Episode 23: Live with CDR Theresa Carpenter on Leadership & Success

Welcome to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach BZ. If you need to develop into a better leader, this podcast is for you. If you want to achieve a greater level of success, this podcast is for you. His mentor, Dr. John C. Maxwell, said it best. Everything rises and falls on leadership. We hope to inspire you today and provide you with an insight that has the potential to positively impact the trajectory of your life. Welcome to the Leadership and Success Podcast.

Hello everyone, this is Coach Bizzy coming to you from an undisclosed location, and I have a very, very, very special guest today, Commander Teresa Carpenter. She's an advocate, she's a senior naval officer, and she is a storyteller, a great leader, really a leader of leaders, and I'm so glad she took the time today to speak with us. Without further ado, here is Commander Carpenter. How you doing, Commander?

I'm doing great, BZ. Thank you so much for having me on, and I'm excited to have this conversation with you. It's such an important issue.

Absolutely. I am so glad you made the time. Like I always say, I believe the Navy and pretty much all of the military is nothing the leadership organization. We just happen to have a whole bunch of people and a bunch of weapons. But, uh, if you— we can start by you telling us about your leadership journey.

Okay, so I have been in the Navy for 25 years. I am a commander. I just put that on last September.

And bravo, Zulu! That's a big deal.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, and I saw that you had just recently made commander too, so congratulations, BZ.

Thank you.

I joined in 1996. I was only 19 years old. I started off fixing aircraft, the S-3B Viking, which was an anti-submarine refueling aircraft. And I did that for approximately 8 to 10 years and worked my way up to being a work center supervisor. A person who was relied on to fix the airplanes, do the maintenance on the airplanes, work on the flight deck, 24/7 flight ops, did operations in combat during Operation Iraqi Freedom. We were deployed on the longest running, at that time, deployment on Abraham Lincoln for 11 months at sea. So I got a lot of experience even in my enlisted time. With good leaders, bad leaders, all, every, every, everything you can think of. And then I decided at that point as an E-5 that I wanted to become a naval officer. So I put in my package, it was called Seaman to Admiral, to become a naval officer. And I wanted to originally become a nurse. And so they did not accept me into the Nurse Corps because I'd always had sort of a soft spot for people or for human interaction. They said that I could go aviation, SWO, what we call unrestricted line, sub— well, actually, I don't even think submarines were open at that time to me as a female. But I decided to go SWO, Surface Warfare Officer, with the intention very early on of becoming a public affairs officer. So they said I couldn't become a PAO right away. I wanted to become a storyteller. I wanted to be a person who told the Navy story, as I had learned about that job very early on in my process to become an officer. And so that first couple years I was a surface warfare officer, I learned the ropes, I got my pin, learned a lot about the Navy in terms of how we drive ships, how we fix ships, how we fight the ship, as they say. And then lat transferred, what we call, into the public affairs community, and I've been a public affairs officer now since 2010, so about— oh, I'm sorry, since 2008. So for about 15 years, I've done public affairs and absolutely loved it.

Wow, that is, uh, quite, uh, amazing. So like, like me, you, you kind of started, uh, enlisted And what is interesting about this? What was your first rank when you first joined and where did you go to boot camp?

Oh, I'm originally from Columbus, Ohio, and I did my boot camp at Great Lakes, Illinois.

Okay, Great Lakes. Great mistake. That's exactly where I went as well. And what was your original your original rank?

I graduated from boot camp, I believe, as an E-3 because I had had some college courses that I took at a local community college. And so they advanced me to E-3 upon graduation from boot camp. And then I went to Keflavik, Iceland.

Wow.

And I fixed P-3s originally on the base P-3 there. So, and I was there for about a year, year and a half. And then I had some mental health issues and almost got kicked out of the Navy. I posted about that. Yes, yes. Had a nervous breakdown in Iceland. And so they flew me back near to Great Lakes actually, because they thought they were going to process me out of the Navy. And so I was supposed to get kicked out of the military. And so they sent me there to process out. And I decided to fight my med board and stay in the military. So I spent a year, almost a year there dealing with mental health and medical people and figuring out the ins and outs of what diagnosis you can have and stay in the military, which ones you can't. It was a very interesting process.

