You Only Have One Problem: Why nothing you try seems to fix it | 59

If you have a problem and no matter what you try to solve it, you just cannot figure it out, this will reveal what's missing so that you may solve your problem once and for all. Hi, I'm Dr. Betsy Guerra, and I am a licensed psychotherapist with 26 years of experience. And if there's something that I know really well, better than anyone, is how to solve human problems. So listen in and learn what you've been missing all along. If you know me, you probably have heard who my business partner is. So if you're watching on Spotify or on YouTube, you can see in the camera that I have my business partner right here. The Holy Spirit is my business partner. He is the one who guides me in everything that I do. He's the one who gives me the ideas, the inspiration, the journey, like the steps on everything that I create and produce to elevate humanity, to ignite faith, and to unlock your greatness. And the reason I start with that is because I have daily meetings with my business partner, usually in the Blessed Sacrament, which is a chapel in the church. And in one of those meetings, I was trying to solve a problem in my business, and I had done everything. I had hired coaches and mentors, and I had done all the work to expand as a human, as a leader. So, 'cause I understand that in the measure that we expand, The container of the business, you know, we are the container of the business. In the measure that we work on ourselves, we're able to also work on the business. So I had done all the things, and I still had this problem. And I'm like, God, business partner, can you reveal to me what is it? What is it that I'm— that I need to do to get it right once and for all? And in that silence, my friend, He spoke. And what He revealed to me is what I'm going to teach today, which will change the way you look at your problems and therefore allow you to solve any situation that is robbing you of your peace. Anything. In other words, today I am going to solve your life You're welcome. Number 1, when we are born, we are one with God, we're one with Mom. So imagine that there's— that your life is a circle and that your Mom's life is a circle. So if there's 2 circles, one of you, your life, and another one of your Mom, then those 2 circles are fully overlapping when you're born. Same thing with God. You're one with God. So since you're like on top of each other, right? Like those two circles are fully overlapping. You can only see one circle. You're one with. And then as you grow older and you start eating different foods other than breast milk, right? Like at the beginning, you depend fully on mom. She has to feed you, change you, put you to sleep, bathe you, do all the things. And as you grow up and you start eating other foods and you start Crawling and walking and eating by yourself and realizing that there's, there's other things you can do on your own, that circle that is you, it starts separating a little bit from the circle of your mom. So there's a lot of overlap still, but now you can distinctively see that there's 2 circles instead of one. So we separate from our moms, we separate and in our dependence, we separate in our needs. We don't need them as much, we need them less and less. And that is pretty healthy, 'cause imagine if you're getting married and your mom has to bathe you. I don't know, that would probably turn your wife off big time, or your husband off. So it's healthy and appropriate that we become independent, interdependent with our moms, that our circles separate, like our lives separate from their lives, And that there's still like maybe like a little bit of overlap. So now you see the 2 circles with a little bit of overlap in the middle because there's that interdependence, there's that connection that we have with her. Now the thing is that we do the same thing with God. We, as we grow and we become wise and like we realize that we're intelligent and we learn things and we know so many things, we're like, oh! I can do this on my own. I don't need God. I got this. And then you separate from the source of life, of wisdom, of grace, of blessings, of all the things. And that's not okay. It's okay to separate from your mom. It's healthy. But when you separate from God, it's like separating from, from the source. Like, if you think you're a balloon, since we're talking about circles, right? Like, this analogy of circles as life. If you're a circular balloon and you're connected to the helium pump, then for as long as you're connected, you'll stay plumpy and round and big and, you know, like, healthy. But if the moment that you disconnect from the helium, you're gonna start shrinking and becoming smaller. So when you disconnect from the vine, from the source of life, of wisdom, of grace, of all the things, you become smaller. And though still smart enough, because we as humans, I mean, ultimately we were created in God's image and likeness, so we alone are pretty awesome. We're amazing as human beings. But limited. We're not infinite. We're still smaller than the divine. So when we separate, we're whole and we look good and we're smart and we know things, but we're not at our greatness. We're, we're not our best version. We're not connected to the source that reveals the wisdom, the grace, the talents, the gifts, the greatness. That, that we shine bright and that we shine to the world in our journey of fulfilling the purpose of serving others. So when you think about this analogy, when you think about how we separate from God, then I don't know if you are catching on to this, but there may be a little bit of a problem. Because if you're separated from the If God is the source of perfection and goodness, then there's room for problems. There's room for adversities. There's room for unpleasant emotions. There's room for fear, the opposite of love. There's room for the enemy. There's, there's room for mental health issues. There's there's a gap when you separate. Like think of think of like you being on top of a mountain, and then that there's an earthquake, and then that mountain like breaks up in half, and and then there's now the