How much strength do you have?

Well, happy Thursday, or whatever day it is, wherever you are in the world, this is the day for streaming. And I'm really looking forward to talking to you about how strong are you really? How strong are we all really? And what's your little voice do to help you or hurt you to be able to be strong? So again, I look forward to your comments. This whole section that we do together each week is really based upon your comments. It's for me to be able to talk to you, for you to voice your thoughts, your opinions, and mostly your questions that have to do with whatever the topic is. And the topic today is about strength, which is also about your little voice. In other words, how strong are you really going forward? So again, if you've got comments, post them in the. In the chat box and I'll be able to see you and to be able to talk to you a little bit about it. And please invite your friends, share this with other people, get more people into the conversation, because I believe that the more people we have in the conversation, the better off we're all going to be. Okay, so here's the game. The game is you start a business, that you start a family, you engage in some sort of an endeavor, a goal that you have for yourself. And it gets tough as all things of value get tough. And then, so the question is, do you persist? Do you keep going? Or do you choose a different alternative or make an adjustment to go a different way, or abandon or even quit? Okay, now, I would maintain that sometimes any of those options are valid, depending upon your situation. But here's the point. The point is whether you succeed, whether you fail, whether you quit, or whether you don't, only you live with the consequences. You live with the decision that you made. So I'll give you a little bit of a model that we'll operate from. A little bit of a model. And the model kind of looks like this if we're looking at strength. Personal strength. Talk about personal strength. I'm not talking about muscular strength. I'm talking about personality, personal strength. Personal, emotional, mental, spiritual strength. Right? Consists of about three or four things. Number one is how persistent are you? Are you persistent? In other words, no matter what's going on, do you keep plugging away at it? Do you keep getting better? Do you go for the long term or are you easily distracted? Do you drift away? What is it you do that's number one, your persistence. I would maintain that some people are naturally very persistent. Some people are naturally not very persistent. Does that mean you have no strength. No. But it may mean that if you have difficulty dealing with difficult situations, it may be an area you want to develop. Okay, that's number one, persistence. Number two is your pain threshold, your pain. In other words, how much pain are you able to deal with? Now, I'm not talking about torture, physical torture, necessarily, although if you are a fighter or if you are somebody that's involved in a physical, grueling endeavor, that may be part of it. But I'm talking about how much pain can you deal with to get to the number three, which is your ultimate goal and the value of that goal? All right, so it's the. A goal that has value. It's your persistence, it's your ability to deal with pain and a whole bunch of other things that happen in between. Okay, so again we'll click on the comment to show the screen. Okay, so good. Want to show the screen Here, here, here. We don't need to see it up there. Hide. Okay, good. Hide. There we go. All right. Randy Waters. True. Even changing small habits can be painful. That's true, that's true. I mean, the number of people that have tried to go on diets, quit smoking, be a better communicator, sometimes the small ones are the most, are the most difficult ones. That's truly true. So let's go back to the three, three elements. Number one, how naturally persistent are you? Are you the type of person that just going to persist, going to persist, going to persist in sales? You never stop making the calls, no matter how many times people push you back. Is that natural for you or is that unnatural for you? Number one? Number two, how much grief or pain are you able to deal with? Are you comfortable with that? Or is it something you just rather not deal with at all and avoid it at all costs? Or number three, probably the most important, what is it you're going? Where do you need the strength? What's the goal? And how much value does it have to you? In other words, how bad do you want it? Whatever it is, wealth, health, happiness, joy, good physically fit body, whatever it is that you want, how badly do you want it? Again, put your comments in the chat box. Let me talk to you a little bit about. I want to hear about your comments, but I'll give you some of my points of view and hopefully this can help you be stronger because certainly in the last year, everybody's had the opportunity, everybody their strength tested. I've had mine tested, all my colleagues have. And anybody I've met have. People have persisted and have done well, some people have persisted. They're still persisting, but they're not doing well. And some people have quit and gone on to doing other things or have just disappeared. So there's all those options. Now let me tell you that quitting, quitting has a benefit. So I shouldn't be saying this on a live broadcast, but I'm telling all of you that quitting has a benefit. What's the benefit? The benefit is when you quit, the pain stops. So you get immediate reward for immediate reward for quitting, whether you're working out, doing pushups, whatever it is that you're doing and it really hurts and you can't go any further. If you quit, the pain stops. So the way we're kind of set up is you get immediate gratification, you get immediate reward for quitting. So how, how does that work for you? How does that work for you? So again, I'll add how fulfilled you feel with that. