S31:E17🎙️ LIVE AWLL From Proverbs — Chapter 17

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All right everyone, welcome to another special edition of the Leadership and Success Podcast. Today we're going to be talking about ancient wisdom and being mentored from the Book of Proverbs. So we're focusing on ancient wisdom and leadership lesson from Proverbs chapter 17 today. Again, this is not a religious podcast, but we are going back to ancient Wisdom, ancient scripture from more than 2,000 years ago, and seeing how those leadership lessons still apply today in the 21st century, uh, January 17, 2026. All right, before we start, as is our custom, uh, we are going to be grateful for something. We do that every single time we meet because in the military it's about 21 service members who commit suicide every single day. And I believe it's impossible to be suicidal and be grateful at the very same time. So if you would maybe close your eyes and put yourself in your happy place, maybe take a deep breath and think about what are you grateful for right now. I think today I am grateful for all of the resources and medical breakthroughs for taking care of our mental health. I think everybody, especially those who are in the military, they understand that when you are physically injured, it's perfectly normal to seek medical help. But I think if you are emotionally injured, it's important to get emotional help as well. So there should be no stigma for mental health, whether it's anxiety, depression, or even feelings of suicide at worst, or you feel like there is nothing you can do completely helpless or post-traumatic stress disorder or injury. It's okay to seek for help and there is so much out there to help you, especially in the USA. And there is no shame to saying, hey, I need help today, especially for those who work in high-pressure environment like in the military, but in the industry as well. It's okay to be a man and to seek for help. So, so far on this Leadership and Success podcast, we've had our Mental Day. We had spoken to one, two experts in the field. I think it was a couple of months ago. And then we also had Dr. Shawna Springer, who is an expert, and she talked to us about really mental warfare and emotional health. And again, go back and watch those episodes. But I want to encourage you again to seek help whenever you need it. Your life matters and you are important to someone. All right, so today we're going to go through Proverbs chapter 17. Before we do, let's do a quick review, everything we've learned from Proverbs chapter 1 through Proverbs chapter 16, which is what we did yesterday. So I'm going to be asking the Ron Carpenter AI twin to, uh, get us through the review.

