Your mind is lying to you... here's what to do about it | 42

Our thoughts are powerful, but we don't have to believe all of our thoughts. So today I wanna give you a little psychology class where I teach you in a very simple way what thoughts are, what beliefs are, and what reality comes to be ultimately. [FOREIGN LANGUAGE] A few years ago, my husband was traveling and I was alone with the kids, and I was gonna sleep with them alone at home. And I've never been a scaredy-cat. I've never been the anxious kind. But for some reason this day, I was, I don't know, I guess my husband hadn't left in a long time, and I was feeling a little vulnerable. And I was like, okay, I'm the only one responsible for these kids. Let me make sure that all the doors are locked and everything is good to go before we go to sleep. And I went to sleep with that concern, right? I was, I was, extra cautious that day. I made sure the cars were locked. And in the middle of the night, I wake up to a very loud noise. And I know I wasn't dreaming. I know that the noise actually took place because I had recently gone to the bathroom, and I wasn't fully asleep. So I know the noise happened. And I was like, oh my gosh, there's somebody outside. What's happening? What's going on? There's a thief, and they're going to get us. And how am I going to get out of here with all my kids? And I kept I was then thinking like, how do I get all three together? And what window do we go out through? And I was freaking out and I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And it was as if I was really in a crisis and I was really in danger. And I was like, who do I call? What do I do? So I called my father-in-law and I'm like, can you please come? It was in the middle of the night. Can you please? He lives across the street. So I said, can you please come? Check to see if there's anything in the surroundings. In my mind, we had a thief who was armed in my house, and I needed to grab all my kids and go out a window and save them and rescue them. And I had this whole horror movie in my head, and I had symptoms as if as if I was actually running and escaping the thief, who was armed, and we were climbing out the window. My heart was pounding, the adrenaline was up. My bodily symptoms were as if this was real. If you have never experienced something similar, where you create a whole scenario in your mind and you react emotionally and physically to it, I swear it's the truth. Like, how many of you— like, then you're not human. How many of you have been calling your kids who are now driving, and, you know, you don't know where they're at, and the Life360 says that they were in a place where they're not supposed to be, and you're calling and they're not answering, and you're freaking out? You know, maybe the Life360 says that they were in the middle of the expressway, and immediately you're like, oh my goodness, like, they got in an accident, and, you know, something happens, and that's why they're not moving from there. And oh my gosh, what's gonna happen? And when you try calling and you call the friend and you call everyone, nobody's answering. And then you make all this tragedy movie in your head to make it up. And then it just turns out that in the middle of the highway, the phone had died, and that's why it was still showing it was there. And, you know, your kid is fine, and it's just that they were playing something or doing something that who, you know, got them away from the phone. Hallelujah, like that's awesome, right? They were socializing, they were doing what they were supposed to do, and they were not connected to their phones, so they missed your calls. Like, how many times do we create realities in our heads that make us feel a very uncomfortable way, and ultimately they're not true? Quick interruption to invite you to my next webinar on April 29th, titled "How Good Can Life Get? A Psycho-Spiritual Formula for More Joy, More Peace, and Purpose in Every Area of Your Life." So life may be awesome. You're blessed. I know, I know you have a good life and you get to thank God for that. But there's a call to more. Something is missing and something is separating you from the best version of yourself, from the life you're called to live, and ultimately from God. So here you're going to discover what that is, and you're going to learn my psycho-spiritual integration model, which will change your life forever, I promise. So go to faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/fw and register for free for the next webinar, April 29th. I can't wait to see you. Back to the episode. But then there's those times in which you self-fulfill the reality, right? Like, self-fulfilling prophecy is a concept in psychology, one of my favorite, that suggests that we tend to prophesize and think like, okay, this is gonna happen. And sometimes we do it intentionally. Like, for example, I had a client who said, my husband's gonna cheat on me. He's totally gonna cheat on me. All of my ex-boyfriends have cheated on me. I've seen him a little weird these days. I, I'm, he's acting, you know, differently. I