S31:E23🎙️ LIVE AWLL From Proverbs — Chapter 23 (Multi Tracks Audio)

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Hello everyone, welcome to another special edition of the Leadership and Success Podcast. Today we are going to be studying the book of Proverbs chapter 23 on January 23rd, and this is not a religious broadcast, but we are going to be looking for ancient wisdom and leadership lesson from the book of Proverbs. So let's start as is our custom with our moment of gratitude where we just take a moment every day, every time we meet to be grateful for something. So if you would maybe close your eyes, put yourself in your happy place, slow down your nervous system, take a deep breath and think about what you are grateful for right now. I think today, yes, yesterday, right? I had the great pleasure of speaking with Chief Duen Alt, retired Chief Petty Officer, US Navy. He is now a cybersecurity leader. And when I asked him what he was optimistic about, he said that he was optimistic that in 2026, more people, because so many people were unemployed last year, especially Black women, they got fired from the US, government, and many are really seeking for work. But anyway, the episode yesterday, I encourage all of you guys to go ahead and listen to it. But he said that he was quite optimistic that 2026 would be the year where more and more Americans are going to find great employment. One image he used that was pretty vivid, he said, there is a seat for you. At a corporate America organization with your name on it. And I think I believe that. I believe 2026 is going to be so much better than it was last year for all of the people listening right now who might be unemployed or underemployed. I believe 2026 is going to be your year, and I am thankful for that. I think it really pays to be optimistic. To be positive and to believe that the best is yet to come. So that's what I'm grateful for. Please type into the comment what you are grateful for, and also let us know where you are joining us from, what city, what state, and if outside of the US, which country. And of course, if you have any insight on Proverbs chapter 23, please let us know as well. So Before I start with Proverbs 23, let's do a quick review of Proverbs 22. That's the lesson we did yesterday. So yesterday we talked about 7 leadership lessons from Proverbs 22. The first one, based on verse 1, was: Character is the leader's greatest asset. Reputation precedes authority. And leaders may inherit a role, but they must earn trust daily. Like my mentor once told me, rank is rented but trust is earned. So titles can open doors, but your character will determine whether people follow willingly. All right, leadership lesson number 2: we talked about humility is a gateway to honor. That's based on verse 4. Pride will limit learning, but humility will multiply growth. So leaders who remain teachable, coachable, will outlast those who rely on the ego. Leadership lesson number 3: Wise leaders anticipate risk. That's based on verse 3. Reactive leadership is expensive. Strategic leadership scans the horizon, identifies threats early, and prepares before crisis strikes. So there's a lot of diligence that is required to be a good leader. And the anchor reflection there was, uh, foresight is one of the clearest markers of mature leadership. All right, leadership lesson number 4: discipline shapes future outcome. That was based on verse 6. Leadership is generational. What you model, teach, and reinforce today shapes tomorrow's leader. And really, the job of a leader is to not just, not just Right, that is what, uh, leaders— the, the job of a leader is to develop other leaders. One book that I highly recommend, The Levels of Leadership, The Five Levels of Leadership by John C. Maxwell. He goes from Level 1, which is positional leadership. That's a great place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there. It's where most people get started. You are a leader just because of your title, because of your position. But where you really want to end up is level 5, the pinnacle, right? That's the highest leadership accomplishment, which is developing other leaders to level 4. And level 4 is people development. Basically, you want to develop leaders to the level where they also develop other leaders. So your work is multiply. That's what we should all be aspiring to. Alright, the anchor for lesson 4 is leaders don't just deliver results, but they develop successors. There is no success without successor. Very important. Okay, leadership lesson 5: wealth without wisdom is a trap. That's based on verse 7. So financial stewardship reflects leadership maturity. Dependence, whether financial or political or operational, limits freedom and influence. Well, leadership number 6, leadership lesson number 6: Words shape culture and outcome. That's based on verse 11. Clean motives and thoughtful words build access and influence. So leaders set culture through their tone, the truth, and consistency. And the final lesson we did yesterday, leadership lesson number 7, was wisdom must be internalized, not just memorized. Based on verses 17, 18, and 19. So wisdom is not about information, but it's about transformation. So leaders grow when truth moves from the head to the heart. So that's where we stopped yesterday. So today we're gonna start with Proverbs chapter 23. So what's the big idea here? This chapter confronts leaders with a sobering truth. What you desire, what you tolerate, and what you consume will eventually define you. You become what you desire, what you tolerate, and what you consume. So this chapter warns against the quiet dangers of excess, envy, false security, undisciplined appetite, while calling leaders to guard their hearts, steward their influence, and choose wisdom over momentary gratification. So leadership is not only about what you do publicly, but also about what you allow privately. So the theme for this chapter is guarding the heart and governing your desire. Okay, leadership lesson number 1, discern power before you sit at the table. That's based on verses 1, 2, and 3. So let's read that. Decision power before you sit at the table. All right, let me share my screen. Here we go.