Wow, that is quite fascinating because I got in as an E-1 too, and after boot camp at Great Lakes, I was a seaman. I mean, it took forever for me to become a petty officer, third class, and then I had a chance to become a Joint Commission, uh, officer. Fascinating. And then myself too, in 2017 it was, I almost got kicked out for medical reason as well, and I had to fight the medical board too. And during that time they wouldn't allow me to, to work, and I really felt like something was missing in my life, no, not, not being able to, uh, to drill and put on my uniform. Yeah, it took almost a year, a year and a half, and then they allowed me to come back in.

Congratulations!

Thank you. Yeah, it is, it is pretty, uh, uh, interesting how it works. At least from, for my case, I think they said if I had had at least, uh, 14 years of service at the time, but I only had like 13, they would allow me to be medically retired. But I'm like, no, no, I don't want retirement right now. I still have a lot of fighting in me. I definitely want, uh, to, uh, to, uh, to stay. Which is very amazing to me, right? Because the military in America is 100% voluntary. Nobody forces us to join. It's people who hear the call and they answer and they want to do something for their country. Now, they don't get paid very well, at least compared to the industry, and they have a pretty good chance, you know, of not making it alive if they go to combat. But still, people are volunteering and doing so, and I'm just amazed Uh, kind of what, what, what has been your experience with the caliber of some people you've worked, worked with throughout your entire career, enlisted and officer?

Oh, I've had amazing leaders. I've had people that were so inspirational, and they made me into the person that I am today, and they kept me hungry and wanting more and believing in myself in a way that I think when I joined, I just didn't have that faith in myself. Now, with that stated, the military is, is no different than any corporation or nonprofit. There, there are unfortunately people who slide by and get through the system, uh, and, and don't necessarily have the best of intentions. Um, but I do find that as you get more senior, there's less and less of those people who, who rise to the top. Now, sometimes they still squeak by and, and they're not held accountable And that's unfortunate, but I think that in overall, we have amazing leaders in the military and the level of discipline that you have to have to stick with this and to last and to be successful makes it so that the people that are not so great tend to fall off in the more junior pay grades. But like you, having been in those enlisted pay grades very early on, when people aren't weeded out, you learn how to, work with just about any type of person and how to understand humans on a behavioral level so that you're equipped to interact with, with everyone. Because leadership is so much of a psychology sport than it is even just telling people what to do and getting the mission done. You really have to understand people and how to work with any type of people and understand what drives people, because what drives one person isn't going to drive somebody else. And so once you can tap into that just by listening and honing in on what that person does best and what their superpower is, you'll be a successful leader. But that takes time. And again, I've had a lot of mentors who've helped me with that.

Yeah, I mean, that is so great what you said about leadership. This is really what this show is all about. I guess it's not quite a science yet, but I guess it is an art, right? One of my mentors kind of explained it to me like, you know, with management you can pretty much get people theoretically to work up to 100% of their potential, whatever they can do. Generally speaking, I think most people only work like 25, maybe 40%, and they don't really do all of the work they are supposed to do. So with a great manager, they can theoretically get you up to 100%, but leadership goes above and beyond that. You could actually go 110, 120% as a team, accomplish so much more with a synergy, having people who are motivated internally, like they want to do something for the organization and for their leader and go above and beyond what is even humanly possible. And only leadership can do that. And I've already seen in my career in the Navy, that's pretty much what the Navy is all about from now, from E-1 to, I guess, uh, O-10. Every rank I have, I have been, it's all about accomplishing the mission but taking care of your people, knowing them and inspiring them. And like I said earlier, uh, if you compare the salaries, what we do in the military, what people make in Silicon Valley, I mean, there's a huge, huge, huge, huge gap. But people are still willing to go there and work for an idea that is much, much greater than, uh, themselves. And, and like you say, unfortunately there are a few people, uh, I think who get in and get promoted who really do not belong. But eventually I think the Navy has a way to to weed them out. But let's go back to something you said, because I'm going to be talking about persistence after this visual. I feel like persistence is a great characteristic of a leader, right? Never taking no for an answer or is easily giving up. In your experience, what you went through in medical board, you're like, no, no, I'm not coming out of this Navy. I belong here. I'm going to persist. Making it all the way up to Commander. Can you tell us a little bit about that and some of the characteristics great leaders should, should have or learn?