believe he's cheating on me, right? Like sometimes you outwardly believe that, think that, and other times you're just scared of it. Like, what if he cheated on me? Like, what if I can't find somebody who's loyal and faithful? What if, right? Like sometimes it's the fear, other times it's, you like prophesize it. You say like, this is gonna happen. And then you act accordingly. So you're crazy, psycho, you know, always looking at the phone, always asking questions, always making the other person feel like they're lying. You're always feeling insecure, right? Like, so you act accordingly. The equivalent of your heart palpitations, being high, and sweaty palms when you're scared, here you are acting according to what your mind believes to be true or believes is a likely possibility. And I have this client in particular who was constantly like thinking like, he's gonna cheat on me, I know it, because she had been betrayed many times before. Her dad had left the mom for another woman and she just thought it was inevitable, it was gonna happen. So she was constantly insecure questioning him, looking at the phone, sometimes even going beyond boundaries to— and disrespecting him, like disrespecting his privacy to see, to confirm. And this guy had zero intention of ever cheating on his wife. He adored her. He, like, that wasn't part of his value system. It just wasn't a possibility. Until it was. And I wonder, was this gonna happen regardless, or was it a self-fulfilling prophecy where you say something's gonna happen and it does, not because it was meant to happen, but because you self-fulfilled it? You acted and contributed to it. You acted in ways that led the person to do the thing that you thought he was gonna do anyway. In this example. So I always wonder like, was it really gonna happen always? Or was she, did she become unattractive with her insecurity? Did she plant the seed that that was okay to do and that was a possibility when it wasn't part of his book? Like, I'm not saying that it's her fault or she's responsible for it. Ultimately, we're all responsible for our actions and her husband was responsible for that. So I'm not trying to excuse the guy, but did she contribute to creating that reality by the way she thought and acted and felt? And ultimately, you know, it ultimately led to her truth? I don't know. I don't know, maybe. And that's what I wanna talk about today. Our thoughts are powerful. But we don't have to believe all of our thoughts. So today I wanna give you a little psychology class where I teach you in a very simple way what thoughts are, what beliefs are, and what reality comes to be ultimately. And I'm gonna teach it to you the way I teach it in my speaking engagements to my kids and teenagers. We have a lot of fun doing this, It's very simplified, but I think it can convey how much power we have over our lives, over our reality. You ready? Let's do this. Okay, so I am going to start by telling you that thoughts are sentences. That's it. A thought is a sentence that pops up in your mind, and a sentence doesn't have any value in and of itself. Like, a sentence has the value that you attribute to it. So the interpretation that you make of that sentence is the meaning that that sentence has. But if it's a whatever sentence, then you don't need to believe it. You don't need to engage with it. You know, sometimes we have those like random thoughts and we're like, oh, whatever. Like, we don't even remember that we had them because they were not important. But thoughts are sentences, and we somehow believe that if we think something, it must be true. No, thoughts are sentences that pop up in your mind. They don't have to be true, and you don't have to believe them, and you don't have to engage with them. But here's what happens when a thought a sentence that pops up in your mind resonates with what you believe in your subconscious mind, then there's something in psychology called the confirmation bias. You're going to confirm that that thought is true, but you're going to do it from a very biased place because you're— it's true because it resonates with what you believe already. Now, how did you even form those beliefs in the first place? Let me give you an example of how this works. You grow up hearing, "You're not good enough. You don't have what it takes. You're not that smart. You're not gonna be able to get into that college. It's too hard to do that. It's okay, I got you. Let me help you." Sometimes we as parents trying to be overprotective or overbearing or like helping a little too much, I know I've failed with that many times, we convey the message to our kid that, our kid doesn't have what it takes to do it on his or her own. And what we're trying to do is help, right? But if we're constantly saying like, "No, I got this. No, that's too hard. No, that's too much for you. No, you're not good in math, remember? You're not that athletic." Or, "No, you're sick. You're gonna get sick if you do that," right? Like, I don't know, whatever it is that you've heard your entire life. If you've constantly heard those sentences from the outside