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So again, when you do persist, however, then there's a long term benefit. How do you feel once you've accomplished whatever the goal is, whether or not you've had to endure a lot along the way? Okay. So again, persistence is key. How willing are you to keep going? The other thing about the pain side of it is this pain. As my mentor, Mac Newton says, pain is unavoidable. Pain is unavoidable. As a matter of fact, pain is inevitable. But what he says, suffering is optional. Suffering is optional. Now what do you mean? What's he mean by that? Well, if you're a, a mother and you've given birth to a child, pain is inevitable. You're going to experience pain through childbirth, maybe more than once. Okay, you're going to experience it, okay. But suffering, suffering is avoidable and optional. In other words, once you give birth, the pain, the physical pain stops with, with time. And if you suffer, it's only because you're choosing to suffer because, well, I didn't do this right, I'm not doing that right. I'm worried about this, I'm worried about that. So the suffering many times is your avoidance, your avoidance of experiencing the pain. I'll say it again. The suffering that we experience is what happens to your mind and your body and your, and your emotions when you're avoiding the pain. I don't want to work out. I don't want to work out. I don't want to work out. So you're suffering because your body's not doing well. You know, you need to do it, but you're not going to. You're not going to do it because you don't want to experience the pain. So now you're suffering, whereas if you just experience the pain and go through it, the suffering is over. Maybe a different kind of suffering, but what you're doing is you're experiencing momentary pain. And with time, the pain will gradually go away. But if you don't, your suffering will go on forever. Okay? So remember that pain unavoidable. If you're trying to achieve something that you don't have, if you're trying to upset your status quo and go beyond where you already are. Okay? And then the third thing is, how bad do you want it? How bad do you want to have a great body? How badly do you want to generate wealth for yourself? Maybe some nice idea, but how badly do you want to do it? Particularly if you come from a background where you don't have a lot of knowledge about creating wealth, you don't have a financial education, your parents didn't give it to your grandparents didn't give it to you, and certainly school didn't give it to you. Okay, but you really want it. The question is, how bad do you want it? Because I would maintain the less information you have, the more persistent you're going to need to be and the more pain or anguish you may have to deal with along the way to get there, if you really want it. Okay, so what do we have here? So can see a Dana? I have a client who blames personality for his persistence in doing lots of stupid things. He's desperate. He's desperate. Okay, well, we don't want him to be desperate, so let's kind of take a look at that blame. Who blames his personality for his persistence doing lots of stupid things. Okay, so maybe his definition of persistence is not the same as mine. He sounds very impulsive. Okay. And very willing to push the envelope, maybe even willing to take risks. That's not the same as persistence. Persistence is being clear on a goal and going after it and after it. Even though you get setback, even though you get momentary failure, you keep going and going to. So Napoleon Hill says is a person with definite purpose, person with definite purpose will get setbacks and have momentary failures, but they're persistent enough that they're going to keep going toward the goal that they're shooting for. Okay? So he says pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Thank you, David Belfort. Okay, so again, the client who blames his personality for persistence, he's doing lots of stupid things. My question is why is he desperate? Well, he's desperate because he's doing lots of stupid things. So how do you. So step back from that. How do you fix doing lots of stupid things? Well, don't be stupid. Okay, so don't be stupid. Why is a person stupid? A person is stupid by doing the same thing over and over again without gaining additional knowledge to know how to do it. Okay, I'll say it again. Being stupid means you have no knowledge in a certain area. You're stupid in the area of finance, let's say. So how do you fix that? You get education, you learn. He may be desperate because he has a good idea and he just jumps on it. With no education, with no mentorship, with no support in learning how to do it. So he looks back on it as stupid things. I'm going to say that he shouldn't be desperate because clearly his strength is his willingness to push ahead even when he doesn't know what the heck he's doing. So solution, learn what the heck you're doing. Step by step. Increment is increment. So take a look with your client. Where is he desperate and what is the field? What is the area? And step it back a little bit. Why do you consider to be stupid? Well, it's stupid because I never get ahead and doesn't work. Okay, why? Because I just don't know enough about it. Okay, good. So what can you do about that? Well, I suppose I could get some information. Good. Where could you find that? Who could you find it from? What was one thing you could do this week to get yourself educated in this area? So even if you make a mistake, even if you don't do it, at least it's not a stupid mistake. Stupidity is doing something, is screwing up on is doing something. Knowledge about how to do now things. You might be lucky and get through it anyway, but you didn't learn anything. Okay, so ask him what he's learned, what he needs to learn so he's no longer stupid. And by the way, the idea of him calling himself, blaming him, blaming his personality is not going to help at all. That's another little voice issue. Okay, so stop blaming. Remember, if you're going to be, if you're going to get what you want, one of the rules of your code of honor should be blaming. No excuse making and take responsibility. So by taking responsibility, you don't blame anybody. You don't even blame yourself. I'm going to blame my personality just the way I grew up. Okay, that's great. Maybe the way you grew up. It's not doing you any good. Right? Stop blaming. What are you going to do right now? First of all, make a vow. You're going to be responsible for everything that happens. And what that means is you're not responsible for all the things that actually happen to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to them. Okay? Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Okay? So whoever your client is, tell them. They'll forget the background of his, you know, of his personality and where that all came from. Just forget about it. What are you going to do right now to stop being stupid? Okay. What are you going to do right now to speak persistent. What is the goal that you have and how badly do you want it? Put some weight on that. How bad? Why do you want to get in good shape? You have kids because you want to be able to play with your kids. You want to live a long, happy life. You want to have energy and vitality. You don't want to crash at the end of the day. And don't be desperate. Desperate is also a little voice issue. You're desperate because you don't know where to go. That's being stupid or confused. Good. So we've established that. So now what do you got to do to take a step back from that? If you're driving in a car and you're lost or you're confused, what do you do? Keep driving? I hope not. I hope you stop, pull out a map, plot your GPS and take a look at where you're at at the minimum, and. Or if not, at least find somebody and ask for directions. Okay. These are all common principles. Okay. So again, how strong are you? As the topic. And strength is not so much about physical strength, but it's having the tools, having the goals, having the persistence, and being willing to deal with a little bit of pain along the way. Okay. All right, good. So what other questions or comments do you have about that? Let's see here. What do we have? I'll change saying, whoops, where'd that go? Great to know in advance for not to quit when there's pain. Right. Okay. I'll change saying how fulfillment this thing would make you feel instead of saying how bad you want this. Okay. Yeah. How fulfilled would you be either way? That's fine. However you want to phrase it is fine. How. How fulfilled would you feel? You know, but, you know, sometimes I had an experience over the last weekend which I will not share with you. I attended a program where I was a complete participant, where I had no prior knowledge of what was going on. It was a personal growth program. And I was tested. I was tested to the. To the core of my spirit. And. And at the time of going through the process of going through the learning, the focus on fulfillment, how fulfilled I'd feel at the end, never even could was not even in my mind. All that was in my mind was a dogged thought. Don't quit, no matter what. Keep going, no matter what. And so for me, it was. There's something inside of you called your spirit that is beyond your muscular strength. It's beyond your mental strength. It's beyond your emotional strength. It's when everything else fails you and something inside of you arises, there may be even no reason, maybe there's not even a great goal out there, maybe there's no reason for you to continue to persist, but there's something inside that says, I am not going to quit. I'm not going to quit. I would maintain that our veterans that have fought overseas face these things a lot when they're in combat, when they're facing near death. And I've never experienced that, and I hope that very few people ever have to. But it's very. But everybody. Everybody listening to this has a spirit that's stronger than any part of you. And so part of the value of asking yourself, how strong am I? Is to be able to get yourself to a point without maybe the stress or the pain with all of that, to the point where it's your spirit that stands up. Yeah. People say, yeah, don't pursue that anymore. It's too problematic. That business is too difficult for you. You don't know enough. You're not experiencing something, so take it easy on that. Give yourself a break. But there's something inside of you says, no, I'm not. I'm not gonna. And it goes beyond logic. Right? It goes beyond logic. It's a strength that sits inside of you that is rarely tapped by the average person. Rarely tapped. But begin to look for it. My advice to you is to look for it, to learn to depend on it, to learn to trust it a little bit. Because if you do, you're going to find you start to take quantum leaps toward the things that you really do want, because many times they will defy good logic. It defies good logic. Starting, for example, starting a business during COVID 19 in 2020, in the midst of COVID 19, a restaurant, for all practical matters, would seem to be really a stupid thing to do. But there are some people that did it and have done great where most People that were in the business failed. Why? Why? Because I think there's something else inside which goes back to the title of this, of this session is how much strength do you really have? And I would say that if you have. You have spiritual strength and emotional and mental and physical strength, you will do well. It won't always be easy, but you'll do well. Someone said, do you think cheap people who leave no tips in restaurants and so on are strong or is it just bad character? I don't know. I never equated leaving a tip to any kind of strength. I just think that people have habits. Excuse me, I'm not going to comment on that habit, but typically somebody that doesn't is not willing to offer support or help to other people or being a little bit selfish. I don't think it has anything to do with strength or no strength. I just think it has to. That question has to do with your values. What do you value most? Okay, which we talked about before, maybe we'll talk about in the future when creating a code of honor. What are your values? If your values are myself, my finances, my, my health, my education, et cetera, et cetera. And nowhere on and those are your values. But nowhere in your values do you have concern or care or for other people. In other words, for some people, love is a core value. Love of self and love of others. I would say person doesn't leave a tip that may not be one of their core values. Does that make them wrong? No, but it makes it a little more difficult to deal with the world in a reciprocal manner. Okay, so again, I don't think that has anything to do with strength. I think it has to do with just your core values, if you're used to. I was asked a really important question this weekend and one of the questions was real simply, who are you? Who are you? Well, who am I? Well, I'm a teacher, I'm a leader. But somehow in the context that I was asked the question, those were all true. But it didn't seem like that was all of me. There was more than me. There was more to it. That was really me. And so the word that came up for me was, well, who am I? I'm an example. All of you are examples. Now, that could be positive, it could be negative. Okay, maybe a negative example. You may be a positive example, you may be a neutral example, but all of you are examples to somebody else and to yourself. So as an example, how do I show up in the world? What kind of strength do I have? Am I persistent? Can I deal with pain? Do I have set goals that add value to myself and to other people around me? And how badly do I want it, or