A first-person YouTube reflection by Betsy Guerra about coping after the death of her daughter. She describes a pivotal moment (a sorrowful bike ride) when she decided to try to find joy again, and distills two central lessons: (1) even when you cannot see a path forward, finding joy again is possible if you decide to pursue it; (2) holding hope prevents suffering — illustrated by a client who, despite decades of suicidal ideation, endured because he believed tomorrow might be better. The video closes with a call-to-action and a reference to betterwithbetsy.com for resources.
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I learned a lot of things after losing my daughter, but here are two of the most valuable lessons that I've learned ever since, and I want to share them with you. One of the first questions that I had after losing my daughter was, is it possible to be happy again? And the day after her passing, we were trying to hide from the multitude, the crowd in the house, and my husband and I went for a bike ride with my oldest daughter after having given her the news. And it was such a solemn, sad bike ride, something that we enjoyed so much. And there was always giggles and joy, and happiness became so excruciating. We rode to the park and we were just so sad that I remember thinking, is this how it's always going to be from now on? And the pain was so excruciating that I couldn't imagine the possibility of ever being happy again. I couldn't fathom that possibility. I couldn't see the light. But I wanted to. I wanted to be happy again. I remember having a conversation that day with my husband and telling each other that we wanted to find joy again. We wanted to go on a bike ride and laugh again and enjoy it. And although I didn't see it that day, in hindsight, I realized that that's the day I made the decision to find joy in my heart and in my life again. I didn't know when or if it was even possible, but I wanted it. So. One of the first lessons that I experienced after losing my daughter is that even when you have no idea of how you're going to accomplish something or how you're going to get to where you want to get to, or how you're going to joy again after having experienced an excruciating pain, it's possible. Even if you can't see it, it is possible. And that is one of the truths that I learned and I want to share with you. The second one is that if you have hope, you will not suffer. You will endure the pain, but you won't suffer. If you have hope, in that it's going to get and that you're going to find joy again, in that you're going to find love once more. If you have hope, then tomorrow may be the day. I have a client that came and he had all sorts of misfortunes. He had been in jail, he had been in the army and had killed and seen people get killed. He had experienced depression, anxiety, and for 40 years, he had been wanting to commit suicide ever, every single day. And I asked him, why haven't you why haven't you, if you've had this thought every day of your life for 40 years? And he said, because I always think, what if tomorrow is better? What if. What if joy was right around the corner? What if life satisfaction was just awaiting and I missed it? That's hope. If you have hope while going through whatever struggles you're going through, and if you believe that it is possible to acquire and achieve what you want to so wholeheartedly, it is possible. You just have to have faith and hope in that outcome. If you thought this was helpful, please like and subscribe and share with somebody that may benefit from listening to this. For more tools and resources, please visit betterwithbetsy. Com.