Um, I, I think it's a lot of understanding what your endgame is— the endgame of the organization or the endgame for you professionally. And so when you understand that and those things, those two things do align, then you still have a seat at the table and a place in the organization. And so that's first and foremost, is that do, do my, do my personal goal, career goals line up with the goals and the, and the mission of the organization? And if the answer to that is yes, then you can be bought into the mission. Sometimes I think a lot of people get discouraged because the leaders don't clearly articulate what the mission is, or they don't get people rallied up or get them inspired to want to carry out the mission. Because the best leader is not the leader that you're afraid of, or that you know that there'll be repercussions if you don't do the work. The best leaders are the people that you think you'll disappoint if you don't do the work to the best of your ability. And so I've always strived to be that person that believed in people and that they didn't want to disappoint me because I was so inspired by the mission. So, when I get inspired by the command's mission, I'll do whatever it takes to get the job done. And so, for me, it's telling the Navy story. And there's so many awesome, amazing people and missions that we do in the military. And so, when I've had the opportunity to tell that story, I just get so invested in it. I get invested in the facts of the mission. I get invested in the emotional journey of the mission. And so, if people can see that I'm invested as a leader and that I'm all in on the mission, then they don't want to disappoint me. And so, I think that's what people have to do to become resilient is that they have to understand who they are. And if who they are lines up with the organization that they're working for, then they're in the right place. But if it doesn't, if the organization that they're with isn't lining up with their values, they have to figure that out and get another plan, whether that be switching jobs in the military, which I did 3 times, whether that be leaving a command early because another mission that's more— that may become more fulfilling is on the radar. That's happening to me right now. I'm going to England next year. For a NATO job.

Congratulations.

Thank you. But it's going to be so exciting because like, I've never worked with NATO. I don't know what it's like to work with 30 maritime nations and do Navy exercises. And so it's going to be a new experience that I haven't had before. And so I just hope that that enthusiasm and that passion will inspire my team. I already know who my deputy is going to be. She is an old friend that I go way back with. And so I'm super stoked that the Navy continues to give me these awesome opportunities. And then that's how I push through, is I'm very intentional about the jobs that I pick, about the ways I spend my time, and about the ways in which I go about getting the mission accomplished.

Wow. This is, this is really, really, really great because Another thing you said I think I find fascinating is becoming a motivational or inspirational leader. More and more I see that in Vanadium. When I first got in, I think the first bosses I had, many of them were kind of like positional leader, like say so because, you do it because I said so, because I'm your boss. Exactly. Yes. And that kind of work, but I think it's kind of short-lived. People are going to do it because they don't want to get fired. They want to stay with a program, but they're not really doing it out of the abundance of their heart, right? But I've seen so many leaders in the Navy that you are just willing to follow until the end of the Earth because they have that inspiration and they take time to actually get to know you, what motivates you, and kind of bring you along with them. Having talked about this, I know you do a lot of mentoring as well. And how much do you enjoy mentoring others, especially women in the military, helping them achieve their highest potential?

