does the Next session start? October 7th. The cute free Q and A, Tuesdays at noon. Thank you, Betsy. Seriously. Wow. God uses people through the suffering as that's when they're the closest to him. Thank you. Thank you for being a light. Thank you, Kalinda. What kind words. Thank you. Thank you. Pain is A gift. Pain is a gift. And if we start seeing it as such, then we stop suffering. We. I don't. I don't know. I think. I don't know. I can't imagine myself suffering again because even when I'm dying with a stomach virus, thinking, like, I'm dying, I'm feeling terrible, and I'm like, thank you, God, because I'm home and I have a clean bathroom to go to. So, you know, you see life in a different light. Today I needed, like, a light heart. I listened to four books a month, and usually I'm not. I'm trying to learn, but I'm also looking for, like, more resources to recommend to my clients. But sometimes I need, like, a little break from all the. It's a lot of information, constantly, like, coming in. So today I started listening to you can't make this Up. And it's like this comedian, and the guy is hilarious, and he's talking about his story. I was cracking up from the beginning. It's an audiobook. And he said, life is a story full of chapters. And the beauty of life is that not only do you get to choose how you interpret each chapter, which I'm really good about teaching in the program, how to interpret everything, but your interpretation writes the next chapter. It determines whether it's a comedy or tragedy, a fairy tale or horror story. Rags to riches or riches to rags. You can't control the events that happen to you, but you can control your interpretation of them. So why not choose the story that serves the best? You know what's funny? That I thought I had discovered all these things that I share in my online program. I'm like, I am so smart. Look at all these things that I came to realize and learn. And then when I read books, there's people that knew this 100 years ago or, like, 2,000 years ago. And here I am thinking that I'm so smart, right? But. But that's the beauty of pain and connecting with the inner wisdom that when you see that God led you to these answers on your own, and you swore you discovered America, but then you read other people, and you realize that God led them to this place and this place, and everybody had pain in common. You're like, it has to be true. It just has to be true, right? Like, I like he like the title of his book, I can't make this up. The guy. Oh, my God, the guy is hilarious. Like, if you want to go for a laugh, I think that's. I mean, I'm only in the first chapter of the book, so I don't. I'm scared to recommend it, but it may be awesome. Hi, Lucia. I love seeing your face. That's my best friend. Oh, that's your friend? Hi. Yes, it's Garo's friend. Thank you for having this. It's my first time joining a call, so I'm really excited. I'm excited to have you. I have a question for you. So it's come up a lot recently with a couple friends. Obviously, we're living in a very weird time with, like, everything virtual and stuff, but I noticed that I'm not alone in dealing with anxiety a lot. And it's like, sometimes I know where it's coming from, and other times I don't. And I think, especially in college, like, we do it to ourselves. Like, we. I think we try to distract ourselves from it, I guess. Like, what advice do you have? Or is there something that you can. Like, where. Where could you point us for? Like, how to deal with these things and, like, when they do happen, how to, you know, talk ourselves down if we don't have someone else to help us? I think you would benefit from listening to the last webinar, but I'll still answer your question. So in this online program, the second lesson, the second module is about learning how to interpret life, right? Like how to interpret Covid, how to interpret the pandemic, the virtual experience, the fact that you can't go out without a mask. Like, how do you want to. How should we interpret life events, experiences, what other people say and do to us so that it serves us right, so that it allows us to not live a life of anxiety. And events are neutral. Covid is neutral. Death is neutral. Money is neutral. Everything is neutral. It's the meaning that we give to it that makes it positive or negative. So the way you are viewing life is causing the anxiety. It's not Covid. It's not the pandemic. It's not that we're virtual. It's not that you're home 247 and you're about to pull your hairs. It's the story you're telling yourself about that. Because I also know plenty of other people that are like, my husband. Oh, he's semi retired, girl. He's like, what? I work from my walking closet. He works in the vanity. He works like an hour a day, as opposed to eight. And he goes, works out. He gets massages. He cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner, which has been amazing because I've been working a lot. And pandemic has been great. Zoom has been great. Life is good. He's literally semi retired. He's happy as can be, but the way he's interpreted this experience has been different to yours. And he has his family with him, which may drive him crazy too, but he chooses not to interpret it that way. Whereas you may have all your friends that go all over the place, and you may not be have the same social experience that you, that