When you sit down to eat with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you and put a knife to your throat if you are a man given to appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for they are deceptive food.

Hmm, that's quite interesting. When you sit to eat with a ruler Consider diligently what is before you. Influence often arrives disguised as opportunity. Hmm. Isn't that something? Influence is disguised as opportunity, which reminds me of what one of my mentor told me. He said that success many times disguises itself as hard work. Many people don't like to work hard, but if you do, That's how you are going to find great success. So here I'm saying that influence disguised as opportunity. So wise leaders discern motive, power dynamics, and hidden costs before accepting favors or access. So before entering elite rooms or high-stakes partnership, ask what is being exchanged and at what price, and are you willing to pay the cost? So what initi— what invitations in your life require greater discernment? Just because an opportunity comes to you doesn't mean that you have to say yes to it. So count the cost before you start building your house. And are you being shaped by the table or are you shaping the table? Big difference. And hopefully as you go into your leadership journey, you will become an influencer, someone who will be shaping the table, helping to shape the policies and helping to direct your organization. I remember when I was selected to become an ensign, a junior officer in the US Navy, my primary mentor told me there were kind of 3 types of people in the world. And he said I should really aspire to be at least the second type or better yet, eventually the third type. The first type of people are people who have no idea what is going on, right? So there are people who kind of wonder what the heck happened. They are completely in the dark. They don't know anything about what's happening. The second type of people which inspired me to get into was the people who are aware of what is going on in the world, in their field, in their country, they are aware of changes and trends. They see what's happening. And then the third type, which is the one I've been aspiring to since 2007 now, are the people who actually shape the world. They shape the culture, they shape the trend. That's true leadership. And eventually, that is where we would like to aspire to, being the people who really make things happen. But if not, at least be aware of what's happening around you. All right. So the anchor reflection here is access without wisdom can become a trap. So leaders must evaluate opportunity with humility and clarity. Leading with humility is really one of the best lessons I've ever learned throughout my entire career, especially after I became a commanding officer as a commander in the US Navy. That's a very, very big job, lots of responsibility. And if you don't have humility, you will not do very well. Because it's very dangerous as you move up the chain of command, the corporate ladder, and you get at the very, very top, you know, as the commanding officer, there is really nobody above you. You are in charge of the mission and the people of your command. You really don't want to have a big head, big ego, and saying, oh, I have arrived, I am so smarter, I am better than anybody else. No, no, you are not. Actually, you are not anybody's boss really, you are everybody's servant. Your job is to serve your people, remove the obstacle in their way in order to accomplish the mission, love them, care for them, and do everything in your power to make their life easy and to make it so that they can be productive. So you wanna create an environment where your people want to come and work, and then once they get there, they wanna do the very, very best work they can. Reminded of what one of my dear mentors, General Powell said over and over again, with management, potentially you can get people to work up to 100% of their potential. That's really the mathematics. You cannot get over 100%. Although I read Harvard Business Review, they said most people, they only work about 25% of what they are able to every day, but management could get it from 25% to 100% in theory. But what leadership does, it takes you above 100%. It takes you to 110%, 120%. That's when people want to work with you. They are excited to be there and they will follow you no matter where you lead. That's leadership. So again, you know, rank is rented, but trust is earned. When you build that trust and when the people are focused on the mission and they— that's why even, you know, in the military, we usually get paid a lot less than people are paid in the industry. They get paid a lot more for the same type of job and same skills. But in the military, people are willing to give their life for their mission. That's leadership. All right, so, um, lesson number 2: do not chase illusion of wealth. Let's read verses 4 and 5.