how fulfilled would I be to achieve it? And what am I willing to put myself through? I think that in going into 2021 ushers in a new era in a lot of areas, in business and life and parenting, and a new type of individual, a new type of person. And that new type of person is not a person that kind of cruises on their laurels. It's not somebody that is satisfied with what they got. It's a person that is willing to continue now to push ahead into a new world, into a new world, a new world of education, a new world of relationships. And all of those things are going to require strength because it's very easy to fall back to. Okay, let's go back to pre pandemic time. Let's go back. I have a friend who's in India, just wrote a book, or he's writing a book, soon to be published, to help people, owners of hotels, be able to raise their game and make them better. And it's gonna require, and I'm reading through it, it's gonna require some pain. It's not about trying to wait for Covid to come back or for the days of pre Covid to come back. What it's about is about taking wherever you are and taking it up and taking it up and taking it up and taking it up, all of which are going to require the three things that we talked about. I mean, he's very gracious, he's very generous. He's a very kind person. But the things that he advocates are the changes you're going to make into your hotel or into your property will require a bit of pain. It's going to require people being willing to learn new things, learn new skills. And if you do that, if you're an establishment willing to do that, you'll win. If you don't, then you won't. Right. So, again, I believe that strength is something we all need a little bit more of, certainly in the days of individuality and having who you are, that we all need to be strength to get past some of our own issues for the betterment of our families and people around us. So it's difficult times for myself and for everybody. Okay, who am I? Yeah, David. A pioneer spirit. Okay, good. What does that mean? What does that look like? And are you living it every day? Are you living it every day? So again, who are you? Is a Very powerful question. It comes to this thing about how much do you really have? Because how much strength you have is also part of who you are, part of the example, the example that you set for other people who are watching you even while you're on this call right now. They're watching, right? They're watching. You are the. I always say all of you that are. Anybody that's listening to me for sure, are the subject of dinner conversations at other people's dinner tables, right? And that's not good or bad, it's just what is. Because the minute you decide and many of your coaches, many of you are teachers, many of you are business owners, albeit maybe a small business or even a big business. Is it in those positions, people look to you as a mentor and they're looking at one of the big things they look at. Again, I come back to the topic. They're looking at your strength. So they're thinking like we're for David Belfor. It's like when somebody faces a problem, I know you own a hair salon, right? So you have all these stylists and you know when you face a challenge in your business, they watch the example that you set. Not nice, but it's true. So then when they face maybe a few days or a few weeks down the road, they face a challenge maybe in their personal life, in their relationship, or in their personal finance. And one of the first thoughts, once the emotion hits, one of the first thoughts, that those people are going to think, well, how would David handle this? Scary thought. How would Aram handle this? Can't handle this. How would Gemma handle this? You know what I'm saying? So again, they're going to look to you as an example, which also puts more weight on you to do the right thing or what you, you based on your values, would perceive to be the right thing. I can't tell you. I mean, if I ask you who you are, for example, who are you, whatever you say, I can't judge it because it's only the answer, is only your answer, nobody else's answer, and nobody even has the right to judge it other than you. And so that's why when it was asked of me and I'd say, well, I'm a teacher, I'm a leader. And something inside said, yeah, but that's kind of a label. But is that who I really am? I wrestled with plus or minus to it, is that I am an example. I'm an example. I'm an example. All of you are example. How strong is that example? Or how weak is that example? Or how persistent is that example? That's all up to you because it's not as a position, as a leader. It's not just about your behaviors. Let me put it this way. Your behaviors do not just affect you anymore. If you are in position of leadership, which I would maintain all of you are, particularly if you have children or if you're in a business or you part of a group of people, you work with other people, your. And that's what makes you a great teacher and a leader. Okay. All right. So any other questions as we go further on this? We spent about a half an hour on it of how strong are you? How much strength do you have? And again, my point of view consists of three things, maybe four three things for sure. Your strength is determined by your persistence, willingness to keep going and not quit. Number two is by your ability to deal with a certain amount of pain, a certain amount of uncomfortable, to endure it and get through it, because it's inevitable if you're going to get your goal. And the third part is the goal that you have and how much value does it set for yourself. Now, I would maintain that the fourth of strength are the skills or the tools that you have to deal with the other three, how many tools do you have? Your persistence or lack thereof, or in your pain or to set. So again, what skills? That's why we wrote the voice mastery that's doing this call. So I can. So if I or the rest of us can help each other obtain skills necessarily to be stronger, then we all win. We all win. Absolutely. Thank you, David. Yeah, there's a great responsibility with all that. So, Aram, you ask a great question. And the other question is, what is the limit? What do you think is the moment to stop and change the path? Okay, I'm going to address this. I was hoping somebody would ask that question. When is there a time to quit? Okay, I'm a strong person. I've got all these things. But is there a time to quit? Is there a time to fold in the towel and say, that's it, this is not working and to move on? Okay. And I would say you're going to hate the