So I started with a nonprofit called Sea Services Leadership Association, and they every year they do a conference. In fact, it's going to be this year in Norfolk. I believe it's mid-July. It's called the Joint Women's Leadership Symposium. And I've been involved with SSLA, Sea Services Leadership Association, since 2013. And I am still to this day friends with people that I worked with on the symposium back then. I am no longer on their board, but even this year I'm working with them to try to possibly put together a panel that I think would do really well there. And it gave me this opportunity to mentor other female leaders. It gave me an opportunity to be mentored myself, and it exposed me to so many things. It was such an— it was, it was part of the catalyst for my podcast because I was coordinating webinars through SSLA because we had to go virtual because of COVID And so I saw that I could do these kinds of interviews and these kinds of sessions with people. And it's just been an amazing opportunity because The problem with the military, even to this day, especially for women, is that there are not enough women flag and general officers. And so if I don't see what I want to become one day, then it's hard for me to imagine that that's an avenue for me. And I will tell you, it's nothing against men because I am definitely like not an anti-man person, but I do find that women tend to be sometimes more collaborative, and they sometimes are able to seek compromise on an issue a little bit more easily. And so I believe, just like I believe in diversity at the top, a diversity of ideas, diversity of races, I believe there's got to be diversity of genders, because the best ideas come to the top when different perspectives are weighing in on an issue. It's the whole reason why in legislation, you have public comment and things like that because it's not just my opinion that should be the one that carries the day. It's got to be a collective. And that's what's amazing about living in a democracy. So I feel that having those opportunities with SSLA to lead became a launching point for me to continue to lead and mentor. I run a mentoring group for the Navy public affairs community. I co-lead it with a friend of mine and I love it. I mean, it's a, we do these webinars and we talk about public affairs and it's just fun. Like if there's something that I'm super fascinated about, like right now I'm on this like kick about information operations and other things. And so I'm like, hmm, who do I get to come on the webinar who's maybe written a paper about operations in the information environment and who can talk about some of the issues about IO versus MISO, military information support operations. And I just, I just nerd out on that stuff. I think it's so interesting. And so I think that that's the best part about mentoring is that you get this opportunity to network and meet amazing people who might even have better ideas than you do. And then you learn from them and they learn from you.

Wow, it's really amazing and fascinating to see your, your journey kind of starting in the Navy and becoming not only a leader but really a leader of leaders. And I think a great responsibility we have is to really give back to the community. You're already doing tremendous work with all of these women and mentoring and so forth, but I must tell you, some of the very, very best officers, commanding officers I've ever had, have been females for some for some reason. It's, I don't know, again, nothing against men, but sometimes I feel like there are too many alpha males in the service.

There's just too much.

Yeah, too much ego at times. We know you are already good, you are here, you don't have to prove anything.

Exactly.

Yeah, most of the female I've worked with, they just kind of focus on the mission. This is what needs to get done. And also, I think another side of leadership, you can talk about this, I think is developing emotional intelligence, right? Not just having IQ, but being able to work with people and empathize with them and kind of get everybody to contribute toward the mission and having everybody feel like they are supported and really seen and heard by management. Again, the most time I've seen it happen has been with female leaders, not, not men. Can you just tell us more about that?

Well, a mentor of mine is Kate Germaino. She wrote the book called Fight Like a Girl. So she was, and her story is very, very unique. She was in charge of the Marine Corps recruiting command and ended up going through a very public firing over her leadership. And instead of just wallowing away and feeling sorry for herself and never moving on, She founded a leadership coaching organization called Cassandra Helenus Partners, and now her husband, Joe Pletzer— I had him on my podcast— he's a part of it. And they just— oh my gosh, I learned so much from their posts on LinkedIn and just becoming friends with them these last 3 years. And she is the epitome to me of an informed leader and a humble leader who has moved beyond, you know, what could have been a really bad experience and decided to turn it around and make it into something positive. And so, I, and I'll be honest with you, I haven't had any leaders that were female that I worked directly for day in and day out that I respected. I've only had one female leader when I was enlisted. Everybody else has been male. And I don't want that to be the same outcome for the women who are coming behind me. Like, I want them to see leaders like myself who are open about their mental health struggles, who are not perfect. Um, you know, one of my weaknesses is attention to detail, and we, uh, stress that so much in the military— attention to detail, attention to detail— and I have to be very good about that. Or like my boss told me, surround myself with people who are good at that skill, because I tend to be kind of a big picture person, and I'm all over the place, and I've got all these ideas, and so sometimes I miss critical details. And so, you have to learn how to compensate for your weaknesses and be open about your weaknesses to people. Because I think that humanizes you. And then, your people respect you because you're human. And then, they are feeling safe sharing their weaknesses with you as well. And it just helps enable that vulnerability that has to happen in leadership because the best leaders are leaders who are not afraid to be vulnerable.