Do not overwork to be rich because of your own understanding. Cease. Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings. They fly away like an eagle toward heaven.

Wow. That is quite insightful. Labor not to be rich and cease from thine own wisdom. Wealth is fleeting, wisdom is enduring. Leaders who define success only by accumulation lose sight of purpose and people. So always keep your sight on your purpose and the people you serve. Mission first, people always. That's my leadership mantra. One team, one fight. And again, the focus is on people, people within my organization, people within all of the other function within the organization, and working together toward a single goal, the single focus mission. So measure success by impact, by integrity, and by legacy, not just compensation or status. And for most people out there, I think people tend to think, well, if I just pay my people more money, they will be loyal, they will want to stay. Well, not everybody is motivated by money. And I think for people who really want to add a lot of value, yeah, money is important, but it's not the most important thing. Just giving them more money is not going to motivate them. So I think some of the A players I've really worked with, especially in the military, very much motivated by the mission, the type of job they do, opportunity for advancement, for growing, for learning. So there are a lot of things that motivate them a lot more than just money or benefit. All right, so what are you striving for and why are you striving for it? Has ambition replaced your calling? There is nothing like a man who is working on purpose.

Wow.

So leadership anchored in purpose will outlast leadership driven by profit. You should watch the interview I had with the highest-ranked Muslim chaplain in the history of the US military. That's Colonel Khalid Shabazz. He's a very influential, exciting, inspirational man. I mean, he has gone through so much, pain and challenges, but, uh, it didn't matter. He ended up being the highest-ranked chaplain in the history of the U.S. military. Sometimes he would say that most of the time when he started a new set of orders in his command, the first 4 months were usually the worst months of his career. But then by the time he left, the last 4 months were like the best months of his career. Ever. So there's been a lot of, I don't know, people didn't like him very much. One, he is Black, but also he is a Muslim. And some people, I really didn't realize that, but we still have a lot of discrimination against certain religion. So many times he wouldn't be invited at function and people wouldn't want to talk to him, but he is such a kind man and he adds so much value and he really values relationship people above everything else that he eventually turns that around no matter which command he went to. So I think having a purpose, knowing why you are here and not be moved by, you know, what you are seeing or whatever temporary challenges you might be facing is a great asset for any leader. Knowing why you do what you do. That's the only reason why you would not quit. That's the only reason why. Now he has what, more than 8, 9 degrees? He has 2 doctorates, a PhD, and a doctorate of divinity. I mean, it's just amazing. His life story is just unbelievable and so inspiring. That's the type of leader I want to be, and I think we should all aspire to do that. All right, leadership lesson number 3: beware of Eden agendas. Let's read verses 6, 7, and 8.

Do not eat the bread of a miser, nor desire his delicacies, for as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Eat and drink, he says to you, but his heart is not with you. The morsel you have eaten you will vomit up and waste your pleasant words.

Okay, beware of hidden agendas. Not every smile is sincere, and leaders must recognize when generosity is transactional and relationships are conditional. Build trust slowly. Character reveals itself over time, not during moment of convenience. So who truly wants your success, not just your usefulness? Where might you be ignoring warning signs, red flags? Which reminds me something that Oprah said, right? When people show you who they are, you've got to believe them. So you have to use discernment because discernment protects leaders from relational debt they never intended to occur. Alright, leadership lesson number 4: Discipline is a gift, not a punishment. Let's read verses 12, 13, and 14. Leadership is a gift.

Apply your heart to instruction. And your ears to words of knowledge. Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.

