Blair Singer explains Lynne Grabhorn's technique for choosing your emotions: identify what you feel now, decide what you want to feel instead, anchor to a memory that evokes it, and watch how your circumstances shift. You can use it for others too.
Hi, this is Blair Singer, author of Little Voice Mastery, how to Win the War between youn ears in 30 seconds or less and a founding contributor to Radical Wealth. You know, we talked about the technique of identifying the emotion. Now let me give you the second part, which is another technique, and that comes from Lynne Grabhorn. Her great book, Excuse Me youe Life Is Waiting. Great technique I learned from her. And basically what she said is this. You can actually choose the emotion you want to have. So step number one, if you recall from the last technique, is identify the feeling that you have. I feel frustrated. That's it. I feel. Am I angry? No, I'm frustrated. That's it. I'm frustrated. Okay, good. So once you identify it, now, that begins to dissipate. Now the next question is, how do I want to feel right now? Now, you find that's. You think that's kind of a silly question, but, you know, a lot of times your little voice has such a big investment in feeling bad sometimes that it doesn't want to feel any better. In the beginning, how do I want to feel? Well, I feel. Want to be miserable. I deserve to be miserable. Okay, stop. Okay, how do I want to feel right now? I want to feel good. Okay, good. So can I remember a time where I felt good? Yeah. I remember. I still have this one. When Ben was, like 5 years old playing soccer for the first time, and he could never score a goal. And he was a great player, but his goals were always wide. Never got one. I remember he finally kicked one and it dribbled into the goal, and his little hand shot up in the air. My hand shot up in the air. And yeah, I mean, I remember that as plain as day. And that's how I want to feel. So remember, it's part of. One of the techniques we talked about before, is anchoring those times of success and love from the past. But now, putting it all together, a. Identify the feeling that you have. Make sure you got it good. Now, next question is, how do I want to feel right now? I want to feel happy. So when was the time I felt happy? What's that feel like? What did that look like? Recall the time until you actually feel happy. And you know what's going to happen. All the elements in your surroundings are going to begin to shift. Don't ask me why, but I'm going to tell you that all of a sudden, people. People will start smiling at you. All of a sudden, people start offering you things. All of a sudden you find yourself in the right place at the right time with the right people, the right things start showing up. And by the way, this is something not only do with yourself, you can do this for a friend, you can do this for other people. It's simply a series of questions. And remember, the quality of the question will determine the quality of the response. You can have the feeling you want, you can operate from the emotional tone that you want. You. You just have to be able to train your little voice to do it. So be awesome.
