Communication Success Model

Foreign communication. I was asked to be a little bit more detailed. So I'm going to give you a little bit more detail. If you recall last video I said that in 2020, the way we communicate has changed. If you're going to be effective communicator, you don't have to change, but you're going to get left behind, okay? And you're not going to get through to people. People won't get you. Okay? So we said there's areas of your life as a leader and in your business. Now let me just go down, get to the basics so that I refer to that because it blows my mind that now more than ever that the basics of communication have shifted. What you need to emphasize. So let me just explain a couple things. First of all is first part of communication is awareness. Awareness of what? Awareness of your fricking surroundings, that's what. Rather than trying to talk to somebody, sell something, market something, criticize something or have a conversation. Be aware of the environment. Be aware of the context around you. I know one of the things, the difference between mature adults and teenagers. Teenagers make decisions than they do things because they're just oblivious to what's going on around them. As a mature adult, be aware of the situation that's going around. So what specifically be aware of. Okay. Be aware of little voices. What little voices are going on in people's minds in business, I'm afraid of losing my job. I'm afraid I have fear about the future. I have insecurities. These are things going on in people's minds. Now you could try to take advantage of them, which is not even on the plate from what I'm talking about, but as a great communicator to understand the basics of what's going on in people's minds and addressing it in your languaging. Okay, addressing it in your languaging. The other part of it is to have. Is to understand, like I said, that people are. We mentioned on the other video, dignity and respect. Dignity and respect. What's that mean? I would highly recommend in this kind of environment, 2020 going forward. I wouldn't eliminate name calling. Don't call people idiots. My teenager hates when we call them an idiot. Okay? And now every. And I understand it, even if it's a joke, people don't like it right now. Sensitivities are high. Why are sensitivities high? Well, why is it different? You know why? Because pervasive throughout this entire equation, as I said before, is a thing called fear. Fear. Fear sits in the middle of all of it. Fear sits in the middle of all of it. So people don't think rationally unless they come out of the fear, unless you're the person, as I said before, that can give them some hope, give them some dignity, give them some respect so that they can lift out of the desperation of going broke or going hungry or starving or dying or getting sick. Okay? Dignity, another word. Empathy. Empathy. Can you take the time to understand where somebody else is coming from? You don't have to sympathize. That's not sympathy. It's empathy. Understand it and address it and shift your communication accordingly. And are you even present awareness? Are you physically, physically there, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually, are you even there with the person? Can you lock in and load? And there's exercises to learn how to do that. Now, the other thing is critical that 2020 going forward is the flow of communication. Now, this is simple basis. I'm not talking about sales and marketing, but it's all appropriate. In that case, let me just draw you a little picture here. If you can see this right here. So if I'm talking about you, okay, there's a couple areas here. First of all is to be able to listen. Communication. Part of the flow of communication is receiving information and receiving what was actually delivered. Now, let me explain. Let's work it in reverse. So in other words, say you're communicating to somebody else over here. So you deliver to them. Okay, you deliver to them. Okay, now what happens? You deliver it, and you want to make sure that it delivers. And then it lands here. So you deliver, you speak, then it lands. How do you know that it lands? Because you need to get some verification or what we call duplicate. Does that person duplicate? Simple. You order food. You order with somebody over the telephone. You're ordering your food. You send a message. Okay, so how do you know they got it? Because they read it back to you. They tell you what you said, so you get verification. So that's good. So it landed, you duplicated, you duplicated the message. Does that make sense? Okay, good. All right. So the idea here is to send it, get verification, it landed, and get it duplicated. And then what they do is they send back the duplication, okay, all these steps. Send, land, verify, duplicate back, verify on your side. You got it. Okay, so all those steps again, send, land, verify that it landed. And how you know that? They duplicate it back to you, and it lands over here, and you verify, okay? Any one of those steps missing can cost you money, can cost you aggravation, and Cause you strife. These are basics in communication. So the other side of it, too, is when somebody delivers information to you, do you get it? Say, yeah, I got it. Well, no, you didn't get it. Repeat, you know, verify that you got it and duplicate it back to them so they know. And they said, no, that's not exactly what I'm talking about. How many times