answer, but the answer is it depends. What does it depend on? Well, it depends on how important the goal is that you're going for. You know, quitting what you're doing doesn't mean you're quitting. Maybe you're changing course a little bit. Maybe you're changing a different strategy. Maybe there's a momentary setback but you're on your purpose and you're not going to abandon your purpose. So you're not really quitting on game. You're quitting this particular strategy because it's just you're trying to teach. We say in sales, dogs is trying to teach a pig how to sing and pigs don't sing and. And they get annoyed. So you learn that I can't. I have to go around this guy somehow or other. So there's a time to quit. But there's also. Quitting is also about just giving up on the game simply because you're tired or you have no more strength or that you don't have enough knowledge or things like that. I'm going to say this to all of you, and you may not agree with this. If the goal is worth pursuing, if it's going to change your life and change other people's lives and it value, no matter what happens, there comes a point in time where you just take quit out of your vocabulary, off the table. I'm just not going to quit, at least through this time frame. Okay? So let's say you're. You've got till the end of the month to make something, to get a sales goal, let's say. And you need the sales goal because you need you. Your business has got to succeed. You've got to generate this income. So you go for it and you go for it. And even though it's painful and even though it's not working and even though it looks bleak, you resurrect everything in your power to keep going, to keep going intelligently. Not just to keep going, but to keep going intelligently and to be able to make the moves and make the decisions that need to be made, even though things are collapsing around you. Because the minimum that's going to happen is if you have a team, you've set an example that you just don't quit. Okay? You set an example to your kids and to your family that you don't quit. Okay? But on the flip side, there's been many of many an entrepreneur who doesn't quit when maybe they should have. And they just drive that airplane, they're flying right into the side of the mountain and take everybody down with them, take the business down, take the family down, take your finances down. You lose everything because you're unwilling to quit. So there's no real definitive answer to that. But I would say this is that if it's an issue of spirit as opposed to an issue of practicality, I go for spirit. I Go for spirit. Because magic happens when you exert yourself, your mental, physical, mental, emotional self, to a level that maybe you've never done before, something magical happens to you. Now, I'm not saying to hurt yourself, but what will happen is magic will occur. Things will show up that maybe didn't never showed up before. You will learn something about yourself you never learned before. You may still not get what you were going for. At the end of the day, you look around and you've gotten bigger. You look in the mirror and your face looks different. You notice that when you talk to people, you talk to them with a different tonality, with a different level of confidence. So you've changed, you've grown. You didn't get the goal, but you continued to grow, which is probably the most important piece because you let your spirit take over. Not your emotion, not your gut instinct, but your spirit. It's very difficult to describe, and I'm doing my best to describe something that most people don't experience in their lives. But I think that if you, if you're of definite purpose and your purpose is strong and you're committed to it, you never quit. You just don't quit. You find another way. You find a way to, to do it a different way, but you don't quit. Right? Give me an example, personal example right now. Mission of my organization is to produce the best teachers, leaders and facilitators in the world. And there's a lot of why behind that, which I'm not going to get into. But again, to have strength, you got to. The value of what you're doing is part of the deal. The big why behind what you do. Okay. I face a lot of setbacks on that and continue to. There have been many opportunities to quit and just go do something else. That in the training business that would be great and fine and I can make good money, but. But I've resisted it. And in the moment when I'm just thinking this is just not working, I've tried every which way to do this. It just doesn't work. I take a deep breath and I go stronger at it. And I just allow my spirit or the part of me that will not quit to take over. And you know what? Something good usually happens right there. You know, I always say that, you know, for most of us, your little voice gets in the way. Your mindset is what gets in the way. What's Karen saying? Great point. If something is your purpose, you have to keep going. I find that often when I've tried to give up A new door would open or something significant, almost like a sign to keep you going. You're right. Often we want to quit when we're just tired. Thank you. Who here has ever been tired? All of us, if you're an entrepreneur, we've all been tired. And there's days when we feel tired. There's days when we feel invigorated. But I think that it's an interesting point. I was actually going to title this section, this live stream. I was going to call it when do you quit? And again, it depends on if you are of strong purpose, definitive purpose, something that adds value to you and to other people. And it's. And it's noble, and it's something that will help you and help other people. And it's. And you can see that it's possible to do. Don't quit. Keep going. The world needs more people like you that won't quit on it. And again, if you're. If we're on a team together, I don't want to have to look to my right and left and wonder whether you're still there. I want to know that as long as I'm in the battle, you're in the battle with me. And as long as you're in it, I'm in it with you. That's critical. That's critical. Okay. Yeah. Somebody said, I promised. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Again, I think wisdom is the key to finding your answers. Wisdom is key. Finding answers. Let me scroll up here. There was a great comment I wanted to address here. You have to keep going. Do you think someone who makes all the wrong decisions in his private life can make all the right decisions in his professional life? Who we talking about? Kids? You. We talk about you. Okay, so I think that there are. They all kind of want. As an entrepreneur, they all kind of wind up to being close to the same. And. And that is. Makes all the wrong decisions in his private life, makes all the right decisions in his professional life. Well, what if that life were one life? I would suggest to a person like that is to have them go back to your core set of values. What are the 5, 10 values that are most important to you? Values like integrity, honesty, love, health, whatever the wealth, whatever it is for you, start there and be clear of those. Create yourself a personal code of honor. We've talked about that before. What are the rules for each one of those things? And so why in the world would you play by the rules in your business but not play by the rules at home? And why are those rules so different? They shouldn't be that different. Okay? A lot of people do that and they use it as an excuse. In other words, they work hard, they're pushing hard, pushing hard, pushing hard. And they do well in their business. They go home and they relax, okay, I need a break. Okay? You don't get a frickin break. Sorry, you don't get a break As a human being. If you're going to be a leader, you, leader of your family, or a leader of yourself, or a leader of a business, then step up to it. Allow the professionalism in your business to cascade into other areas of your life and do the same thing with the same level of discipline. And you're going to find that your personal life, you'll start making better decisions, you'll start hanging around with better people. Stop hanging around with people that don't support you, being the best that you can be. I'm sure that person doesn't do that in their business. So part of your strength, going back to the topic, going back to your strength, your strength is also determined by the people you're you surround yourself with. Who are they? And do they support you to be the best that you can be? You know, and in your business, I, well, I do, but at home I don't, you know, and I just, you know, I just chill and I really. Well, no problem with chilling, no problem with relaxing. But I will say this, is that the disciplines that you have in one area of your life, you can have in all areas of your life if you choose to. Oh, but Blair, it's too hard. It's only too hard because you're resisting it. It's only too hard because you're trying to make separations between it. Don't put it all together. Put it all together. You know, the people closest to you don't support you in your business. That's a different problem. That's a different problem. Okay, if you're great professional and you're great and do well in your profession, in your business, but then when you leave the office, you go out and drink, do drugs, hang around with crazy, crazy people, do kind of stupid things, don't take care of yourself and other people around you, but you, you take care in business, why would you do that? Why would you do that? You're doing it because at some level you're addicted to bad behavior, you want to have a break. It's not really a break because you, because that person is making the wrong decisions in their personal life, is suffering as a result of it. Remember our Definition of suffering. Suffering is. Is not. Is avoiding the pain. They're avoiding the pain of taking the same discipline they have in another area of their life and bringing it into the other part of their life. Okay? That's all that is. So that person is going to suffer until they're willing to experience a little bit of pain, to move through it, and then they're going to be strong. Okay? So that's kind of my. My answer to all of that. Okay, great questions this week, you guys. Awesome. See what else? Character is character in your private life and professional lack of integrity will catch up and be revealed eventually. Well, yeah, yeah, that makes sense to me. That lack of integrity will catch up and be revealed eventually. That's true. I think that, you know, it's called being congruent, that your thoughts, your beliefs, your thoughts, your language and your actions all line up. It's all consistent. And anytime that goes out, there's going to be a problem. Anytime one of those pieces, let's say you have a belief in serving other service is important, and that's your belief. Serving other people is important. And you tell your business professes that, you tell that to your team, you tell that to your staff, but you don't necessarily do it because you don't have time, because you got other stuff going on at some point. Remember, as an example, that's going to show up, other people say, well, why is he saying one thing but doing something else? Okay, and the other thing that's going to happen is it's going to form a break in the wholeness. That's you. I always use a. A cup as an example. You know, you have a cup, a teacup. And when that, when in the. And the. And the rules and the integrity and the values are all part of the framework of the cup, right? That's part of the cup. And when everything's lined up, the cup is strong. But the minute one of those pieces go out, maybe your actions are not consistent with your beliefs and your words. You know that. You know that you, that you're not in alignment. You know it. And because you know it, there's a little crack in your cup. Now, you allow that crack to persist, it'll start to leak. Whatever's in the cup will leak out. You allow it to persist longer, the cup will break under pressure. So it's a law of physics, and that is to be consistent in your thoughts, your actions, your values, your words, and all the things that you do. And again, have a happier life. Oaz, where is your Treasure. Is it in your heart? I would agree with that. I would agree that that in your heart is your spirit or whatever you. You want to call that. I believe that that's where your strength is. The question I'd say, Oaz, is, is this. I believe in all. I believe all that. I agree with you. However, it's. That's not the issue. The issue is not whether that's a fact. The issue is whether you allow it to demonstrate, if you allow yourself to demonstrate it, whether you. Whether you allow that spirit, that strength, that treasures in your heart to not just sit on the inside, but to be displayed on the outside, particularly in difficult times. Because when we're in difficult times and we're. And we can't pick up our eye, we can't. We can't swing one more time, we are so dead dog tired, we can't do anything. Is that spirit still there? Can you resurrect it to give you another, to let you