Hi, this is Pastor Ron Carpenter. How can I help? All right, listen closely. Proverbs chapter 1 is all about the beginning of wisdom, and that start is the fear of the Lord. It's about getting wisdom, getting instruction, and the spirit of wisdom and revelation so you can see life clearly and make choices that don't mess you up. The whole thing points to the fact that wisdom is isn't just a heart posture, a way of living that sets you apart. That's the big idea right there. Chapter 2 picks up from that foundation in Chapter 1 and digs into why wisdom is like your best friend, your protector. It shows how wisdom saves you from the fools and the— you see, it's about hearing God's voice early before trouble hits so you can live long, peaceful days. The fear of the Lord keeps you safe and gives Avoid all kinds of foolishness. That's the big deal there. All right, chapter 3 is like wisdom's personal invitation. It tells us to trust the Lord with all our heart and not our own understanding. Come on, that's powerful. When you do that, he'll make your path straight, guiding you through life with success and peace. It's about leaning in, not just knowing God's favor daily. That's a dang good life lesson right there. All right, chapter 4 is like the pep talk from your wise, loving dad telling you to grab hold of wisdom and never forget about guarding your heart, because everything you do flows from it, and you gotta stay clear of folly that leads to destruction. It's a strong— and companion and your priority, period. That's the heart of it. All right, chapter 5 is a warning about the dangers of temptation, especially the seductive traps that can wreck your life and your future. It's got rules about staying faithful and wise, not falling for foolish shortcuts or lies that seem sweet and bitter. The message is, keep your eyes locked on what's righteous and don't let yourself get fooled. That's the big point right there. Alright, Proverbs chapter 6 is packed with tough love. It warns about foolish promises, laziness, and how God hates those who— among brothers. But the star of the show is that little ant, man. That ant shows us what diligence and foresight look like. Working steady, and preparing ahead. That's the kind of wisdom God wants us to get—practical, real, and hard-earned. Alright, Chapter 7 is like this desperate shout from wisdom warning you about getting caught up in temptation, especially that sneaky kind that looks good but wrecks your life. Wisdom screaming for you to wake up, guard your heart, and choose the right way before it's too late. That's the big idea right there. Chapter 8 is wisdom personified, like a woman calling out in the streets, inviting folks to live life the right way. It's about how wisdom Wisdom was with God before creation, showing wisdom is divine order and foundation for everything. The big idea: listen to wisdom's call, and you'll walk in safety and honor. Chapter 9, wisdom's knocking on the door, y'all. It's calling us to come on in, choose life, and leave the life of fools behind. Wisdom promises us blessings and safety if we listen. It's an invitation, plain and simple. Alright now, Chapter 10 is like a packed toolbox of wisdom. Short, punchy sayings that show you why wise choices make life better and foolish ones mess it up. It covers everything from how your words can heal or hurt to hard work versus laziness and honesty and integrity. Bottom line, every choice matters, and your life reflects what you plant with your decisions. Chapter 11 is all about the contrast between righteousness and wickedness showing up in blessings and consequences. It's like a mirror. You can see how being honest and— while deceit and pride lead to trouble. That's the heart of it. All right, Chapter 12 gets into how your choices about speech, work, and integrity shape your life. It shows that a rich person's— bring life, but fools just shoot off their mouths and cause trouble. It's a reminder that wisdom shows up in everyday actions and habits, not just fancy theory. All right, Chapter 13 is wisdom and discipline bring life and blessings, while foolishness brings destruction. It reminds us that what we say and do shapes our future, so choosing the right path matters big time. It's like planting a garden—you reap what you sow, no doubt. Alright, after Chapter 14 in Proverbs, you keep seeing that pattern: wisdom brings life and blessings, but foolishness brings trouble. The chapters that follow keep hammering home practical guidance on how your choices, your words, and your heart posture set you up for success or disaster.— or pain. It's like every chapter layers on that reality until it sticks. That's the big picture as you move past 14. Okay, Proverbs 15 is all about how your words show your heart and how the wise handle correction with calm and peace while fools stir up trouble. It's reminding us that a gentle answer can defuse conflict and that fear of the Lord leads to life. That's the heart of chapter 15. Chapter 16 is all about trusting God. Let me tell you, that's some of the hardest stuff to do. It reminds us that our steps are ordered by the Lord, but we still make choices, and those choices help. So the takeaway: lean on God, but remember, your decisions count too.

All right, your decision counts too. So let's do a quick review of, uh, the 7 lessons I, uh, shared yesterday for Chapter 16. All right, the big lesson here, um, lesson number 1 was, uh, motives matter more than method, and that was based on verses 2 and 3. Motives matter more than methods. Leaders are often evaluated by outcomes, but character is evaluated by intent. Why did you want to do what you did? Pure-looking actions can still be driven by ego, fear, or control. Sustainable leadership begins with surrendered motives. So lesson number 2, yesterday we talked about sovereignty brings stability. It was based on verse 9. Strategic planning is wise, but believing we control outcome is dangerous. Or it can be, uh, mature leaders plan diligently while holding outcomes loosely. Okay, lesson number 3, uh, yesterday we talked about integrity being a leader's currency based on verses 8 and 11. So short-term wins achieved through compromised ethics always extract long-term cost. Integrity builds trust, the most valuable leadership asset being trust. Okay, lesson number 4, pride is the silent threat. So, uh, pride rarely announces itself. It grows quietly through success, praise, and unchecked authority. Leaders fall not from weakness but from self-exaltation. Lesson number 5: Influence flows from character, based on verses 21 and 23. Leadership influence isn't about charisma alone, but it's about wisdom, Express through disciplined speech. And, uh, we had lesson number 6, uh, Discipline Shapes Destiny, based on verse 32. Self-mastery will outperform all power. Leaders who cannot govern themselves will eventually misgovern others. And finally, yesterday we talked about lesson 7, Leadership Lesson Number 7, Legacy Is Built Through Righteous Living. That was based on verse 31. So leadership is not just about performance, but it's also about who you become over time. Legacy will outlive your position. All right, so that's what we studied yesterday, Proverbs chapter 16. Again, you can go back through whatever your favorite podcast platform is, whether it's Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart, or whatever you like, including LinkedIn and YouTube. You're going to be able to listen to those lessons, chapters 1 through 16. All right, so today we're going to start with chapter 17. So what's the big idea? Well, Proverbs chapter 17 really teaches us that leaders, uh, that, uh, character will outweigh comfort, wisdom will outweigh wealth, and restraint will outweigh reaction. So this chapter highlights how peace, integrity, discernment, and loyalty shape a leader's credibility over time. So leadership, according to Proverbs chapter 17, is not proven by status or success, but by how one handles conflict, conversation, correction, and relationships, especially under pressure. So the theme for this chapter is wise leadership is revealed through restraint, Integrity and relational stewardship. All right, our first lesson for today, lesson leadership, lesson number 1: Peace is a strategic advantage. So let's start with verse 1. Peace is a strategic advantage. Let me share my screen. This is a strategic advantage. All right.

Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting with strife.

Better is a dry morsel with quietness. Wow, that is something. All right. Peace is a strategic advantage. You'd rather have peace than anything else, almost at any cost. Noise, drama, and constant conflict will drain organizational energy. Wise leaders value peace over prestige. And stability over spectacle. So how do we apply this? Choose environment, decision, and conversation that preserve unity, peace, even if it means sacrificing short-term comfort or applause. So where are you tolerating unnecessary conflict for the sake of ego or image? Yesterday I talked to Dr. Lee Bokum. He's a marriage coach. And we talked about within the relationship of a marriage, uh, sometimes when you have a conflict, you just want to be right. But by wanting to be right, you are not going to have peace in your relationship. So sometimes you have to ask yourself, do you want to be happy or do you want to be right? And I think that kind of works the same within an organization as well, an enterprise, and relationship with other people. You don't have to be right all the time. It's better for you to have peace than to be right. It is better for you to have peace than to have prestige. So choose peace. So what would it look like to prioritize peace over being right? So the anchor reflection here is true leadership, strength, and strength is often quiet, calm, and conflict aware. So try to avoid conflict whenever you can. Choose peace. Alright, leadership lesson number 2: Character can elevate you beyond your title. Let's listen to verse number 2.

"A wise servant will rule over a son who causes shame and will share an inheritance among the brothers." A wise servant.

So competence, Wisdom, integrity will often outperform entitlement. Leadership influence is earned through trust, not inherited through position. So invest daily in discipline and excellence. Your character may open doors that rank never could. So how are you learning trust beyond your formal role? Are you leading with humility or entitlement? Do people want to work with you? Do you add value to the people you work with, to your organization? Are you faithful? Are you trustworthy? So the anchor reflection here is leadership authority will grow from character long before it comes with a title. And you don't have to have a title to be a leader. You don't have to be a director, a vice president, or a president, or CEO. The title doesn't really confer you leadership. I guess you could say it's positional leadership, but that's the lowest, lowest form of leadership. What you want is to have people be influenced by you, follow you because of who you are, because of your character, because of the value you bring. To the organization with or without a title. Alright, lesson number 3: Words reveal the heart of the leader.

Let's read verse 3: The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the hearts.

So your words will reveal the heart of the leader. Pressure exposes inner character, and how leaders speak and act under stress will reveal their true maturity. It is so easy to lead when everything goes the way you want, but when you are under pressure, that's really when your character will be revealed. So how do we apply this principle? Develop emotional regulation and self-awareness. Before pressure tests you publicly. So emotional intelligence is very important, being aware of yourself and aware of others, aware of yourself and aware of your environment. It's not just your IQ, but it's your EQ also. So what patterns emerge in your words during stress? And how do you prepare your heart before pressure arrives? Anchor Reflection is leadership refinement happens internally before it is recognized externally. And another great quote from Oprah, I believe she got it from her mentor, Maya Angelou, was, "Success is when preparation meets opportunity." So you have to prepare long before the opportunity shows up, because once the opportunity is at hand, it's too late to prepare for that. So that's really wisdom. Refinement needs to happen internally before it is recognized externally. Alright, leadership lesson number 4: Discernment protects credibility. Let's read verse 4.