you want and that you're used to. So how you interpret your reality is what causes your anxiety, which means you have the power to reprogram your interpretation, which is another clinical concept or tool called reframing. And I also teach it in the program and, and to, to be able to feel differently. And another thing that has to do with anxiety is like I mentioned before, if you're living in the past, you become depressed because you're like, oh, you know, life wasn't what it was supposed to be. And if you're living in the future, like, what's going to happen and how I'm going to do this and when am I going to see people and when is this going to end and am I going, am I going to get, and am I going to get my mother and my grandmother, my TIA or my well out sick? And if you're worrying about the future, if you're resisting reality, if you're not living in the present moment, experience anxiety or depression. So you also have the opportunity to tap into your inner wisdom through meditation, mindful practices, so that you can be relieved from that anxiety that you are, you're producing to yourself. So those two things I would say, like, like start interpreting life in a different way. And you could use affirmations, which is another tool to do that, which you know, like when you, when you practice self talk and you tell yourself what you want to believe. Like, let's say you say, like, oh my gosh, I'm so nervous right now. Like, you could be like, I'm feeling great. I've never been more at ease and peace. And like, you know, use emotion and just lie to your subconscious mind until you believe it. Because the truth is what you're living is the lie. The truth is what you're going to tell yourself, but you don't believe it, so you're going to think it's a lie. So lie to yourself. Tell yourself how peaceful and how it is and how good it feels to be home and in Zoom so that you can reprogram your mind and reinterpret or reframe the Experiences that you're having. And every time that you find yourself nervous, literally, like, whenever I'm, like, upset. The other day, we were in the car, my husband and I, and we're getting somewhere late, and he took the wrong exit or he took the fast lane, so what's that called? The express lane. He took the express lane, and so then he couldn't exit through the exit that we're supposed to go out. And I was like, we're late and we're. I'm freaking out. I'm like, I can't change this. So I'm like, I need a moment to meditate. And the guy immediately went to turn off the radio, kind of like, let me let this woman do her thing so that she can calm down. And in that moment that I was, like, starting to get antsy and, like, frustrated and freaking out, I just. I closed my eyes and it was hard. It's hard when you're feeling that way. So I practice my breathing, and I practiced the letting go of the thoughts. And by the time we got to the place, I was like, you know, happy. Go lucky. Holding hands with him, everything. Life is great. So practice meditation. It is powerful. You may feel nothing is happening because you're like, I'm here. And by the way, you don't have to do it perfectly. I don't think I've ever had, like, an amazing meditation because I have so many things in my mind. Meditation is not for you to do it perfectly. It's the tool that's going to help you to live a better life. And even if you have a shallow dive, you get wet. So. And you know, a dear friend of mine that may be a friend of yours, too, taught me that when you. When you meditate, when you pray, when you go to the Blessed Sacrament, when you do all these things, it's like being. Like being in the sun. You're getting sunburns. Even though you don't feel it, you don't see the sun, like, darkening your skin. But when you get home, you're like, oh, I'm tanned or I'm burned, you know, and it happens. It happens even when you don't know it's happening. So keep on doing will change your life. To me, that moment of stillness, solitude, and silence is the greatest gift. So there you go. That's her. To hope in a nutshell. Thank you. Good night. I think she already left. Rita, you guys are free to go in peace. You can go in peace. I don't take offense. I just want to stay here. Until the last question is asked to make sure I honor you and your time. But don't let me hold you back. I know it's almost 10. One more question. Did you said that you have another start date in January? Is it November? It's October 7th. And October 7th, December 2nd. Okay, so the first. I mean, the next one starts in October 7th. And we have the block of successions. And then after that we have December 2nd until January. Until January 6th. Okay, and that will be under the same price that you just mentioned, right? Or those. Those two. Yes. Perfect. Thank you. That's the plan. Yeah. Good night, everybody. Ah, I see michelle, She sent me a private message. I. I remember you. Oh, I'm so happy that you're here. Sylvie, do you have any questions? Sylvie Corrales? No, Sylvie doesn't have any questions. Okay, guys, no problem. No problem. Okay, guys, so I will see you Tuesday if you want to join again. And we'll have some more webinars coming up and the. At the end of November. At the end of November. So stay tuned. Go to Better with Betsy so you can follow me and be informed. And you can always sign up. Good night, everybody. Have a good night.