keep you going another minute longer? Which is sometimes all that it takes. All that it takes. Courage, as Mac Newton said, is simply the ability to stay in fear for one more minute. To be in fear for one more minute. I asked a very dear friend of mine, a dear colleague of mine, that said, when I. He's a veteran, and I asked him, I said, boy, I don't know if I could. I don't know what would happen if I were under fire. I mean, if somebody was shooting at me and, you know, and there was other people depending on me. And would I run? Would I. Would I stand up and fight? Would I hesitate? Would I freeze? What would I do? I don't even know what I would do. I don't know what courage is. He said, well, Blair, courage is not beating yourself on the chest and proclaiming that you're strong. Although that may help a little bit. He said, he says basically what. He described courage as being terrified, being in total fear, but acting anyway, but going through it anyway, if that makes sense now. I can honestly tell you I had a few experiences in my life where I've had that happen. Not a lot, but very recently I have. And it shifts you from being who you are today to being the best part of you every day. The best part of you every day. Okay. Okay. What other questions do we have? The mission that you did not enter the will of God, was too busy in the work of the world. Okay. Possibly. Oh, please unpack. Definition of suffering as avoiding pain. It's profound. I missed it. Okay. Yeah, I'll give that to you Again, let me just address what Oaz is saying. I'm just going to tell you I'm not going to blame God for anything. I'm not saying you are, but I'm not going to. If God was busy, then God was busy. God gave me a part of himself. We were created in his image. And so in there, that spirit is part of him or her or whatever God is to you or is to me. So I don't think, I don't, I don't think that God or whatever was too busy doing anything. I think it was my choice. It's, it's the choices that I made because he gave, he, she, it gave me the choice and it was his divinity of choice. So if that, if it didn't happen, it's not because God was too busy for me, if it didn't happen is because God's not looking kindly upon me or anything like that. He's giving me the choice. I made a bad choice. I made a good choice. And that's my choice. And if and to all choices, my friends, there are consequences. Some of them good, some of them bad. And all I got to do is take a look at the consequences and the evidence up until where I'm at to know whether that choice was a good one or was a bad one. People say, what's your primary value? My family. Good. Is that true? Yeah, that's true. My family comes number one. Well, let's take a look at the evidence. Say, let's take a look at your life over the last year and the decisions that you made. Do those decisions really add up to the fact that your value, that your number one value and your number one loyalty is to your family? Is that what that says or are you kind of kidding yourself or do you need to change some behaviors to line it back up again? That's the challenge. I would have to all of you. That's the challenge. Okay. How do you manage fear, Brenda? The only way I know to manage fear is to well, is to get some education around whatever you're afraid of. But when it, when it shows up, just go into it. Just go, just experience it fully. Immerse yourself and feel the fear and go through it. Because at the minimum, the next time it shows up, it won't be as fearful. Okay. The question was asked that I'll repeat about pain and suffering. My friend, Matt Newton, great athlete. He was a two time world champion in taekwondo. He was a conditioning coach for the Dallas Cowboys, the Oakland A's, the Chicago Cubs. He's got a Super bowl ring, World Series ring, two time world champion in taekwondo. I think I mentioned that. And he's my coach and one of my coaches and he said that, he said that pain is inevitable. In other words, if, if you're gonna grow, you are going to experience pain. You are going to move outside of what you know, into an area you don't know and there's going to be some pain with that. Some uncomfort could be physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, possibly to move into a realm that you're not comfortable. That's, that's pain. He says suffering, however, is optional. You don't have to suffer. His definition of suffering is you suffer when you avoid the pain. In other words, let's use, I always use losing weight or getting in great shape, right? So let's say you want to get in great shape and you don't want, and you don't want to work out, you don't want to do all those things. So you know you should, you know you should be doing it. So the suffering is hanging out in a place where you know you should be doing something but you're not doing it and you're making up all kinds of excuses why not to do it. So meantime, you go for days, months, years suffering with bad health when you could just experience the pain that may persist for a little while and go out there and start working out and change your diet and do the things that you need to do. Yes, it's going to be painful. Yes, the pain may persist for a few days or weeks, but there's no more suffering pain. It comes, it's sharp, it hits, you deal with it. You may cry, I've cried. You may yell and scream, but then it's over. Why? Because you've gone, you've gone into the pain, you've gone into the pain and now you're into a new behavior. And after a while, the pain begins to subside. If you don't, you'll suffer for years and years and years and years and years with the same decision. So again, pain is unavoidable if you want to grow. Suffering is optional. And I would say that if you don't want to grow and you don't want to experience the pain, then you will suffer. Because there's always a part of every human being, particularly if you're on this call, that wants to grow. And if you're not growing and you're not doing it because you're trying to avoid the pain you're suffering because you know that is something you should do. Okay. All right, let's see what else here. To manage fear, you just have to do. You just have to do what you're fearful about. Yeah. So how do you manage fear? Well, I don't know. I wish I could tell you that I'm an expert managing fear. I'm not. I'm learning. I think I've been learning my whole life. But I will say this about managing fear. The more times you face it and the more times you work through it, the easier it is. So it doesn't mean fear goes away. It just means it takes a