An evildoer gives heed to false lips; a liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue.

Hmm. Discernment protects credibility. Credibility. So leaders who entertain gossip, falsehood, or half-truths will eventually compromise trust. A lot of these things usually don't happen overnight or right away. It takes time. It takes time to build trust, but it also takes time to erode trust. And once you erode it, it's almost impossible to gain the trust back. So you definitely have to protect your integrity at any cost. So how do you apply this? Be selective about whose voices you amplify and whose narratives you accept. So what voices most influence your thinking right now? Who do you listen to? And are you verifying truth or reacting emotionally? So we talked about this before, but instead of just reacting to whatever stimulus or whatever challenges we are facing, whatever is happening to us, We need to create this space where we can actually think and then respond, not automatically react, emotionally react, but logically think, come up with a plan, and then respond. Listen twice as much as we speak. Like my mother told me, God gave you two ears and one mouth and use those in those proportions. That's leadership and that's wisdom. Okay, so the anchor reflection here is wise leaders filter information before it shapes their decision. So think before you act. All right, lesson number 5: Correction done well preserves relationship. That's based on verse number 9.

He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates.

Friends. Hmm. Cover a transgression, seek love. Wow. Correction done well will preserve relationships. And really, one of the most important things in life is the relationship you have, people you love and who love you back. So healthy leaders know when to correct and when to extend grace. Not every mistake requires public exposure. And if you need to correct someone, it's always best to do it in private, away from the public. But if you need to praise someone, it's always good to do it in public so that everybody knows, and you can give people their flowers while they are alive in the presence of the community, of the people they love and respect. So correct in private, but praise in public. And sometimes you don't even need to correct, you can just extend grace. So that's a choice you are going to have to make. You have to use wisdom. But if you do need to correct, always best to do it in private and preserve that relationship, speaking from a position of love, of caring. I am telling you the truth because I care for you. And as a leader, you really need to have people in your life, in your inner circle, who are free to speak to you bluntly, to tell you exactly what they think when they believe that you are making a mistake. And it's your job not to do everything they say, but to listen to everything they say, consider that, and then formulate your own response and make a decision. All right. So how do we apply this? So practice restorative leadership, address issues without humiliating people. One of the best examples, we talked to General Larry Spencer a couple of days ago, and he said one of the best leadership experiences he had was when one of his leaders, he wasn't compliant with the haircut in the Air Force, and instead of being humiliated by this man, this man actually took him to get the haircut and told him, hey, you need to do better, right? There is a reason why we have all of these rules, and they need to be followed. And then, when he got back into his office, the commanding officer came in and he thought his boss was going to betray him and tell the big boss what he did wrong. But instead, he actually told his boss, "Hey, this young man, he has a great future. Let's make sure to mentor him and keep him in the straight and narrow because great, great things ahead for him in this United States Air Force. And eventually he went from being an airman to a 4-star general. That is pretty impressive. But even at that time, he was thinking about maybe quitting the Air Force every other day, but, uh, he just stuck to it, kept on doing the right thing, and eventually, you know, he got the highest rank possible in the military. And that is pretty Powerful. So you can definitely correct people, but do it in private and do it from a position of caring and loving them, because that's powerful. You could change the life of someone. Wow. So, are you correcting to restore or to assert your control? And how do you balance accountability with grace? So sometimes again, it's not just what you say, but also how you say it. So strong leadership heals rather than humiliates. So don't humiliate your people, but correct them with love. Alright, leadership lesson number 6: Restraint is a mark of wisdom. Verses 27 and 28: Restraint is a mark of wisdom. So Proverbs chapter 17, verses 26 and 28.