Wow, that is so fascinating because I think part of emotional intelligence is not just being aware of your surroundings, the people around you, but also being self-aware, right, of yourself, what you can, cannot do, what your competencies are, and then who you need on the team to kind of complement you so that you can be effective. That is fantastic. We are already running out of time, but I don't want to go without asking you one more question about your advocacy. So how did your love of the unboxed dog breed ignited passion around animal advocacy?

So back in 2008, I moved. I was living in Hawaii and I, uh, my ex-husband got a boxer dog and I just wanted to network with other people that had boxer dogs and were as crazy about their dog as I was. So I found a local dog club and it turns out they were thinking about shutting the club down. So I, along with my husband at the time, we reinvigorated the Boxer Dog Club. And by doing that, I got into showing my Boxer. So I started doing dog shows. And so dog shows led to learning about all these issues with dog breeding and puppy mills and pet stores that sell dogs from puppy mills. And I had no idea about any of this stuff. And so it was just fascinating. And so I got super into it, as I always do, because I go down these, like, research rabbit holes. And so I started doing protests outside pet stores, and I learned a lot. I mean, at first I was just like very outspoken, and I didn't have the communication skills that I have now. And I got myself in a little bit of trouble with this pet store owner who claimed some very false things that I was not doing. But it taught me a lot. Yes, yes, he was not happy with what I was doing, and he wrote my chain of command a nasty gram. And, uh, that was okay. I ended up having to shut down my blog and I wasn't allowed to protest for a little while, but now I understand how to do this properly and how to— and I was never attacking him by name or any of that, but I understand now how to kind of keep myself, uh, under the radar a little bit when it comes to some of these causes. Um, and so in general, what I try to do now, especially with my podcast, is bring on people who are in the animal welfare world who exemplify some of the values that I consider dear, like Carol Baskin. Everybody gave her crap about that Tiger King documentary, but nobody understands the truth of what really happened with that documentary and the way that she was smeared. And so I was so honored that she was willing to talk to me. I got to talk to my old mentor who taught me everything there is to know about legislation, about testifying on animal protection bills. I mean, her and I were like attached at the hip in Hawaii, and we would go to this legislature in the Capitol, and we would meet all these, uh, you know, uh, representatives. It was such an amazing experience, and I hope to have more advocates on, on the podcast. But I tried— my podcast is about leadership, it's about animals because I love animals, it's about, um, women and, and mentoring. It's, it's about so many things, and I'm not going to niche into one box. So I try very hard with my lineup— I've only had 22 guests so far— to make sure that I get people from all walks of life, because I don't want it to be just a military podcast. I don't want to be just an animal podcast. I don't want to be just a woman podcast. So, but I love it. It's, it's an amazing experience.

Yes. And, and I really enjoy— I think the very first one you, you did, you were with your father, um, He has a pretty fascinating story himself. One thing I really love about the military, your podcast, Story of Service, right? And one thing about the Navy, we honor courage and commitment, but we are also committed to our local community. We even have a medal we give out to service members for volunteering, which is pretty amazing, really making a difference in your own community. I really love what you are doing with your advocacy there with the doctor, and I understand you are about to change some laws in about 3 Free States, right? If everything—

Oh, I already did. I was already a part of those causes. So yes, I, I worked on advocacy laws, uh, on pet store bills, basically bills that would ban the sale of puppies, uh, from commercial breeders at pet stores. Now that is the back end of the problem, don't get me wrong. The front end of the problem is to have the United States Department of Agriculture properly regulate high-volume breeders. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened yet. Instead, they're doing these things called teachable moments where they don't even document things in the USDA reports, or they show up with, you know, announced inspections. And so sadly, these animals are still suffering. There's still puppy mill busts all over the country where, you know, local authorities have to come in and they find these animals in just awful conditions. And it's, it's why you should never buy a pet from a pet store. And it's why long term what we really need to do for dogs is to regulate breeding. And I know that's a big controversial thing with the hobby breeders because they don't want to be regulated because they're just mom-and-pop places that are just putting a few dogs in dog shows. But it's really what needs to happen in order to protect animals, uh, at the front end of the supply chain, not at the back end at the pet store. So it's something I hope to see in the future. But there's a lot of amazing people involved in this cause, from the Humane Society of the United States to Bailing Out Benji to the Companion Animal Protection Society to Best Friends. So there's a lot of great groups that are working these issues, and I have contacts with most every group, and I continue to try to do what I can where I can to help on that issue. But again, it's kind of taking a backseat right now because I've got my shoulder and I've got my job and I've got England and, and so, and podcasting.