does that Happen? Well, in 2020, because we're dealing digitally and because we are dealing one to many, it's critical. And because we're dealing with fear and emotions, it's important that that communication gets across clearly. Okay, all right. The final piece here is not just the flow, but it's the actual words, tonality, and we'll call it body language. Okay. Body language. Okay. They say words are only 7%, but you know what? When you're in a digital format, words are a little bit more than 7%. So certain words that you use. Now, I know there's a lot of popularity, but don't use trigger words. Look, I don't know about all that stuff. Here's what I do know. I do know that in fact, for example, people calling people names and insulting them is usually not going to do a lot. Let me just leave you with this thought about the words, the tone you deliver, the words in, the body language you use. If you're on camera. There are certain words that unify people. There are certain words like love together. We hope these are words that bring people together. There's other words that divide, like me. My. I see. This is the way it needs to be done. Do it this way. These, you know, I agree with these. I don't agree with that. You know, all that kind of stuff. I mean, I'm not saying you don't take a stand, but choose your words appropriate, being aware of the environment, and choose the right words in the right situation. You know, I'm going to take a look at, you know, right now we're going through presidential elections. Which person is better in sales? Well, it's hard to say. I think both of them honestly suck. It's my point of view. That's a little bit of name calling, not name calling. I think they could improve a lot. Sometimes they're divisive, both sides. Sometimes they're devices, sometimes they unify. The question is this. You have to choose from your perspective how you want to communicate. What kind of a leader do you want to be? Are you trying to unify people or are you trying to divide them? Okay. You know, we have the Republicans and we have the Democrats, we have the capitalists, we have the socialists, we have male and female, black and white, Asian and South African. We have all kinds of people here. Okay? So the question is, in these days, with heightened fear, heightened sensitivities, those are actually good things. If you think about people more aware of their feelings, more in touch with them, more willing to communicate. We've always talked back in the 90s and the early 2000s. These are good things trying to get people to do. Now they're doing it now. We don't like it because it's uncomfortable. Well, in order to get good at it is to be aware of it, be sensitive to it. Use right words. Use words that you really mean to say. Think before you talk. I mean, all the things that your mother told you, all the things that my mother told me. Think before you open your big mouth is what my mom would tell me sometimes. But the advice is still good because 2020 has just turned up the heat. You know, people are doing a lot of work online, right? So people think, well, I could just put up a camera, and now I can broadcast to many. Well, you know what? If you were a bad communicator before, and you go on this camera, you're going to make that as bad as you were, even worse, because now it's on steroids for all the world to see. And you can divide, if you're talking to somebody divisively, you can divide the two of you, but the minute you go to one, to a few hundred people, you're dividing a lot, a bigger group of people. And that creates a whole other firestorm out there. Okay? The world needs to come together, and we will. COVID 19. One of the good things out of COVID 19 is when we were all locked down, we were very connected. We were very connected through zoom. People crave that connection. But now that it's kind of breaking out and other things, and we've been in it for six, nine, eight months, whatever. I don't even know how many months it's been anymore. It's important to be a better communicator. It's important that you understand the lessons of 2020 that I'm just talking about right here. Because if you do, like I said, you'll build rapport. And with rapport, people agree. And when people agree, their emotion comes down, their fear goes down, their courage comes up. Remember I said in the last video, I said, replace fear with courage. Well, how do you do that? Tell them to have courage. No, demonstrate it. Courage comes from the French word love which means heart speak with heart heart to heart, breath to breath person to person, group to group that's just my philosophy you may disagree with it and that's your level of communication and if it works for you then you use that But I'm just saying as a global leader with hundreds of trainers all around the world doing business over 40 countries around the world for the last 30 years what I'm going to say my experience is awareness the words tonality and body language understanding the flow and maximizing it but mostly being aware that fear runs amok in this whole thing their little voice is going crazy therefore allow people to have the dignity give them some empathy don't be calling people names be the person that brings people together be the person that gives hope not false hope but co create futures together if you do that you can be a great communicator so these are just some of the communication basics of 2020 be awesome.