Blair Singer teaches a technique for deeper relationships: sit knee-to-knee with someone, make eye contact, and give undistracted attention for 30 seconds to a minute. He's practiced it for an hour and says it builds trust and listening skills, calling these moments "butcher block conversations" with his wife.
Hi, this is Blair Singer again, author of Little Voice Mastery, Rich dad, advisor to Robert Kiyosaki and founding contributor to Radical wealth, here to talk to you about another little voice technique that you can use every single day. As a matter of fact, of all the techniques, this is probably the single most important that you're going to get the most mileage out, particularly in your relationships. And I give this to you courtesy of my great teachers, one of my great teachers, Jane Johnson. It's called being present. How many times have you ever talked to somebody who was physically there but mentally checked out? How many times have you ever been the person that was checked out? So you're physically there, but you're not present. And I can tell you that in a negotiation, when there's money on the line, if you're not present with the other person that you're negotiating with or listening to what they're saying, you're going to miss cues. You're going to miss things, you're going to miss their needs, you're not going to be able to serve them because your mind is already engaged in some other comeback conversation or witty way to come back to them. Don't do that. There's an exercise that you can practice. I'm going to show you right now. It's called being present. And all it is. I suggest you do this with a colleague, a friend, most importantly, your significant other. And all you're going to do is you're going to sit knee to knee. Now, you don't have to touch. Focus on the other person and give yourself a time limit. Start with one minute, and all you're going to do is be perfectly present. That means no talking, no sign language, no nodding your head, no laughing, no winking, none of that stuff. You just look the other person in the eye. This is not a staring contest, but it's doing your best to. To stay 100% present with them. Now, your little voice will go crazy with this, why am I doing this? Why are they looking at me this way? This is ridiculous. And that's part of the process. Just let that flow through and do your best to stay connected. Now here's a bonus I'm going to let you in on. If you're able to do this with somebody important in your life, I guarantee you you will find that you find a new level of closeness, a new level of connection that maybe you haven't had for years. I know my wife and I do this periodically when it gets really hectic around the house and the kids are just going crazy. We call it our butcher block conversations where we just sit there at the butcher block in the kitchen and just presence exercise for 30 seconds. And then I remember how I fell in love. Then I remember why she's my partner in life and why I love her so dearly. It only takes seconds, but it also takes practice. Start with 30 seconds. Try it for a minute. I've done it as long as an hour now. An hour is a little bit pushing it. But in fact your little voice will learn to become accustomed to it. You'll learn to be able to connect with people. You will find that your relationships with others expands dramatically. You will find that you will hear things you didn't hear before and people will all of a sudden find the that they feel much closer to you than they've ever felt before and that they even trust you. So my advice for you, be present and be awesome.