So you are super welcome. It's incredible all of the work you are doing and really, really making a difference. Now, Commander, we are on top of the hour. You only promised me 1 hour. Can we go a little bit further?

We can go over because I know we started late.

Yes. So I do have my 7 favorite questions I need to ask you. Number 1, what is the greatest lesson you have learned? In your career so far?

That's a great question.

And what do you think is the secret of your success?

I think the greatest lesson that I have learned is how to be myself. So there was a lot of years that I dealt with bullying, or I dealt with, you know, not feeling comfortable in my own skin. Once I embraced who I was and really deepened into loving myself, I felt like nothing was out of reach. And I still carry that to this day. So that's your, your first question. What was your second question?

Yes, uh, what is the secret of your success?

Um, I think the secret of my success is that I always have something to work on. I'm always thinking ahead, and I don't try to accomplish things 100 steps ahead. I try to just do incremental baby steps to work towards something, but I have an endgame. I know what I'm doing. I'm very intentional, and I just try to make small inroads. You know, and sometimes I'm also realistic and sometimes my battles are not won and there are things I lose on all the time, but I don't give up and I try to find another way around it and I try to just focus on what I can do and have gratitude for that.

Wow, that is, that is wonderful. Persistence and gratitude. So what is the greatest leadership advice you have ever received?

The greatest? I'll probably think of some sort of leadership advice.

That I've received. Maybe most impactful.

Yes. I think one of the greatest ones I received was during my second podcast with an artist, skateboarder, painter. Her name is Jenny Harmon, and she has coined for her word that describes her is unapologetic. And I just loved it. Like, it really resonated with me. When she talked about it, because unapologetic means you don't apologize for being you and going after what you want. And it has just made it so much better for me. And I can recognize when someone is being a hater and a bully now, and I know that it's not me, it's them. Sometimes people don't see through them, and sometimes they only treat me that way for some reason. But I understand that it's not my problem. And so I just have to learn how to respectfully, politely deal with them. And I know they're not going to go away because as my last podcast, Barbie the Welder said, when haters show up, that means you're doing something right. And so I got haters. And so that's okay. I don't let them get me down. I talk about them because I think that anybody who's becoming successful or is successful has them. And everyone— I mean, it's really interesting. Easy. I'll say this very quickly, but even the most famous people, have— are the most successful people have so many insecurities. We all do. And it's tough. It's really tough to get past the haters, but you have to in order to succeed and move forward.

Wow. That is, that is great, great leadership advice. Thank you so much. So question number 2, what are you learning now?

I think the thing that I'm learning now is more or less to have patience with myself and to have grace. Like this shoulder thing. I like, as soon as we get off the call here, I'm going to have to go ice for another hour or so after I eat lunch. And it's just one of those things where I tend to want to do a million things and I have to take things slow and I have to do the work and learn the technical stuff too. Like podcasting, there's so much technical stuff to it to do it right, to get the sound right, to get the camera right, to get the right accounts. And I'm doing, I'm a one-woman show. I'm doing all this myself. I'm not making any money off of any of this. So I'm not going to hire help at this point, and I don't want help, to be honest. I mean, I want help and free help, but— and I wouldn't mind taking on an intern or somebody that gets college credit or something to help me, but I'm not going to pay anyone for something that's not making me any money at this time, and it's just a passion project. So I think the lesson that I'm learning is I got to just slowly build my expertise, and it's going to take a while, but I believe in what I'm doing, and I think this is something— I see the potential in it, and I think it's something I can do well past my time in the service.

Yeah, that is, that is for sure. I know you are affecting a lot of people. And again, everyone, I'm encouraging everybody to please subscribe to our podcast Stories of Service on Apple Podcast. So, uh, what do you think is the greatest investment you have made in yourself?

