S31:E20🎙️ LIVE AWLL From Proverbs — Chapter 20 (Multi Tracks Audio)

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Hello everyone, welcome to another edition, very special edition of the Leadership and Success Podcast. So today we are going through the Book of Proverbs. Today is January the 20th, so we're going to study Proverbs 20, not for religion but for ancient wisdom and leadership lesson. And as you know, part of our curriculum here is the Maxwell Leadership Bible, again, just to extract leadership principles from ancient scripture and to see how they are still applicable today. And the second book that's part of our curriculum this season is The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by Dr. John C. Maxwell. All right, for a moment of gratitude, this is the second podcast for today. The earlier podcast I had, I spoke to Lieutenant Colonel David Eward, and everybody needs to go back and listen to it. A formidable leader, Lieutenant Colonel in the US Army, retired now. But one thing I really get out of that discussion is we talked about just civility, being civil, being humble, and collaboration. That's really the essence of leadership. But Anyway, you can listen to chapter 1 through chapter 19, which I did yesterday, on any of your favorite podcast platforms. They are available anywhere podcasts are available. But I'm going to give you a quick review of Proverbs 19, the 7 lessons we talked about yesterday, before I start with chapter 20. So while you guys are listening to me, please let me know where you are joining from, which city, what state. Number 2, uh, what you are grateful for today. And then number 3, if you have any insight on Proverbs chapter 20, I'd like to hear it. And also if you have any feedback on the lesson I'm going to be sharing today. So what I'm really grateful for today, like I did in the previous episode, is just, you know, being a U.S. citizen. I think America is such a wonderful country, great promise. And I am so proud to be an American. So I am grateful for the United States of America today. So let me know what you are grateful for. All right, uh, quick, uh, review. Yesterday we talked about Proverbs chapter 19. The first lesson was integrity is greater than image. That was based on Proverbs 19, verse 1. So true leadership is not measured by status wealth, or eloquence, but by integrity. A leader without character eventually collapses under the weight of their own contradiction. So lesson number 2: speed without wisdom leads to failure. That was based on verse 2. Ambition without discernment creates reckless leadership, but passion must be guided by wisdom. Or it becomes destructive. So lesson number 3, take responsibility, don't blame God or others. Based on verse 3, the person unfully leads to their ruin. So immature leaders, they blame circumstances, mature leaders, they own the outcome. Extreme ownership is really what you learn in the military. You have to own your own outcome, take responsibility. So accountability is a leadership accelerant. Alright, lesson number 4, yesterday we talked about character determines the quality of relationship. That's based on verses 4, 6, and 7. So influence built on advantage is fragile, but relationships rooted in character, they endure adversity. Lesson 5, we talked about discipline is an act of love, based on verse 18. Avoiding hard conversation today will create harder consequences tomorrow, but loving leaders correct early and clearly. I would add directly, okay? You have to be kind, kind enough that you will tell people the truth, not just be nice that you don't tell them, uh, what's going on because you are afraid to hurt their feelings. All right, so leadership lesson number 6: Patience is a leadership superpower. That's based on verse 11: A person's wisdom yields patience. It is to one's glory to overlook an offense. So emotionally intelligent leaders do not react, they respond. Big difference. So patience preserves unity and credibility. And finally, lesson 7, we talked about wisdom comes through instruction. That's based off verse 20: Listen to advice and accept discipline. So teachable leader, coachable leaders, they remain relevant. Pride closes ears, whereas humility opens futures. All right, so that's what we studied yesterday. So today we're going to study, um, Proverbs 20. So the big idea here is, uh, this chapter teaches us that leadership is proven through self-mastery, integrity, and discernment over time. So this chapter confronts impulsiveness, pride, laziness, and dishonesty, reminding leaders that credibility is not claimed but revealed through consistent character. So true authority flows from restraint, fairness, and a willingness to listen before acting. Listen before acting. I am reminded over and over again when I read Proverbs what my mom told me, "God gave you two ears and one mouth." So she expected me to use those in those proportions. Listen twice as much as I speak. Listen before you act. Okay, so the theme for chapter 20 is Character Before Command, the power of disciplined, accountable leadership. And again, I like the conversation I just had with Lieutenant Commander Dean Neworth today. He talked about really spending time to know yourself, to be self-aware. Who are you? What do you like? What are your core values? What do you stand for? Right? You have to build that character before you start leading. Character before command. Be disciplined, be accountable before you start leading. So leadership lesson number 1, that's going to be based on verse 1: master yourself before you lead others. Again, I think this is the main lesson of what I learned today. With my conversation, Season 5, Episode 22, with Lieutenant Colonel Dean Eward. So let's read Proverbs chapter 20, verse 1. Let me split my screen. Proverbs chapter 20, verse 1. Here we go. Proverbs 20:1.