the the mountain is like cut down the middle, and you stayed in one part, and God stayed. Stayed in the other part of the mountain. Like, you, you were separated by that earthquake. Now there's a gap between the 2 parts of the mountain, between you and God, between you and the source of all good things. And because you're separated and there's a gap, then things can fall in through there. they can fall into that crack. So that's where mental health issues emerge, depression, anxiety, fear. That's where relationship issues, unforgiveness, resentment accumulate. That's where like the dirt like comes in, like the dirt of like the world. They say like worldly things, right? Those things that are not holy and that are not part of your essence and your greatness, they fall in that hole, in that gap, in that crack. So whenever you experience any pain, you have scarcity and financial issues, you have illness and a lot of pain, or an autoimmune disease, or a cancer, like some diagnosis, something, Relationship issues, legal problems, mental health— like whatever adversity you're experiencing that robs you of your peace, it's in that gap. So whenever you have a problem to solve, know that the reason that problem even exists is because there's a gap. So your problem is not The business issue, the legal problem, the financial issue, the relationship, the resentment, the unforgiveness, like the problem with your kid. That's not the problem. The true problem is the gap. That's a symptom. Those things that you can recognize and that we as human beings know that are true and real in our limited possibilities, right? Like that we can interpret and understand with our human minds. That's the symptom. That's the fever. The real problem, the virus that's causing the fever, is the gap. So number one, understand that there's not thousands of problems. There's the one problem, and that one problem is the gap. But what's the cause of that problem, which is even more important? Like, why did you get that virus in the first place? Why was your immune system low? Were you not resting much? Was— were you in a lot of— under a lot of stress? Were you eating unhealthy things? Were you not moving your body? Were you exposed to other people who were sick too? Like, what caused that virus to appear, which, which shows up in the form of symptoms, right? Like, So you know that you have this business problem, relationship problem, this issue with your kid who you cannot connect with or support or get along with or be the parent that you desire wholeheartedly to be because he or she is impossible or is going through so many difficult situations, maybe an addiction, maybe, I don't know, he's in that season of life or she's in the season of life and you're struggling with that kid. Like, if that's the symptom, that's the problem, the way you know it. But we know that that's not really the problem, that's the symptom. The problem is the gap, that space, that crack that is between you and your Source. You've separated from God because you thought you were so smart, just like me. It happens to me still to this day. I know this truth, and still I get caught up in the worldly— The lies. Quote unquote problems that are really just symptoms telling us that there's a deeper problem. And that deeper problem is the gap between God and myself, between God and you. And the cause of that problem is separation. It's you thinking that you know so much that you can be without Him. Okay, so now what do you do with this information? You know that the problem is the gap, the true problem is the gap, and that the cause is separation. Well, the good news is that if there's only one problem and one cause to the problem, then there's only one solution. And instead of you hiring all the coaches and the mentors for your business issue, or getting a loan, or asking for money, or looking for jobs, or working more hours to get more money because you're, you know, in a scarce situation, or instead of going to all the retreats and therapies— mind you, I'm super up for that. Go to the retreats anyway, and go to the therapist and the life coaches anyway. But instead of trying to solve what you think is the problem, really the symptom, instead of taking Tylenol to get rid of the headache or the fever, go to the root. to the root of the problem so that you don't just manage the symptom, but rather cure it, heal it once and for all. Heal your relationship with your child. Heal your relationship with your spouse. Heal your scarcity mindset issue. Heal this legal situation that you're in. Heal it once and for all instead of continuing to— to manage symptoms. Be better than that. Be greater than that. Go to the root of the problem. And the root of the problem is separation. And the root solution, the antidote to that problem, guess what that is? Reconnection. Oneness. Coming back home to your source. And I'm going to prove to you That what I'm saying is true. I'm going to prove to you that there's only one problem. If it's illness, the symptom, then what is the problem? The true problem? Separation from the source of health. If it is self-loathing, if it's like a lack of self-worthiness, what is the problem? Separation from the Source of self-love, of light. If it's a relationship problem, resentment, unforgiveness, the root is separation from love, the source of love. If you have an issue with anxiety, separation from the source of peace. If it's depression, separation from the source of joy. If it's whatever it is, just you name it, legal issues, separation from justice. What are you separated from? God. You're separated from God. And when you separate from God, you separate from your highest self because your highest self is one with God. When you're separated from your source, you're separated from all the goodness and the blessings. And I am not saying— and this is a very hard concept to understand with your human minds. So If you're struggling right now, I invite you to take a moment, take a deep breath, and invite the Holy Spirit in so that He can be the one to interpret and understand through you. This is something that I teach in the Faith-Based Coaching Academy