So far, I think that it's to take care of myself. Uh, there's a lot of people who would not have gotten my shoulder surgery. For an example, my pain was probably about a 5 or 6 out of a 1 to 10, so I probably could have kept putting up with it. Um, but as I age, I think that the greatest thing that you can do for yourself is to pay attention to your body, pay attention to your health, um, invest in things that not only better you but better other people. And the things that you're investing in within yourself should have the goal to help others. I don't care if you're like a marathon runner. Yes, you're doing that marathon for yourself, but then broadcast your journey and share how you did it so that you can inspire others to do the same thing. And that's why storytelling is so important. And I use storytelling as a way to democratize everyone because we all have a voice and we all can use it. And storytelling allows us to do that and social media allows us to do that. So I think everybody should take what they're doing and use that to help others and to share their stories.

Wow. Well said. And question number 3: How has failure shaped your life?

I think failure is our greatest teacher. And I think that in the moment you don't see failure as a good thing. But looking back on it, every time I've had a major setback, I stopped doing a certain behavior or I approached a situation differently. And the new way that I approached that situation based on that failure was what ultimately led me to succeed. So I think that we need failure. We need to screw up. We need to keep trying. I mean, gosh, you look at those like super ultra people like Tiger Woods. How many times did he fail? I mean, as a kid and his dad just harped on him, harped on him, harped on him. I mean, he wouldn't have become Tiger Woods if he hadn't failed a million times and all the pain he went through with all his physical pain, and he still kept playing golf. I don't think that we all have to be Tiger Woods, and I'm not advocating to be that because sometimes I think the hustle culture is not necessarily a good thing. Uh, so I'm not saying that we all have to be like Tiger Woods. If we, if we want that level of success, maybe that we need to, but I'm not searching for that level of success. I'm searching to just inspire the people around me and to make a difference where I can with what I have. And, and, and, but at the same time, I'm not going to deplete myself and kill myself doing it.

Good advice. And you've already mentioned a few of your mentors, or at least people who have deeply affected your life. But question number 4: who do you know which we should know? Who are your mentors, thought leaders you are following?

So this is going to sound weird, but I've been going down another research rabbit hole on Madonna. She was my childhood idol, and I know she's controversial and she does a lot of shock stuff, but oh my God, she's so bold and she's got a work ethic that just doesn't stop. So the other night I just watched her Billboard, uh, 2014 Woman of the Year, uh, or '16, I think. And it was so inspiring. And I mean, she's just fought back and she's still at it. She's 62 years old and she's still making music and she's still making art. And it's just, oh my God, I just, I love her. And I like grew up like obsessed with her music and her image and everything. And so it's been fun while I'm recovering from surgery to kind of watch a lot of her old interviews and videos. So I'd say she definitely inspired me. Another person who inspires me is Jordan Peterson. He wrote The 12 Rules of Life, and he's very into personal accountability. He often gets painted politically, and I don't think he's political in my mind. I think he's just about being a good human. His daughter is amazing as well. I'm also a huge fan of, of Joe Rogan, um, and I wish he'd have more women on the show. He doesn't have a lot of women on his show, but That's okay. I still really like him. He's hilarious. And he had Jocko on the other day and I just loved their conversation.

Yes.

So I would say that those kinds of people are sort of my famous mentors. As far as my personal mentors, Nancy Harrity comes to mind. She's a very good friend of mine and we go back years and years and years, and I can always go to her when I'm having an issue. My friend Rosie, she was the one who did my, administered my oath for my commander ceremony. She's amazing. I have a lot of friends right now. I have a great support network. My husband is also one of my mentors. He's so inspiring. He works so hard and he's got such a great attitude about life and he has made me who I am today. So he's another one.

Wow, that is wonderful. So if you could choose 3 people to have dinner with, who would you choose and why? And they don't have to be alive. They could be from history as well.