All right, so we're talking about discipline being a gift. Correction will preserve life. And potential. Leaders who avoid discipline eventually enable dysfunction. This is a good place to talk about the difference between nice and kind. I think every leader should be kind, but sometimes people are so nice they cannot have the hard conversation they need to have. And as a leader, you need to be honest, you need to be frank, and when it's needed, you need to have those hard conversations. You have to be kind, but you have to be firm, and you do have to speak the truth because correction is going to preserve the life and the potential of your employee, including your own. You also need to be open for correction, for feedback, even when you don't wanna hear it. You have to embrace coaching, accountability, and corrective feedback for yourself and members of your team. I think everybody should have in their inner circle, a group of people who are free to speak to them frankly. Okay, I think that is so important. A few people that you can call onto who are going to tell you exactly what's up and not be impressed by your achievement, by your title, or anything else. And you have to be open to that. That's going to make you wiser. Again, you don't have to do everything they say, but you do have to listen, especially when they're speaking from a position of love. You know, they care for you, so everything they are telling you is because they care. For you. You know their motive, why they are telling you what they are telling you, because they really truly care. All right, so how do you respond to correction? And are you willing to confront lovingly but firmly? Again, be kind and not try to be nice, not smile at people's face, and then in their back you telling people how bad those people are, right? You have to be frank. You have to be a person of honesty, of integrity. And if something isn't right, it is not right. You do have to address it frankly, kindly, but firmly, and I hope from a position of love and care. Alright, so discipline today will prevent regret tomorrow. Alright, leadership lesson number 5: Guard your heart, it drives everything. Let's go to verse 19. Your heart drives everything.

Hear, my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the way.

Guard your heart in the way. Leadership failures often begin in the heart long before they surface in behaviour. So establish rhythms of reflection, prayer, meditation, self-assessment to keep your inner life aligned. What emotion or desire are steering your decision? Is your heart aligned with your values? Another one of my mentors, they said something that was pretty life-changing. It was very simple. They said, I am not what I think. Because the way we think, for most of us, we've been pretty much pre-programmed based on where we grew up, where we lived, our environment, we tend to automatically think a certain way. And sometimes we let our emotion kind of take over. But what you are thinking is not you. It's you who's doing the thinking. So you can change the way you think. You can change your belief, right? You don't have to keep believing the things that you used to believe 10 years ago, 15 years ago. Life change, you have an open mind, you can learn more and you can change the way you think about things. You can change your mindset, the way you look at things. That's you. So you are not what you think. And because you are not what you think, you can change the way you think. That's pretty powerful. So again, what emotions or desires are steering your decision right now? And is your heart aligned with your values? Does your thinking, your emotions, your action align with your core values? —because leaders who govern the heart also govern the course. Powerful! Okay, leadership lesson number 6: Excess erodes authority. So let's read verse 20 and 21.

Do not mix with winebibbers or with gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard And the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness will clothe a man with rags.

Wow, that is, uh, quite insightful. Overindulgence in food or drink, ego or pleasure, dulls judgment and credibility. So practice moderation and self-control. Doesn't mean that, you know, you shouldn't drink wine. For those who do, that's perfectly fine, but don't get drunk. Use it in moderation. So leaders are always modeling something, always, whether you are aware of it or not. Even when you think nobody's watching, somebody's always watching. So you are a role model whether you like it or not, if you are in a position of leadership. So where might excess be weakening your leadership, and what habits need recalibration? So authority weakens when discipline disappears. So as a mature leader, you need to be disciplined, live a life of discipline. Okay, the last lesson today, Leadership Lesson #7: Private Choices Shape Public Legacy. So we're going to read verses 29-35. Private choices shape public legacy.

Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who linger long at the wine, those who go in search of mixed wine. Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly. At the last it bites like a serpent and stings like a viper. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things. Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, or like one who lies at the top of the mast, saying, there They have struck me, but I was not hurt; they have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink?