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

Hmm, whoever is led astray is not wise. So master yourself before you lead others. All right. Leaders must recognize what compromises their clarity and intentionally govern it. Influence weakens when discipline disappears. So what behavior or habits threaten your judgment under pressure. And remember, when it comes to leadership, what really matters is not when everything is going good, it's when you are under stress, when you are under pressure. That's really where your character is revealed. So what habits or behavior frighten your judgment? And that could be different for everybody. Where do you need stronger personal boundaries? Again, the boundaries are not to avoid you having fun, but it's to make sure that you are having fun in a safe and secure way so that your mission is not negatively impacted. So a leader who cannot govern themselves cannot be trusted to govern others. So that's lesson number 1. Leadership lesson number 2. Respect authority, yours and others. That's going to be based on verse 2.

The wrath of a king is like the roaring of a lion. Whoever provokes him to anger sins against his own life. Wow.

Respect authority. Unchecked authority breeds fear. But respected authority brings stability. Leaders must steward power wisely, remembering accountability flows both upward and downward. So as a leader, not only your direct reports have to be accountable to you, but you also have to be accountable to them. Respect authority. So use authority to protect, not intimidate. Strengthen with restraint, will earn loyalty. Strength with restraint earns loyalty. That's why I think America is one of the most powerful military that's ever been in existence. We are very, very strong, but we also show restraint. Just because we can doesn't mean that we will, right? We try to do what is right, what is just, what is ethical, what is moral, right? In accordance with our core values. And what we stand on. No, for the military, it's, uh, to support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. So you can be very, very strong, but you also have to show restraint because that's going to earn you loyalty. So do people feel safe bringing you our truths? Do you create this culture, psychological safety, where people can speak to you frankly even if you may not want to hear it? Are you exercising authority or enforcing control? So authority gains legitimacy when it is exercised with wisdom and restraint. All right, just because you can do it doesn't mean that you should. All right, leadership lesson number 3: avoid conflict through wisdom, not withdrawal. Let's read verse 3.

It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel.

Any fool can start a quarrel. As a leader, it's your job to de-escalate. So avoid conflict through wisdom. So honorable leaders know when to engage and when to disengage, when to de-escalate, right? Foolish leaders chase conflict, wise leaders pursue resolution. And as a leader, you don't have to be right. Many times in a marriage, I had a leadership marriage conversation the other day with a marriage coach, and I said sometimes you have to choose what— between— within the context of the marriage, between being right and being happy. And if you want to be right all the time, I can tell you, you're not going to be a very happy person. And, uh, that's— that is just life. So how do we apply this? No, lead conversation toward clarity, not ego battles. All right, you don't have to be right all the time. Everybody knows that you are already the boss. You telling everybody that you are the boss, you're in charge, proves that you are not the boss and you are not in charge. Because if you truly are, you don't have to say it. Just your presence will show that, yes, this is the person in charge. When this person speaks, we listen, right? Because of the weight of your words and the wisdom that comes out of it, because you care for your people, because you serve them. That's how they will know. So don't carry your weight around, right? Let your work speak for itself. That's leadership. So where might silence be wiser than reaction? Again, as a leader, you seek to respond, not to react. And are you escalating conflict or diffusing it? As a leader, you want to defuse conflict, bring people together, unify your team, and focus on your mission. Right, mission first, but people, people always. Care about your people, all your people. So the anchor reflection here is peace is not weakness, right? It is disciplined strength. Now strength with restraint, that's power. Alright, leadership lesson number 4: Diligence determines destiny. Let's read verse 4. Diligence determines destiny.

The lazy man will not plow because of winter, He will beg during harvest and have nothing.

Hmm.

