Betsy Guerra distinguishes religion as the beliefs and practices you learn, spirituality as your personal relationship with God. She argues religion can sometimes block genuine connection, sharing how she found healing after losing her daughter through spirituality rather than church rules.
Chapters
What is the difference between religion and spirituality? I often heard people say, I am not religious, but I'm very spiritual. And I always wondered, like, what do you mean? How can you be one without the other? I didn't understand. So I explored further and I realized that there were three important things about this distinction. Number one, religion is where we learn about God. It's how we choose to worship him and the story we believe about him so that we can have some form of clarity in our human minds. Spirituality is our relationship with God. So I then understood that there are some religious people who are not spiritual because they know all the commandments and they know the Bible from beginning to end, but they don't necessarily have a relationship with God. And then there's people who are spiritual but don't necessarily believe in religious beliefs. And the second thing I discovered is that religion ultimately is a label like many others. It's an identity that we can adopt. I am Catholic and what that means is I believe in God, I go to Mass, I have all these beliefs that Catholics stand for. But labels should only be for us to be able to communicate more effectively with people. It's like diagnosis. Diagnoses are not to define someone. Diagnoses are meant to explain what are the symptoms that that person is experiencing. Well, the same is true with labels and identities. And religion is one of those. And the reason I'm emphasizing this is because we are not just Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Mormon, whatever religion you stand for. We are children of God. We're human beings. We are, period. And when we put labels, we limit ourselves. And that takes me to the third thing that I discovered in this research that I did. The third thing is sometimes religion gets in the way of our spirituality. Your religious identity can get in the way of your relationship with God. Let me tell you a little bit about this. Growing up, I interpreted from my parents upbringing, God is a God of love and mercy. But God forbid you don't go to church on Sunday because then you're a sinner and you should feel guilty about it and you should need to go to confession. And I remember thinking like, how could this loving and merciful God feel that way about me? What if the reason I didn't go to mass on Sunday is because I was taking care of my sick grandma? What if it was because I stayed with my son who I just gave birth to and God entrusted me with him and he's taking a nap. What if the reason I didn't go to church is for a greater good? It's Because I am being a good Christian by using my love, my service, my compassion for someone else. What if? Would this God, this loving and merciful God be pissed off at me? There are so many other examples that I could give as to what we've learned in our church is right. And then we go out and we judge people. We instead of loving them like ourselves and God above all things, which is the main commandment, we go and we judge and we point fingers as to why that person not doing the right thing. We go to church to do that. Oh, look at what that's wearing. Oh my goodness, can you believe this person is talking in mass? Or like, look at that kid is so misbehaved. Like, come on, are we going to focus on the religious rules, dogmas, beliefs, or are we going to prioritize love because God is love? Why am I saying this? I have discovered, especially after losing my daughter and experiencing the most painful time of my life, that the best journey to, to healing is our spirituality. It's our relationship with God. That's what's going to help us move forward, rise up and find joy again. So if you've been turned off by church, if you don't connect with it, know that you can still connect with God. And if you are in the church, then do both. But don't stay with just religion. I love my Catholic faith and I love my relationship with God. But there are times in which I have to choose between being the best Catholic in the world and condemning something or having a certain mindset about a particular person or practicing what the relationship with God has taught me, which is love. Like St. Augustine said, love and do what you will. If you love, you are experiencing a spiritual life and that very love and that hope and that faith will heal you no matter where you're at. So if religion is not your thing, that's okay. But don't leave God behind. You can still be with him even if you don't show up to church. If you're ready to say yes to the calling of that relationship with God, go to betterwithbetsy.com and we'd be happy to support you further.