after 2 months of teaching my students psychology and all these theories that are going to help them expand their minds, which is why I had never thought to even bring it to the podcast. But I think it's imperative that you know, at least that you hear it once, even if you don't fully grasp it today. The only problem that you have, my friend, is separation from God. And separation from God equals separation from your highest self. And in that gap, in that separation, in that crack between you and your source, is where all of your problems, depressions, anxieties, fears, issues— Illnesses live. So my invitation today is that you understand that you doing the research and going to all the doctors and talking to everybody about your problem and getting mentors and coaches and to solve the symptom is only going to get you so far. It may manage the symptom, right? Like it may disappear for a little while, but then it'll come right back if you don't address the underlying problem. So number one, understand that the more you grow in wisdom, the more blessed you are, the more you think of yourself, the more you separate from your source, the more you separate from the abundance of all the things that you desire in your heart. And in that separation, you create a gap that then Like allows for things to fall in through that crack. So understand that, number one. And number two, understand that if there's only one problem, there's only one solution. And the one solution is reconnection. So I'll share a little bit in another episode how you breach that gap, but I don't wanna leave you without anything today. It's too long of an episode to incorporate here. But for now, I wanna give you the one thing that you can do right now to begin that reconnection, to begin to align your will with God's will for you, so that you may be happy and joyful and peaceful and all the things that we are when we are one with God, even in the face of adversity. 'Cause here's the thing, I am not suggesting that people who are connected to God will never go through adversity. I know that all too well. I've always been a woman of faith, and I've loved God, and I've done His work, I think my entire life, maybe more intently now, and being intentional about being guided by Him as opposed to me being the one driving, which was, I think, the case before. I lost my daughter. But if you could, if you could understand that you can go through adversity and have no problems, if you, if you could understand that you can lose your daughter as I did and still feel peace in the midst of your grief and your pain and experience Hope. If you could, if you could understand that you could be broke and still feel like the most abundant person in the universe, then you would grasp what I'm explaining. I'm not talking about physical problems. I am talking about true problems. The true problem is when you believe the problem. If I believe. that my daughter died and I'm doomed forever and I'll never be happy again, then that's a true problem. But if she died and I miss her and I'm grieving and I'm going through my healing journey, that is pain, but I am filled with hope and light and trust that God's plans for me are better than my own, that God's plans for her are better than my own, that He was sparing her for something horrible, maybe. If I can live in hope, and I can heal with peace while I'm going through the pain and adversity, I won. There's no problem here. It's just growth. It's just oneness. And when you're one with, and you're being held by God Himself, life is great. I'm a testament of that. I can tell you, I was miserable when I lost my daughter. The pain was excruciating, debilitating. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry all day and sleep all day. And yet I got up and I took care of my son. He was almost 1 year old. I was still breastfeeding. And I did all these things for my children and my husband, and I nurtured and protected our relationship. And I'm like, how the heck did I do that? I didn't. God did it for me. God— I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I don't need— I don't need the strength. I don't need the wisdom. I don't need the answers. I don't need the guidance. I just need Him. So when you are With Him, when you're one with, you, you can go through adversity and not suffer. You can feel pain because pain is the path to healing. You can grieve. You can feel some feels. But you don't suffer. Suffering is when you, when you're hopeless, when you think this is it. And I went From suffering, from darkness, from excruciating pain to hope and healing and joy. I'm the happiest woman on earth. Sometimes I can't go to sleep because I'm so happy. I just can't contain myself. And I have so much gratitude in my heart that I'm like, oh my gosh, God, I'm so lucky. I'm the luckiest woman on earth. I must be Your favorite. I forget. I forget that I went through a lot of pain. So my friend, number one, recognize that that problem you think you've been trying to solve and has been robbing you of your peace, that, that's not a problem. That's just a symptom that lets you know that there's a gap between you and God, and that that gap is caused by separation. And separation could be anything from judgment, control freakness, wanting to control everything, resentment, unforgiveness, selfishness, self-centeredness, the sin of omission, God putting something in your heart and you not doing anything about it. That separation can come from lack of trust, from a lack of self-worthiness, from self-loathing, you not loving that essence that God created in His image and likeness. Separation can come from you not being your best self, whatever that looks like. So when I realized this, and I was in my meeting at the Blessed Sacrament with my business partner, I asked like, oh my gosh, okay, there's only one problem, and it's separation. Show me, Lord, what is separating me from you? And what He revealed at that point was control and judgment. Hello, my name is Betsy Guerra, and I am a recovering control freak. Control— me wanting to know right now, and figure it out right now, and rely on my own understanding. And, you know, again, and