That's a great question as well. Um, Madonna, absolutely. I would just love to pick her brain and ask her a bunch of questions. Um, and I hate to just repeat the same people, but Jordan Peterson would probably be my number 2 because I just— I, I'm so— oh, and, uh, Robert Greene. He, uh, wrote The Laws of Power and he's written a bunch of others, uh, The Power of Seduction and, uh I actually have been in touch with his assistant, so fingers crossed I might be able to get him on my podcast. He's freaking huge, bestseller guy, been around forever. But oh my God, I would read his books religiously while I was on deployment, and it would teach me so much about people. I mean, he wrote The 48 Laws of Power, he wrote The Power of Seduction, he wrote a book called Mastery. Um, he just taught me so much about how to succeed and who succeeds and why. And so, uh, I highly recommend him. And I would just love to have— but see, that's the great part about having a podcast, Bizzy, is that I can at least try to pitch interviews with some of these people. I don't know if I'll ever have Madonna on or Jordan Peterson, but we'll see.

Maybe we can make that happen. Which is a good segue to the next question, number 5: what have you read that we should read? Um, what is some of the best book you've read recently?

Um, so I would say I, I want to give a plug here. Let me very carefully grab this with my arm. Barbie the Welder. I have her book right here. I don't want to read it all. I don't want to read it out loud, but it's so good. She is just amazing. And this book sort of is just very simple. It's self-published, it's short, and she just— oh man, that lady just inspires me. She just kicks butt and takes names. So I would say get her book. I won't say it out loud on the air because I don't know if I can cuss on StreamYard.

But we are going to add a link in the comments so people can participate and support her. That is wonderful.

BarbieTheWelder.com. Yes. I would say her book. Then again, some of these questions are sort of repetitive because I have sort of the same people. But I would say 48 Laws of Power. Is really good, but Mastery is probably my favorite of his books.

That's by Robert Greene, right?

Yeah, Robert Greene is another, and then of course Jordan Peterson would probably be my number 3. Those guys, I mean, I can just listen, and then Michaela Peterson is Jordan's daughter, and she has a lot of good podcasts out there as well. So I find myself routinely going back to their work. Same with Jocko. I don't know, I'm sure Jocko has a book. But Jocko is the guy that made SEAL—

I think he has two books.

Yeah, Extreme Ownership.

Yes.

I haven't read it yet, but I definitely need to read it. But I already believe in extreme ownership and not being a victim and all those things. So yes.

Yeah, but it's kind of amazing. And quite a few people have done that. But what you— the leadership principle you learn in the military, how you can apply them in the industry, in corporate America, and be successful as well. Look at business almost like warfare. It's really interesting how those same skills are very much applicable in real life, right?

Oh yeah, absolutely. And that's why the really good leaders in the military, like General McChrystal, they can get out and they can start these leadership consulting firms. I think that's what Jaco has as well. And they can do so well because they can take the lessons that they learned in the military and they can use that to help people in the corporate world. I mean, that's what my buddies Joe and Kate are doing. They're just taking the lessons that they learned in the military and they're— and through their coaching courses and everything else they do. And Joe's like big into brain science and neuropsychology and his, his, his, his posts are just great because I just learn a lot by, by talking to them. And I'm a lifelong learner. Like, I'll be in my 80s researching something, going down some—

my guest today was the phenomenal leader, Commander Theresa Carpenter, US Navy, active duty. And, uh, we've had a few technical challenges. I'm trying to record this podcast from the road, but the very, very last question I was going to ask her is, how can we add value to you? And the way I want all of the listeners out there to really add value to Teresa is to follow her on LinkedIn first and foremost, and I'm going to be adding the links in the comments for this podcast, but also follow her on Becomes.page. She has links to all of her social media presence, Instagram, LinkedIn, Spotify, YouTube, Venmo, and you can contact her on this page as well. And also please go ahead and subscribe to our podcast on the Apple Podcast. Stories of Service: Ordinary People Who Do Extraordinary Work. Uh, please, uh, follow her, subscribe to her podcast, rate her, please, 5 out of 5, and, uh, also leave a, uh, uh, review. And I really, uh, appreciate all of you. Thank you, thank you so much.

Thank you for listening to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach BZ. If you like what you heard, please subscribe to our channels and come back for more wisdom nuggets on how you may develop into a better leader and achieve greater levels of success. Leadership is the most critical skill. The world will always need leaders to lead others, deploy the next disruptive technology, or execute a business strategy. You may as well decide on counting yourself among the 21st century leaders. See you right here next time on the Leadership and Success Podcast with Coach BZ.