world, then you start believing them in your inside world, in your mind. So then you start deciding, I'm not good enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm not as smart as my sister, I am not strong enough for this, I get sick too much so I can't do this, I have asthma so no, I can't do that sport, I'm not a morning person, I'm not a night person, I'm not artistic, I'm not good at this, I'm not bad. You start believing those things because they've been repeated. So then those sentences that were expressed by people around you or by society are now being repeated internally by your mind. So now every time you get something wrong in a test, you're like, it's 'cause I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes. I'm not as smart as my sister. I'm not, right? Like, so now you've made those your sentences, that those, those sentences, the more they're repeated, the more they're automated. And when they're automated, they become beliefs. So notice how just words in a sentence have acquired power to become beliefs. So I always give the example to my kids of like, hey, if you hear the sentence or if you have the thought, the pink elephant ate the purple truck, do you believe that sentence? And since my kids are usually older, they're like, no, please, pink elephant, purple truck, eaten by the pink elephant? Like, of course not. Well, if we treated every single thought as we treat that sentence like, "Oh, that's nonsense," at least every single thought that doesn't serve us, every thought that like brings us down, that prevents us from rising into the person that God created us to be, every single time we are exposed to one of those, "I'm not good enough, I don't have what it takes, nobody loves me, I'll never fill in the blank," every time you have one of those thoughts, Treated as a pink elephant ate the purple truck. It makes no sense. God created me to His image and likeness. Like, how could I'm not good enough be true? Like, how could no people love me be true? That's just not possible. How could I can't do that or I will never be true if I have limitless possibilities available to me because with God all things are possible and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. When you treat sentences as what they are and you choose if you're going to engage with it or not consciously rather than unconsciously, because we're constantly accepting those sentences that are not good for us because unconsciously or subconsciously, we don't think we're good enough. So then that resonates, confirmation bias, like that makes sense with what I have inside of me. But we are in a journey of reprogramming our minds, and we're no longer going to accept everything that we believe in our subconscious mind as true, and we're going to renew our beliefs. So going back to how beliefs are formed, we have sentences. When we engage with those sentences, we like, we entertain them, we listen to them, we pay attention to them, whether they're coming from the outside or from our minds. We start repeating them. So if we engaged, we start like repeating it like, oh, that makes sense, that resonates, that's relatable. Okay, yeah, that must be true. And then it becomes a belief with repetition. Everything that you do repeatedly becomes a habit. So a sentence that is repeated constantly becomes a habit, which we call belief. So now it's not something that, another person said, it's not something that popped up into your mind, it's something that you believe. I believe he's gonna cheat on me. I believe I'm not going to be able to succeed in that. I believe I'm not good enough. I believe I'm never gonna find love. I believe my marriage is never gonna change. I believe my kids can be in danger and something's gonna happen to them. Then you believe it. And what happens when you believe is that you start creating like producing emotions. Thoughts are the language of the mind, says Dr. Joe Dispenza, and emotions are the language of the body. And what happens is that whatever happens in your mind, when you have a thought that you engage with and that you, you know, that it eventually becomes a belief, that, that's, that, that, that's happening in your brain when you're thinking it, repeating it, believing it, that's creating matter, like physical matter. If you go to a brain scan, you'll see that there's something is forming in there. So we have the power to create something that didn't exist before. So now you're creating that in your, those messengers in your brain. And then that is communicating with the body 'cause we have a mind-body relationship. So now the mind's job is to tell the body like, hey, Hey, danger, or hey, insecurity. Hey, something's wrong. Hey. And then the body is going to respond and obey the brain by creating the emotions that are aligned with that. And that's why now you're like, it's true, nobody loves me. It's true, he's gonna cheat on me. It's true, something's gonna happen to my kid. It's true that there's a thief in my house and they're gonna kidnap us and, or something. And we have to like, run and jump outside the window. Like, you start