Yeah, so it's definitely talking about the drunkard, those who really get into excess when it comes to drinking alcohol. Me personally, I don't drink alcohol at all, but again, it doesn't mean that nobody else should. As long as you do it in moderation, I think that is fine. But you really have to live that life of discipline because your private choices will shape your public legacy. So unchecked appetite leads to compromised vision. What leaders normalize privately eventually surfaces publicly. Whatever you do in the darkness will eventually be brought to the light. And whatever you do when you think nobody's watching, well, guess what? Somebody's always, always, always watching. That's something I really learned as a commanding officer. I mean, it's very prestigious. You are pretty much, you know, at the very top of the food chain, and you have people who are really looking up to you and trying to do their very best to please you and follow your orders and all of that. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be an order, it's just like an idea or an intention, right? Some cases, now, you may be walking by the wall, you say, hmm, it would be interesting to see if this white wall, what it would look like if it was blue. I don't know, just thinking. And then you walk away, and next time you walk by the wall, it's been painted blue. And just giving you an image of, of what it sometimes feels like, you know, when you are a commanding officer or a general or an admiral in the military. People really, really want to please, even when you don't specifically give orders, just an idea or an intent. The people want to go there and make it happen. So what I'm saying is, uh, you are always, always on the spotlight, always, always. So you have to be careful the decision you make. All right. So how do we apply this? I think you need to create guardrails, right? I have mentors and I had plenty of those, including senior enlisted folks, you know, who mentored me from the time I was an E-1, a seaman recruit, junior enlisted guy. And I would call them, reach out to them and ask for their advice and wisdom. Accountability partner and have boundaries, have guardrails that protect your clarity and your calling. So what small compromises are you rationalizing right now? And who helps you stay aligned? So leadership is rarely destroyed by one fall, but by many ignored warnings. So think about that, a life of daily discipline. So powerful. Okay. As a closing statement, this chapter, Proverbs 23, reminds us that self-governance precedes organizational leadership. So you have to govern yourself first before you are able to govern an organization. You have to influence yourself first before you can influence your team. So influence grows when appetite is restrained, wisdom is prioritized, and the heart is guarded. And I think one of the best ways to keep your appetite in check is to control your environment, control your atmosphere, what is available to you. For example, if you have a weakness for junk food, whether it's pizza or donut or whatever it is, then create an environment where in your kitchen those bad foods do not exist, where they are not present. So you won't even be tempted. So you will not even need to use your willpower to fight a temptation. Just get it completely out of your environment and make it so that it's easier for you to do the right thing, whether it's not eating veg, veg, veg, vegetable, or whatever it might be. Have those type of foods available because then you won't, you will not be tempted and you will not have to use your willpower and you will naturally use whatever is in your environment. So look at your environment right now and try to make make it as easy as possible to do the right thing all the time. For example, one of my mentors is pretty extreme. One of his weaknesses is his phone. Whenever he uses his phone, he gets into social media, then he wastes a lot of time. So what he does is when he goes to work, he locks his phone in his car. He puts it in the glove compartment so you cannot reach him by phone and he's not tempted to go to Facebook, social media, or whatever. He just focuses on work. And then after work, he can go check his messages. So he has specific time when he checks even just email, specific time during the day when he does that. And then other times email is not available to him. So that's kind of extreme. But again, that's one way to really keep yourself in check. Whatever has been your source of temptation or failure, just put things in your environment to prevent that from happening going forward. Again, use wisdom. Okay, so influence grows when appetite is restrained, so wisdom is prioritized, and the heart is guarded. So leaders who master themselves earn the trust to lead others. That's really the big lesson here, Proverbs chapter 23. So tomorrow we are going to come back and we are going to do— tomorrow, Saturday, on January 24th, we're gonna, uh, Go through the book of Proverbs chapter 24 for ancient wisdom and mentoring from the book of Proverbs. So we're gonna focus on ancient wisdom and leadership lesson from Proverbs chapter 24. All right, I don't see any comment in the chat box, so I'm going to remind you, uh, in about 2 hours I will have a great privilege. It's going to be 9 AM Pacific time, 12 PM noon on the East Coast. I will have a great privilege of speaking with Colonel Thomas Gordon is a retired United States Marine Corps colonel, principled, formative, and resilient. We're gonna be talking about Marine Maxim in Action, which is the title of his bestselling book, Marine Maxim. So we're gonna be talking about building character that withstands command. You do not want to miss it. Come ready with your question for the colonel, and I look forward to that. All right, until, uh, later today, in a couple of hours, uh, have a wonderful day. And also let me know what are 3 to 5 highlights from the discussion we just had on Proverbs, uh, 23. Type it in the comment. And thanks again for watching this special edition of the Leadership and Success Podcast. Bye for now.

Thank you for tuning in to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach I'm Bob Fabien Zinga. If today's episode added value to your leadership journey, be sure to subscribe, share, and join us again for more wisdom nuggets on how to lead better and achieve greater success. Remember, leadership is the most critical skill of our time. The world will always need leaders to inspire others, drive innovation, and execute meaningful strategy. So why not count yourself among the bold leaders shaping the 21st century? Century. Until next time, stay inspired, stay committed, and keep leading with excellence.