Competence in Business Success | Stop Resisting THIS… | Blair Singer

Here's a great question. This is an awesome question. How do you know? How do you know if you're resistant to coaching? Nobody's ever asked me this question before. How do you know if you're resistant to coaching? Okay, well, first of all, if you're not being coached, you're resistant to coaching. So that's how you know. Okay, the question is why you would not be coached. Every successful athlete, actor, actress, professional, anywhere in the world that operates at a high level gets coached. And usually they have more than one coach. They have a technical coach, they have a mindset coach, they have a health coach, they have wealth coaches. Everybody's got coaches. Now why do you have coaches? Well, because you can only know so much and with so many things going on in your life, you need somebody to keep you accountable, which is what a good coach does. Good coach doesn't necessarily give you information, but helps you seek the information and holds you accountable to certain milestones so you can get what you want. That's coaching. Now how do you know if you're resistant? Like I said, if you're not getting coached, you're resistant. So now you have to ask yourself why? What's going on between your ears? Well, I haven't done enough yet and I don't really, I don't really deserve a coach yet because I don't really know what I'm doing one day when I know better and I have more experience. That's crap. Why would you do that? That's you just justifying why, why are you doing that? Because the real reason, I'm just going to be honest with you, the real reason that's going through your brain is you just don't want to be accountable because you know yourself pretty well. A coach is going to ask you to be accountable. For example, let's say you have sales goals, okay? And your goal is to make 30 presentations a week. And so week one, you make week two comes around with your coach, they go, so how did you do on your 30 calls? And you know you didn't make the 30 calls. And you probably, when you said you were going to make 30 calls, you were a little bit dubious whether you're going to make the 30 calls and so you don't show up for the call or you don't do it because you're ashamed, you're embarrassed, you don't want to be held accountable. And I got all these reasons. My mother in law was in town, I didn't feel well, I was too sick, all that other crap that goes on. You. You're resistant to coaching. And when you're not really resistant to coaching, you're resistant to being successful. That's what's going on. Because it's easier for you to have an excuse why you don't get what you want. And I don't have a coach, and I don't have enough money for a coach. All that crap that goes on in your mind is because you really don't want to be successful. Because, look, there's an advantage to not being successful. You know what it is? It's easy. That's right. It's easy. You don't have to work hard. You can be lazy. And if you're successful, nobody's going to point you out. Nobody's going to think you're special. Nobody's going to bother you. The minute you become successful, people come after you, they question you, they challenge you. They want to know more from you, they demand more of you, and then they want to see if you can be successful again. A lot of pressure. Easier not to be successful. I don't need a coach. I can do it on my own. Mm. I think I'm gonna ask you to be a little bit more intelligent. Look behind why you don't have a coach or why you don't like coaching. Now, are all coaches good? Of course not. Are there a lot of good ones? There are amazing coaches out there. And how do you find them? Well, you find them. I find my great coaches through referrals of great friends who've had great coaches who refer them to me and vice versa. That's how I found some of the most amazing coaches in the world. And I have several at any given time. And my health, my mindset, the internal dialogue in my brain, my wealth, my business, everything. So I'm not bashful about coaching. Sometimes I may rely on coaching even too much. Why? Because I know I'm my own worst enemy. I know that I can be lazy. I know that I'm easily distracted. I need somebody to hold my toes to the fire, to say, you said you're going to do this. Why didn't you do it? And then I go, okay, Blair, you're blaming. You're justifying. What's the truth? I didn't want to. It was too hard. Okay, so how badly do you want this goal of whatever your sales goal is? Pretty bad. Well, obviously not bad enough that you're not willing to do it. And a coach that is willing to call it and not to be politically correct with you, you don't want a politically correct coach. You want a coach that's going to hit you between the eyes and in the heart and. And tell you the truth. That will get you. That's my experience. That's going to get you the furthest. Okay, so why else do people resistance? Well, yeah, because they don't like confronting. They don't want to be confronted by somebody calling them on their stuff. They don't want to feel like, well, you know, I got enough things going on. I don't need a coach. It's just your fear of confrontation, your fear of being successful. Here's the other thing. I have found that there's some people that do get coaching. There's some people that are actually pretty successful, and all of a sudden they reach this threshold where they feel. It's like they can't. They have so many things going on in their lives. They go, I got to stop. I got to stop the coaching. I'm going to stop personal development training. I'm going to stop coaching. I'm going to stop all this stuff. I just need space. I just need to back off. I need to get away now. I get it. But here's the other thing. I know over all the years, one of the things we know is that pressure can be your friend. Pressure can be your friend. Under pressure, we evolve. It's called perturbation law of dissipative structures. That's another video for another time. But what happens, just like wood under the pressure of the earth becomes coal and becomes diamond, so too, in your mind, when you're under pressure, in the right environment, if you stay with it, you will evolve. You'll be able to handle more complexity without the stress. The problem is you reach a break point where it's like, I can't. It's too hard. I'm going to lose my mind. I want to push it all away. And you try to push away the input to relieve the pressure. That's not good. If that's the case, just recognize it for what it is, take a deep breath, acknowledge that with your coach, and just be with it and go through it. I've seen a lot of people that started into the world of personal development and coaching and had some early wins, did really well, and then just completely backed off. And then I see them a year or two later, and they're right back where they started, maybe even in a worse position than before they started. What happened? Well, you know, I got it together and everything was great, but it was just too much. And I wanted you to clear my schedule. But I'm okay knowing that you're not okay. Because what happened is, is that you're not. It's just like. It's just like I'm getting chiropractic treatment. That's a good example. I'm getting chiropractic treatment and it's extended treatment because my spine needs some correction. But I got to go in two, three days a week for the next several months. Why? Because one adjustment will put me back where I need to. But it's not going to hold. It's not going to hold. Sooner or later, I'm going to come back again, and I need to be adjusted again and adjusted again until my body, my mind, my emotions, my spirit conform to the new way of being. And the same thing is with coaching. So for me, the coaching doesn't end. I might go to a new coach because I need new levels or I need other levels of learning that I need to experience from another specialist, but it doesn't end. So if you're resistant to coaching, the resistance is because you're making the trivial distractions of your life. Listen to me closely. You're making the trivial distractions of your life more important than your dreams. I'm going to say it again. If you procrastinate, if you don't get coaching, if you resist it, you think you don't need it, and you think you're good on your own, then what you're doing is you're making all those other distractions and the lack of accountability more important than your dream. Your dream is you, my friend. It's who you are. It's what you stand for. It's what's in your DNA to do. And you don't in this world. I hope 2020 has taught you you don't do this alone. You can try, but very, very few people will succeed that way. I, of all my friends, and I have some very, very wealthy friends, very successful entrepreneurial friends. None of them do it by themselves, not even close. All have coaches, and they had coaches when they had no money. So it's not an issue of money and finance. It's an issue of you being willing to. To step up. Stop making excuses. Allow yourself to be accountable, finding good people and facing the music. Okay? Don't run from it. You're meant to be great. Let others help you do it. Be amazing.