What I Learned After I Lost My Daughter

If you lost a loved one, this video is for you. It's not until you lose someone that you realize that we measure love through tears. If we've lost someone, we. The more we cry, the more we loved, and we measure it that way, and society does as well. Oh, look at that person. She just lost her husband and she's dancing or she's laughing or, wow, this girl, she just lost her child and she's going out and celebrating birthdays or going to parties. We think that love is measured by tears. But love, real deep, true, unconditional love, is measured through gratitude, service, smiles, and by just being a better version of yourself to honor that person. When I lost my daughter, I remember the next day hiding in my walk in closet with my husband. There was a crowd in my house and it was too overwhelming. And our priest came to visit and we allowed him in to our walk in closet. And we were sitting there and my husband asked him desperately, are we ever going to be happy again? Is it possible to be happy again? And the priest looked at us and said, well, based on my experience, some people are happy again and some people are never happy again. And my husband asked, what's the difference? And he responded, the people that are never happy again are those that honored their children through tears and pain and suffering and didn't allow themselves to experience joy again because they felt it was a betrayal to their child or their spouse or their loved one. And he said, the people that are happy again are those who honor their child through service. And I remember in that moment making the decision, I am going to be like the latter. I am going to honor my daughter through love, joy, legacy, service, and gratitude. I didn't realize that I had made that, that choice then, but in hindsight, that's the moment in which I decided what I was going to do every step of the way. And it obviously didn't come in a month or two or a year even, but I knew where I was headed. Even if I had no idea of how to get there, I knew I wanted to be one of those parents. I wanted to honor my daughter through service. And I am here speaking to you because of that. I want to keep her memory alive. I want to continue her legacy of love, and I hope to one day be with her. So I'm standing here before you sharing this message so that you understand that if you're experiencing loss, you have an alternative way of experiencing that, and you can honor your lost one through joy, gratitude, and service. Serve others and be hope for others. The way I've chosen to be. Hope if you enjoyed this video, please like it and share with somebody that would benefit from listening to this message. I am here to serve you, so if you'd like more tools and resources, please visit betterwithbetsy.com.