do things and control others and protect others and, and change things. External things. I can only change me. So it was an illusion anyway. I can't control anything that's not me. And sometimes it's hard to control myself. Imagine that. When I surrendered control, when I allowed God to be the one driving instead of me deciding, when I trusted Him enough to give Him the wheel of my life, That's when all the problems seemed to be gone or resolved, or like everything fell into place easy. And then there was judgment. And here's the thing, when you do personal development work or spiritual work, you become better, you elevate, you, you transform. And when you see how far you've come along, Sometimes it gets to your head, you know, and your ego like takes over and you think you're better than others. I'm super embarrassed to share this, but I think because I had gone through that transformation, I felt entitled sometimes to look at other people and be like, oh my gosh, yeah, they're, you know, they don't know any better. Or like, I would judge them. I would think like, oh, you know, they think it's— They're stupid. you know, the other person doing this to them, but really it's them and they don't realize how they're manifesting it. And I had all these theories, and I'm not better than anyone, and judgment is not for me. I'm not here to judge. It's not my job. So the moment that I realized that my— the thing that was separating me was judgment and control was the moment I stopped focusing on the problem of my business And I started focusing on surrender of control and looking for the good in others and understanding that everybody has a different journey. And that my journey was psycho-spiritual, combining personal development and spirituality. But other people's journey is different. And they ultimately arrive at the same destination because God meets you where you're at. And He speaks your language. I am woo-woo all the way. I love this. I love science, I'm not gonna lie. I love to understand why it is that people think, feel, act the way they do. So I like understanding, but I also have the superpower of faith. So this was my language, and He spoke my language to bring me to where I'm at and to continue taking me to higher grounds and to greatness. And it's interesting because nowadays, I dare not judge most of the time. I still fall into it at times, but I dare not judge because I'm like, oh my goodness, I was so small when I thought I was so big. I was so limited when I thought I knew so much. And now I realize, like, this is an everlasting work in progress. This is a lifelong journey that I'm in. So me judging other people holds me back in that journey of growth because it separates me from the source of knowledge of it all. Number one, my friend, if there's a symptom, if there's a problem, there's a gap. And that gap is caused by separation. And number two, The only solution to the only problem is reconnection. It's coming back home to your source, to God, to yourself. It's oneness. And the first step to oneness is to find out what it is that is separating you so that you may address that, focus on that. And the second step Is stillness. Spend time in silence, solitude, and stillness, in quiet, in meditation, in prayer, but the silent one. Like, just, just spend time emptying your mind, emptying the, the noise and the limits that are of the mind, of the human mind. So that you may download and make space for infinite divine wisdom, which lies within you, my friend, because He breathed the Holy Spirit into you. So if you are ready to solve your problem, stop focusing on the symptom, the thing that you thought was a problem all along. Stop focusing on that. And take a moment right now Before you get out of the Spotify or the YouTube or wherever, or Apple Podcasts, wherever you're listening to this, take a moment right now, pause this, and reflect on what is separating you from God. And if you can't figure it out, ask God in silence, and He will reveal it to you. This is part 1 of a very long masterclass that I have for you in this podcast. And I would love for you to sit with it during this week and really reflect on what is the gap. Like, what's in the gap? What are those things that are hurting you? What are your problems, quote unquote? And then what is separating you? And then the 2 solutions. Once you find out what separates you, which is step 1, then go to stillness. And ask God to give you the grace to solve that problem. And that's how you solve any problem, any problem. It doesn't matter what it is. Go to the root, solve that separation. And next week, I'll tell you a little bit more about what that journey and that process looks like, which is something that I teach inside the Faith-Based Coaching Academy. But I want to make it available. To you right here, right now. If you want more, and if you want to go deeper, and if you want to do some real work to become equipped and connected and fulfilled and joyful and happy and peaceful and live in your purpose, then go to talktobetsy.com and book a call so that we may work together this semester. It begins this Thursday, August 20th. So if this work has been stirring inside and you've been curious about it and you just haven't pulled the trigger, this is your sign, my friend. TalkToBetsy.com. Let's book a call and let's work together so that you may find the peace that surpasses understanding, feel fulfilled, live in purpose, find deep joy, and just be the better version of yourself that God created you to be. Amen. For others, for your loved ones, and all of those that are assigned to you. I love you. Have a beautiful day. See you on our call and next week in the podcast. Have a beautiful day. That's it for today's episode. I loved, loved, loved spending this time with you. So thank you for joining me. If somebody came to mind while you were listening, Bless them with this episode. Send it to them. And if you may, please subscribe and leave a review. Those are really helpful to help us spread the message. And if you want to grow in faith and wisdom, join me at faithandgrowth.com. Thank you for spending this time with me. Love you. Bye.