feeling as though that's really happening, but it's only perceived danger. Because here's the thing, the subconscious mind does not know how to differentiate truth from fantasy. So even if something is not real, the fact that it's real in your subconscious is enough for you to feel all the feels. Like, how many times have we been like hypochondriac because we feel some, we think We heard about someone who had cancer, and this is how they found out. And then they had a headache. And then we have a headache, and we're like, we have cancer too. And then you start feeling weird stuff, and it's confirming that you must— there must be something wrong with you. And then we create all these symptoms. We have the power to create matter. And then because the brain is so smart, and wants to always protect us and keep us safe, except it doesn't know how to differentiate fantasy from reality. So maybe in that department, she's not that smart. Then it, it thinks everything is true. And then it creates all these things that further emphasize or instill the belief that that is really happening. So you tell yourself a story that creates an emotion in your body. And your body creates more symptoms in alignment with that emotion so that you can confirm and reaffirm and work together with the brain and sends that message back up to the brain. And then the brain is like, I knew it, it's real. That's why you're feeling all these things in your body. It's because it's real. And then if you're a spiritual person, then you add God into the picture and you're like, it must be God giving me a sign that something must be really wrong with my child, or that someone really is in my house trying to do something bad to us. And then now it's like your brain, your body, your emotions, your spirituality, everything is confirming that indeed something terrible is gonna happen. And it all started with a sentence, subject and predicate, sentence. My friend, Thoughts are sentences, and you can choose if you're going to engage with them, if you're going to create, form a belief by automating and repeating that thought, and if you're going to manifest that into your reality, your physical reality. And if you wanna learn more about manifesting, which may give you like more insights into what we're talking about, you can go to episode number 29, which I believe was aired on January 20th, 2026. So thoughts are sentences. The more you repeat them, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm never gonna measure up, I'm never gonna succeed, I don't have what it takes. The more you repeat it, the more it becomes automated and forms into a belief. And then that belief is also repeated, repeated, confirmed through confirmation bias because we look for evidence as to why that is true. And when you look for evidence, you're gonna find it, even if it's not real, until it becomes reality. And that's how we are the producers and directors of our movie. We are the authors of our book, the life that we are living. And it all starts with a sentence. So my invitation to you is that you are mindful about creating the sentences that you want to form your story, to build your movie, to create your life? What are the sentences you're telling yourself? Take a moment to reflect. And now imagine that with just one sentence, you can change the rest of your life. You can work backwards, or you can outsmart your brain and Knowing what it does unconsciously, you can do it mindfully. And that's why people talk so much about affirmations, those I am statements. I am worthy. I am capable. I got this. It's just a matter of time before I succeed. I was created for greatness. I am loved. My husband would be crazy to cheat on me. How? Like, there's no way. If you could just repeat the sentences that will create beliefs that serve you, that feel good in your body, that create emotions that are pleasant and uplifting, if you could do that, then you could also create a different reality. So if we go back to me, and I think, by the way, the sound that I did hear was the sound of the ice maker. I had used up all the ice, so then I guess the ice was, like, traveling a little further and, like, hitting itself hard at the bottom of the bucket. And that was the sound. It was a very loud sound. So if I could have thought, like, "Oh, something must have fallen," or, "Oh, maybe it was the ice maker," then that's it. That's it. That That thought of like, danger popped up, and I'm like, ah, it's nothing. You know, I don't engage with it. And not only do I not engage with it, I choose a different thought that serves me better. And then I go back to sleep at peace. If my client would've thought like, you know, I am probably experiencing some of those triggers from the trauma I had of betrayal in my family of origin, and then with my exes, and I'm probably reacting to that. Let me, let me, let me, let me engage with different thoughts. Let me think my husband loves me. And let me then act in ways that makes me irresistible. And let me engage with thoughts that create emotions that feel so good that I show up as irresistible. I'm so pleasant