Betsy Guerra explains how changing your habits can get you unstuck. She focuses on how habits shape who you are and affect your communication, relationships, and ability to reach your goals.
Stop. Your routine is not serving you. Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do. And what he meant by that is that we usually become the habits that we've engaged in. So, for example, if I say that I'm not a good communicator, and I tell my spouse, I'm just like that. This is how I am. You met me this way. Is that entirely true? The truth is that there's no such thing as not being a good communicator. We think it's a personality trait, but it's a habit. We have assumed the habits of not communicating clearly, not expressing our emotions, and there's a foundation for that. Maybe it's because you weren't allowed to express yourself as a child. Maybe it's because you were scared of hurting your mom or dad when you spoke about your feelings. There are a lot of habits that have been ingrained in us since we were little that we don't even realize they're habits. Rethink their personality traits. But you can become who you long to be and who you were created to be instead of being stuck in like, this is how I am, and I can't do this because I've never done it. The fact that you've never been a certain way or you've never accomplished something before doesn't mean that you can't. So if there's something you want wholeheartedly, whether it's improving your relationship or your health, becoming healthier or more fit, or maybe it's succeeding in your career or accomplishing any goal, having a beautiful relationship, a fulfilling one, whatever you want, take note of it, make a list. Start with one and think about the routines, the habits that are going to allow you to get there, to accomplish that. So, for example, if I want to be a better wife, which I do, I will wake up every day and ask my husband, how can I make you happy today? Or maybe I'll just do something to make him happy every day. One day he'll come home and I'll make sure that everything's picked up and organized because he likes things like that. Another day, I'll cook his favorite dish, I'll send him a note to work. I'll have a gesture, a thought. If you want to have a better relationship, do things that will lead to a better relationship. The problem is that we want everything, but we don't want the work that comes with it. And all too often, I see my couples come to therapy and say, betsy, I'm willing to do anything. I'm like, okay, then humble yourself, validate your spouse. So if you want to change your life, your relationships, your body, change your habits, because we are what we repeatedly do. If this was helpful, please remember to give me a thumbs up and subscribe and share with someone that may benefit from this message. For more resources, you can Visit my website betterwithbetsy.com.
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