Blair Singer speaks from Singapore in a short solo video explaining how to find and approach mentors. He warns against superficial tactics (seeking selfies or self-promotion), advises researching a mentor's current credibility, recommends realistic expectations, and emphasizes serving, volunteering, and producing results to earn mentorship; he also notes the need for thick skin and authenticity.
Hey gang, this is Blair and I am in beautiful downtown actually Singapore. See, look, here's Singapore. Yeah, full of high rises and everything. Okay, so out here in Singapore, going to do a train the trainer tomorrow with like 400 plus people. It's going to be amazing. Just want to thank you guys for the last Facebook Live. Your responses were pretty overwhelming. So I'm going to do my best to answer a few of those questions you had. Some people were split between, well, they weren't sure on their path, they weren't sure how to find the right mentor and some other things. So I sent you a list, or it's coming to you soon, of some of the notes from the last one. But I just wanted to share with you a real pet peeve of mine, which is one of the questions and that is how do you find a mentor? How do you approach a mentor and how do you get them to be your mentor? Right? I mean, because one of the shortcuts to getting where you want to go is find other people that are doing it. So I'm going to tell you a couple things to do. I have a quick list right here that I made for you and if you want that again, just as always, just say list and I'll send this to you so you can spend more time on it. But here's the deal. I'm going to tell you with a couple things to do and not to do, okay? One of the things, people come up to me all the time say, how do I get a meeting with Kiyosaki and all that stuff because we've been best friends for all these years. I go, you're not going to get an appointment with him. But if you want somebody to be your mentor, first thing to consider is obviously why? Why do you want them to be your mentor? Because are you doing it because you want to get a selfie with them? To self promote yourself, to put it on your website? That ain't going to work. And anybody, any good mentor, any good leader or teacher in their right mind will see right through that. And they won't acknowledge you even present. So don't do that. You're better than that. Be awesome. Okay? So that's number one. Second thing is the other question is, what is their history? So if you're going to pick somebody that you want to mentor and follow, what's their history? Are they transparent? Have they learned by trial and error? Have they really earned the right? Have they earned the right lately? Are they still basing their laurels on things they did 25, 35 years ago. Are they current with what they're doing now? These are tough questions and you don't have to ask the person this, but you can do your own market research and figure it out. You want somebody that's in the game, not somebody that used to be in the game. Okay. And there's a lot of reasons for that, which I'll explain another time. Third thing is to be realistic about your expectations. Third thing realistic. I've met so many people who've come up to me and go, oh my gosh, you know, I, you know, I stopped going to personal development programs. And the reason I stopped going is because I was really disillusioned by the person who I was studying with. Right, Disillusioned. Why? I mean, you know, I'll give you an example. One of my mentors growing up was a fellow by the name of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, President of the United States at one time. I never knew him personally, never got a selfie with him, none of that stuff. But I admired him because of his leadership abilities, not because of his family values, not because of his lack of fidelity with his wife. I mean, that's not something I would want to model at all. But there are pieces of what he did that I wanted to model. So be realistic about it. Be realistic about what is you want. Nobody sits on an ivory pedestal and has no faults. We all have faults. You got them, I got them, we all got them. So be realistic going into that. Okay, so those are the three things. Now here are the things to do if you want them to be a mentor. First thing, don't do, don't go up to them and say, I want you to be my mentor. Because that's a total turn off. And they'll look the other way. Particularly in a crowd. They're in front of a group of people and you go up them and you're bank clawing your way to the front of a group to try to get to meet them and say, I want you to be their mentor. You have zero credibility. You will be discounted forever to. Don't do that. Don't be one of those kind of people. Because I would also challenge the reason why you'd want to do it. So don't do it. Your energy is not enough. Somebody say, if you have the most energy, wins. Yeah. In sales in some cases. Don't do this. Honor mentors, honor teachers. Matter of fact, if you want to find somebody to be your mentor, here's what you do. What you do is you show up, study them, do your market research on them, go to their programs. And if you really want to get active and really want them to mentor you at some level, serve, find a way to serve. Be on crew, support them, volunteer for them, and shut up. Don't talk. Don't be the loudest person. As a matter of fact, be the quietest person. Be the quietest person in their community. But with the biggest testimonial, that's how you get a mentor. Do what they say. Follow what they tell you to do. Go out and do it. Don't talk about it, just do it. Get the results, the testimonials. Show the testimonials to other members of the group and you will rise to the surface quickly and a person will be willing to mentor you. Now, when that happens again, See, most people don't want to do that because they don't want to go the distance to do that. They want the selfie. Don't be one of those. Be a person that truly wants to learn and wants to serve. Now, there's a lot of other things I'm not going to cover with you right now, but here's another thing. One thing I do want to cover with you. You want a good mentor, make sure you've got a thick skin. Because if somebody of value is going to spend any amount of their time working with you, they're not going to. They're going to cut to the chase. And if you got a thick skin and you get upset easily and your feelings get hurt, don't bother. Go get that handled first, before you start showing up for one of us to support you and work with you. And no flowery language like I love you, you're awesome, you're fantastic. People hate that. People hate that because it doesn't feel genuine. And if your affection is sincere, show it in the way you demonstrate. Show it in the way you demonstrate by taking action and doing the things they ask you to do. Okay, so hopefully these things were helpful in finding a mentor. If you want the rest of the list, I got about 7 more. 7 things on this list plus another 3. Got 10. 10 I will send out to you. Type in list, tell me list that you want to know how to find a mentor and you want to know how to do this. Because in the next one, I'm going to talk to you about how to find your right path. Because that was the other thing that people were interested in. All of you are leaders. If you're on here, you're a leader. You need to find somebody else that can help you get there quickly. But do it the right way and you follow what I'm telling you, you'll have lots of great. And by the way, you can have more than one good mentor and leader. I love you guys. Be awesome. Have a great, great day.