to be around. My husband like really appreciates me. Like he's, The love that he had already demonstrated to me, like it's growing. And it's growing not just because of him, but also because I'm irresistible. Let me tell you, confidence is sexy and insecurities are not. So if I tell myself confidence is sexy and I start building that and I start seeing myself as like, oh my gosh, my husband would be crazy to cheat on me. He'd be crazy not to love me. What is there not to like about this beauty? Like, if you start telling yourself those sentences and that person cheats on you, that's on them 100%. And that's guidance and information. But you know that you did not contribute to that. You didn't participate in that. But how do we know if we didn't participate if we're not aligning ourselves with the truth that we desire to believe and live? So let's start with affirmations that are those sentences that we're choosing mindfully to engage with. And for that, we need to know 3 things about affirmations. I call them the 3 Ps. An affirmation must be in the present moment. So we're not gonna say, "I will be successful. I will be happy. I will be skinnier. I will love my body. I will be wealthy." We're gonna say, "I am." I am wealthy. I am loved. I am capable. I got this. I am, I am in the present moment. Because what happens is that the past and the future, they're illusions. There's only now. Now was now in the past when it was happening. Now is now, right here in this present moment. And now will be now when in the future, right? But if you don't believe me, if you think that the past and the future really exist, like, and you can access it, then can you please turn off the light yesterday? Go, go, go, go right, go turn off the light yesterday. You can't. You cannot turn off the light yesterday. You can only turn off the light now in this present moment. Okay, so now turn it off tomorrow. Go, go, go ahead, turn off the light tomorrow. You can't turn off the light tomorrow. You can only do it now. You can do it yet. You could have done it yesterday when it was now, and you will be able to do it tomorrow when it is now. Now is all there is, and the subconscious mind knows that all too well. So when you say, I will be, it's like, what is that? It doesn't even make sense. So always in the present moment. That's the first P. The second P is that the affirmations should be done in a positive way. So instead of saying, I'm not going to be scared, I'm not going to be nervous, I'm not going to be anxious, I'm not going to be insecure, I'm not going to be whatever, fill in the blank, you say, I am confident. I am courageous. I am at peace. I am beautiful. I love my body. I am loved. Like, you say it in a positive way instead of putting not or didn't or don't, because the subconscious mind does not understand the negatives. They say that that's why when you tell kids, do not play with fire, they play with fire because The brain hears, play fire. Do not be afraid, be afraid. Do not do that, do that, right? So the subconscious mind does not understand the negatives. Avoid saying don't, not, didn't. Change the negative thing that you're trying to get rid of into the positive version of that. And the third thing that you get to pay attention to in regards to our affirmations is power. You want those affirmations to have an emotional power. So instead of being like looking at yourself in the mirror and being like, I'm beautiful, I'm so happy because Betsy said I had to say this, you got to say it with power, with emotion. I'm beautiful. Besito para ti, Betsy. You're so gorgeous. I got this. I am worthy. I am wealthy. I am capable. I'm successful. I am. But you say it with emotion, with belief, with truth. Because again, if you say, you know, think about when you tell somebody that you love them and then the hug is like weird and awkward and you can barely touch them. Like, I love you so much while hugging them and tapping them on the back, feeling super weird and awkward. Do you think they're gonna believe your words? Or your actions. When someone tells you like, hey, what's going on? What's wrong? And they say like, nothing, but they seem miserable. Do you believe the nothing or do you believe their emotions? They're going to believe the thing that is emotional, the nonverbal. So my invitation is that today you write down the beliefs, the thoughts, the sentences that are not serving you. Write a list. What are those things that are getting in the way of you becoming the person God created you to be and you rising into your purpose, your greatness, your joy, your fulfillment, your peace? Write down those things, those thoughts, those sentences that are not serving you. And then write the affirmations that are powerful in the present moment and positive. And repeat them every single day until those sentences intentionally and mindfully become your reality. I cannot wait to hear what happens with this exercise. I trust it will help you reframe and reprogram your mind and ultimately lead you to the peace and the joy that Sir passenger Sandy— I will see you next week. Love you. Bye.