Betsy Guerra (clinical psychologist) recounts hiring a marketing team twice and feeling frustrated when the team again asked her to do work she hoped they'd handle. She recognizes the parallel with couples who expect a therapist to "fix" their partner rather than doing the personal work themselves. Guerra argues that fulfilling relationships require hard work, struggle, and daily effort; she supports this with personal examples (her marriage, family difficulties, and being labeled a "Facebook couple").
Chapters
A couple years ago, I hired a marketing team that taught me amazing things about my business. I was with them for a year. They coached me. They helped me create content. They taught me how to do things, and it was amazing. But it got a little overwhelming after a while because I was working, seeing clients create the content and spend the time to do the work. So I decided to take a break and continue to do the things that I was doing until I organized my business a little better and I was able to go back to them because they're amazing. So fast forward a year, I'm like, okay, that's it. I'm ready for them to do all the work. I decided to hire them again so that they could take care of the marketing and everything having to do with my business and sales and all my services. And I went to them and I told them, okay, I'm here so that you can make my life easier, can do the work, because it's become overwhelming again. And you know how to do it. You know my business, so we don't have to worry about that. And he said, okay, let's do it. And in the next meeting, he comes up with a list of things he wants me to do to create content. And I'm like, this guy didn't get the memo. I want him to do the work. And I told him, like, you're asking me to do more than I was already doing. And I came to you so that you could do the work. And I was so overwhelmed and frustrated that I left that meeting upset and not knowing what to do because I had already paid him my retainer. And I realized that I am just like my clients. I get a lot of couples that come to my practice, and they come with the idea of bringing their spouse so that I can fix the spouse so that Betsy can do the work. So here, let's do therapy so that you can change my husband or my wife. And then I break it to them that they have to do the work to create that fulfilling relationship, and they don't like it. Just how I didn't like that. My marketing guy was telling me, oh, by the way, you have to create content, and you have to do these videos, and you have to. And that's what we do. We want the best of the best, but we don't want to work for it. And guess what? The best of the best only comes with pain and struggles and hard work. And I know that firsthand. I am married to the sexiest man on earth, and we have the most amazing relationship I annoy the heck out of him. Yes. But we're amazing together, and we were going through a tough time in our family, so she. She came to support me, and by the end of her one week stay, she tells me, you know, Betsy, you guys have. You guys are a Facebook couple. I'm like, what is that? What is a Facebook couple? You know, in Facebook, everybody's happy. And, you know, you look at the pictures of family, and you're like, oh, my goodness. These are the happiest people ever. They have no issues. Well, you truly are a Facebook couple, and that was the most beautiful compliment I have ever received. But guess what? I worked hard for this. Every day I wake up and I think, what can I do to make my husband happy? He wakes up and he thinks.