bigger obstacle to cause fear next time, you know, to get. Be afraid, to stand on the scale, to see how much you weigh, there's some fear there. Okay? You do it a few times. After a while, you don't have that fear anymore. But now that your next fear is to go work out with Mac Newton, that creates some fear. Until you get through that and then you're working out with him a few times. And yeah, every time I work out with him, there's a little bit of fear because I know he's going to work me to the bone. But it's not the same fear that, I mean, I look back and stepping on a scale seems like a joke that I was afraid of, that. You see what I'm saying? So what happens is your tolerance for fear gets better. In other words, it gets better. And so the way you ma. It never goes away. Never goes away. But you have to be very careful. In Napoleon Hill's latest book on outwitting the devil, he talks about fear. That fear, when you're in fear, your emotions run high and your intelligence runs low. And what happens is you make bad decisions. You. You don't do things well. And so that's why in the very beginning, if you're doing something that's uncomfortable, you're going to face fear. And you may not make a great decision, and that's just what happens. But you learn and you get stronger. Okay? And I think it was Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, the only fear we have is fear itself. So the fear is not the problem, you guys, because getting on a scale or going to doing a workout is that's. It's just. That's a neutral event. For some people, they're excited about. For some people, they're afraid of it. For some people, they're somewhere in between. So fear is in your mind. That's your little voice. So how do you manage it? Well, without going into a lot of detail, in the book, Little Voice Mastery. Out of the 21. Excuse me, the 21 techniques that are in there, there's probably about four or five. They're just focused on managing fear. Okay. One way real quickly is that if you're feeling fear and it's paralyzing you, then you've got to change your state. Close your eyes. Recall a time when you had some success and you just make a fist. Yes, yes, I got this. I got this. Or do an affirmation in that moment. And in that moment, that affirmation and that memory will displace the thought of fear. Then you take action. Now, I'm not going to tell you that's going to last for the rest of your life, but it'll last for the moments that you need to get to be able to get past the fear to pick up the phone and make a sales call. If that's what's causing you fear, whatever it is, change your state. And again, I gave you a few examples of that. Okay. Okay. Can you help me to concentrate and not procrastinate? Okay. Can you give me how to concentrate and not procrastinate? Well, good point. I'm going to say this about. I don't know that I have a technique for you to use right now other than to do what you just said, and that is to focus as hard as you can and keep going. But I would have you take whatever it is you're procrastinating. Let's say you want to write a book. Say you want to get in shape. Let's say whatever it is you want to talk to your boss about something, I don't know what it is, but you procrastinate. Why? Because you're afraid of it and you don't want to fail. Right. Okay, I got it. So what happens is over time is you keep procrastinating, keep pushing it off. I don't want to do it now. I don't want to do it now. Then your little voice does some strange things. What your little voice will tell you, well, nobody's going to want to read your book anyway. What makes you think you have anything to write that anybody be interested in or your boss isn't going to listen to you, or that's it. Making that sales call is not that important. I'll do a different one. All of a sudden you're making up all these excuses why you don't have whatever it is you set out. You're procrastinating. And then after a while, you just don't do It. So what, what's happening there? What's happening in that situation is your little voice is making your. It is making all the other trivia of your life more important than the goals that you have for yourself. In other words, I'm not going to work. I'm not going to work on my book today because I need to clean the garage. I'm not going to work on it today because I need to go shopping. I'm not going to work out. So you're making all those other things more important than you, than an expression of yourself, of putting yourself out to the world about changing people's lives, about. About creating a legacy for yourself, creating passive income for yourself. But see, you didn't see that. You're just procrastinating because of the fear, right? So what you do is, what I would have you do is make a list of what you're procrastinating and all the reasons why. Why you procrastinate. Well, because nobody going to want to read it. I'm not smart enough. I'm not any of these things and just look at them and laugh and, and then tear up the piece of paper and then make a commitment and blah, blah, blah, and to set the goal and go for it. But most people procrastinate. They don't know why they're procrastinating. It's fear. And then what they're doing is you're letting your little voice make other things way more important than the things that are most important to you and to your family and to the people around you. Okay. Oh, we're almost up for the hour. Okay. So hopefully this is a great discussion. These are great, great questions. It was great to see some new people on the call. So please go to my website, go to blairsinger.com There's a whole class on little voice mastery and how to win the war between your ears on YouTube as well. Please subscribe to the channel. Subscribe to our website because every week I put up a new video, new video to teach you how to master your little voice and how to have an extraordinary life in less than 3:30 seconds. Okay? So thank you again for being part of this, part of this call. And I look forward to seeing Susie Gator. That was good to meet you. Lorraine Rushton. Thank you. Brenda laborde. Okay, I can do this. That's right, you can. You absolutely can do it. Oaz, J.J. everybody else, thank you so much. And David, thank you. Blessings to you, my friend. Thank you. Thank you for being on the call. You guys, have an awesome week. Keep your questions together, set, go. You know, go to blairsinger.com and let me know what the questions are for the live cat for our live stream every week, and I'll do my best to bring them up. Okay? You guys be amazing. Bye. Bye.