Be diligent. Those who avoid efforts early pay the price later. Vision without execution leaves leaders unprepared when results are required. Again, I'm reminded of another one of my primary mentors, Brian Tracy. He's really the one who taught this principle to me about long-term perspective, doing things today that are going to have positive consequences but in the future, right? Not just do things for the moment, for the present, but think about 3 years from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 15 years from now. What do I need to do today to prepare for that opportunity there? What do I need to do today in order to get that harvest? What do I need to plant today? So long-term perspective. Which effort do I need to put out right now, early, in order to get a great life later? Many times what happens is when you avoid hard work, you are going to have a hard life. But if you embrace hard work now that you are young, early in your career, Guess what? The time will come you're gonna have a very easy life, right? That's wisdom. Diligence determines destiny. So how do we apply this? So do the hard work now. Preparation is leadership stewardship. Don't say, I will do it tomorrow, I will do it day after tomorrow. No, do it now. What you can do today, do it now. Prioritize it and get it done. Same thing tomorrow, get it done. And before you know it, there's going to be a compound effect on all of your effort, and you will surely get a great harvest. So where have you delayed necessary effort? Is there something you should have done yesterday you haven't done yet? Maybe last week or even last month? What are you waiting for? Where have you delayed necessary effort? And what discipline will future you be grateful for. That's really, I think I was about 12, 13 years old when I made up my mind in my life, I didn't want to live my life with regret. Whenever I'm old and I'm ready to die, I want to say, "I am so glad I did everything I did." I don't want to regret my life, say, "Oh, I wish I had done that, I wish I had gone to school, I wish, I wish, I wish." No, no, no. I want to say, "I am so glad I did, I did, I did." So we're talking about wisdom, right? So the anchor reflection is: Leaders harvest tomorrow what they plant today. So if you want to harvest tomorrow, you better be planting today. Work today so you can enjoy life tomorrow. All right, leadership lesson number 5: Listen deeply to unlock wisdom. Let's read verse 5: Listen deeply to unlock wisdom.

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

The man of understanding will draw it out. Listen deeply. Unlock wisdom. Counsel is deep water. Wise leaders draw it out. The best insight often remains unspoken unless invited.

Wow.

Think deeply, listen deeply, be diligent in your work, ask better questions, create space for others to contribute because you don't have all of the answers. You are going to need the input from members of your team, from everyone, sometimes even the input from people who don't like you, maybe your enemies or your adversaries, because even in the dirt that they throw at you, there's gotta be some golden nuggets there. So seek for the gold, get rid of the dirt, but seek for the gold, something that they are saying that might actually help you be a better leader. So always have an open mind, you want to learn more. And you want to learn from anyone. Because you can learn from anyone, regardless of their rank, their race, their gender, Because wisdom doesn't respect any of that. So seek wisdom no matter where wisdom is. So do you listen to understand or to respond? The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey writes that book. Many people, when they are in a conversation, once they hear someone speak, they automatically are thinking about their answer, how they are going to react. To that when really the goal of a conversation, of you listening to someone, is not to respond to them but to actually understand what they are saying. So seek to understand and not just to respond. So whose voice have you overlooked? And that happens a lot in organizations. There are certain people, maybe because of their gender, their race, or their rank within the organization or their job title, they kind of get ignored. They get overlooked. You don't want to do that. You want to value each and every member of your team because everybody brings something, everybody brings a perspective. Everybody is going to help you kind of watch out for your blind spots because everybody has a blind spot, right? And the more diverse your team, I think the stronger you are going to be, the more effective you are going to be. As a team, the synergy will be greater than the individual sum of the effort of every member of your team. So open your ears and listen to everyone without exception, and then you make the right decision, the best decision for the organization as the leader. So the anchor reflection here is wisdom rises where humility creates room.

Wow!

Alright, leadership lesson number 6, that's going to be based on verses 6 and 7. Integrity is rare, be one who has it. Alright, be the exception.

Verses 6 and 7: Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man?

Faithful man.

"The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him." Who can find a faithful person?

Who can find a faithful woman?

Wow!

A friend who sticks closer than a brother. It's rare, but you must be the exception. So many claim loyalty, but few live it consistently. And it's so easy to be loyal when everything is going well. But what happens once you are in a period of crisis? What happens when you are under pressure and stress? Are you still going to be loyal to your friend during those times? When their name is dragged through the mud, are you still going to be loyal? Or are you going to run away? Loyalty. So leaders who walk in integrity build generational trust. So align public promises with private conduct. So this one, especially becoming a father, that really changed me a lot because with kids you make them a promise and your child will never forget and they will hold you up to it. So that's why my kids, if they tell you I've made them a promise, they are lying to you because I don't make promises to my kids. I don't make promises to anyone. What I do is, okay, this is my plan. No, this is what I intend. That's my intention. That's what I would like to do. Even better yet, I just don't say it and I just surprise them. It's such a pleasant surprise. But if I say something, I'm not making a promise. I'm telling them, hey, this is my intent. If things go the way I think it will go, this is my heart's desire. That's what I would like to do. I'm not promising you I will do it, but that is my intent. And then things work out, it happens, and I will do what I said. But if things don't go my way or whatever, then I didn't make the promise. Because if you do make a promise, you absolutely have to keep your word no matter what, even if it costs you. So align your public promises with private conduct. Again, I think it's better to not make any promises at all and just surprise people. So they will be pleasantly surprised. Wow, you went above and beyond. But if you do want to speak publicly, then, make sure it's not a promise, but it's an intent. This is what I intend to do. And then when things change, just let people know, I won't be able to do it anymore because of XYZ. So keep communicating. But again, in my experience, it's better for me not to make any promises at all. Alright, so are your values visible in your daily decision? Do you make decisions based on your core values? Are your decisions aligned with your values? Would your team describe you as consistent? Because some of the best skippers, commanding officers I've ever had, they really had very, very high standards. But the thing about them is they were consistent, they were fair, they treated everybody equally. There was no favoritism. These are the standards, they are pretty high, but if you meet or exceed those standards, guess what? You're gonna get your reward. And if you don't, guess what? You are not going to. No, it's very, very clear. It's fair. And everybody knows exactly where they stand all the time. So that is never a surprise when it comes time for your annual evaluation or fitness report. Then you're surprised, oh, how come I got weighted under the average of the skipper? Well, you should know exactly where you are throughout the entire fiscal year. Based on your own performance and meeting or not meeting the standards set by your chain of command. So that is fair. All right, so integrity is leadership's most enduring legacy. All right, the final lesson today, uh, leadership lesson number 7: Fairness is a leader's moral compass. We're gonna read verse 10 and verse 20. Fairness is the leader's moral compass.