Also, to punish the righteous is not good, nor to strike princes for their uprightness. He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

A man of understanding is of a calm spirit. That's definitely one thing I love to see in my commanding officer when there is chaos all around. They remain calm. And because they are calm, then the entire unit is calm also. But if the person in charge is all agitated and out of control, then the entire organization would be agitated and out of control too. So restraint is a mark of wisdom. So silence, timing, and measured speech often carry more authority than constant commentary. Especially when you are in charge of an organization. It's not very wise to be speaking all the time because when people start to be accustomed to you speaking all the time and they start pretty much blocking you out, whatever you say doesn't really mean much. But if you speak few words, you only speak when you need to speak, then every word is weighted and they listen to every single thing you say because it is important. So show some restraint. All right, pause before reacting and let wisdom, not emotion, set the tone. So where would silence serve you better than speaking? Think about that. And how do you model calm under pressure? So the anchor reflection here is wise leader don't speak less, because they know less, but because they know more. Show restraint. All right, the last lesson for today, Proverbs chapter 17, leadership lesson number 7: Loyalty is a leadership multiplier. And that's verse 17. Loyalty is a leadership multiplier. All right, Proverbs 17, verse 17.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. A man— Hmm.

A brother is born for adversity. You really don't know who your friends are until you are in trouble. When everything is so well and you're making so much money, sometimes it's very difficult to tell. Who is your true friend, who's there for you, as opposed to who's there just for what you can give them. But when you are in trouble, when you've lost everything, that's when you're gonna know truly who is your friend, who really truly loves you, because loyalty is a leadership multiplier. True leadership relationships are revealed in adversity, not success. Cultivate loyalty by being consistent, dependable, and present, especially in hard season. When somebody is being rejected by everyone or crucified in public, if you are a true fan, you will reach out and you will show love, and you will try to restore your brother or your sister. You will stick by them even though their name now doesn't mean much anymore. That's loyalty. A friend who sticks closer than a brother. And I think that's probably part of the reason why in the US Navy, and I think in the US military in general, people tend to stick to one another, especially when you are in a combat zone during times of war. You know, I support you, I've got your back, and you've got my six. It is really a when you have a friend, another sailor who's closer to you than your own biological brothers or sister. That's loyalty. When you have sailors who are going to follow you until the end of the earth, and even if they have to, you know, sacrifice their own life for you. I have really not seen that type of love anywhere else but in the military. And that's leadership. That's loyalty. Loyalty is a leadership multiplier. So who stands with you when pressure increases? That's a real friend right there. And how do you show loyalty to those you lead? So the anchor reflection for this lesson is leadership legacy is built on relationships that endure hardship. Again, the way your friends are revealed is not when you are very successful and everything is going very well. It's when you go through trouble, that's when you will know who your real friends are. So again, if you have any comments on what I've shared so far, all of 7 lessons for today, I'd like to hear it. And if there are any verses that I didn't highlight that spoke to you out of Proverbs 17, I'd like to hear that too. So the closing statement for today is Proverbs 17: reminds us that leadership is not loud, but it is measured. It is not impulsive, but it is intentional. And it is not self-serving, but it is relationally grounded. Leaders who value peace practice restraint, speak wisely, and act with integrity. They build trust that outlasts position and success. So that's today's lesson. I'm gonna be back tomorrow for, Ancient Wisdom and Leadership Lessons from the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 18. Tomorrow's gonna be on January 18th. I think we're doing it at 6:30 in the morning Pacific time, so 9:30 Eastern time tomorrow, Sunday. And then tomorrow afternoon, I will have the great pleasure of speaking with the one and only Major Chris Linniger, US Army. He's a mentorship-driven change agent, and we're gonna be talking about his life story from Eagle Scout to field-grade officer in the most powerful army in the world. So Chris will be with us here on the Leadership and Success Podcast tomorrow. All right, until tomorrow, have a wonderful day, and I hope this has brought value to you. And let me know also what are 2 to 3 highlights from today's discussion, and most importantly, what are you going to put in practice today that is going to add value into your life. Thanks again for watching this special edition of the Leadership and Success Podcast. And until tomorrow, have a wonderful weekend. Bye for now.

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