Diverse weights and diverse measures, they are both alike an abomination to the Lord.

Let's go to verse 23.

Diverse weights are an abomination to the Lord, and dishonest scales are not good.

Dishonest scales are not good. Dishonest scales might temporarily give you the advantage, but long term, it's going to be a disaster. Alright, so fairness is the leader's moral compass. Dishonest scales, double standards destroy trust. And once you lose that trust, it's almost impossible to get it back. And trust is something that's earned. And sometimes it takes a while to earn trust. So you really, above everything else, you have to safeguard your integrity. Ethical inconsistencies undermine moral authority faster than failure. So apply standard evenly. Justice must be predictable to be trusted. I think the best commanding officer, the best bosses I've ever had are people who are predictable. You know exactly where they stand on every issue. You know exactly what they're gonna do, what they're gonna say, because they are consistent. What they think, their values, what they say, what they do, completely aligned. That is the kind of leader we want to be. All right, so where might unconscious bias be influencing your decisions today? And are expectations consistent across your team? So the anchor reflection here is, uh, fair leaders create environments where trust can thrive. So in closing, Proverbs chapter 20 reminds leaders that Discipline, discernment, and integrity are not optional traits. They are the foundation of lasting influence, legacy. Leadership is tested not in moments of visibility or praise, but in daily choices made when no one is watching. Another great leadership lesson I've learned throughout my life is always thinking about my grandmother, Would my grandmother be proud of me if I made this decision when I know that nobody's watching? But the truth is, as the leader, people are always watching. Even when you think no one is, somebody is. And whatever is done in the darkness will eventually be brought to light. So knowing that, you've got to make sure that you always make the right decision, no matter what. Alright, so those who lead with self-control, fairness, and humility, they leave behind more than success. They leave credibility. I dare say legacy. So that's the lesson for today. I'm going to be back tomorrow for ancient wisdom and leadership lesson from the book of Proverbs chapter 21. And we're going to continue this until the end of the month when we're gonna read Proverbs chapter 31 on January 31st. That's gonna and our special edition of the Leadership and Success podcast on the book of Proverbs. Now, tomorrow, I am going to interview Colonel Chaplain Shabazz. He has a PhD and Doctor of Ministry. He is a command chaplain. We're gonna have a leadership conversation tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, I'm gonna be speaking to Chief Druinard US Navy retired. He's a cybersecurity leader like myself, and I look forward to speaking to him. He's a tech visionary, a keynote speaker, and we're going to be talking about "From Deck Plates to the Digital Battlespace." He's written 3 books: CISSP Practice Questions, Cybersecurity Mindset, and Cybersecurity Leadership. I so look forward to speaking to Chief the day after tomorrow. All right, hopefully you can join me tomorrow for the next episode in our special edition of the Leadership and Success Podcast, Ancient Wisdom and Leadership Lessons from the Book of Proverbs. We're doing Proverbs chapter 21 tomorrow, and tomorrow we are also interviewing Chaplain Colonel Shabazz. So hopefully you're gonna join me tomorrow as well. Have a wonderful day, and I hope this podcast is adding value to you. Bye for now.

Thank you for tuning in to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach BZ. If today's episode added value to your leadership journey, be sure to subscribe, share, and join us again for more wisdom nuggets on how to lead better and achieve greater success. Remember, leadership is the most critical skill of our time. The world will always need leaders to inspire others, drive innovation and execute meaningful strategy. So why not count yourself among the bold leaders shaping the 21st century? Until next time, stay inspired, stay committed, and keep leading with excellence.